I have a friend who is getting a divorce after 30 years. They both work but he makes a lot more money than she does. All of their debt (mostly 2 houses) was based on both of their income but he brings home more money and mostly it was his decision to purchase a second home. Now that they are going through a divorce he wants to split the monthly bills 50/50. Of course she can not afford that. She has an attorney who is telling her CA law is 50/50. I just can't wrap my brain around it. It does not seem fair. How does that compute. It appears as if my friend will get screwed.
WOW! All of the advice and encouragement has been helpful and is much appreciated. I will definitely pass the information on. Each day my friend gets a lot stronger and she is standing up for what she deserves. Her ex was not counting on that! She has an amazing group of friends who are rallying around her. You mess with one of us, you mess with us all and we are bringing the arsenal. She is now seeking a second opinion. Thanks again.........
Hi,
50/50 is CA law. What's not fair is she's being asked to pay 50% of the bills that exceed her income. She's living beyond her means; however, what is fair is that they sell their assets, split them 50/50 so that she can live within her means. She shouldn't even try to pay the 50% bills or get worked up....just sell, split and move on. Peace of mind is PRICELESS!
S.
My parents were married for 37 years and are going through one heckuva nasty divorce. My father makes almost twice the amount of money as my mother does. So my mother's attorney IMMEDIATELY filed an order for spousal support. The courts are usually pretty good about getting the parties in to hear just that part of the divorce agreement right away so that she can start receiving payment from him. Both of their wages, some information from their
W-2s, et cetera are placed into a Dissomaster machine, and it spits out a receipt with the amount that she should FAIRLY be getting paid from him. If he makes a great amount more than she does, then he should be paying her a great amount more, which will help her with her 50 percent of the bills. It's just a very sad thing in life....best wishes to her, and I'm sure that she's thankful for such a concerned friend.
divorce sucks...
ok, here's what i'd do. first off, better lawyer
second: she should offer to sell her share of the second home to her husband. you said she didn't really want it & apparently he does, so he's going to have to buy it from her . .. otherwise they will have to sell it on the current real estate market & they will both lose.
third: offer to so the the same to the primary residence.
good luck
There is a great book entitled How to Do YOUr Own Divorce in California. It is a good read re the current laws (be sure to get a current edition..things change) It has been a while since my last divorce and I have never had a lawyer, though sometimes it might have helped . It is not necessary to do it yourself but you should be armed with independent information. I believe it is still customary for the person with the lower income to receive half of the other person's income for half as many years as they were married. I never did and that may be the advantage of hiring a good lawyer who is not interested in how much money he can make but how fairly he can work things out. If children are involved it is always important to think of the long term effects on them of this dramatic change in the family . Best of luck to your friend. N.
It may even itself out after alimoney and child support. My mom and dad got divorced after 25yrs of marriage. My mom made more money than my dad and I don't know the numbers, but I know that my dad ended up getting a lot of alimony as well as much of her retirement. Divorce is never fun, I wish your friend luck. California is all about 50/50, so that is true.... they may even need to sell property and split 50/50... she needs a good lawyer.
There really is no good way of getting a divorce. But it is true California is 50/50 and a no fault state we can thank
Hollywood for that. But it does have un adultery law if you can prove that the person used income for there affair which was household money you are entitled to half of it back. Bright side you also get half of the assets. If your married more the 10yrs the percentage of spousal support goes up that is base on income.
She needs to get a second opinion. Sounds like her attorney doesn't want to work for his money. Spousal support is based on each of thier incomes and the attorney should fight for enough spousal support to cover the bills that she will be left with.
MG, I am not an attorney, but I did go through a divorce, and it is the law that assets & liabilities are split 50/50, but your friend should get marital support based on both their incomes. If there are kids involved, that adds another dimension of support. Your friend may not be understanding the attorney, in which case she should talk to one she can communicate with. I know and excellent female family law attorney: Rachel Baer .
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Your friend should not stress...with the right attorney she should get a fair settlement.
M G,
You don't have to wrap your brain around it. After 30 years of marriage, if one spouse makes a lot more then the other, there is property to be settled, and they can't seem to agree; the judge can order the property be sold and assets are split 50% - 50%.
If alimony is in order, the judge will so order. (Your friend needs to ask for what she wants and hopefully she won't say---I don't want anything extra--forget about that)!
If your friend’s attorney isn't properly representing her, perhaps she needs a second opinion.
She should however, be very careful, because attorney's can be sort of, "vultures" and the two attorneys may be playing both ends against the middle while laughing over double martini's! Your friend needs to be sure her attorney is not her husbands attorney’s golf partner.
Blessings….
It is REALLy Unfair sometimes....I guess there are some cases whre thr husband gets screwed and some where thr wife does. I had similiar expierience with an ivestment. Most of MY $$$ went to that, and when we divorced he got 1/2 of the profits and we split all else 50/50 too. Because it's a mutual property state whatever you make in income, debt you accrue, etc..Is all split 50/50. They will need to balance all assests and liablites so each is worth the same "net". This maybe one issue she takes or leaves in lieu of another account or property...?
Make sure she stands firm on the alimony and/or child supprt, if applicable..as that is where things might seem more fair. Otherwise, I went through the same frustrations. :(
Yes, the attorney is correct. CA is a 50/50 state, but depending on the attorney for the husband, if there has been any type of discussion, they might be able to change it so that is it income based, but that is highly unlikely.
The other thing your friend could say is that because the almost now ex-husband made the decision to purchase the 2nd house, then he is responsible for that one and your friend is responsible for the 1st house. Depending on how much of a difference her income is from his will depend on the judge. Her attorney doesn't sound like a person who can handle the fight or create the fight to get her what she needs.
She may have to take on 50% of the bills, but she will also be getting 50% of the assets, because California is a community property state.
It sounds as if there are two issues:
1) division of property and assets acquired during the marriage and 2) spousal and/or child support.
Assets include retirement income. I do know that the wealthier spouse can be required to pay the attorney costs of the less wealthier spouse. I concur that your friend look for a new attorney.
California is, in fact, a community property state. That means that in the event of a divorce, each spouse is entitled to 50% of any assets or wealth acquired during the marriage. Real estate would definitely fall into that category. The disposition of debts is generally something that is negotiated or ordered by the judge. I am not an attorney, and don't know the details of your friend's situation, but from what you have said, it sounds like one of those homes might need to be sold. Wishing your friend luck.
Some marriages go in what they have & or if they made nupitals before they married. I have never married, I don't think I want to. It depends on the agreement the couple made. It sads after many years a person wants to get divorced.
It sounds like your friend maybe needs a new attorney... that is the problem when someone gets a divorce... what attorney do you get. Are you in Sacramento? Kristine Cummins (Madison Avenue, Carmichael) is a fabulous attorney who has balls and will go in and fight for her client and will not charge an arm & a leg.
I had this attorney that sucked eggs and I was getting screwed over. I had moved out of state already and was panicked because jerkface was getting everything and I was really getting screwed over. I went online and found an attorney who referred me to Kristine. She went in and put everyone in their place and jerkface even fired his attorney and got another who was useless against Kristine.
Just my thoughts...
