Won't Stay in Bed All Night!

I have six year old twins that have shared a bed since they were about 3. My girls would get up in the middle of the night and crawl in bed with me too. When my husband was deployed I didn't care. I was and still am a stay at home mom. I did everything you did, and sometimes it would work and sometimes it wouldn't. So I ended up putting up a gate in the doorway. That way if they got up, they wouldn't wonder around the house and get into anything, and wouldn't crawl into my bed. I could still hear them, and got up to do the potty thing, but they went right back to bed afterwards. I'm a supper nanny fan too. :) Hope this helps a little.

Wow! Just wanted to say I understand, I have a 2 1/2 year old son who does the same thing...every night! As soon as we moved him from his crib. I also have tried the repeated trips back to bed but now I lay a pillow on the flor next to my bed and that is where he lays down , I get my bed back and he is happy. Not the best of situations but I need sleep too! I guess he will grow out of this phase. He does the same thing when visiting his dad on the weekends so I know Its not just me or my house! Hang in there I feel your pain :)

Hmm... I was hoping to see if I can "Kramer" in on your query as we are encountering the very same thing in our house.

My daughter wakes up at 3 or 4a in the morning and will stay up for hours!!! She hangs in her room...talking to all her animals; she hasn't figured out how to open the door with the childproof knob. Nevertheless, we can hear her...playing throughout the night, and then she is a bear the next day as she obviously is not getting enough sleep.

We have followed the super nanny method, and getting her to bed for naps and night time is much better. She actually stays in the bed at that point, and tries to go to sleep with success; it is just her staying asleep that is the problem.

I just don't understand why some nights she is out of the bed playing, and others she sleeps through the night. It is very exhausting.

I feel your pain. I hope like the other ladies mentioned that this will pass. We are not sure what more we can do as we have been putting her back to bed...no loving on her...no words...just back in the bed, and within mins....she is chatting it up in there again. We removed the animals...but they have such creative imaginations that they "invent" things to talk to and play with.

My best...from one sleepless mama to another (-:

We used a baby gate over the doorway just high enough they could not climb on it and low enough they could not go under it. Mind you, the bar part of the gate was on the outside away from them..thus no foot hold.

I have two children; son 8 yrs old and daughter 4 years old:

We would hear them get up and start playing with toys. After a few minutes, we would go in (without talking to them, of course) and lay them back in bed then quietly pick up the toys. We made sure to put on soft radio music as well. If they called out to us, we would wait for a few minutes to see if they would figure it was time to sleep and if not, then we did the putting back into bed routine. Sometimes we said night-night to let them know it was long sleeping time and not play time.

My daughter (who is now 4 yrs old) was the worse culprit at getting out of her toddler bed to play. It was so hard to be upset when she smiled this huge grin at you, giggle, and run/crawl away towards the opposite well. We made sure we kept a neutral face but still..she was too cute!! To this day, she does not get out of bed even when she is scared, though we told her if she ever needed us, had to potty, or became scared she could..go figure.

Good luck and it will pass.

J.

Hello B.,

I just wanted to say...don't beat yourself up about him getting into bed with you, there are several parents who share beds now-a-days. There isn't anything at all wrong with it, to-each-their-own, is what I say.

Our son has been in his little toddler bed since he was about 13 months old. He loves it, and he hated his crib. Each child is different, as is each parent. I think you're doing a great job, and being a single parent is even harder....Good luck to you!! :o)
~S.

Just keep doing what you are doing..it will work sooner or later, probably later. My 2 boys are 16 & 19 now & they never want to get out of bed!!lol. But my daughter has just started the same thing again with her 4 yr old daughter. She si getting the same thing you get. About 3 every morning she gets in bed with my daughter again!!Maybe the 2 of you should talk about it. You could probably give each other advice!!

Our doctor told us that it has become a habit now...he suggested that we put a pallet on the floor and tell DD that if she is giong to continue getting up and coming to our room then she has to sleep there on the floor. She will not sleep in the bed with M & D. It eventually worked-she got tired of sleeping in the floor-just be careful when you get up in the morning so you don't step on him! :) HTH

Okay this is going to sound very cruel and probably alot of mom's are going to think I am awful but it worked and in no way was my daughter in any danger. Around 18 months or so she began getting out of her bed and coming into my room 2 or 3 times a night. The problem was not always that she would wake me up. Sometimes she would sneak in and lay at the end of my bed with out dog and by the time I knew she was there she was freezing. I tried rewards threats and everything I could think of and nothing worked. She has a lock on her door and at the time it locked from the inside I turned it around so that it would lock from the outside. For the first week or so she would get out of bed and try to get out of her room when she couldn't she would lay down on the floor by the door and go to sleep and I would move her later. Eventually she would go back to her bed and now she hasn't even gotten out of her bed at all during the night except the couple of times that she has truly needed to go potty. I know it sounds awful but it works and now I don't even lock her door and she still stays there. I know this was long but I think it works. I hope this helps and I hope you don't think I am an awful mother.

In my experience with 3 boys 2 is to young to switch to a bed. It seems from reading some of the posts that no one has ever hear of a crib tent. I use them on my cribs from the time they are tiny so they will always be used to it and you never know when they start standing up in the crib when you are not looking and could fall out. the crib tent keeps them in and trust me they work I have a very obnoxious 5 and 3 year old and the crib ten has been great when they are fighting going to sleep and we just put them in bed and zip it up. they are pricey but worth it and are gaurenteed if they break you get a free replacement. you can also buy them on Ebay and other online sites cheaper.

Put him back in the crib and use a crib tent. he wont fall or climb out then. and tell him when he is ready to stay in his bed then you will try again. I LOVE THE CRIB TENT and have used it for all 3 boys. my 3 year old still sleeps in a crib with the tent because he is hyper active and a terrible sleeper and plus he really loves his crib. he is safer in there than running around at night while we are sleeping. My 5 year old was trained to use a bed the same way, we told him. if you get out of your big boy bed then you will sleep in the crib and we will try again the next night. so if he got out of the bed we put him in the crib (using the crib tent) and told him we love you but we will try again tomorrow. and you have to stick to your guns. if they smell weakness then you have lost the battle.

a few days of this and it will work i promise!!!

I always transition to a bed at nap times. using the bed at nap and if they get out of the bed then you put them in the crib and say we will try again tomorrow and if you get out of your bed then you go back in the crib.

I think 3 is a better age but it depends on the maturity of the child. Girls are usually better at going to a bed earlier than boys. they grow up to fast any way so keeping them in a crib a little longer wont hurt. We dont have to rush them to be big :0)

Wow sound like my house! We moved our 2 1/2 year old into a big girl bed in December. She did wonderful for a couple of months now she get out during naps and at night. I tried everything and nothing seemed to work. Until I broke out the old baby gate. I show her that I am putting it up and if I forget she reminds me now. It seems to work great. I have only been using it for a couple of weeks, but it does keep her in her bed.

Just thought I would chime in on the "you're not alone" phrase! I put my son in his big bed at 2 and he got up every night several times a night, then would stop for a few nights or even a week, then start again. He is 3 now and b/c of potty trng. we are still getting up at night. Our pedi said they do it b/c they can, new freedom and new ability, just stick to your guns about him not sleeping in your bed and they eventually grow out of it. I have not found anything to stop it either (diet changes, door handle covers, gates - it was suggested to put a lock on the outside of the door but I am against that, rewards worked for a little while). I wish it would be sooner than later but until then I just got a better under eye concealer! Good luck!

B.,
I think I would look at how long his nap is during the day at daycare. If it is a private daycare he may be taking too long of a nap. Maybe there is something waking him up ie: constant noise, bad dream. You sound like you are doing the right thing the only other thing I could think of his is sleeping habits during the day. Check with his daycare, maybe his nap is too late in the day, or too long.
Good Luck,
A.

There could be various reasons contributing to your little guy getting up at night- if he is just wanting to play I would suggest trying a gate across his door. A gate gives boundaries (similar to a large crib) where he can be safe but not disturb other people (ie you). He may play in his room for a while, even for a few nights but hopefully he will get board and go back to sleep.
Since you work, he may be attention seeking- the gate may work for this too, but he may just need to be close to you. Have you tried offering him an alternative place to sleep close to you, but not in your bed? My daughter will sleep in a pack-n-play beside our bed if she wakes up and wants to be close- it beats having her twisting around in my bed, but still gives her the security she is looking for, especially right now as she seems to be waking up from dreams and some nightmares. My sister offered her kids a sleeping bag on the floor when her children went though a similar phase. Try to figure out what he wants/is getting by getting up at night... attention, comfort, is he lonely, afraid, or just wants to play? His motivation can tell you if you should handle it with firmness (stay in your room) or comfort (you can sleep in my room but with boundaries, sleep in brothers room) etc. Good luck! I know I have a hard time being a great mom at 2am- I hope things settle down soon.

Both of my kids did this, daughter still does sometimes. What helped for us, was 1.have them go pee right before bed. 2. remind them they get one out of bed freebie with a warning, if they get out of bed one more time they lose a favorite toy for two days each time the get out. Make sure you follow through with whatever you say.

There was one time, my daughter lost all her favorite stuffed animals, her big girl pillow, and her big girl blanket. She finally realized she had better settle down and go to bed. We also had to change the amount of time she sleeps as well as her bedtime, both play a factor in how fast a child will go to sleep.