Wild Child

Updated on January 08, 2009
J.H. asks from Port Huron, MI
27 answers

My 4 year old has the most energy of anyone I have ever met, she quit taking naps at 2,she gets up at about 6:30-7:00 in the morning and goes full steam until about 8:00-9:00-at night, gets just a bit cranky at about 3:00 in the afternoon but will not relax. Sometimes she gets this out of control look in her eyes and can not calm down unless forced to take a time out carries on for a while crying then all is fine, some people say she may be add-adhd but I really don't know much about that stuff but she wears my husband and myself out. Is she just a normal 4 year old or do you think I am dealing with something else?

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K.M.

answers from Jackson on

Hi there, I would take a good look at her diet, as it has everything to do with her behavior. If she is getting good nutritious food (not out of a box or fast food) add some vitamins and possibly some organic flaxseed muffins or flax oil. It is supposed to be one of the best things you can give growing children.

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M.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

it may ADHD but drs may says it could be anything. can she sit still and do quiet things? most drs won't give meds until they start kindergarten. and still want letters from teachers and counclors and such. my youngest is 5 and we have had same problem with her and she just started med 2 mths ago. i wish you luck. feel free to contact me if you like. i am a mom of 4- 25, 23, 18 and 5. i also teach them even tho she has a problem like ADHD she is still responsible for her behavior and do not allow anyone to use it as a crutch.

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K.A.

answers from Detroit on

J. you are not alone. My 4.5 year old son is the same. He slept through the night at 2 weeks old, no crying but since he was 2.5 he gets up when we do at 6 a.m. (even on weekends) and doesn't want to quit at bedtime around 8 or so (he stays awake til 9 or 10. Everyone tells me he is trying to catch up to having all that sleep when he was an infant. We just tell him that he has to rests around 2-3 p.m. even if he doesn't actually fall asleep. We know that when he is totally exhausted he becomes satan himself and we have learned to make things simple for him and not to get him upset. If we get him to the point where he just cries for no reason. We walk away until he has calmed himself. Today so many are ready to label a child instead of letting them learn to find what works best for them. Good luck.

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K.V.

answers from Detroit on

Mine is 3 1/2 and is the same way. She was walking at 8 1/2 months, climbing out of crib at 14 mos, etc, etc. I put her in gymnastics, ice skating, etc. I started going to SKIP (for the mental stimulation for her) and we go to the pool once a week, and I jsut have to make sure that she gets physical activity every morning. If I don't, it's a mess. Sometimes, that is playing outside in the snow, sometimes it is the gymnastics, etc.

Then when my toddler takes a nap, it is quiet time, she can watch a movie (must be laying on the couch) or play quietly in her room, or something like that. I try to make it something with very little mental or physical stimulation.

Make sure they are eating good food (not prepackaged).

I have never had mine tested, but the fact is, she can play for a long time and be focused on her dolls, or other toys, without getting easily distracted.

Mine gets bored, and then gets hyper, so when she starts getting that way, I engage her in a craft or cooking or something that she can use her imagination with.

Good luck and hang in there, it's only because she is super smart.

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C.N.

answers from Detroit on

I my self don't believe in ADD and ADHA. I believe it is a name for something people don't really know what is wrong with people these days. It's a way to drug innocent children just being children (and reacting to their enviroment)and an excuse for adults for their behavior. So let's just drug everyone! Yeah that's seems like a real solution! I'm reading a book right now called "The Last Child in the Woods" by Richard Louv. He coined the term "nature-deficit disorder". I believe he has a real solution to many of our problems---get outside more and be in nature! Like when we were kids! Like some of your other responses diet probably does have something to do with it. I do know that it is very hard to get good quality food with out preservatives and dyes. Children are also children and they have lots of energy, we are over-worked and exhausted parents who are to tired to parent them they way they should be, and don't spend the quality time with them that they require which causes them to get our attention by misbehaving. I have 4 children and have continuously watched them go through periods like this some needing less sleep than others as they grow older, being over tired and stimulated to relax, then waking often in the night because they are over tired. Finding the balance is difficult but getting them outdoors more often and for longer periods of time seems to work wonders! It would work for parents also! Go look at the trees and the buds on them right now, search for birds, rabbits or other wildlife and the tracks they make. Try to figure out what kind of trees are in your neighborhood.
The possibilities are endless!
This is a good book you may like.
The 7 Habits of Happy Kids by Sean Covey
It's a children's book. My 11, 9, 7 & 5 year old love it.

C.

A little about me;
Mom of 4 homeschooled kids, love to teach them and watch them learn. Love horses, the west, cowboys, log cabins, and striving to live a simpler, healthier life.

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C.J.

answers from Lansing on

J.,

I agree with Linda C.'s post, your daughter may not be getting the quiet time she needs to process her daily experiences. My son also stopped napping around the age of two and I continued to insist on at least one hour of quiet time, we both spent it in our rooms. I did give him some ground rules, he did not have to sleep, but no bouncing on the bed or running around the room, no destroying books (he did this once and lost all of his toys and books - except his lovey - out of his bedroom, that was a shock to him!).

When I skipped the quiet time or over-scheduled our day my son would act very similar to what your are describing with your daughter.

We also discovered around the age of 3 that he has multiple food intolerances. After eliminating the "bad" foods his focus and self control improved. You might want to try eliminating the following foods, one type for a full week, then slowly reintroduce it back into her diet until you start to see changes, and note these down for the doctor: food dyes, soy, wheat, corn, dairy, and yeast. Please contact me if you have any questions about how to supplement her diet with nutrient rich foods to replace the eliminated food.

My son is seven now and still needs the quiet time when he comes home from school. He spends 1/2 to 1 hour in his playroom making lego creations and comes out frequently to show me his latest spaceship.

Good luck and hang it there, this too will most likely pass.

-C..

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A.G.

answers from Detroit on

I'm wondering the same thing about our son. He's 4 & seems to be out of control in the afternoons also, but won't take a nap. We also have a daughter who will be 12 in a few weeks who seems to have much more control over her actions & didn't act wild at this age. Not sure if it's our parenting, his food, adhd, or what... He can be so cute & sweet & at other times he's hitting, scratching and acting completely...frustrated, which is frustrating! Going to read your advice & wanted to let you know your not the only one with this concern. Hang in there & if ya want to chat or learn something helpful, let me in on it! LOL!

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A.B.

answers from Detroit on

Hi,
I reccommend reading the book "Raising Your Spirited child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. I am sure she is normal for the way she is made, don't let people worry you about the ADHD unless she is having major behavioral issues. Hang in there, it will get easier as she gets older.

Blessings,
A.

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R.G.

answers from Detroit on

Your daughter sounds exactly like my 3-year-old son. He gets up very early and doesn't go to bed until 11pm at night. He is nonstop all day long. Running, jumping, getting into things, etc. However, I have been forcing him to take a nap each day around 3pm. I actually get him in a cradle position and hold him tight until he falls asleep. If I don't, he won't sit still long enough to fall asleep. Sometimes I take him for a ride in the car around 3pm and he falls asleep. You may want to try this. It has helped with his behavior a great deal. I was also concerned with ADHD but my ped. said that if he can sit still for more than 2 minutes to pay attention to something (tv, conversations, etc.) then he is not ADHD. She says that he is behaving normally for a child his age. It sounds as though your daughter is also a very normal preschooler. Good luck! :)

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

I've heard its too early to diagnose adhd before school age. My son was high energy and now he's a 13 year old slug! But... he is very intelligent and the hyper activity could be attributed to that. If you suspect she's of high intelligence, see this website http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/gifted_101.htm for great insight and advice.
We started him in K as a 4 year old to occupy his mind. Also swimming, soccer and gymnastics to burn energy.

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L.C.

answers from Saginaw on

Definitely within the range of normal for a 4yo. If I had any specific advice it would be to ensure that she's eating quality food all day long so she doesn't get burned out, and to have a routine (not a schedule, just a recognizable pattern) of energetic, quiet, energetic, quiet, that happens throughout the day. It is often the sense the there is no upper limit to the input that creates the kind of crazy energy by the end of the day, and you may find that a quiet period before lunch (or immediately following, depending on how her energy works) and another placed the same way around dinner helps her (and you) to manage her energy levels better. Ironically, it is insufficient rest throughout the day that interferes the most with early bedtimes and quality sleep.

People need time to take in new information and experiences and time to process those. It is not possible to assimilate all the information of the day in a single short period, so breaking up the day to have a couple of 40 minute 'breaks' will help you both.

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C.C.

answers from Benton Harbor on

J., I had a son who was like that and a grandson who also is very active. In both instances limiting their sugar intake made a huge difference. Just for fun see how much sugar she's taking in and watch her reaction to it. Then cut it down and see her reaction to that. Also watch her mood changes while this is going on. We are all individuals and react differently to different things but too much sugar can make me miserable, you see I think my boys got it from me:) Anyway, good luck, I hope this works for your little one. I don't care how far they've come with meds.if cutting the sugar does it then so much the better. Cecilia c.

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L.B.

answers from Detroit on

Hi J.,
Our 2 1/2 year old is very similar. She is very active for most of the day. She is also receiving speech therapy for a speech delay. Through that we discovered that she may have a sensory integration difficulty. We have found that if she participates in heavy activities (such as carrying boxes of diapers, pushing or pulling heavy items, wearing a weighte vest etc..), this helps tremendously. It sounds strange, but very true for her. We keep her pretty active now and on the days that she is not, we definately notice a difference. The book "Out of Sync Child" is a great read on the subject. Best wishes to your family.

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A.G.

answers from Detroit on

I used to have "Movie Time". I'd pop some popcorn, put in a movie, close the shades and if possible lay down on a bed or couch with my child. It gave us both a break and some times turned into a short nap for both of us.

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

She sounds like she may be adhd, but there's not a lot you can do at this age anyway except give her a chance to let out that energy appropriately (preschool soccer team - they have indoor teams in the winter at soccer domes like Total and Ultimate - and try to help her focus and relax. If medication is decided upon, they usually don't give it till 5, unless that's changed in recent years. A lot of these kids are very smart, so meeting her need for intellectual stimuation is a great idea too. Good luck! My most hyper daughter is an emergency care physician now. She loves the thrill-a-minute atmosphere since she's easily bored! And she's great at it!

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S.S.

answers from Detroit on

Count your blessings that she is healthy and has the energy! Too many children are said to be ADHD waaaay sooner that I would like!

Take care! S.

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P.R.

answers from Detroit on

I'm interested in her diet--milk, dyes, preservatives, brightly colored natural foods (like red apples or purple grapes) can send some kids into "wild". What does she eat?

If you're concerned w/ her development, your local school district can screen her for delays--contact the special education dept for more info, or your ISD or RESA for their Project Child Find coordinator.

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L.M.

answers from Detroit on

I don't have a 4 year old but I do have a wild 2 year old, I feel for you. Just wanted to comment on the person that suggested you contact the school regarding a diagnosis of ADHD. The school does not make that diagnosis, a pediatrican or some other outside physician will. The school will fill out the forms for you,if your child is attending that school, to take to the doctor, but the final diagnosis is not made by the school. It is a medical diagnosis.Also I remember seeing a pretty well thought of psychiatrist in this area say, the diagnosis can be made before school age. However medication may not be advised. I absolutely have no idea whether or not your child is ADHD, actually I think 4 year olds are just pretty active little people.Good Luck.
L.

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S.C.

answers from Detroit on

If you have questions or doubts after reading the many responses here you can always call your local school district and ask to have her evaluated for ADD/ADHD. I have three special needs boys and one of their many conditions is ADHD. While medication is not for everyone for some of us it's the only thing that has helped get it under control. You never know - if you do have her evaluated they may come back and tell you she is being normal and it's nothing to worry about but on the flip side, if they do find something early intervention is the key to sucess.

Good luck - S.

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Sounds like my daughter used to be. Make sure she is getting lots of physical activity as well as mental stimulation. Force the time out or quite time in the afternoon because even though she may seem to be full steam, she may be overly tired. My daughter gets crazy hyper when she gets too tired. Check her diet for too much sugar. Make sure she is eating enough protein and good carbs and veggies. Give her physical activity with a purpose so she is not just running around like a crazy person. Teach her to exercise or something like that. If nothing helps, you may want to speak with her doctor. Mine told me that as long as there are times while she is in control and doing quite play, then not to worry, she is just a normal kid with lots of energy!!

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

Your first post was good. I'd add to that with this.. food coloring and additives can cause kids to get amped up. Lots of Doc's advise to take kids w/ add-adhd off them. Than wait a few weeks to see if there's a difference. Than maybe remove something else from her diet. Mine gets crazy emotional when she has gluten/wheat. That leads to yeast and her peeing her pants for a week or 2. Powerful stuff food can do, good and bad.
I found my daughter would slow down at her old nap time. We'd have quiet time and read books, or play quite for a bit. Maybe she'd like kids yoga, my daughter loves it.
Good luck. A. H

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J.H.

answers from Detroit on

I'm by no means a medical expert so I have no idea about appropriate age to diagnose things like ADHD. I did read a great book however that talks about how changes in diet and nutritional supplements can really help kids with ADHD symptoms. The book is called "Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma and Allergies". This book outlines these different disorders and some natural healing methods (i.e. changes in diet and nutritional supplements). Many kids have food intolerances (not as severe as a traditional allergy) that can cause their behaviors to be exacerbated. It might be worth looking into especially since you can try some of the treatments simply by removing certain kinds of foods from your daughter's diet (so it's non-medicinal). Best of luck!

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M.T.

answers from Detroit on

I have 6 yr old triplets and have the problems you described with my daughter (2 boys and a girl). She stopped napping at about 18 months and is constant. She talks constantly like there is so much going thru her head that she cannot get it all out of her mouth fast enough. She does not get up early in the morning BUT she is up nightly to at least midnight. I had her tested and she is ADHD, but we have not put her on meds. We are currently working with a therapist. Good luck.

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E.O.

answers from Detroit on

As a person with a ADHD I am concerned that you would jump to your child having this diagnosis. I would check things first like a diet and making some time just to wind down. I was diagnosedwith ADHD until I was 21 and in coillege. Did you know there are more than 1 form of ADHD? Typically girls have introverted where they day dream more and boys are more the extroverted where they are more physically active. Though this is not how every child is this is the typical. I am also a social worker and seriously would recommend you do more research on the matter than get your brain in that frame of mind. And learn that ADHD diagnosis does not usually come until children are about 7.

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N.R.

answers from Detroit on

There is a 11 year age difference between my younger sister and I and she was really active and hyper when she was younger. Bouncing off the walls! I remember my mom just tried to keep her on a routine that included alot of ways for her to be active. We would play with her outside for hours and she would run around, or do "exerise" kind of things. Also my mom tried to find at least one quiet activity she liked doing and sometimes that would help keep her focused. Shes almost in high school now and doing fine. Hope everything works out well for you!!!

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V.G.

answers from Grand Rapids on

We have two very energetic children, although the youngest will still take naps (when forced). My husband is ADHD with some learning disablities. My mother-in-law is a clinical social worker and has performed the diagnostic testing on adults and we talked with her regarding our girls. She got some additional information and told us that it's typically not diagnosed until they are older, typically 1st or 2nd grade. Mainly because the behavior is typical of children that age. When our oldest was in pre-school we talked to her teacher about it, and she agreed that they typically aren't diagnosed until older, although she has seen children with very prominent issues and has requested testing.

My advice, if you are really concerned about it, talk to your doctor. It may very well be a typical child with a lot of energy or it could be something else.

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J.S.

answers from Saginaw on

Hi; Don't lose hope on this one. After having 3 girls and at latest count, 8 grandchildren with some living with us at different ages, I know these tots can be exhausting. Try and keep a food diary and see if there is a pattern for hyper behavior. I'm with you on the add-adhd catch phrases. Too many times, the additives in food change the behavior of little ones, and I'm sorry to say, girls can miss-behave just as often as boys, sometimes more. If the food doesn't give you any more clue than before, it may be that you need to help her quiet down by reading to her or I used to play "quiet" games to calm them down just before bedtime, about 20 to 30 minutes. And you'd be surprised how that behavior goes hand in hand with wanting Mommas attention. Good Luck!
J.

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