Won't Stay Asleep Once Put in Crib to Nap

I nursed both of my girls to sleep until they were about 9 months old. Both for naps and bedtime.
We never had any sleep issues with either child and I look back on those moments now as the happiest times of my life. My girls always fell asleep happy and contented, no tears, no fussing. Once they were about 3 months old they were sleeping about 6 hours at a stretch, and I would nurse them back to sleep for 3-4 hours more. A good night's sleep for all involved.
They are 6 and 4 years old now. I can honestly say that both girls have always been good sleepers. Not a problem between them. We never had to "cry it out".
I attribute their good sleep habits to the fact that they had a need for love and attention at bedtime while they were babies, I fulfilled that need. Therefore they no longer needed me to get them off to sleep.
At 5 weeks old, your baby is still new to this world. Everything is new, big and scary. He needs your comforting presence to feel at ease. Give him what he needs- and he will no longer need it.
-S.

At such a young age, they seldom want to nap in the crib alone since they are so used to the curled up rocking of mommy's womb. It is much easier to get them to nap in a sling, swing, or stroller when they are newborns. My son didn't sleep in his crib for naps until he was a few months old.

I nursed my son to sleep until he was 5 MONTHS old. He would sleep in his crib only once he was completely out. 5 weeks old is way too young to expect your child to put himself to sleep. Its also way too young for any kind of "sleep training" (god, i hate that term, its a child, not a dog!), so putting him down while drowsy is pointless. For once I actually agree with Llowell: listen to your baby, not books!

My 2nd had trouble laying flat for the first 5-6 mos because she was always stuffed up. I had to use a bouncy or have her nap/sleep in the car seat. I didn't care, as long as she (and I) got some sleep! Now she's an EXCELLENT crib sleeper and goes down for naps and bedtime very easily.

Do what you need to do to get him to stay asleep and don't worry about forming habits right now. Good luck!!

B.

This happened with my 2nd and she wanted to be held all the time. I ended up taking a bath towel and heated in the dryer, I put that down first and then layed her on that and she went right out. I think that we are nice and warm and comfort for them so it goes to stand putting them down on a cold bed or mattress is yucky! Good luck hope it helps.

I'd say he's just not mature enough to self-soothe to sleep at this point. My son is 11 wks old and he has not fully gotten the hang of it yet either. Iknow some babies can do this at an early age but if it's not working then I'd just try again in a while and for now- soothe him to sleep as you normally would.

There are two really good books that can help The happiest Baby on the Block and the Baby Whisperer good lcuk

Oh my dear A.. Those books are NOT bibles. They are the opinion of the person who wrote them.
Granted you may find many good and applicable hints in them but please, do not take every word as gospel truth.
Use your heart and your common sense.
If you have a baby who needs to be cuddled to sleep then do it.
Being the best mother is one who is in tune with what her baby needs individually. Every baby is different ....ask me, I had seven.
Each feeds differently on different schedules. Each sleeps differently with their own needs . Each needs a different sort of comforting.
For your own peace of mind, listen and observe your infant.
Meet that child's needs in the manner they require.
At five weeks there is little chance of "spoiling" him.
Babies cannot be spoiled by loving, nurturing, or comforting.
(That comes later by over indulgences.hehehe)
Hold your baby until he is asleep and then put him in his crib. On his tummy with his head turned to the side .
Or on his side with a tiny blanket rolled up and tucked by his back.
It's been my experience that babies seldom sleep their best when on their backs.
Check on him frequently .
Feed him when he is hungry. Nurse him when he needs comforting.
Relax and totally enjoy your baby.
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

Your baby needs to be in a deep sleep before you put him down (look for "limp arms"). This may take up to 20 minutes at this age. I agree with the other ladies, let him sleep on you, he needs that closeness and attachment from his mother at this age. Check out http://askdrsears.com for detailed, informative information from the wise and seasoned Dr. Sears family, they talk all about sleeping and putting your baby down. Good Luck

I would still swaddle him and put a lullaby on to get him used to sleeping in his crib. Might take a bit of getting used too.

Hi A., When my first was born 18 years ago, they told us to put the baby on his belly to sleep (supposedly to prevent chocking if he was to spit up through the night) By the time #2 came along the advice changed to laying the baby on her back (reduction of SIDS) so we adjusted, but the baby did not sleep as well. Reading up on it we decided to change her position each time we lay her down as was the advice given to my mother when all of my siblings and I were born. It seemed safer and many kids began to develop oddly shaped heads as a result of the 'only on the back' advice.
My point is you may want to consider a different position to lay the baby down rather than on the back.

Good luck with you little guy!I am sure he is alot of fun!
--Clare Willis
Safer products for your home
www.LiveTotalWellness.com/Arizona

First - congrats on your new precious little one.

I was the same as you - I read a lot of books and tried to consider all the advice. My Mom kept telling me not to worry about it - they are only little and need you for such a short time you need to respond to their needs. Anyway, for the first several months I often would nurse her to sleep for her naps and bedtime. And she rarely napped in the crib until she was at least six months old. I would lay down with her on my bed and nurse, and then leave her there surrounded by pillows once she drifted off. It was so peaceful. She also napped a lot in the moses basket in the beginning when she was little like your son - I think the closeness of it would comfort her. Believe it or not I used to just leave it right out in the dining room amidst all the noise! And the swing was a great place for her to nap especially the late afternoon/early evening nap when she was fussy and nothing else would work. So she would rotate all around for naps, though she always went n the crib at night once she was sound asleep (swaddled - we swaddled her for her night time sleep but not her naps). We often used a pacifier as well once she had finished nursing or her bottle if someone else was putting her down.

All that to say that somewhere when she was over six months old and beginning to move around too much I started napping her in the crib and it went really smoothly. Then around 10 months we stopped the pacifier and that too went smoothly. She stopped all daytime nursing around 8-9 months, the bedtime nursing around 11 months and gave up her morning nursing at just about a year. I was sad and now i pump just twice a day to give her a little of the good stuff. She still takes two bottles a day - one before her nap and one at bedtime but neither in her crib. That will be the next thing we transition out of...

At 22 months, my little girl now goes in for naps like a little champ, after a few stories and bottle, full awake and falls asleep herself and same at bedtime, so she totally learned how to go to sleep on her own. All my fears about sleep were unfounded.

Anyway, it sounds like you are doing a great job and I agree that you must follow your instinct and always sooth your baby when he needs you. He simply relies on you for everything at this point. Congrats & good luck.

Do what you think is right, don't listen to those books all the time, they are for suggestions. He is only 5 weeks old. I don't think my son fell asleep unassisted until he was 6 months old or older. I always rocked him to sleep. So this is perfectly normal and i'm sure you will hear from other moms who will say the same thing. Some babies need rocking, some need a pacifier, some need a full belly, some need you to run their back, some need you to sing, etc. They are just learning how to go to sleep on their own, but never feel bad about soothing your baby to sleep. When he gets a little older he will get the hang of it. Best to you and your little ones.

Try swaddling him in a blanket. The happiest baby on the block author Dr Harvey Karp swears it will help with fussiness and sleeping. It is recommended up to 3 months old. The book or dvd is worth getting.

Best wishes

Hi A.,
I'm with the other moms who say let him fall asleep on you at this stage. He needs the comfort, warmth, and sound of you. My sister-in-law calls the first three months "the fourth trimester" because the baby is so attached to mama and helpless at this stage.
Best,
D.

Hi A.-

I would highly recommend that you get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It is full of great advice. You are doing the right thing by comforting your newborn when he cries. I also think that heading in the direction of establishing naptime and bedtime cues will help him to learn that it is time to sleep in his crib. Good Luck!

My son had hte same issue.. till he was six months old WOULD not sleep in his own for naps.. The only thing that worked for us was when he was 6 months old we could lay him on his tummy.. and he would sleep in seconds not crying.

My son was the same way. He'd fall asleep in my arms and sleep well if I nursed him in bed but never on his own until he could roll over and sleep on his belly. Then he made me nuts because he couldn't roll back and often I'd find him face down in the crib, but after a couple of weeks he had enough strength to roll back or turn his head, so it was short lived panic! Anyways, he could be transitioned and put into a swing for all his naps and all night. First we had a small A-frame travel type we put in his Arms Reach co-sleeper till he was about 2 months old and then we had one of those papasan-type ones that he used until he was 5 months old, when he could then roll over and has fallen to sleep every night since on his belly. He's now 22 mo. I think they almost need the motion and the sound, as it is similar to the womb and these little ones are still so in the dark with their eyesight and hearing that they find great comfort and the tick-tick and motion of the swing. I was afraid I was building a bad habit, but he's a great sleeper with a 1.5-3 hour nap now and will sleep 10-12 hours straight at night (since I stopped nursing at night around 7 mo.). He took 3 naps a day till he was 1. My advise would be to use a swing, I don't know what we would have done without it!

He's too little to be put down awake. I nursed my boys to sleep until 5/6 months my oldest was always a great sleeper but my youngest not so much :( I say either a bottle/bf to sleep burp, swaddle, and then lay down in his bed. I always found young babies sleep better in a bassinet then a crib I think they like the comfort of the small bassinet they can use it until they start sitting so if you have one I recommend using it.

Hi A.,
I think it's hard because he's still really young. However, I did the same approach as you. The Baby Whisperer says "start as you mean to go on", so you know that eventually, he will be able to stay asleep by putting thim down the way you have been. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth is another good resource. I think under 4 months, his biggest message is to do whatever it takes to get him to sleep. You won't be forming habits yet as he's too young. So if he sleeps in your arms...and you know he really needs to sleep because he's been up for a couple of hours...it's ok to continue to hold him so he can sleep. You could try "wearing" him so you can have your hands free to do other things, especially since you have another child to care for. But really, if it was me, I would go back to what you were doing...putting down drowsy...because there will come a time that it will work.

Hi A.. Just a suggestion....don't read too many of the "sleep books". Go with your intuition. At five weeks old your baby wants and needs to be as close to you a possible, and will sleep much better if he can smell your scent and feel your body close to him. Of course you can't nap next to him all day long...maybe a sling will work for those cat naps. Also my son napped great in his swing, that way he could still sense me near by and hear my voice. Just some thoughts! Good luck. And again watch out for too much advise from the parenting books....you are a woman and mother and you have a lot of the answers unique to your baby inside you already!

I wasn't able to do this until I sleep trained my son at 4 mths...until then it was just hold til asleep, wake up, repeat...good luck!

one thing it could be is that on you, your all nice and cuddly warm and then you put him down and the sheet is cold. try to put a blanket between you and the baby and then when you put him down take the blanket with you - that way he's still on his warm spot.

also, when he's on you, he's probably on his belly, and then when you put him down are you putting him on his back? i found it was always easier to put them down on their side. and i put a blanket roll behind them to keep from rolling on their back.

and are you still swaddling? when the baby was asleep on me, i would drape a blanket (with the corner down) across their shoulders. then when i went to lay them down, i took the bottom "wing" and brought it up, and then took the top wing brought it down and tucked it under. so that they were wrapped up.

one thing i can say, is that my son was my second too and i was too afraid to let him cry, for fear of waking my daughter up (their rooms are right next to each other) so i always rocked him to sleep. by 6 mos he was waking up every 1 - 1.5 hours all night long b/c he'd move position and then not know how to get himself back to sleep.

1 night of cry it out made a dramatic difference. altough 5 weeks may be a bit young... it's good practice. i'd say by 8-10 weeks he should be able to do it.

Good for you for trying... I don't think I even attempted it when my kids were that little! I had 1 kid who learned to fall asleep on her own easily, and 2 others that took a long time. Each child is different. But like someone else said, my kids slept better once they slept on their bellies. Once they got into that habit, I would just lay them down on their bellies. (I still do that if my twins fall asleep in the car... and they're 2 1/2 now!) I'm not suggesting you do that NOW. But once your son starts to roll, IF he chooses to sleep on his belly, you could try laying him down that way & see if it helps.
For now, keep doing what you're doing.... you won't know if putting him down drowsy will work for him unless you try!

Hi A., Yes, i think your son is still to young for you to expect him to fall asleep on his own every time. They really still need your warmth and comfort at such a young age. it is just such a survival instint for them so young and may take another month or so to establish a trust. be patient! HJ

At this early point it is too early to try to get your baby to fall asleep on his own, in the crib. I have read that it is best to not worry about naps in the crib, on a schedule until he is 5 or 6 months old. For now, I have read it will save you a lot of trouble to just let him fall asleep in your arms and then have him sleep in a carseat or swing for naps and a bassinet for nighttime.

if you have the time (as may be tricky with another older child) I would hold the baby, wear the baby in a sling for the first few months - it helps establish easy sleep habits and closeness to you. once the baby is very asleep in the sling you can put baby & sling down in crib/bassinet at the same time. this was the silver bullet with my second - she was in the sling for 4 months!

i agree with the putting down when drowsy and not asleep (but for my family this kicked in after about 3 months)

good luck!