Working Full-time with No Time to Work Out

K.,

I feel for you and your situation. The hardest part of parenting is balance and staying healthy does need to be a priority so we can enjoy our children for a long while to come. In my opinion, the hours you spend with your son are going to be remembered and make more of an impact on him than any membership to a gym is going to positively impact you. I taught school for 11 years before choosing to stay home with our son and saw so many children who just needed more time with their parents! You may end up feeling guilty for having spent money on something that you feel you HAVE to use when time with your son is already in short supply and it's what you really want. So what to do about exercising? My husband did a few things (and still does) that made a huge difference when he was in graduate school with no time to work out. 1) He walked everywhere! He NEVER took an elevator, parked the car a hundred miles out, and always did errands at his work place by walking very quickly. Sound silly? Wear a pedometer and see just how many steps you really take in a normal day. My husband was amazed at just how much physical activity he could get in just by not taking the convenient way out. 2)He did simple weight exercises at home while talking with me about his day. In just 20 minutes he was able to catch up with me AND tone his muscles. He chose a different area to work on each day and exercised only that muscle group for 20 minutes. For example he would do different arm curls with small hand weights and exercise all the diff. parts of his arm and chest. The next day he would do stomach crunches, leg lifts and some pilates moves to strengthen his core and so on. 3) He also involved me in an after dinner walk or short bike ride for 30-40 minutes when the weather was nice. Even though he was usualy tired during his 120 plus hour weeks, these simple things helped keep him moving and didn't push me out of the picture while doing it. Trying to find things he could do while doing something else or while being at home and talking with me kept us both happy. It wasn't a full fledged work out but a little somehting for 20-30 every day did help him stay healthier. Try the website RealAge.com and see what you can find there about fitness on the go too. IT has a wealth of info about living a healthier life. Ultimatley your goal is to stay around longer to enjoy your husband and son. You can never replce time lost but you can improve the time you have. I wish you the best in your effort to multitask!

1 mom found this helpful

K., I have been in your situation for a several years. I have two girls (4 and 1) and pregnant with #3 and work full time, usually starting anytime between 7:30 and 9 and ending between 4 and 5, sometimes 6. My husband is an orthopedics resident so he is not dependable for much help. If your husband has a normal schedule, arrange for him to either drop the kids off or pick them up so you can exercise. If he suggests a family membership he needs to work with your needs. I agree, picking up your kids from day care only to put them in the gym babysitting is a crappy option.

Or, if you do get a family membership, you can all go together after dinner and your husband can shoot hoops with your son while you work out, and you can help your son with homework or do whatever with your son while he works out. It's really about an hour and a half that you will all be at the gym; many families just watch TV after dinner anyway.

If you must exercise alone, then you will need to bite the bullet and make some sacrifices of your personal time to get the workouts done. I wouldn't worry too much about taking 30-45 minutes away from family time a few times per week to exercise---your son will see you taking care of yourself and you'll be a healthy example. And, he's old enough to ride his bike along with you. Maybe on the weekend your family can go to a high school track or park and run sprints or stairs or do other vigorous things.

If you don't want to work out with the fam, then face it, you will need to learn to get up early or go to bed late, or send your husband and son out to eat or somewhere while you take time for yourself. It's a sacrifice but your health is worth it. My girls aren't old enough to have around while I exercise, so I get up each day at 5:07 am to jump rope in the garage (if my husband already left for work) or run around the block (if he's still home). It's not fun, but must be done.

Good luck. I know how hard it is, but it's worth it.
J.

Most fitness places are open 24 hours or 5am. To make sure I did not miss time with my son I would go at 5am and then my husband works out at lunch or after work? It took some time to get use to but once it was a routine it made me feel great!

I am not a morning person so no matter how much I tried there's no way I can get up early to work out. I have to be at work @ 7 Am so I'd have to wake up at 5. I have two toddlers and work full time... So I got an ABDOER and started doing it for half an hour or so a few days a week. It's great and compact so it fits in the corner of the room. I also got belly dancing videos that give me a real workout and the kids do it with me and blow off some energy too. Weather permitting, we take long walks and do lunges. The kids think they're great fun.
Good luck

I think your schedule is full enough as it is! That's
way too long for him to be away from you. Also, having a good
meal together is far more important right now. If your time
management is poor, Sit down and make a schedule that all of
you can live with. Include chores, shopping, cleaning etc.
All this is doable and simple if you're willing to change.
All children (and most adults) do better with a routine. It's
time to get your lives under control.

K.,
being a working mom is a VERY busy person,and remember "when you arent feeling right,or feel you need the gym" do it...why is your son not in Kindergarden? That is more of a school setting. Then the hour or so you spend at the gym (date night) with your husband...your son will have not such a structured (daycare) time,,,I am sure at the gym its more of a let it all out (making him tired) thing. Works good for all of you. He gets to PLAY,you and hubby get time together,and you will be a healthy mom and wife.
Sometimes we think we tend to know how are kids feel,we really dont. Try this for about a month,,,then ask your son how he likes it? better then staying home with a sitter,,,I bet he will love it and go gladly!
Good luck to you!
~S.

As an exercise physiologist I have had people ask this question several times. Since your son is 6 have him go on walks with you, even let him ride his bike while you walk. Ride bikes together. When the weather is colder try doing videos at home if you can,(there are mommy and me videos out there) when it is warmer do take longer walks, play at the park. Maybe look into a place that offers Saturday classes as well. Many centers have classes that are pay as you go, therefore you only pay for what you do. By incorporating your son you are not only spending time with him, you are also teaching him that being active is important.

Hi! I am the mother of 5 and am in reasonably good shape. Have you thought about a treadmill? Your son could play or read next to you as you work out, and if he behaves without interrupting, you can reward him with a "ride" on it (set it medium fast and let him fly off it:))or use other rewards. Can you get up 15 minutes early and stretch out, then do muscle building excercise? Make it part of your daily routine. As well, is your job active? Can you include 15 minutes of stairs in your day during a coffee break? It would require discipline and choosing to do it during work instead of after. That is the decision you must make. More time doesn't just occur, you must carve out what is important.
Cecilia R.

The fact that you feel it is important to excercise is AWESOME!! I work at a Physical Therapy clinic and we see NUMEROUS amounts of people who have all kinds of problems because they never thought excercise was needed. IT IS!! I used to think I didn't have time with 2 boys and a FT job but then I met the therapist who works at my clinic and she has a full-time job (MUCH more hours than me) and she also has 5 kids. She MAKES time. So having kids really isn't an excuse. Working out when the baby is asleep will help with your guilt. Either get up early or go late.

Ya know, I have been trying to figure out the same thing! I am actually in the mist of looking for an elliptical to get in those cardio workouts WHILE spending time with my son. Or after he goes to bed at night. My work has a gym on sight, and even though I can't go during lunch, I may try to go before or after for like 45 minutes. I on the other hand work nights, so staying after work is getting to the gym at 745a, and my son is already at school when I get home either way. Best of luck to you. Let me know what you figure out!

Do NOT sacrifice your son's time with you for working out.
Your son NEEDS that time with you after the LONG LONG day at day care.
Do you and your husband have any idea how long a time that is for a child?
I remember How LONG it seemed to me when I was at school in the first grade.
It seemed an eternity.....
Take a walk with your son for some exercise, or ride bikes together, or roller skate or whatever.....
He will remember your time together....

I have found out that chosing the days I will work out ahead of time works well. Those nights my husband puts our daughter to bed and makes dinner. This way I still get to spend time with my daughter after work, but am able to get a quick workout in between her bedtime (7pm) and dinner with my husband. We eat late, but I get to exercise and spend time with my husband and daughter, so it's okay with me. The only other thing that has worked is getting up early in the morning.

My brother just got a new treadmill and gave me his old one---still works fine but a little squeaky :) I have been walking on it 25-30 minutes every weekday morning for nearly four weeks now. I just get up 1/2 hour earlier in the morning (not ideal but it doesn't take any time away from my children since they are still asleep) I set up a little TV so I can catch the news while I'm walking and it seems to keep me motivated so far. No travel time to the gym either---Hope this is helpful to you!

I fell you need to do what is best for you. If cherrishing the time with your son has more meaning to you than working out, then find something to do with him. As the weather gets better, take your son out for a walk he can ride a bike or big wheel, while you get a brisk walk in. Try just doing knee bends, leg lifts ect. while doing dishes or cooking stand in front of the sink or stove and moving back and forth kicking your legs up behind you. This shouldn't take away from your quality time with your son, but gives you some activitity. Do stretches with your son. Children need to be fit, too. But having guilt will only hamper your workout.

I currently only work part time, so I haven't encountered this yet, but I am currently looking for a full time job. My plan is to get a gaming system and the Dance Dance Revolution game. Our YMCA has an arcade version in the games area, and it is a HUGE hit. There is almost always a line of people waiting to use it - and the majority are kids that are about 5-10 years old (must be homeschoolers :) ). I love to dance, and whenever there isn't a line, I do DDR at the YMCA as my workout. There are songs at all speeds and difficultites, so I can get as good a cardio workout as I do on an eliptical. I know other people do this, too. Depending on the cost of the gym memebership and whether you'll do it or not, this could be comparable to the cost of the membership. You can get two dance pads and your son could "play" with you!

Instead of looking it as another 'daycare' for your son, look at it as an exercise class. Many of the gyms around here (monon center, ymca, etc) have numerous classes for the kids. You can have your son do a soccer or swim or taekwondo class or whatever for 30-60 minutes while you workout in the fitness center. Even if you just leave him in the childcare center, it's not just 'daycare'. They usually get the kids active like practice dribbling a soccer ball or shoot hoops or even just stuff like doing a hula-hoop. I put my son in the kidzone at my gym a few times a week and he loves it -- and he's exhausted after 45 minutes because of the fun workout he had.

Since your son is 6 years old. You could find a fitness club, like the YMCA that has classes and activities for his age. My boys loved taking Martial Arts at that age. Then you can work out during his class.

Hi K.-
We have a treadmill and small set of gym equipment in our basement - pull up/dip station and some free weights. I have 4 children and used to run a lot so after #4 I finally broke down and went with the treadmill. With the Ohio weather that's the best anyhow.
I do a customizable program I just found called crossfit.com. They are short but intense exercises that you can adjust to your ability. In fact, if you go to pikespeakcrossfit.com, you will see my husband's good friend Dru's website and he lays out the daily work outs with different difficultly levels in mind.
So these workouts take only around 15 minutes and I've found a fun way to do them as interval work with my 8 year old (see crossfitkids.com too!). An example would be 30 push ups, 30 pull ups, 30 sit ups, 30 'burpies', 30 squats, 30 kettle bell swings (use a 12 pound dumbell and watch the videos on the website to learn how to do this and other exercises that may be new to you), etc. So its basic stuff and my son likes to do what he can with me.
Definitely this is the most intensive, efficient workout I've ever done. You will be sore. And I'll tell you that I still can't do a full pull up but I'm getting closer and I do variations like jumping pull ups instead. Again, watch the videos on the websites.
My youngest is 10 months and I'm already back to pre-baby weight doing this just a couple times a week. And what fun to do it with the family!
Please email me if you have more questions about it. ____@____.com.

Have you tried fitting in 15-20 minutes in the morning (maybe getting up earlier) and another 15-20 minutes or more in the afternoon or evening? Realize you DON'T have to belong to a gym to get in a great workout. There are TONS of functional training exercisese that involve the entire body. Many of them are VERY challenging.

What about maybe abs in the morning and legs in the evening, etc. Now that it's getting nice out, maybe you could take the kids for a stroll and get in some cardio for you too! We take bike rides w/ Abbie & get in our own workout. Not quite as good as if we were on our own, but something is better than nothing and it's time with her.

As far as training at home, make it a family thing. If the six year old wants to participate and try.......let him. If you're lifitng any weights, have him do something else, but ENCOURAGE THEM EARLY when it comes to exercise. Help them to see how important it is in the life of everyone AND in your life as a FAMILY. You get to work out AND have some family time.

Maybe one night a week is "Dad's night" with your son and another night is "Mom's night." Then....each of you could spend the time, maybe 40 minutes to an hour or even HALF an hour, if you want..... exercising how you want to....running, biking, lifting or whatever WITHOUT sacrificing your child's time with the parent.

At six they certainly will want to participate. Abbie is five and wants to exercise all the time. The car was parked far away from the church yesterday and she told us on the way to the car that she was glad so that she could get some exercise. AND......we had some great conversation as we walked. Where there's a will........there's a way.

There is a great tape called The Method - Precision Toning with Jennifer Kries that will strengthen and tone "any" body. It's a 45 minute tape and the best part is your 6 year old can do it with you. It makes great time spent together and another good idea is to ask him to help be your trainer and keep you acountable for doing it 3 x's a week. You could make a little chart for him to help check things off you do. And even if he doesn't want to excersise with you or be your "trainer" he can be in the room with you doing homework or coloring or whatever. It's great to instill excersise in a child while young, the benefits are especially good if excessive weight is in the genes.

I can totally understand how you feel, I also work full time and have 7-yr old boy and 5-yr old girl. I recently started working out again after completely giving it up since having the babies. My body was falling apart, and I was having neck, back and hip pain. I was taking Ibuprofen daily. I needed to find time to work out if I wanted to remain an active mommy ready to play with my kids.
I still have a hard time during the week, for the same reasons you expressed. After working all day, I want to spend time with my kids for only 2 hours before bed.
So, my solution is to work out on Saturday morning. I've managed to stick to it for 1 year, and now that it is part of my routine, I'm ready to add one more day, maybe an evening after dinner, when the kids go to bed. But I have not managed that yet!
My saturday morning is working out great, my husband stays home with the kids, and I go out to work out, then do my errands and come back for lunch. We did get a family membership at a gym (Brownsburg Fitness), and I chose to work out with a trainer. It's the only way I stick to it, but it works out because I know she's there waiting for me. The good thing about strength training with an expert is that I get a lot out of the only day a week that I go. You'd be amazed to see me before and after! I take no Ibuprofen any more, and my trainer has managed to get me to lose some inches around abdomen, and reduce 3% of body fat too! Working out with her allows me to get the most out of my limited time availability. And I feel a whole bunch better now!
Don't try 3-times a week at first, stick to one time and be consistent. After a while, you can think about adding some more, once the first time becomes your routine.
Good luck :)

try finding a mom and kid yoga class. you might not get a strenuous work out, but you'll get something done and time with him. you might also get to do yoga together at home once he gets into it. kids really enjoy the animal names/poses and the stretching.

I work full-time (military) and I have a eight year old daughter and juggle a long distance relationship. I teach an exercise class five days a week. Last year I would not have thought that I could do it, but it was possible. I had to schedule time for myself. Maybe start out with just two days a week and do small workouts during comercials while watching TV. One day could be during the week and then a workout on the weekend. When you take the time to workout it helps keep your energy up. You may not realize it a first, but you will soon notice you are not as tired as you use to be. Remember your most important thing you want to do is be there for your family and being healthy is part of that. So don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself. When I went to a Gym, my daughter loved it more than I thought. She would want me to go on days I didn't. Just know that you are the only one who can take care of your body and you have to schedule the time just as you would any other important appointment.

V. D.

PS: I'm 33 also :-)

I struggled with the "work out" guilt myself. I am the mom of three, 11, 5 and 3 years old and my husband works nights. For a long time I struggled with time to brush my teeth and hair let alone work out. What I realized that was me time and I deserved at least three hours of me time a week. I am a walker so I put on my shoes and walk 45 minutes or so four times a week and usually include my kids for the first loop around the neighborhood then dad takes them to the park in our neighborhood. When I get home I do my abs and weights. When the weather is bad I do a video with the kids or we dance together. If working out is important to you you will find a way and good work outs don't always have to be at the gym.

I know it is difficult to workout with kids. I have been battling that too but my daughter is four months old. My suggestion would be to find a reasonably priced treadmill and some weights and keep them at your house over even a pilates tape would be good and do a workout after your son goes to bed.

You have no need to worry. Go ahead and get the gym membership and just make sure the time you are with your son is definitely quality time. It is not quantity that counts with children it is quality. I was worried about this with my daughter because I worked (at a gym-where she got to go play in the Kidzone when she wasn't in school), went to school, and was renovating our house; so I rarely got to see her. So when a job with fewr hours presented itself came along I jumped for it, yet now my daughter constantly tells me she misses the gym and wants me to take the job back/tell them I want to work again(not that it is this easy). But this shows that children just want to play and know that mommy &/daddy will be there no matter what. Just make that so. G.

I feel the exact same way!!! The way I've worked it out is so that I work out on Saturdays and Sundays, and then one or two days during the week. One of those days, my mom takes our son, and the other day, I take him to the daycare at the gym. He loves it because they play games and there are different things to do there than at home. It's still a tough one though! What about videos at home? Some poeple really like those. ALso, our gym has a "kids club" that kids go to when they are 6 or 7, so that wouldn't be bad either!

I get up at 5:30 am three days a week to get to the gym by 6, so that i can be home by the time my husband has to get ready for work.

I am looking into a club called Exercise Inc. It's almost like a personal trainer. The thing is you go very slowly, it takes about 20 minutes but only once a week! I figure if I can do a good workout once a week, it would be great! That's something you might try!

Same here. My husband and I decided to get the membership, but felt we would take the kids from one daycare to another. Did we feel GUILTY!

To our surprise, we got our 6 year old daughter in soccer at the YMCA. When she was at practice with my husband, I was able to go workout for at least 30 minutes (vice versa). This became routine, until one day she asked us to go to the YMCA after school because she loves the playroom. Our 2 year old son is the same way. I found that even though we were going from one daycare to another - the kids were happy playing and making new friends.

Take your son's lead. If you go workout, but he just don't want to go to the daycare, then this may not work out for you. But if he begins to enjoy going because he gets to play, swim, and meet new friends - you would have found something for all of you -----most importantly ---time to work out.

GOOD LUCK!

I am a wife of 9 years and a mother of two, who is always working, but NEED to make time to workout.

Have you considered working out on alternate days as your husband so that one of you can be home with your son? I know what its like to have your child in daycare all day and then not wanting them to be in daycare again after you get home but sometimes you still need to take time for yourself. I'm actually just starting to learn this. I am a recently single parent of 3 girls and am trying to learn how to take some ME time which is something I never had before.

Good Luck

How about taking walks as a family? Now that it is getting warmer out that is an option. Any exercise is better than no exercise and it's teaching your 6 year old the importance of being healthy. There are walking trails by the river in Aurora. I think one starts behind the Lowe's and also there is a peewee football field before 350 that has a walking track around it. Hope that helps!

If your office has stairs use them to go from floor to floor instead of an elevator. Park farther out in the parking lot or farther down the street and walk more steps to the office. When you take a break do wall pushups while wating for the coffee. Three 10 minute a day workouts are just as good as one 30 minute workout. Stretch occasionally while sitting at your desk. Take a small dumbbell to work...do curls while on hold on the phone. You could also check into a workout program like Mommy and Me for you to excercise with your child. If you have a dog, walk the dog with your child. Take a frisbee or play fetch with the dog.

What about getting some equipment at home and working out as a family. Depending on the prices it may be cheaper to buy it instead of paying for a membership. Good Luck.

Hi, I was just on a workout site and one of the trainers suggested what he calls the 10 min workout. He says that everybody has 10 mins right after they wake up,10 mins right before eating lunch, 10 mins before dinner, and 10 mins before going to bed... so that's 40 mins to workout, it's just that it'll be broken up during the day. To make the most of those 10 min blocks, do cardio with light weights for 3 of the blocks (for example if you're at work, you can power walk in place with some light weights for 10 mins). Then with the 10 min block before bed, do a yoga or a pilates set. That should leave some time to spend with your son. Good luck!

I work full time and have 2 kids (13 & 6) and have run into the same conflict. My Daughter goes to bed at 7:30 most evening and if I work out I don't get home until just before she goes to bed. It is hard to take that time away from her. I usually work out only twice a week during the week and then try to go to the gym once on the weekend. That way I only have to be gone 2 evenings per week. If you join a "family" fitness program, I don't think it would be terrible for you to take him just twice a week during the evening. Keep in mind that by doing this you are teaching him that a healthy lifestyle is important. Something that is much easier to teach when they are younger.

Another possibility would be for you and your husband to "trade" times (one of you go work out and the other stay home, then switch). This would mean one of you would be working out earlier and the other later in the evening, but you could trade off which of you works out first so neither of you is stuck always working out late.

There is no easy way to budget your time. You just have to set priorities and then learn to live with them. I wouldn't make working out the lowest priorty though. Because we teach our children more by example than we ever do by what we tell them.

Hi. I have an 18-month old daughter and a second child on the way. I totally understand you don't want to take one second away from your baby, I feel the same way! I know this may not be what you want to hear, but I do get up early 3 days a week and workout (I elliptical at home before work while she is asleep), plus work full time. It is very hard in the beginning, but gets easier with time. My husband now gets up twice a week to work out so there is more family time in the evening. Also, try some kid friendly activities in the evening with your child. My daughter thinks it is funny when I hula-hoop around her or even do squats. Walking around the neighborhood with your child in a stroller is also a great option. Another thing you can do is turn on the radio and dance with your child. You can burn lots of calories and be spending quality time too!

Just try to start yourself slowly and don't push too hard to quick. Once you get into a routine you'll love it! Also, if you do things at home rather than a gym you won't have to worry about the travel time. Good luck to you!!

Instead of spending on a gym membership, how about spending on a treadmill or other workout machine? You can often get used ones that have been barely used at a great discount! That way you could at least be together in the same room as your son and watch a show together or talk or something while you work out.

Why not work out with your son? Days are getting longer now and it's not quite dark at 6 pm. Go for a power walk and challenge your son to out walk you. Let him race you to the end of the block or to the next building, whatever. Take your husband along too!!! Exercise is not just for adults. Kids need to build muscle just like we need to. 75-100 years ago exercise was the same as work. They got their exercise by working their tails off in the garden, scrubbing the laundry, etc. Where do you think their kids were? Right next to them , working their tails off too, only the kids thought (and still do) it was fun!! Play with your son and get some exercise too!! Sign him up for soccer and then volunteer to help coach. Kids love it when coaches dribble around the field with them and that is exercise for you!!! You can do this!!! Yes you can and I'm proud of you for wanting to try!!

What time do you get off of work. If you get off early enough you could go right after work and then pick up your son. When I work depending on what time I go in I will take them to daycare early or let them stay later then I work so I can get my workout time in. Good luck

Oh I so understand how you feel. I have an 18 month old and just got back into working out not long ago. Friends of ours were getting rid of a treadmill so we took it and put it in our basement with an old t.v. I never thought I'd use it. But now, after my son goes to bed, I hit it and veg out with t.v. shows that are mindless and pass the time. For me, it is great. I also have been going to the gym to do weights but again, after my son goes to bed. I completely understand not wanting to be away from your son when you see them so little each day as it is. I agree with the person who suggested that you'll be able to get out more with the time change and hopefully, better weather. The one thing I'd keep in mind is that your health is really important (to you and your son) - physical and mental and emotional... and exercise helps all of those. Good luck!