Won't Go to the Potty!

Hi A.,

So sorry to hear about your little girl!! My son has constipation issues as well and we give him Miralax as needed. The doctor said that he could have it on a daily basis, or as needed and it would not hurt him. We have struggled with this for almost 1 1/2 yrs and now it's under control. He had Miralax almost daily for a while and it helped tremendously. Now if my son doesn't have a bowel movement every other day, I know that he is needing some Miralax to help him go. So, perhaps instead of weaning your daughter off Miralax altogether, you could possibly try giving it to her every couple of days or of course as needed. It won't hurt her any to have it and why not to stop her from being in pain or fearful of going potty. I wish you and your daughter the best of luck!!

A.,
Hello! WE are having the same problem with our almost 4 year old son and we have found something that is working to some extent. Our son is a peeing pro but he would not do the other on the potty. He is also on Miralax.
My sister in law gave us an idea which has been working. It is a couple of steps so it is a longer process but.... The first thing is to get them to go #2 in the bathroom whether they go in their diaper, underwear, or pullup. They have to do it in the bathroom because that is where everyone does #2. Have a reward system set up. We have a calendar and whenever he goes #2 in the bathroom he gets a sticker and at the end of the day he gets to pick out of a bag that has things I bought from the $1 store. The next step is to then get them to sit on the potty when they are going but still in a diaper or whatever they are comfortable in..now rewarding for that action and then move to rewarding for actually going in the potty without underwear or diaper.
We have been doing this for about 2 weeks. Our son took to going in the bathroom and doing his business right away. This week he has actually gone a few times in the potty without us saying anything. So it may be working!!
Just an idea. Hope something helps. It has been a frustrating scary process for us. I hate when he has trouble going. He even has trouble sometimes with the Miralax. Time will tell though.
Good luck.
M.

My 2 year old daughter is going thru this as well (was up most of the night with her screaming "poop!")
We noticed that it is not a good idea to get rid of the Miralax all together, but on a as needed basis. We also monitor her dairy intake and water down her juice. I found a fairly new product that seems to help. I forgot the name of it, but it is Gummie Bear chewable fiber (for kids). I found it at Meijer. It was not in the vitamin section, or the child section. It is located by the pharmacy in the laxative section. (the pharmacist help me locate it the first time). My daughter loves them and the only problem I have is her always wanting more than what I am allowed to give her! Good luck! I will review any other comments you receive just in case I'm missing something too!

Has the doctor gone over her diet with you. Perhaps you should see a nutrionist. Your daughter should be going at least once a week and perhaps a change to her diet would help. Otherwise she might end up with hemeroids from staining so much.

Hi A..
I understand some of what you're experiencing. My daughter also will not poop on the potty - she will however either poop in her underwear or ask for a pullup. I would try giving her foods high in fiber, and have her drink prune juice or eat prunes. Maybe let her see you poop on the potty and show her it doesn't hurt when you let it come out? Maybe put a chart up so she gets a "prize" every time she poops? I hope these ideas help, and I hope your little girl is able to poop soon!
M.

Make sure you are feeding her fruit, like raisins and prunes also, so that when she is off the Miralax she will still be able to go easily. Carbonated drinks, cheese and milk products are constipating, so cut those back. It could be that if it takes any time to go, she just doesn't want to sit there that long.

Leave her on the Miralax!!!! The main reason she's not wanting to go on the potty is because she associates it with hurting and no matter how much you explain it to her, she's not going to understand that whole concept just yet. So, in turn you have to do whatever it takes to make her movements as soft as you can until she does this for like 6 months. We have used Miralax for years, it IS NOT habit forming like people will say, they don't understand what it does if they say this!!!! Having her hold it like that can only cause major problems, long term as well. So, keep this up and it will get better.

i had the same problem with my daughter she would only go once a week and i had to force her she had that problem up until about 6mnths ago when she turned 5 i would tell you if the medicine makes her go and its not hard and like adult poop to keep using until she realizes its not a bad thing my daughter was on miralax from the time she was about 2 till she turned 5 all i can say is hang in there i know its hard good luck

Hi A., I am so sorry your daughter has to go through this. I know all to well how heartbreaking this can be. My son has had issues with his bowl movements for years. When he was 4 he was so backed up he had to have to enemas (spelling). Now he has been on miralax for severl years. I know when I forget a dose because he gets backed up as quickly as I stopped it. As much as I hate to give it to him for some many years, its better then seeing him in so much pain going potty. He is now almost seven and still has issues, so until he understands what he needs to eat and make himself go then I will continue the mirlax. I hope this helps you in some way. If you find a better alternativem, please let us know. Good luck!!!

Keep her on the Miralax. Both of my kids have taken it and were on it for quite a while.

A.,

My daughter went through this exact thing, but she started about 14 months old. Your Dr. is right about Miralax. We used 17 grams (a capful) per day- AT THE SAME TIME of day, or at least during the same hour of each day.) At least now it is OTC. We had to go to a Pediatric GI Specialist. One more note- we took it once a day, you might be dosing her 2ce a day… so my details may differ from yours. So anyway, after much heartache on my part (and everyone who was near during her episodes) and a whole lot of pain on hers, and many failed attempts to wean her off of it- with her paying the ultimate price each time, I finally was successful. The Dr and the bottle says it is "non-addictive," but you and any other parent (and child) who are going/has been through it knows better. If it isn't addictive- then why do we need to wean off and do so much suffering? right? Anyway-that is not the issue.

The issue is how to overcome this horrible condition. I hope that all of the people who respond to your post read everyone elses the next day, instead of only those who had responded before them (because I will probably be one of your last responders- i had to write a word document throughout the day while I have been working. Sorry it is so long, but I hope to help others who don't know what to do because- "I have been there- and DONE that."

It is a complicated issue- and I am proud to say that my very brave and strong daughter and I have put this behind us after serveral years of trying various things to end the vicious cycles. Ther ehave been times we had to increase the dosage to get the result we so desperately seeked. I know you can relate.

I am here at Mamasource to educate others about this topic and Selective Mutism (because obvioulsy, it is what my daughter has suffered- and we have it all figured out- Thank GOD! We still thank God daily for bring us through it together! :))

So here are the details about our long journey with constipation and how to overcome it together with your child. I am not sure how long she has had this problem, so I cannot tell you exactly how to go about it, but I will just tell you how we did. Again, I had tried countless times to wean her off of the Miralax, went to several Drs, and had lots of horrible tests done to make sure that this was psychological rather than a medical problem. I followed each Drs. advice/recommendations on how to wean her too many times- so now it was time for me to give my logical way a try- and it is what worked.

If it is a new problem, let her stay on the Miralax for a while. A while- like several years, maybe. Miralax is absorbed through the body before it gets into the blood stream and it draws the fluids from within the body to help moisten the existing dry,hard,and BIG blockage of several days or weeks stool that has accumulated so that it can allow the loose stool behind it to pass, and then break up that large portion into passable amounts. My daughter was on it for a few years. I know that might sound horrible to someone who is not familiar with this grueling condition, but YOU know the degree of pain that your child suffers. It's like their head is literally being cut off. (I had to warn my neighbors 2 doors each way so they didn't call the police at the sounds they were hearing!!) Also, we as mothers (and fathers or other family members who love that child) endure so much pain watching our 'baby' go through this enormous nightmare, day after day, month after month- seeing the horror in our babies eyes....when it is coming....they anticipate it in the scariest of faces and noises...yet, we can not do a damn thing to soothe our baby....and that is the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with as a parent- watching this as a single mom.... no control over this MONSTER controlling my BABIES body. Very emotional indeed. Even now. :'-( Certainly a cause for POST TRAUMATIC DISORDER, which my daughter suffers from because of this condition.

So Drs. say cut back the milligrams after being on it for 6 months (at least that is what I heard several years ago)- week after week, then day to day. And you probably already know- that equals starting all over again- time and time again- nothing accomplished. After years of research on my end, I decided to try a method that made sense to me, because the Drs. could in no way understand that their ideas weren't even close to successful for MY daughter. She was just another kid with a chart, and there obviously weren't any emotional strings to connect my daughter to her doctors, so not enough measure to comfort (or come up with a good way of resolving the issue) was taken in my opinion.

I had a plan.... I wrote out a chart, and planned for it to be a very gradual thing, that my daughter was not aware of (because part of it is mental). The key for us was to add mineral oil (you can buy it at any store, in the isle for laxatives) to her drinks a couple times a day. I think it was a tablespoon or two. If she wanted strawberry milk, I would give it to her- and a small amount (3-4 ounces) so she would drink it quick. There is some adjustment to it, but tell her that it will make her issue go away- in whatever terms you want to communicate that to her. Make sure you shake it up every couple of minutes, and have her down it as quickly as possible. It is more effective if it isn’t a drawn out hour long process for one dosage. We did one in the am, and one in the pm.

Also, you will want to purchase Benefiber. Also over-the-counter and sold everywhere. It is a terrific product, that- like Miralax- it also dissolves into nothing- odorless, tasteless, and undetected. So figure out how much more fiber your child needs to really keep the BMs healthy, and keep that added into the mix, for a couple of months after the Miralax AND mineral oil are out of the picture.

I then began to drop mgs of the Miralax, 2 mgs per week, (always during the same hour of the day) then once you get down to one third of what she is at now, or somewhere between 5-10 mgs per day, start REALLY paying attention to the time that you give it to her. Here is where it gets tricky. Don’t go down daily any longer- at least not the same way. Now you have to give it to her (for example- normally she drinks the Miralax at 11am) an hour later- and the same dosage, dropping approximate one gram every 3 days. Of course you have to measure it by eye. So what I am saying is let the hours in between start to increase. Day 2 of this phase, give her the Miralax at 12 noon (the shortened amount for 3 days of each approx. measurement). The third day- dose her at 1pm. The forth day- approx 2 mgs less, and another hour later- so at 2 pm. Keep it up on that schedule.

Remember to give her the mineral oil, and to find the amount that works and keeps your child comfortable. Do not reduce the mineral oil until you have been off of the Miralax for a good month. I assume that your child is toilet trained- so you may not know every time she goes to the bathroom, and what the results were- so make sure you ask her daily. I had my daughter NOT flush her BMs so I could keep in mind about what she had in her system, and what she was holding back. Soon you will know exactly what to expect out of her daily (if you don’t already know).

Also- I found it best not to let my daughter in on any details of amounts- or that we were going down and weaning for that matter. Because it is probable that it is a psychological issue to begin with, it’s best that she know as little as possible.

Even when you are off the Miralax, allow her to think she is still having it. Watch over her as you normally do- encouraging her to drink it up. Same with the oil. Continue to shake it like you did when it had plenty of oil. So do it as you reduce the oil. Coming off of the oil is much easier. But do it in a similar way, reducing the times a day to once, then come down slowly- by hours and amount- not days.

Things are coming to mind as I sort of relive the experience is- how I HAD to be in the bathroom with her- and really coach and cheer her on, constantly reassuring her that she could do it. And most of those times, I HAD to hold her in a position, that would not allow her to hold it in. I had to sort of hug her while kneeling in front of her, and force her knees to be up at her chest (like she is squatting). She would fight me as much as she could- but eventually- whatever could come out –did.

Even know- when she struggles, she will squat on the toilet seat (feet on- butt down). Her grandma taught her that sometimes when the BM is too big, and it hurts, that she can press around the area, and that will help the skin pull back and around it, so that area stretches better and less bleeding. That technique has really been a huge help along the way- and still it really helps my daughter these days.

I am not sure if the long-term effects of this very intense problem will taunt my daughter forever- but it sure seems to be. She is 8 now, and she has been off of all laxatives completely for a few years. She still begs for me to come with her to the bathroom sometimes because she is afraid. But as long as she has a regular BM each day, and we keep a high fiber diet, she does do very well. I still ask her if she’s went and when etc… I believe it will traumatize her on some level for a very long time.

I hope you have gotten some good advice from my very long “2 cents” on this very difficult-to-bear- subject.

Please feel free to email me anytime if you have any questions at all. Anyone else is free to contact me on the subject….that is why I am here!

I will be praying for you and your daughter to get through this as best as possible.

A.

Try putting some caster oil in her juice once a night, and also feeding lots of prunes and other foods to clean her out. Also, give her a reward when she does poop on the potty - something she can have only when she accomplishes it. Since these are natural solutions, there is no danger keeping her on them until she is older and begins to understand that she has to go to the bathroom to prevent the pain. The problem with Mirilax is that you don't want to keep her on it indefinitely, but this is the sort of problem that may not clear itself up until she is older, so natural solutions are probably better at this age. I went through this as well. Eventually, she'll figure out the cause and effect and go to the bathroom on her own.

Like the others that responded, my daughter uses Miralax as well. Once we got the initial pain resolved we started giving it to her every couple days, once a day. We explained to her that it is medicine that will help her poop so it doesn't hurt. But if it does hurt when she goes poop she has to tell us so we can make it better.
The doctor told us that this is normal at this age because their digestive systems are still developing some and getting used to the things that she eats and the new things that she has started to eat. We just need to keep an eye on her about this and treat as necessary and eventually everything will adjust itself so she doesn't need the Miralax or anything else.
We also used the dosage the doctor told us at the beginning and then we cut that amount down for just "upkeep".

Hey A.,
I can relate on the poo problems! We still have some issues, but here's a couple of things that have helped some: last time we weened off the miralax we started giving our little guy benefiber in at least one drink a day. we also got a book called "It Hurts When I Poop!: A Story for Children Who Are Scared to Use the Potty" by Howard J., M.D. Bennett and M. S. Weber --It is a story about a little boy who hold his poop in, too. He goes to the Dr. and she tells him a story... then she explains how the body makes poop, there's (very age appropriate) drawings of food being eaten, turning into poop in the intestines and coming out in the potty. Sound a little weird, but Asher was really into this book and explained to us and anyone who would listen how poo gets made. I think it made him more comfortable with what was going on in his body.
We still have issues with him not wanting to go some, but these helped us to not have to do the miralax and suppositories anymore!
-Also, hide and seek works for us when it has been several days and we can tell he's holding it in. I think when he hides he must get relaxed or really excited about what he's doing or something...usually after 2 or 3 rounds he has to rush for a "potty break" or occasionally he doesn't make it and goes in his pants.(but you can probably relate that as long as he poops we're not too upset about where it is!)
Anyway, good luck!! I have to check your other responses to get more ideas too!

A.,
I had the same issue with my daughter and took the same steps as you have. But what really worked was changing her diet. I added higher fiber cereals and more fruit and salad, luckily my daughter loves salad with "wanch" as she would say. I also used Diet Coke. I know, I hated giving her soda, but just that bit of caffeine would make her "do her business". I always tried to give it to her at the same time of the day, in the mornings, to get her on a schedule. Also, get a water bottle that she likes that is marked with amounts, and give her a goal to drink the water. This way she won't have a "hard" time going. It will help her stay more hydrated. My daughter is now 10 and still doesn't always go everyday. But it is much better and she knows what to do now to get herself to go.
Good Luck and hope this helps!

My son did that as well at that age..it lasted months. Turned out the sensations and smells of the b.m. were just too much to handle. Then he wouldn't go, it would get impacted, and going would be even more painful.

I don't remember which product he took at first, it was one of the ones really for adults that you mix in the water. It didn't work, and he started getting Senakot at the maximum dosage for his age/size. After several days he couldn't help but go. Even on the Senakot he still only would go perhaps twice a week for quite some time. Once it got regular I gradually weaned him off, and now of course everything is fine. The whole process took more than half a year though, so don't rush it. Keep your daughter on the Miralax until she is always going on a regular basis. Only then start cutting down, like giving it every other day for a week, then increase it slowly another day. Good luck!

Try giving little one an infant or toddler laxative. You can also try to use natural laxatives such as prune juice or Welches Concord Grape Juice (the dark purple color). Both of those have a lot of fiber in them and tend to cause the runs when 8 oz is consumed... for my kids anyways. My kids absolutely love Welches Concord Grape Juice. I usually have to water it down because it's so strong it causes them to have loose bowels. Also, pineapple tends to do the same thing. It tastes great to kids, so they will eat that pretty easily too. Pineapple juice and orange juice are sometimes found in cocktail drinks. I generally do not suggest young ones drink it, but for this reason I think it could be really helpful.

Hey A.,

Have you tried giving her Prunes or Prune Water, Prunes would be a natural way for her to go potty, it easies her discomfort and also helps her to go potty easily, even now when I am constipated I use Prunes and every time it does the trick. Hope this helps!

I don't know if this may be the case but I remember when my son was little my neighbor had the same problem with her little girl and the doctor found what they call a fischer in her rectum that hurt when she tried to move her bowels. Just a thought

A.,
We had the same problems with our son who is now six. My suggestion for you would be to get your daughter to drink bottle water. We add lemonade drink mixes (you can get them anywhere, Walmart, etc.) to a bottle of water. Colin likes to drink water that way. In turn the water helps loosen his bowls (so it won't hurt to push out)and he goes. He generally will ask for water with drink mix everyday, so no more problems with going to the bathroom! I do hope that does help you, plus it pretty inexpensive.

Hope that helps you. Take care and God bless you.

D. H.

Please, instead of going straight to meds that treat the symptoms try a few things that treat the CAUSE first. Anything fruit that starts with 'P' will make them poop ;) pears, pineapple, prunes, plums.... you get the idea. Also add as much fiber to their (your) diet as you can. Instead of getting cookies try the frosted mini wheats (unless you have an allergy to wheat lol) my daughter loves them. Also try giving them Aloe Vera juice/gel, doesn't taste the best but if you put a tablespoons worth in a glass of OJ or a cup of yogurt most kids can't tell, it helps with digestion and moving food through the body (I use the gel).

I am sorry for your daughter and her non poop problem. I have never had this to happen but I have a granddaughter who also is 3 just past Sunday and she hides in her closet to do her #2 job. I am thinking if you push her to go in the potty chair it may make her afraid to not go poop. I can't imagine going over two days at the most without a poop. Myself I 'think' because as every child is different I thnk I would put a diaper or a pull up on her and make her feel safe to go and just see if that will work. Maybe once a day about the time she would normally go and see if that helps any. Good luck and I know this can really be a concern. You are a good mommy so hang in there and hopefully she will not have to take meds. OH try a teaspoon of Karo in an ounce of warm water and see???

The lady I babysit for has the same problem with her two kids. She gives them Miralax also, but gives it to them every day when having problems, but continues to give it to them every other day or every couple days when things are working good. You might check with your ped to see if you need to do that instead of weaning her off and leaving her off until it is a problem again.

A.,

My 8 year old son is on the prescription form of Miralax and has been since he was about 3. He has constipation issues and for all I know will never outgrow them. The 'stool softner' is a blessing. If we skip a couple of days he lets us know.

Keep using the Miralax and hopefully she will outgrow it in time.

Good luck!

L. - Mom of 4 boys 9 - 8 - 3 - 2 and loving every minute of it!