Wont Stay in His Own Bed

We put up a baby gate in my son's doorway. I could still hear him, he could still see us, but he couldn't leave his room. Yes there were a couple of tearful nights at the baby gate, but we would just telll him we love him and that it's night-night time and he would eventually get back in bed and go to sleep. Good Luck!

Get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth (Paperback - April 12, 1999)from Amazon .com. This dr is amazing - he is a pediatric sleep specialist in Chicago that was my sister's pediatrician. At your son's age, he should be in his own bed, if there is nothing else going on with him. It is not easy letting your child cry himself to sleep. But, read this book, follow his direction completely, and within 2 weeks you will have a much happier child.

Try asking him why he doesn't want to sleep in his own bed. It sounds like he's afraid. It's common for kids this age to develop "boogeyman" fears. If that's the case try getting a special stuffed animal (or action figure, bracelet, sticker, whatever your kid likes. Get creative) to be his special "guard" at night or give your son an empty spray bottle with "magic monster spray" and have him "chase" away all the "monsters" in room before he goes to bed. My 3 1/2 yr old daughter thinks this is fun and if she wakes up in the middle of the night and gets scared, she often gets her "magic spray", re-sprays her room and then goes back to bed. Get creative! Try giving him a sticker on a chart for every night he goes to sleep on his own without a battle (but don't bribe him). Or simply try laying with him or sitting in his room until he gets drowsy or falls asleep. I don't agree with locking your child in his room or spanking him for getting up at night. This only teaches your child that you won't always respond to his needs. The fears and insecurities will only get worse. It's not fair to ignore a child just because we think their fears are irrational. To a child their fears are very real. Yes, be firm if you don't want him sleeping in your bed, kids will come up with all sorts of excuses for not going to bed but remember he is probably afraid so don't simply ignore him or let him cry it out. You're the adult, set firm betime limits. One drink of water, two books, a kiss from daddy and then lights out (or whatever your routine is). If your child starts to ask for things (like my daughter does, I need another glass of water.... I need something to eat.... I need a Ferrari.... etc) simply to explain to him that it's time for bed, reaasure him and let him fuss for a minute. You're the adult and he will eventually learn that he can't weasel his way out of it. If all else fails, take comfort in the fact that this is only a stage and he WILL grow out of it. I know what you're going through so I hope this helps!

Could you maybe start the transistional stage again? Like put a toddler bed in your room or a pallet made out of blankets for him to sleep on; that way he's in your room, comforted and secured you're near him but still independent of you. And then, perhaps, after a little while, move the bedding a little farther away. Continue to do this until he's in he's own room again. Maybe even buy some new sheets of his favorite character/toy/TV show/movie/etc... that might excite him to go sleep in his own bed.

Also, like some others have said, maybe you could just lay with him in his own bed in his room until he's asleep.

(my 3 yr. old still sleeps with us along with our 10 mth old son :D)

My son turned 3 in August and slept with us until he was 2 and 1/2. At that age I decided he was old enough to sleep in his own toddler bed and none of us were getting any rest. I read and followed the book Solving your Child's Sleep Problems and it worked! It was hard at that age and there were sleepless nights and screaming, but within weeks he was in his own bed. I had to implement a bedtime (8), and routine (bath, 2 books, prayers, good night) never straying. However, he just recently started coming in our room in the morning at 3,4, or 5 a.m. and we are too exhausted to walk him back even though I know it's for the best. One change that could be prompting this is that he knows in January he's going to be a big brother! I know I need to kick his habit sooner than later because the older they are the harder it is to establish the routine. Believe me, the new baby will not sleep with us! I am going to try the sleep training as early as possible this time!

Don't get angry w/him! my son is "5" and I still can't get him in his own bed, he has a sister who is 8 and he wants to sleep in her room on the floor w/a sleeping bag and have the tv on, then late at night he like sleepwalks (i guess) and gets in my bed! w/me and my husband, by then it is so late at night half the time we don't even know he got in the bed!
my son has his own room w/bunk beds and he won't sleep in there by him-self! my mom thinks i should just lock him in his room but I don't want to do that! I guess eventually he will get in his own bed! I think he is scared of his bedroom!....
Good Luck ! ~

Well my son is 3 now, and truthfully, he did not sleep in in own bed until recently. We just wanted to always be close to me. Just let him, its a phase, maybe he sences that he is getting older and that he is not a baby anymore. But this to shall pass. Don't worry, enjoy your togetherness he will be grown before you know it.

Hi-

We had the same issue with our 2 1/2 year old, around the time when she really understood that I was pregnant. I think it was cognitive development of being alone and/or the changes that she was understanding. Look for any changes in his life that might be a change or something for him and talk to him about it as well.
Our ultimate solution was: leaving the door open, letting her walk up to me seeing that I was doing something really boring (reading) and that I was available and near by. The very best of the solutions we had to implement was putting a gate on her door of her bedroom (room being childsafe completely). While we won't keep it on forever (probably take it off in a year or so), right now it has been an wonderful solution and she likes the comfort of feeling safe in her room. We also know that she is safe and not walking around the house. Not all children are this way though. My friend used a playpen as a punishment for getting out of bed and that did not work for us. She actually asked for it!
Also, reading "Solving Your Child's Sleep Habits" was VERY helpful in explaining their behaviors, sleep patterns, and solutions. We also stopped letting her get in our bed in the morning (at all for sleeping) and that helped too.

It is SO hard when they get out of bed constantly, don't get their sleep, and you don't get your's either. Try to your BEST to treat your child like a baby when he's having these issues as he's just a little child dealing with a fear and looks to you to help. Getting upset or frustrated will absolutely only hurt, not help.

I wish you the very best.

Stick to your guns. NEVER give in. Even if it means staying up all night for a couple of nights. Once you give in, he learns that you do have a limit, and after he pushes you past it he wins. He learns that if he throws a fit long enough he will get what he wants. You have to prove to him that he is going to stay in his own bed no matter what. I know it will be hard until he gets it, but he WILL get it. I promise. You have to teach him that you are the boss and no amount of screaming or crying is going to change your mind. Good luck.

C., I had the same problem with my 5 year old. I had put him in the bed with me when he was a new born because he stopped breathing and i wanted to keep a close eye on him. Well i about never got him out of my bed i started trying to make him sleep in his own room and that didn't work. You are probably like me i can't stand to hear my children cry it breaks your heart. Well anyway i found something that worked for me. I made a little pallet on the floor next to my bed and told him to sleep there. Yes he would get up after we all went to sleep and get in our bed but when you feel him getting in your bed just look at him and tell him no no that is your bed on the floor you are getting to big to sleep with mommy and daddy and put him back on his pallet give him a kiss and tell him night night. He will learn over time where he sleeps and after he get use to that gradually move the pallet closer to him room and before long you will be able to get him in his bed.. It will take sometime but it should work.. It will not be over when he gets in his bed you will still have the times where he wants to sleep with you and what i do on that is when he is sick i will let him sleep with me. When he is better it is time for his big boy bed.
I hope i helped a little
B.

Hi C.,
I'm not sure if this is up your alley but, here goes: Have a sleep over. Or, stay up all night in his room playing or reading. When he wakes up during the night & sees you are still there, he will feel reassured and safe & maybe go back to sleep without much trouble. If this seems to work have a sleepover with him once in awhile, sometimes a cousin is a good sleepover pick. The more you spend time with him in his room doing things that are comforting to him, the more he may think his room is a good comfort zone. It is a psycological idea, it may work. He will eventually grow out of this, you must not allow it to continue or it will get wierd for you and him.

I too have a 3 year old. We let him watch a video while he lays in bed. We are fortunate that he falls asleep during this. However, our 5 year old doesn't. We allow him to watch a video also but when it is over he has to go to sleep. You might want to try starting bedtime routine about 15 minutes early each night. Read him a book and let him have some warm milk. I know it's hard for me to jump from one thing to another and maybe your son can trasition slowly from play time to bedtime. Hope this helps.

Hey,
It's funny, my daughter will be 3 in February too. The 11th. I wonder what your son's b-day is? Well, she hates being alone in any room, awake or asleep. I'll put her to bed everynight in her room but she comes into my room around 1 or so. I used to let her in my bed but I can't stand that because then I don't get any sleep so I made a stack of blankets on the floor next to my bed and now she knows she has to sleep down there and she does. At first she cried a little but now she just walks in and goes back to sleep on the floor. I wish she'd stay in her room but it is a solution for now. Good luck, S.

I agree with the other mom. Stay firm. You may have a week or two of 2 hour bedtime fights, but it is worth it in the end. We do bedtime, and my son thinks of every excuse to get out of bed. But we insist that he stay in his bed. It gets easier over time. On special occasions, he's allowed to fall asleep with us, or in our bed with the tv, and of course he can get up to potty. But it does get easier over time.