32 answers

Why Don't People r.s.v.p.?(updated)

Here i am with 3 hours until my daughters 3rd birthday party. Ive organized everything perfectly according to the number of people i thought were coming. Well....... apparently there will be at least 7 or 8 more than i accounted for. I think i can whip up some extra food but i am without the proper amount of goodie bags.

No time to do anything, I am alone here and there already some kids outside on the moonwalk. I feel as if there will be at least 3 or 4 kids without a goodie bag. Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal but it will be to the kids.

what do i do?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I ended up making all the bags smaller to fill up 5 more (i already had a few extra)....but then 2 of the families that didnt rsvp but siad they were coming last minute .....didnt come at all. Oh well,,,,,,,,,next time i will leave the bags alone.

Featured Answers

Don't sweat it, the children who responded get the goodie bags and the kids who's ignorant parents didn't don't. Let their parents explain to them why they didn't get one. Or go up to each parent who gave in their rsvp and give them the bag without any children seeing so the children who do not get one will not feel left out. Tell the parents of the kids who didn't respond sorry but I didn't expect you!! Maybe next time they will do the right thing!!

8 moms found this helpful

I am having birthday party today too. I sent an evite a month ago asking people to rsvp by last week since we were have the party at a party place where you pay per kid. I was still getting rsvp's yesterday (5 days after deadline) and getting text today from people asking to bring siblings. I just don't understand why people are so lacking in etiquette and manners these days.
A college student told me a while back that they don't rsvp to things because they like to wait and see what all their options were for the weekend before deciding. Just in case something better comes along. Is this happening in the kid/adult world too?

7 moms found this helpful

I would totally say to the parents who didn't RSVP, "Ohhh I didn't know you were coming!" in a very syrupy sweet passive aggressive sort of way. Don't know what to tell you about disappointing the extra kids. I feel bad for them - it's not their fault their parents didn't RSVP.

6 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Ensure that those that did RSVP have one. If you run out of food, the kids won't care. But when the other parents come in, say..."Oh, I didn't know you were coming." And the more that trickle in, "I hope I have enough. I only got a (x) RSVP's."

Personally, I don't know how someone can't take 60 seconds out of there day to shoot an email, text or pick up the phone to RSVP to an event because it CLEARLY makes it so much easier for the host/hostess! And don't give me that, "I don't have time." Because how much time does it take to prepare for a party.

@AV: I can't believe that people actually can't figure out RSVP to xxx-xxx-xxxx or (insert email addy here). I think those people are just inconsiderate. They are likely the one's that drop off late and pick up late too.

But in the future, A., you could simply put "Regrets only." to accommodate the busy lives of your guests.

Hope you and your daughter have a wonderful 3rd birthday. It will be fun...so have a good time! And take pictures!

ETA:
And I am very busy, like everyone else. I'm also organizationally-challenged so I stick that invite where I will see it, and tape it on a cabinet in front of my face, if I have to, so I don't forget. Why? Because if there is an RSVP, that means the hostess wants to know if a guest will be coming. Manners: It's about making others feel valued and appreciated. Always.

9 moms found this helpful

YIKES!! How rude of people!!!

I would ensure that the kids that RSVP'd got the goodie bags.

It may be rude, but it IS honest...and this might teach the parent a lesson:
"Thank you so much for coming!!! I wanted to give you a heads up - I'm sorry - I didn't know you were going to be here...you didn't RSVP so Johnny doesn't have a goodie bag....I will try to get back to the store tomorrow and bring one by."

8 moms found this helpful

Don't sweat it, the children who responded get the goodie bags and the kids who's ignorant parents didn't don't. Let their parents explain to them why they didn't get one. Or go up to each parent who gave in their rsvp and give them the bag without any children seeing so the children who do not get one will not feel left out. Tell the parents of the kids who didn't respond sorry but I didn't expect you!! Maybe next time they will do the right thing!!

8 moms found this helpful

Because some people are so self centered, they just assume everybody will be so happy to see them, they do not need to RSVP.

Because they do not think RSVP means it is for them, it is for the other people.

Because they do not know what it means, they were born under rocks.

Because they think RSVP is a fancy thing for Fancy people and they do not play those fancy ways.

Because they do not think about the time and thought some people put into their parties.

I would either not hand out the bags, or slip them to the parents of the kids that did RSVP.

I am sorry, this happened.... We need to teach our own children the rules of manners, I promise it does make a difference and leaves an impression on others.

8 moms found this helpful

I am having birthday party today too. I sent an evite a month ago asking people to rsvp by last week since we were have the party at a party place where you pay per kid. I was still getting rsvp's yesterday (5 days after deadline) and getting text today from people asking to bring siblings. I just don't understand why people are so lacking in etiquette and manners these days.
A college student told me a while back that they don't rsvp to things because they like to wait and see what all their options were for the weekend before deciding. Just in case something better comes along. Is this happening in the kid/adult world too?

7 moms found this helpful

On my invitations, whether it's "correct form" or not, I do not care, I just flat out say that they need to let me know if they're coming by a certain day. I've been surprised with people NOT showing up who said they were coming, and I've been surprised with people showing up when they did not RSVP. So now, I'm pretty blunt. On my son's invitation for yesterday's party (which was great, yay!) I filled in the blanks on the store-bought card but then wrote on the top in the blank space "__ is having a Star Wars party at our house, and we hope you will join us! To insure that I have enough pizza, cake, and prizes, please respond by Wednesday the 19th. We look forward to seeing you!" and then left my home, cell, and email. Is that what Ms Manners would do? Probably not but oh well. This is the first year that EVERYONE that said they were showing did, and those that did not rsvp (2 children) did not show up. It worked perfectly. I'll be doing it again next year. As for your current dilemma: hmm. Yeah, I'd skip the goody bags probably (if there's not enough), and just dump the stuff in my trick or treat bowl. If you have enough or can stretch it out, cool, but otherwise, scrap it and enjoy the party.

7 moms found this helpful

Thank you! This seems to be an epidemic. Every party I have had for my kids has gone like this. My SIL just had this problem on Saturday. Apparently, the answer is to call each and every invited guest and ask them if they are coming. Maybe they don't understand what RSVP means. I always RSVP immediately after getting the invitation so I don't forget (how do you forget if you are GOING!?) or I make myself an e-note to rsvp. Give the kids whose parents didn't rsvp a piece of candy and tell the moms you didn't know they were coming because THEY DIDN'T RSVP!!! It's so RUDE. I just don't understand. The last party I even wrote out, "Please let me know if you are coming or if you cannot attend by 0/00/00 so that I can plan for enough food and goodies--thanks so much!!!" Only half the people responded & I ended up calling them anyway. Get some manners people!!

7 moms found this helpful

RSVP is a lot like Thank you notes and has just been forgotten... it seems.

I've had parties where I had to lock in a head count 3 days before and be locked in to pay the $30 per person. My strategy....

I call and ask the parent or guest if they were planning to attend because I have to lock in my number. Sometimes they are embarrassed and will rsvp on the spot.

As for not having enough goodie bags.... only give the bags to kids who did rsvp that is only fair and when asked otherwise, say I am so sorry but I did not know you were coming.

6 moms found this helpful

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.