Withholding a Bottle in the Middle of the Night

my daughter did the same exact thing. However, my peditrician said you cannot let them cry it out until they are at least 6m old and have doubled their birth weight. My daughter did both by 6m and the first night we let her CIO, she slept through the night since, there are ups and downs (being sick, major change or milestone) but otherwise, it worked great!

J. W. MPH
Maternal and Child Health Educator
Chicago Examiner Family Health Expert
http://www.examiner.com/x-7158-Chicago-Family-Health-Exam...

if you can do the cry it out, then do that. She got in the habit of eating in the middle of the night, but you are right she doesn't need it and just has to kick the habit. With my own kids when I did cio I slept on the couch with no monitor on, but music on (sometimes even headphones) to cover any noise. Three nights and it was done and really it was not a big deal.

If you aren't up to the crying then you can do it gradual. Just gradually decrease the amount of liquid, and start watering it down so eventually you are only giving her a half oz of formula and an oz of water. When you get down to that little you can eliminate it in one night probably.

Hello 1st time mommy, welcome to the real world. It is not written in stone that a baby will stay on a schedule. However, this might help. Keep her up longer and give her the bottle with the cereal a little later. The longer you keep her up, the longer she will sleep. You have to break that 3 am instant wake up. Good Luck!

Okay, I read 21 months not weeks....She's still very little. At five months they are going to wake-up hungry...their little tummies are so small and they aren't eating solids yet. The below advice is for a child that is already eating solids....I totally read months and not weeks.

Just set up a routine in which you make a feeding as quick and painless as possible. Because five months is an iffy time...they may or may not sleep all night. I had one that did and two that didn't. It will be over before you know it.

1.) don't turn on lights....just feed her in the dark with a night light.

2.) Don't talk...no stimulation. Just feed her, burp her, and then lay her back down. (I won't even change a diaper unless they are really soaked....I would rather change sheets than wake a child up and then spend the next hour or two of precious sleep time trying to get them back to sleep.)

And it's just normal for a baby that age to sometimes need a feeding. One is not bad and if you just feed her, burp her and lay her down...you are training her to go back to sleep quickly and she will stop waking. My son is 14 months now. He's been getting up once up until I had to cut him off recently. I could have probably done it around nine months or so, but it was no big deal to me to just feed him quickly one time during the night.

Maybe you can keep the below advice in mind for when she's eating solids.

Seriously she's not hungry per se. And she certainly is not going to starve to death. My son has been cut off now from breast feeding because my youngest daughter came home with lice and I had to treat everyone...including myself...so no more breast feeding (I can't pump). I thought he would be a beast in the middle of the night and so dreaded it.

But I go in put the pacifier in his mouth, pat his bottom and tell him it's night-night time. He cries for about a minute and goes back to sleep. three times now in the last week he's slept all night.

You need sleep and she needs sleep. She will stop waking if you make sure she has no reason to wake up. Make sure she has a snack before bedtime or a good bit of milk....brush her little teeth so she doesn't have milk sitting on them all night causing cavities...and the put her down. She will sleep all night after a few days. Most don't take long to realize that no one is going to pick me up and give me a bottle. My oldest took three nights and each night got easier until she just slept.

1.) Don't give in or she will just cry harder until you give in.

2.) Don't pick her up....just gently lay her back down and pat her little bottom....maybe sing to her softly and tell her it's night-night time...time to go to sleep.

3.) Check on her every 20 minutes or so and go through above routine again until she gives up and goes to sleep.

Three to four days max...you might be lucky and she gets it the first night????

Good luck!!

PS I see many saying that each baby is different and you have to listen to their needs...to some extent that is true, but I disagree with letting a little one dictate what they will and won't do...

She's more than old enough to sleep all night. And even if she does wake up for some reason, you just insist that it's night-night time, lay her back down and kiss her and leave. Even my six year old will wake up from time to time. I check on her, tell her it's okay, kiss her/say I love you, and leave. She goes back to sleep.

You have to train her....not let her train you. What a horrible thing to do to a child....you spend the first year, two years, three years???? letting them know that you are at their beck and call, submitting to their every whim and demand and then at what age 4 or 5 they have to listen to you and follow your advice and instruction????? That's silly. You start out from the beginning training them for what they need to do...gently, with love and understanding, but with insistence that you are the parent and they will learn what you are trying to teach them.

Please

Hi. Have you talked with your Pediatrician about this? Although all children are different, most babies keep one bottle feeding (between 7pm and 7am) until they are 9 months old. My advice is to feed her at 3am until she is 9 months old.

Babies go through a major sleep change between 3-4 months of age. Babies who had been sleeping through the night stop sleeping through the night around 13-16 weeks. It sounds like this happened to you too. This is completely normal. All the research I have read, including the advice of my Pediatrician, indicates that most babies are not physiologically able to consistently sleep through the night (on a permanent basis) until they turn 9 months old. I know you don't want to hear this, but I think your daughter is a little too young to go all night without a bottle. But you are getting closer!

Once your daughter is 9-10 months old, eliminate the 3am bottle (as long as your Pediatrician is on board) and you'll have a few days in which you can let her cry-it-out. I don't exactly know what happened with your niece (maybe they didn't use healthy sleep training methods at the right age or use them effectively.) But please feed your baby for now -- you are not spoiling her or creating a bad habit. Nor do you have to "let her decide when she's ready." But wait until 9 months when her body has matured enough to handle it.

I strongly recommend the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It is an excellent resource for all the sleep problems & issues a child has from day 1 through adolescence.

I've heard that 4 months is also called "4 month wakeful". At this age, babies tend to be more awake and usually disrupt their sleep schedule. As far as "cry it out", I've heard six months + is the best time to start that. Before 6 mons your child is crying, or awake due to hunger in the night. Good luck (hope you get some good sleep soon!)

J.,

Congrats on your daughter! My best advice to you would be to purchase the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weisbuth. It is full of ideas for all different sleep situations with babies! I found it extremely useful and know many other moms that would agree!

Good luck!

PROGRAMMING a baby is not always successful. Good luck. I've been where you are; it's not fun. It is worth a shot as long as she's healthy. Maybe more activity before that going to bed for the night. You can lay her on her back and exercise her arms, then her legs, etc. Put her in a baby swing and wind it up. The breeze will help tire her out. Change her and maybe rock her but not to sleep. Lay her in her bed so she learns to sleep in a different room in a bed just for her. Once again, good luck. (warm bath also helps relax them)

J.,

I agree with the others who have said that your daughter is still a bit young to "cry it out."

I'd like to add that every child is different, and just because your niece doesn't yet sleep through the night at 18 mos. doesn't mean your daughter will be the same. Waking up only once during the night at her age is pretty good -- my daughter was waking up every 3 hrs. when she was that age.

If/when you do decide to let her cry it out, you or your husband should go in and check her every 5 to 15 min. to reassure her that she hasn't been abandoned. Don't pick her up -- just pat her and say "shh," etc. We started letting our daughter cry only as a last resort (and only for falling asleep -- not during the middle of the night). She was over 6 mos. old, too. The first night she cried about 35 min., which is apparently a very short time.

But again, I would recommend that you try everything else possible before letting your baby cry -- it's not pleasant for anyone!

Best,
R.

I'm not really one to encourage crying it out so I'll say when I did I found out my child was wet from head to toe one day and never did that again. I also think babies know when they are full.And they also let you know that. Now if she is using a bottle to satisfy sucking, then that is a different issue. Usually I don't out and out say these things but in this case I think maybe you should wait a little bit since she is only 21 weeks old. She is your daughter, not your niece. I made the fateful mistake of letting my sister tell me to let my son cry it out and it seems like we often feel like everything can be the same in the same family. It is often different even in brothers and sisters. Good luck!

She has a tiny stomach still and if she eats that much at night then she needs it. Starving her will only teach her that you won't meet her needs when it is inconvenient for you to do so. Children under one that do wake at night to eat need to and it is ridiculous to think that they do it out of habit when they like to sleep as much as the rest of us do. My son woke 2-3 times a night until he was 18 months to eat. He always ate quickly and was eager to get back to sleep.

My daughter was sleeping through the night for a month and then she started waking up again a few times a night. They go through so many changes in the first year that their brains are constantly going so that can keep them up when they want to sleep. With all the new skills they acquire they burn a lot of calories and so food is burnt off quicker. Please don't let her CIO. Cereal in the bottle is a choke hazard and rarely works. Yes they are "fuller" longer but that is because it is h*** o* their digestion and takes much longer to digest. I know I don't sleep better with a nice big case of indigestion before bed, so why would a baby?

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051200.asp#T051205

She may actually be hungry in the middle of the night. When I had my baby they tod me to remember the numbers 3 and 6. they said some major growth spurts happen around 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, and 6 months. Maybe that is what is going on?

Hi!
Do you let her cry it out to sleep for naps and to fall asleep at night or do you rock her to sleep? If she is already used to it then I would do it at night and let her cry until she fell back to sleep(it should reduce in time each night). Another option may be to start making the bottle less and less each night for a few nights and then let her cry it out so she gets used to eating less first and then getting nothing. Just an idea? I am with you on the sleeping through the night!! Continuing to get up at night just isn't an option in my opinion :) We as the parents have to TEACH them to be on our schedule--we are in charge!!

Good Luck and stay strong!!
L.

the first time i read this post i thought you were complaining about a 5 month old not sleeping through the night! LOL! Ok so mine is the same age and she still wakes at night. She is teething and when she is not teething she hardly wakes. Mine nurses and nursing is a natural pain reliever, so I am assuming your child is doing the same. It is up to you what you want to do. I would instead of cry it out at first is have someone go in there and let her know that there is no milk and offer her a sippy cup that has water in it (she can even go to bed with it). Then if she is thirsty she can have that. Then if you want you can move onto letting her cry, but to just suddenly one night never come in with her bottle and leave her alone to just cry sounds a little cruel to me. I would "wean" her of one and then deal with the other, but I have a feeling if she realizes there is going to be no milk she will stop waking on her own.

Please read 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' (sorry I don't know the author) and 'Nighttime Parenting' before trying the cry it out idea. When using the cry it out method, babies will eventually give up and sleep instead of crying, it's called 'learned helplessness' to them not having you respond means no one is there to assist them, care for them or address their needs. There are ways to gradually teach your child skills including better ways to achieve sleep.
Continuing to build you baby's confidence and trust in you and your judgement will serve you better as a parent over the long haul than any quick fix for the moment.
A.
(former therapist, and more importantly mother to very healthy, trusting, smart big kids)

As long as your baby is over 3 months old and weighs at least 14 pounds, she can sleep through the night. Simple as that. There are 2 aspects we are looking at: developmentaly and physically. At 3 months of age, the spoiling stage should end (meaning running to her every time she cries) and it also means she's old enough to have to cry it out if need be without lasting psychological effects and is cabable of easing herself back to sleep. Also, she will not be hungry because her weight is large enough to get her through the night, she does not need additional sustinance to help her.

The best practice in this situation is to work on it for 3 days. Meaning when she wakes go in and help to sooth her by rubbing her back but only stay for a minute. Do not speak to her, turn the lights on, pick her up, etc. Just go in, touch her so she knows you're there but let her get herself back to sleep. Of course she will keep taking a bottle because you keep giving it to her but I promise you, she will not starve, she will be completely fine. Go in every 15-20 mins if she keeps crying, just so she knows you're there and doesn't feel abandoned. Do that over the course of 3 nights. Then if she's still being stubborn, you probably just have to let her cry it out on the 4th night. But again, she will be fine! She's more capable than you think. My son knew that he would get rocked to sleep if were sick or having a bottle so he would look to eat or actually pretend to caugh! Like you, I was very concerned that he "needed" the bottle. I let this go on until he was over 12 months old! Big mistake. Trying to cut off a 12 months old vs a 5 month old is a huge difference. But I learned and my youngest has been sleeping through the night at 2 months old and still does. He tried to get up and I simply would not let him get into that pattern. He's a moose for his age too so I knew he could do it, it just didn't want to. But now he's a great sleeper. Gets up a the crack of dawn everyday but he's in bed for 11 hours straight. You will do fine. Just hang in there and give it a try!

Hi J.,

We went thru kinda the same thing with my son. Our Dr suggested trying to give him water instead, which didn't work for him, he knew the difference, but you can try it with her? What did work for us was giving him less and less each night. He was aslo up to 5 oz, so first night of "weaning we gave him 4 oz, the next 3 and so on. He did get a little mad at first, but I just gave him the binky afterwards and held him and calmed him down for about 15 min and then put him back to bed (we always hold him for a while after a bottle cuz he also has acid reflux).

I hope one of these suggestions works for you! Good luck!

Jen

I would say that you were lucky that she was sleeping through the night. I was having the same issues with my daughter waking up at 3 or 4 am wanting a bottle until she was almost a year old. I asked my doctor about how to get her to sleep through the night. He told me that this is something that she will do on her own. My daughter is now 21 months and sleeps 12 hours at night and has been doing so ever since so was a year. So (per my doctor's advice) I reallllly think you should give her the bottle when she needs it!! She is still so young. You said you were worried about her being hungry, and you would most likely be correct. I wouldn't compare your child to your niece. As you know, every child is different. I really hope you get some good sleep soon.

She's hungry, feed her the bottle. She is on a growth spurt, so she needs to eat more. She is also too young to "cry it out". Most Dr.'s don't suggest that until they are at least 11-12 months old.

J.,

Hi! I would hold off on letting her cry it out for a little bit longer. Most articles I've read on using the cry-it-out method say you should wait until your baby is six months old. Waiting that long allows her to develop trust in you and builds self-esteem. She needs to know first that her needs will met. Once she's six months old this foundation has been established.

Have you tried other ways to soothe her back to sleep? I think my twins were around six months old when we could rock them back to sleep and I was confident they weren't hungry or going through a growth spurt. A few times I tried to rock them they would root, so I knew they needed to eat. When they stopped trying to nurse from my arm is when I figured out they weren't hungry.

Good luck to you!

I believe most babies need at least 1 night time feeding until at least 6 or 7 months old. There are exceptions, but I wouldn't take it away just yet. I believe our children were 7 and 8 months old when they slept all through the night without a feeding. You should ask and see what your doctor thinks, but I would say it's a little too early now. It's hard to function on so little sleep, but it gets better!

I don't really have any advice, just wanted to share my symphoties! My son (6 months) is in the exact same position, however, he was waking up multiple times a night sometimes nursing, sometimes not (After sleeping through the night at 12 weeks). I teach and return to work soon, and can not be up multiple times a night and be able to function and teach students with behavior disorders so....last night was the first night we let him cry. I tried to nurse him more frequently in the evening so that he would not need to eat. It went ok, he cried for a bit and then slept very soundly another 3 hours (so he couldn't have been too hungry!) We too have decided to try to let him cry for about a week and see if that helps him learn to self-soothe.

Good Luck!

Wow, you got a lot of responses. Here is my 2 cents:

Not a big fan of crying it out. I too had experience with my then-13 month-old-son crying in his room because he pinned his arm between crib and wall. I ignored him because I thought he was just complaining about going to sleep. Also ignored him several times in his crib when he had soaked through his clothes.

As for waking up to eat, my daughter woke up until about 17-months, my son did until about 14-months. I feel if they are hungry, feed them. When I felt they were big enough to go through the night, I only offered a sippy cup of water intead of milk. Unfortunately, I didn't hear this idea until my daughter was 16 months. After about 3-4 nights (less then a week), she stopped waking up to eat. I did put a sippy cup of wather in her crib just in case she got thirsty. I know she woke up several time after that night and got her own drink since she was in our room (smaller house at the time) and I heard her, but she would drink on her own and go back to sleep.

I tried my son at 12-months but he was not ready. Finally at 15-months, he was. I keep a sippy cup by my bed and he still wakes up to drink from that, but he is a mouth breather and a snorer and gets dry, so I don't attribute that to bad sleeping habits.

Finally, I agree with one mama's posting about mommy instincts. I followed "the books" with my daughter who is now 3. I didn't offer baby food until 6 months, table food at 12 months, etc. She is now a picky eater. I started my son at 4 months on baby food, 10 months on table food. He will eat anything.

Just follow your gut.

Good luck!

Ask your pediatrician about feedings and what's appropriate. Babies cry to express their needs so it's important to respond. Ignoring a baby increases stress hormones, which is not good for their bodies plus the issues with detachment.

It is appropriate for a child to truly sleep through the night as a toddler. Your child will begin to cit teeth soon and will continue to do so for another year off and on.

This season is short and there is value in extending your parenting into the nighttime. Both long and short term.it can be helpful to get support from your husband to help care for her in evenings and night.

Googling nighttime parenting may have some helpful resources.

With baby #1 I read all the sleep theory books (seriously, almost every one). There are so many, and so many styles out there. I was open minded and I tried each too. I remember so many nights being so upset because my child was in the next room unhappy and my book told me not to go and help the way my heart told me to. By 6 months I decided that I couldn't live with myself if I ignored my mom instincts and followed some book. From that day forward I went right in, and reminded myself that I am lucky to have this middle of the night moment with my happy daughter, rather than sad moments from outside the door. With Baby #2 I followed that instinct from day 1 and haven't had any regrets. I chose a loving relationship that includes some night visits. Both are fab sleepers when it was age appropriate.
Babies at that age are simply too young to be "trained" or "manipulative". Your child is acting needy because she NEEDS something. A hug, your warmth, a bottle. Whatever it is, you have the priveledge of being her mother, and YOU are the only one that can help her.

Fear of what she MAY do in the future (like your neice) is fruitless. Acting out of love now is simple and from the heart. I reccomend two books... "Smart Love" or anything by Dr Wm Sears.

She might be getting ready (or already going through) a growth spurt, and suddenly needs the extra food at night. My son would require extra night feedings when he was growing. At ten weeks, if she's telling you she's hungry, she is. I understand your desire for sleep - I'm a single mom working and attending law school, and my son didn't regularly sleep through the night until he was almost a year. It's exhausting, but that's how it goes sometimes.

Teaching her to listen and respond to her body's hunger cues will set the stage for a healthy relationship with food later.

once we got or little one on a scedual she started to only get up once a night after doing that for a while i decided that i would try letting her cry a bit befor going getting her and given the bottle. the first few time i just let her cry 5-10 min then gave in but after a few trys she would cry for a bit then lots of time go back to sleep. a lot of times its just a securety thing they dont need the bottle but it helps them go back to sleep. our little one is now 14months sleeps thought the night and doesnt take a bottle. well hope this helps good luck

Hi J.,

I have an 8 month old with acid reflux. She was on medication since she was 3 months and we have just now weaned her from the meds. When she was 4 months, she would get up several times a night which was just killing me because then my three year old would get up too and it was no party.

I spoke to the doctor, lactation consultants and used the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth. Anyway - babies with AR are typically more uncomfortable at night and babies in general go through many growth spurts which generally last a up to a week. So even if she sleeps through the night for a week it may change the next week due to growing, teething etc. My doctor had me try going in and soothing in the crib, then if that didn't work giving a diaper change, then if that didn't work then nursing. She also had me hold off on solid food until 6 months as she said sometimes food too early can worsen AR in babies and then had me start with oatmeal instead of rice as constipation can worsen AR too. (don't know if you have experienced this). The book recommended not going in at all if you baby gets up before 4 hours. The book did say at that age they still may need to eat every 4-6 hours at night so you should feed them, but if you baby wakes up before that you can let them cry for as long as it takes for them to sleep.

All in all - nothing seemed to make much of a difference until my baby was around 7 months and one day she just went to bed at 7 and woke up at 7. Now a month later she usually either sleeps the full 12 hours or wakes up maybe once to eat. I guess from my experience, a baby will cry if it needs something, especially at that age. You can try sleep training and suggestions but don't get discouraged if things don't work because eventually they will sleep when they are ready.

Good luck,
H.

My 3 children were all between the ages of 9-11mo before they totally slept through the night. I feel that let a child before the age of 6mo cry it out is not fair...they are not manipulative yet and if they are hungry let them eat.

Good luck

"Sleeping through the night" does not mean all night. It means that your baby will only wake up one or two times for a feeding. Your baby needs that 5-6 oz bottle still. This doesn't change until around 9 months. Then you can let her cry it out .She will be getting baby food too at that age.You have a dream baby with her just waking up once in the middle of the night for a bottle.Seriously:)Please feed her the bottle that she needs.Good luck :)

Hi J. I know you may not want to hear this but if your daughter is hungry feed her!!! She is to young to try to put her on a feeding schedule. She's a growing child. Ask her pediatrician if she can eat more solid foods. This may help her sleep through the night. But at her age there will be times when she wake up in the middle of the night, will not take her nap and start being picky about what she eats as she get older. I went through this with my son. And they do grow out of it. This all part of rising children.

Indeed, a lot of 5 mos olds do still wake up at night, but your question is legitimate. Since she is happy and healthy no doubt she will make up during the day the missed night time feeding. Not only at night, but during the day for nap time the following proceedure will tell you just how hungry she is and without too much pain on her part. Beginning with her morning nap, put her down awake. If she cries: pop in on her after 5 min (set a timer), still crying, pop in after 10 min, still crying, pop in after 15 min. Now you decide if she is still crying whether she is minutes away from sleep or if you want to pick her up and try again with the next nap. If she just goes down for naps already very well, then begin this in the middle of the night when she wakes up. Night number 2 she should cry less, etc. especially if she really doesn't need the middle of the night bottle. If on the first night she cries through the 5-10-15 min routine, you will have to wing it, should you get her up and feed her? If you do decide not to let her cry it out all the way, then night # 2 see if she cries for less time, maybe try a 20 min wait. You will know what is up as you follow your intuition, which I believe you are pretty good at doing already.

It sounds like a growth spurt to me. She's too young to "cry it out". Even Ferber recommends waiting until 6 months. Brazelton has a very good (and short) book on infants and sleep cycles and how and when to help them learn to self-soothe.

I really don't understand your question. If you are hungry, you eat. If your baby is hungry, you feed them. If it is in the middle of the night, you get up and give them food and go back to bed when they are fed. This is a very short time in their life and yours and you are not teaching them bad habbits by feeding them when they have growth spirts and need it.(FYI this will happen again at 12 mos and 16 mos and 19mos most likely, but it is short lived and they will be toddlers and sleeping all night before you even realize it.) You are the mommy and if you listen to your gut, your heart and your baby you will know what is right. Your dr does not live in your house and this is not your dr's child; it is yours. It may not be what you "want" because we all want our rest, but your baby obviously wants food. It is a short lived thing to get up in the night with your child and at 21 weeks she NEEDS YOU!! Whoever told you to let a baby under a year cry it out when they are hungry is just MEAN!! At that age you are fostering the idea that you are their loving support, their everything and when they need you you WILL BE THERE for them. Later, there will be a time to teach them what you expect of them and sleeping at night, but right now they are communicating need and you should be responding with love and food.

Sorry, I know you are a first time mommy and I don't mean to be harsh at all, but I just find that people stop listening to their mommy intuition. You do have it and even though it is REALLY HARD sometimes and you really want to sleep and for it all to be over, it is over far too quickly and trust me when it is, the sleep you tried to get while your baby cried is the last thing you will want to remember about this time. You will want to look back and remember a quiet moment giving your baby a bottle and bonding. The smell of their skin and hair and the way they look up at you satisfied, happy and full after the bottle and back to peaceful sleep. A loving parent can never really sleep while their baby is screaming for food. Everyone is miserable.

Hello J. M:

Your concern is very honest. It is almost impossible if you are working taking care of home and taking care of your baby.

Even if you are a stay home mom, sleep is called beauty sleep because it takes away the frustrations of a busy life, and specially while you are taking care of a new addition in the family.

I have a remedy that I have given to several other mothers and I know besides people that I know a lot of parents are using. If you have started giving cereal to the baby, then at night sleep time, when you prep her for sleeping through the night, give her a formula bottle with two table spoon of cereal. You will have to make a bottle with special nipple that has a little bigger hole in the nipple.
Hope you know how to make the nipple whole bigger. One easy way to make the whole bigger is take a sewing needle,
hold it with a tweezer and warm the needle on the stove, when needle is so hot that you see it turning red, trun off the stove and pass this red hot needle through the whole of the nipple, and the whole will get little bigger.

Since I have not shopped for a formula bottle may be even stores are selling the baby bottles now have some easy flow nipples, that have bigger than normal whole and you may use them.

The warmth of infant ceral will give your baby a longer and deeper sleep, and she might not wake up in the middle of the night but early in the morning.

Besides, make sure your baby does not sleep in the last part of the day, so she is tired enough when she sleeps.

Give her almost six oz of formula with ceral. She might not finish it in the beginning, but will eventually take the whole bottle.

I hope this works for you.

FranA

I agree with many of the moms that this is too early for "withholding" a feeding, and also, I strongly disagree that your baby should be sleeping through the night right now. The truth is your baby is a little individual and you have to go by her needs, not something you read in a book. If you look at other's posts you will see that most babies are not sleeping through the night at that age. Also, it's not a straight line of development. Babies may sleep through the night for a while, and then start waking up again for various reasons. They are developing and growing and changing. It's not only about food either. We all want our kids on a schedule but obviously not to their detriment.

I'd say that it was a fluke that she used to sleep through the night at such a young age - you were lucky. She is a growing baby and if she is drinking that much, then she probably needs it. I know your doctor told you to put the cereal in the bottle because of reflux, but there are studies that show that it does not help baby sleep longer. Here's one: http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/tipcerealinbottle.htm Scroll down to the part about advice from medical authorities.

If you're still going to make her cry it out, I did a modified version that helped me feel less terrible about it. He was already standing and would fall asleep sitting up. I laid next to his crib and patted the mattress until he finally laid down. I shushed(sp?)him until he finally fell asleep 2 hours later. I did this for a full week when it got easier. Then I moved halfway between the crib and the door and did that for a week. Then sat by the door for a week, and after that, I just left. Yes it took a lot longer, but I felt like a much better mom, and he was less hysterical then when I tried the cry it out alone method.

21 weeks is still very young. I think you were lucky to have a child that did sleep through the night younger than that. The same thing happened with our daughter as well and it used to frustrate me, but then she was sleeping through the night later.

I think "sleeping through the night" is one of the biggest stressors that can be given to parents, like there is something wrong with your child if they can't. Fact is many developmental milestones will cause your child to NOT sleep through the night and this bottle is really one of the smallest ones. E.g. pulling up, crawling, teething. There is a big difference between 21 weeks not sleeping through the night and 18 mos not sleeping through the night and it may or may not be caused by an extra bottle in the middle of the night.

As for drinking more at night, 5-6 oz vs 1, your child is bigger now! She likely went through a groth spurt, her little tummy got a little bigger and now she not only needs that feed, but she needs a bigger feed of that as well.

She is way too young for Cry it out. You may want to try putting water in her bottle to cut it, but if she still seems hungry after water or still wants to eat, she probably really does need it. but I think you should just go with it and let her have the bottle. 4 mos is still little.

J.,

I have three kids - my twins were sleeping through the night consistently at 4 months, and my little guy at 6 months. In spite of everything I tried, crying it out, etc., the little guy just was not ready until six months, but at that point, he started sleeping through the night on his own without any intervention from me. I know you don't want to hear that, but your baby is still little and may just need time.

With the twins, I was more successful getting rid of nighttime feedings. If their nighttime feeding was usually at two, and one night they slept until three, then they could no longer get it before three. I know others who have forced that transition by moving the bottle time later and later every few nights. (I tried this with my little guy.) The book I referenced most during this was Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. When using either of the above methods, she strongly advocates not getting any closer than two hours before waking. Once you hit that point, you should just take the feeding away. Otherwise, you can begin to mess with waking times and daytime feedings.

As far as how long to cry it out, it really has to be what works for your family. The Good Night, Sleep Tight book talks about a lot of different methods. What worked for us is more of the Ferber method. When the baby starts crying, we would go in, calm him, and walk out. Then we would check on the baby after three minutes and leave. If in five more minutes he was still crying, we would go in again. Then we would wait ten minute to check. The time interval stays at 10 minutes then until the baby goes back to sleep (or it is time to get up). If the baby goes to sleep and then starts crying later in the night, you start the 3, 5, 10 drill again. Dr. Ferber recommends extending these times every few nights (ie 4, 7, 12; then 5, 10, 15; etc.), but we never did and it worked fine for our family.

Good luck!
S.

It's hard to let her cry it out, but it only takes a few days and they then get out of the routine of getting up. My first slept through the night by 2 months....my second finally starting sleeping through the night at 6 months because we finally let him cry it out. He was definitely big enough at 6 months, so there was no reason for him eating in the middle of the night other than habbit. Let her cry for 15 min and if she continues, go in there and try to shush her, if she sleeps on her tummy you can rub her back or a trick that used to work with our first was to push down on the matress at the opposite end of the bed to rock her a little. It might take a week or longer, but it gets easier and easier. Children have to learn how to sooth themselves which will help you in the long run. Both of my kids are put to bed awake and they fall asleep on their own and sleep about 11 hrs at night and they're only 2 yrs and 9 mo's. You will lay awake watching the clock while she's crying, but it won't last long and it will get better. Good luck!

That's still pretty young. I would check the book "Heathy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" for help. IMO once a night is pretty good. If you are determined to do this, I would suggest going in and comforting her without food. Then see if she starts sleeping through the night after a few nights. Don't talk or play, just reassure and maybe rock quietly.

Here are some explanations that might be helpful to you...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/0/t000100.asp#T031009

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070400.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071100.asp#T071122

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp

Also, you may find that as she goes through various developmental changes, her sleep patterns and her needs at night will naturally vary.

Best wishes,
J.

J.,
Have you tried giving her rice cereal before bed (not in a bottle but in cereal form?) It sounds like she is really hungry, not just eating for comfort. I think my first daughter went through this at the same age so I introduced the cereal before bed and it really helped. Good luck.