Wicked Moods

Holy Cow you sound like all of us. I have 8 children and it got a little worse with every one of them, no tolerance, no patience, no personal space, etc. You are very normal, but still somehow you have to find a way to be nice. Fake it if you have to, because these are the people that love you the most. I also went for walks when I couldn't do anything else, went to the park with the kids, just to have a change of scenery.

I was moody when I was pregnant. Fish oil helps mood swings. I take 1TBS in a bit of lemonade a few days a week (maybe everyday at first). It helps!

K. Loidolt
Author, Shopper's Guide to Healthy Living

A. - after having eight children (4 boys and 4 girls) I realized I have a more difficult time when pregnant with girls. It was so bad that I felt that I was having a breakdown. I wasn't like that when not pregnant - and not like that when pregnant with my boys either. I don't know if has something to do with girls and girl type hormones on top of mine??? However - please know you are not alone in this.

Dear A.,
First of all Congratulations!
Yes, you are pregnant, but there are some things you can do. The test for thyroid that has been suggested is a possibility. Low thyroid in pregnancy can cause serious problems for the fetus- it also could cause all sorts of problems for you. But more commonly, besides fatigue due to being on overload, look at your DIET! Are you really nourishing yourself and baby? Are you intaking caffeine, as has also been mentioned? It can cause a real drain as can chocolate and sugar! Are you taking really good prenatal vitamins? I really think that the Dr.s are trying when they give women the prescription variety, but they pale in comparison to the natural vitamins you can get at the Health Food store for Pregnancy. The down side is you usually have to take 3-6/day depending on the recommendation, but it's totally worth it. My ninth pregnancy was wonderful largely in part to the great prenatal Vits. that I found- and I had a very healthy baby born at home @ almost 43 and felt great too!
Also Kelp is a good balancer. It, by itself has a very good range of vitamins and minerals. But first and foremost, I found that Nutritional yeast- it is Brewer's yeast with Folic acid added- a couple of tablespoons in some orange juice was the best for mood swings and being "upset" and crying a lot.

Do Not diet- eat really well- leave the sugar and refined foods for a once in a while treat, eat your broccoli, dark green lettuce, good veggies, fruit, whole grains and of course red meat if your not a vegetarian. Dairy is great too as a protein- which is very good to keep your protein up, remember though that dairy doesn't have iron to help build your blood. That's where good prenatals will help too.

Walk walk walk ! Go alone sometimes, but bring the kids- put them both in a stroller, or have the three year old ride her trike...fresh air, green trees, blue sky!(I hear it's almost spring but we are expecting snow again!)You could even bring hubby!

You can improve your emotional and physical stability. Realize you need to give yourself some space and appreciate that you are really doing a lot of hard work! Let go some of the things that you are doing that are not essential. Keep the house as clean as you can, but don't get obsessed with order. Being a mom is the greatest and the most challenging thing you will ever do! It is also, by far the most rewarding.
Do what you have control over- those things mentioned above and monitor yourself to see how you are improving. If you still are struggling, then see your (I prefer Midwife) health care professional to get some answers, maybe they feel you need some labs drawn etc.
Remember yourself in your prayers as well! You need those blessings for you, your family and your new little one.

Take Care and God Bless,
H. B. mom (mother of many-9)

A. - I'm no doctor but you are certainly not alone! During my pregnancy, the very sound of my husband's voice was enough to send me into a temper tantrum - and he is the love of my life and soulmate! My 3 year old step daughter could do no right, either. I was sleeping just fine so I couldn't use that as an excuse, but I had to make a very real effort to think before I spoke.

My best advice is to find a moment of clarity and have a very honest talk with your husband. Make sure he knows how much you love him and explain to him how you are feeling. He won't understand but he'll appreciate that you KNOW you are being a bear and it might be a little easier to let things roll off his back. I promise, your hormones will adjust themselves eventually and you'll be back to your sweet self! Good Luck!

M.

Try homeopathic calm drops or stress mints by historical remedies (whole foods or Vitamin Cottage)----worked great for me and won't hurt the baby :-)

You poor thing - I know just how you feel and I'm in the same boat right now. I am a full-time working mom of a 5 year old and my husband and I have been married 6 1/2 years, I'm 6 mos. pregnant with our daughter and at my last OB appointment I told my doctor I was hostile and my family just can't take it anymore.

He recommended I take vitamin-B, a B-complex. It is safe during pregnancy, doesn't work overnight, but after a few days it has helped me calm down and not be so witchy with out of this world mood swings.

I too am terribly ornery and then I feel bad about being that way with my family and I cry and I was having as hard a time being this way as they were having dealing with me.

It seems to have helped even though I don't get enough sleep and have some other complications that make me a high-risk pregnancy, it really has made me more even-tempered.

Best of luck to you sweetie, pregnancy is hard work and we sometimes need that little extra bit of help to get through the day. Try the B-complex and see if it helps!

You are not crazy. Hormones will do that. You are pregnant and have kids, you are exhausted (or most likely that's true). Give yourself a break. There is an end in sight, just remind yourself and your husband of that when it gets to being too much. He could help and let you go sleep it off for a while too.

Going through menopause I didn't even want to be near me. It will pass.

good luck

Check, check, and... Check. Yep. Totally normal. I had a 2 year old and twin babies when I got pregnant with my fourth. At 7.5 months, my twins were turning 1, so I definitely know exactly what you're talking about. I also had an extremely short fuse, low tolerance, no patience, mood swings... the whole bit. I don't think there's really much you can do except take care of yourself. Give yourself breaks once in a while, get a massage(prenatal, of course), pedicure, go shopping, whatever releases tension for you. It was pretty awful of your husband to actually say that to you about being a miserable person to be around. Hopefully it wasn't as mean as it sounds in your question. If he's part of the problem, talk with him about it. If he's not, just remember that you're the one carrying the baby, but everyone feels the effects of a pregnancy in some way or another. I don't have any great suggestions, but just know that you're not alone. I found my emotional problems and mood swings to be much worse with my third pregnancy than with the others. Probably because there were more kids in the house to take care of and more stress to deal with on a daily basis. And dang it! Being 7.5 months pregnant is just plain uncomfortable! It will be better soon. Hang in there.

I'm wondering if your thyroid level has been checked. You might want to ask your doctor about this. I have had low thyroid since my first pregnancy, and before it was discovered, I remember feeling angry, emotional, having a hard time concentrating, and being exhausted. I take a low dose of thyroid replacement hormone, and it has made all the difference.
You could also have low iron (common at this point in the pregnancy). You have many demands on your time and energy from little ones--maybe you can get some help from family or friends so you can have a "break" once in a while, or just to get some rest. Hope this helps!

Hormones make me a beast. I can't take birth control pills because--BEAST! I wasn't so great to be with when I was pregnant either. I actually went on a low dose of Celexa at the end of my pregnancy that I carried to term--it helped to balance me back out and make life bearable for my dh as well. Don't be afraid to explore medical options. Especially if there is any history of depression/anxiety in your family. In mine it is common especially during the child bearing years.

lack of sleep, feeling overwhelmed,feeling under appreciated, not getting the help you need, two children to test your patience, basically stress. invest in pamper moments and extra help

I had by boys close together (1, 3, 4 right now)...some of the "ups and downs" of moods is from post-pardum hitting pregnancy...those two sets of hormones are not harmonious:) I'm sure there are food, sleep, and exercise patterns that could help. Exercising is big for me. Look into some things and hang in there. I don't know if you're a Christian or not, but in my case I got down on my knees a lot alone and with my husband (and even my children) to pray through those moods. I hope that you can find outlets that work for you.

I started having thyroid problems after I had my first duaghter. I am now pregnant with our fourth and I experienced similar feelings. My husband joked that we needed to tell people we were expecting so they would know why I was so onery. I am usually not an onery or angry person. I didn't experience this with my other pregnancies but this time my thyroid levels were off. My OBGYN has been monitoring them frequently and I am back to myself. You might want to have your thyroid and hormone levels checked. I was amazed at the effects my thyroid can have on me. Being more tired is also a symptom. Good luck.

My sister gets the same way. Her husband wants more kids but she's said she doesn't think their marriage would survive another pregnancy. She just get ornery. She knows it, but doesn't seem to be able to do anything about it. I lived with her during her third pregnancy and the one and ONLY fight we have EVER had occurred then. (Her kids were spaced about like yours, too) It just happens to some women. Hormones are nuts while you're pregnant. You can try to deal, but it's also a good idea to just talk to your sweetheart about how you're feeling and just request a little extra understanding and help. It's not a bad idea to hire a little help, too. That's why I lived with my sister, to help her keep things going while she felt so yucky. I cleaned and helped with dinner and bedtime...Hope this helps! Good luck! Remember, this too shall pass!

I can relate about anger during pregnancy. I am not a violent person but during each of my pregnancies at least one person angered me so much I punched them. Hard enough to leave a bruise. And one time I had my younger brother (he was 20)held up against a wall by his throat. Afterwards I felt horrible for letting myself get that way. AND I to have been told that I am a miserable person to be around when I am pregnant. For me it was because of all the hormones that rage through the body during pregnancy. With two tots and a baby on the way your are way stressed out physically and mentally now on top of it hormonally. I can't give you any good advice because i didn't know what to do about my situation until after my last baby was born. I did find ways to relax myself though cammomile tea. Baths, naps when I could. At 7.5 mo along I pretty much quit doing any chores unless it was absolutely required. For instance no clean clothes in the house I would wash a couple of loads and leave the rest. No forks, wash them in a cup while dinner was cooking. Basically I cheated until I after I had my last one. I also took my kids to the park alot. I mean alot! The walk destressed me and ran them out of energy. I know this isn't alot and I hope the other moms gave you more advice . I just wanted to say that I understand and relate to what you are going through.

I am a mother of four and I'm pregnant with number five. I am the same way....I get really mean. I have learned to control it better with each pregnancy. You know when you start to boil over so as you feel your reaching that point, go to time out; in your room or whereever to think things out and calm down.

I'm 6 1/2 months with a 4 1/2 and 1 1/2 yo and totally relate. I have noticed that the more rested I am, the better. Also, taking pre natal vitamins seems to give me more energy. Also thyroid can play in on it. Mine goes crazy during pregnancy. It's an easy blood test iwth results the same day or the next day. I also seem nicer if I'm not having caffiene. That one is probably the hardest for me since I'm so tired these days. If you can't find a solution, it's worth asking you doctor the next time you're in. They may know some other blood work that would give you an answer. GL and congratulations on the newest to come!

my advice may not be too helpful, but yes, i've been that way during pregnancy, and after. i've found that it has a lot to do with hormone levels. sleep deprivation definitely makes it worse. while you're pregnant, i would suggest paying someone to do household chores or play with the kids. i paid a 12 yr old girl from church to do whatever chore was driving me crazy that day and then take the kids outside so i could sleep or just have some quiet. because of her age and the level of work, she didn't mind being paid just a few dollars an hour. also, doing creative things helps me calm my anger. after pregnancy, st. john's wort helped a lot with my moods. don't take a progestin-only pill for birth control. it will make your moods and thinking worse because it is a depressant. those are the things i've tried and i'm keeping prozac as a choice on the back burner if my moods get out of control during this pregnancy. i have not actually used that particular antidepressant before, but it seems to be the one obgyn's feel is safest. good luck!

A.,
Well a lot of the "problem" is just that you are in a stage of life that is crazy exhausting! I think a lof of us mothers can relate (I sure can). I don't know what your diet is, but if you go to blueribbonbaby.org/com,and follow the Brewer Diet, that's the best pregnancy diet out there--you can check your nutrition level to see if you are lacking. Here is something else that you should definately do--a pregnancy tea. You can get these 4 items at your local Vitamin Cottage: Add together...
1 Part nettles
1/2 Part alfalfa
1 Part Raspberry leaf
1/2 Part oatstraw

Mix together and put a handful into a pot of boiling water. Add a sweetener while hot, like Agave nectar (low glycemic index), or honey. Stir in. Replace the lid and turn the stove off. Let the tea steep for a few hours or overnight and then filter the leaves in the morning into a large iced tea jar. Add water to fill the jar up and you have a good iced tea that you should drink TONS of everyday. (I went through at least 1 jar every day/ day-and-a-half. This tea is supportive of your placenta and entire system. It's a great way to add tons of nutrients to your body, and maintain your high need of fluids during pregnancy (especially if you don't like water)--which helps you feel tons better too. It's also a blood cleanser, meaning that it helps remove toxins from your system (it's not a diaretic) Drinking this tea and tons of fluids really helped my system not be overloaded with excess hormones and helped balance my mood. You can also get Wish Garden anxiety drops at your local health store--they have ones specifically for pregnant women. Have you done anything for yourself lately? Go get your nails done, or your legs waxed ;) (slighly painful, but helps you feel like a girl again.) I always got a new hairstyle when I was pregnant. Go on a date with your husband. If you are really struggling with anger and don't know why, get counseling--HAVE SOMEONE (not your husband) TO VENT TO--(my prenatal visits with my midwife always went 2 hours because she let me just express all my stresses) This is important; anger and bent-up emotions will carry into your delivery and can suppress, stop, even reverse the progress of your labor. I highly recommend "Ina May's Guide to Pregnancy" by Ina May Gaskin, premier midwife in the world. It's a fun book to read, with lots of information on being a pregnant woman and how to help yourself have the best delivery possible. I enjoyed this much more than all the techie books written about pregnancy--this one engaged my heart and my emotions along with my body.
Best of Luck Mommy!
J.
Mommy and Birth Advocate

This is a wonderful website with great parenting skills that will help. http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/index.html

I found it so helpful! Your normal in my opinion just getting an opportunity for growth as a parent. Just keep in mind the sense of satisfaction you'll have as you overcome the natural tendencies we all have as a parent to yell etc. I feel like life is about overcoming our natural man tendencies and mastering those things that are a weakness. Remember "YOU CAN DO THIS"! Good luck.

Remember hormones rage during pregnancy, but that doesn't mean we should give into them. Acknowledge your feelings and also realize what its like to be your child. Think about what they are feeling as you yell at them-would you feel loved? would you want to be your own child? How do you want your family to remember you? All the best. i've so been there.

Hang in there! It is most likely a combo of hormones-gone wild and lack of sleep. I am feeling very much like that after the birth of my third child, I feel like all my empathy has gone out the window and the kids really get on my nerves. I just "fake" it - try not to act like I am annoyed, because I feel like this will pass in a few months as I get used to taking on all his extra responsibility. I am sure it will do the same for you.

Ask your husband to pitch in a bit more. You could also talk to your doc about possible depression- Zoloft made a world of difference for me with this pregnancy. Again just chalk it up to the hormones!!

A.,
I am so sorry that You have problems...
I would say: you might really be very tired, as little ones take a lot of your energy, plus you carry another treasure...
Food, of course, may be no coffee, and see what is calming you down, not agitating.. it is very personal, just start paying attention to it...
a great help would be if you could go walk in the nature: woods, park at least, river, creek, and let the kids run wild there, while you can just walk around and breath deep, and look up in the sky and enjoy the greenery around... this reconnection would be beneficial to all of you.
maybe, you want to talk to the good counselor and ask for some advice, or your dear husband wants to ask the counselor how to better help you as you need his help and kind heart who understands that you are somehow exhausted...
it is spring time and a lot of great energy is waking the nature: maybe it will bring flowers into your heart again,
because actually you have a great time when your little ones are all around you, and can bring you tons of joy
( my kids are 25, 23, and 17, and i truly miss the time when they were your children's age, although we are great friends now as well).
I wish you all the very best: never give up, and seek to find the joyful flow of energy!

Gosh, this certainly reminds me of my last pregnancy about 3 yrs ago...My 1st one was almost magical, the 2nd was difficult but I had other moms to hang with but the 3rd was the most trying mainly because I was so busy taking care of the family and there was no time for me. You certainly need some time away from kids and relax. I call it time out. My husband would ofcourse say that it is "the bed I made and I must now lie in it". Is is really just the woman's decision to have multiple children? It really no wonder you're stressing. It's just not easy. If at all possible demand some time out for you or the consequence is the wicked mommy. I don't think it's unreasonable at all. Good luck and laugh as much as possible and be close to a bathroom....

I hear what you're saying. I found when I shaped up what I ate I felt much better about myself and in turn about my life and was able to be nicer to my family. During my last pregnancy I started off eating macaroni and cheese and hot dogs for lunch every day and ended up eating baked whole grains and high quality meats. I decided to study up on nutrition and it made a huge deal for me. Since then I've really enjoyed being a student of nutrition and have found Isagenix. (Which couldn't have come at a better time) Isagenix has taken my health to the next level and almost all of their products are for people of any age. Good Luck! Let me know if you'd like more info on books or Isagenix.

A.,
You've gotten some really great advice. I would like to add one thing. I have to take my "B Happy" vitamins. B Vitamins are so helpful regulating mood. Also giving great energy. I find that if I forget to take my B complex for a few days, I am a crab. Also you can take some St John's Wart. It shouldn't hurt the baby either since it is found naturally in nature.
Good luck with your new one and congratulations

I could have written your request myself. I, too, go through fits of rage and can chalk them all up to hormonal changes during my pregnancy (I'm 7 mos w/#3).

Here's what I've done so far:

- Hired a housekeeper. She comes once a month to deep clean. It is a huge burden off of my mindset.

- Got a part-time daycare for my 22-mo old. That way, I can go do whatever I want w/out the stress of toting around for 3-4 hours 2-3 times per week. It is some of the best money I've ever spent.

- Got a personal trainer. I found a really inexpensive trainer close to my house that makes me exercise. Physically, I feel better (because my hips always give me problems during pregnancy) and I sleep better at night.

- Enlisted the help of family. I just recently had a talk with my husband and 12 year old daughter about taking some of the stress off of me around the house. They've both pitched in w/no complaints. My mom also comes over more often to help out with my son.

- Diet. I eat really good and take my prenatals and a DHA/EPA supplement (known to help with postpartum depression and brain development in the fetus).

- Get a good night's sleep. The peace of mind I got from implementing the above suggestions went a long way to helping me sleep better at night. Oh, and I drink minimal fluids in the evenings so I don't have to get up and pee in the middle of the night!

Everyone is different so try a variety of things until you find what works for you. Take as many mini-breaks as you can so you get the mental and physical rest you need. Good luck!

I had the same problems during my pregnancy with my second child and it continued into post-partum. I highly encourage you to get some help and get some rest-this is something that I did not do, and I really should have. What did finally do that helped immensly, was to go see a naturopathic physician (Eric Dorninger ###-###-####). He was able to help me with my diet, which completley helped. I had been a vegetarian for 17 years and now I eat meat, which has stablized my moods. I also take about 2tbsp of fish oil a day. Another thing I started taking was Bach Flower Rescue Remedy-it has a very claming effect.
Good luck and hope you feel better soon!

A.: I had that for a very short time. My patience was short after about mid-morning with two very young boys at home. Come to find out, I was anemic! Check it out. Maybe you are, too. I was back to my wonderful self after taking care of that problem. Let me know. I will bet that is it. K. :-)

oh honey!
You are completely normal, i went through the same thing. In my case, i needed to make sure everything was perfect and that everyting was ready for when my third arrived(girl 3, boy 18 months, girl 6months). I was also working full time and exhausted!!!! Make sure you take time out for yourself, to nap, to get out(no kids), to read, relax, etc. As far as you hubby, tell him your sorry about how you've been behaving, but that you ARE hormonal and really can't control it. good luck!

Dear A.,
you are not crazy, you are pregnant! These are completely normal reactions to the hormones you are filled with during a pregnancy. the most important thing is to get some respite. Arrange for some child care a couple of days a weeks to give yourself a break. Treat yourself to a bath, a manicure or whatever helps you feel relaxed. Let your partner do more on the weekends and evenings - baths, playground trips, grocery shopping, etc, so you can put your feet up and relax. Being more sensitive and irritable is how it takes some women, unfortunately, but you will want to get this under control before the baby arrives. Having a good respite plan in place will help even more when you have 3 kids to care for!

take care, S.

S. L. Blumberg, Ph.D.
Family & Relationship Options

Hi A.,
I agree with the others here: it sounds like a fairly normal response to your situation. You're entering that "nesting" stage of pregnancy when you feel a need to get everything in order, clean, etc. and you've got toddlers! Also, pregnancy hormones will certainly play havoc with your moods. Lack of certain nutrients in your diet can exacerbate any hormonal imbalances. Most pregnant women benefit from 1-2 eggs a day and cod liver oil or fish oil can be very helpful to support moods (and the health of your baby).
Try to remember, this is not a permanent condition (although I totally understand the feeling that it goes on forever!). Be gentle with yourself. It might also help your family if you sit them down and explain to them how you are feeling and why.
Good luck with these final few weeks and with your delivery!

A.,

Of course you are sleep deprived! You've got a 3 and 1 year old and your 7.5 months pregnant. I had my two boys 16 months apart and am well aware of the symptoms. Your dear hubby needs to kick in and make sure you're getting enough rest for your soon new addition to the family. A happy life is a happy wife and don't let him forget it!!!

J.

I think it's because you have a 3 year old, a 1 year old, AND you are pregnant! You're sleep deprived and exhausted from chasing two little ones and being pregnant. You need to enlist the help of the father. He is not helping by saying you are miserable to be around. He needs to help in the morning before he goes to work. When he comes home from work he needs to be in charge of the kids. AND/OR find another mom to do trades with. You need a chance to put up your feet and take a nap. You need a break.