21 answers

Why Do Men Gripe over the Stupidest Things???

I swear I think DH searches for things to gripe about just to gripe. Maybe he's bored, maybe he needs something more entertaining in his life, maybe he tries to get a rise out of me and thinks my frustration is funny...either way, what's the point???

Tonight, DH was helping me with the dishes and was wondering why I used so many knives between last night and this evening. It upset him that 3 extra knives had to be cleaned and it was a waste of water and money to use so many utensils. I told him I run the dishwasher once daily and didn't see a big deal in washing 3 extra pieces of silverware. I mean, if I was going to run the dishwasher anyways, what was thet big deal? It's not like I'm gonna need to do an extra load of dishes just for these extra knives. He didn't like that I wasn't more concerned about conserving water and money so his reaction was, well since you don't pay the bills I guess you don't have any reason to be concerned about money anyways.

I WAS LIVID! I know he only said that b/c he was upset but really...why get upset over something so stupid??? He's acting like he's looking for a fight. Acting like he's upset about something, but having it come out in a subject so trivial. He can't be upset over this...can he? He did have a very hard day at work and is very tired. But, really that shouldn't matter b/c I don't care how hard of a day you have, you don't take it out on other people.

Do you have a DH or SO that argues and complains about the stupidest things? Do Tell!

Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better now.

1 mom found this helpful

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Thanks so much, Moms for your responses! I love hearing everyone's views and even personal stories. I will absolutely take all your advice into account in the future. Ya'll are great!

Featured Answers

Next time he fusses about the cost of water and soap to wash something, tell him that perhaps you should just forego having sex with him since you have to wash off afterwards. That'll shock his butt so hard he should shut up!

D.

15 moms found this helpful

You know, what really works for me if I'm the one feeling grouchy and complaining is when my husband puts his arms around me and repeats back the gripe I've just expressed. Like, "Honey, I'm hearing that you'd really like me to put the pizza pan back in the left end of the pan rack. It's frustrating for you to have to hunt for it every time I've put the dishes away. I'll work on that."

He doesn't remember next time, and he still sticks it somewhere creative and invisible. But it's easier to forgive him, knowing that he heard why it bugs me. I do the same listening/paraphrasing process with him. It works really well.

10 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Next time he fusses about the cost of water and soap to wash something, tell him that perhaps you should just forego having sex with him since you have to wash off afterwards. That'll shock his butt so hard he should shut up!

D.

15 moms found this helpful

I have been married for 42 years....and believe me..it doesn't change!! What CAN change is your reaction to is...when my husband grumbles and growls about some silly little thing like that my standard response is "Oh Honey if I didn't give you something to growl about you would go DAYS without talking to me" And I give him a silly grin. Normally...he laughs....I laugh and the whole thing is forgotten.
Men and Women operate on totally different spheres...women deal with emotions, feelings, HORMONES...men deal with FACTS !!! Your answer is in your last paragraph..he was tired..he had a hard day..maybe someone had just gotten on his LAST nerve at work but of course he couldnt take it out on them...so he brought it home where it felt safe to let a little steam off.
Maybe you could have put down your sponge, or towel ...gone over and wrapped your arms around him...give him a big kiss and say something like "Sounds like you must have had a rough day at work today...I am sorry".
It takes two to fight...so if you refuse to fight...it will al blow over a lot sooner!!

13 moms found this helpful

I think it's all relative. Woman complain about some petty and stupid things, too. I'm sure my husband has a list about me, just as long (or longer) as my list about him!!

12 moms found this helpful

Why do men gripe about the stupidest things? Probably for the same reason women do....I know because I see it here on this site every day :-) sorry, that was just plain rude, maybe I need to take my tired self to bed now LOL

10 moms found this helpful

OK quick story...we HAD to go to Super Evil Mart one night (No Other Option - or believe me, Id have taken it) We're heading out to checkout with the necessary thing and he grabs a can of Bush's Baked Beans. "I'm getting there..." Really? Because we have 5 cans just llike it at home! We're at the all time consumer trap mega center offering 2 zillion items, and you just HAVE to have THAT can of baked beans???? LOL

OH!!! The sugar comment reminded me of this one. When "his" toothpaste is getting low in the tube, he leaves it out in the middle of the bathroom counter, I guess as a 'signal" to me to replace it. This can go on for 5 to 7 days. Really? Dude! Two steps to the cupboard and Violå! there's the new one.

10 moms found this helpful

You know, what really works for me if I'm the one feeling grouchy and complaining is when my husband puts his arms around me and repeats back the gripe I've just expressed. Like, "Honey, I'm hearing that you'd really like me to put the pizza pan back in the left end of the pan rack. It's frustrating for you to have to hunt for it every time I've put the dishes away. I'll work on that."

He doesn't remember next time, and he still sticks it somewhere creative and invisible. But it's easier to forgive him, knowing that he heard why it bugs me. I do the same listening/paraphrasing process with him. It works really well.

10 moms found this helpful

My husband and I own a business together, and today he yelled - literally yelled - at me because he didn't feel I was enthusiastic enough about a project he wants to do. I told him, very calmly, that I didn't feel the project met with our company objectives for this year, and in fact I was concerned after crunching the numbers that it was too risky a project to take on right now. Well, he absolutely flipped out about that. I don't support him, I'm so negative, blah blah blah! Dude, seriously?! Someone has to keep the company on track financially. He's the creative mind behind the work we do, and I am the one who does the project management - finances, long-term projections, loans, vendor payments. So yeah, SOMEONE has to rein him in if he starts talking crazy! That's how we stay solvent! For him to blame me was a cheap shot for sure.

UGH. Yeah, I'm totally with you. Finally I interrupted DH's tirade to tell him that I had had enough of the conversation, and hung up the phone. He did call later to apologize, but guess who WON'T be cooking dinner tonight? Yeah, that would be me. >:-/

10 moms found this helpful

Just say "I'm sorry", that usually shuts everything down pretty quickly. Don't know why saying we're sorry is so hard when it's really the best thing to do.
Then, keep track of how many I'm sorrys you said each day for a week, that should be interesting. I've been sorry for over a week that I have clothes slung all over the place in our bedroom... due to getting ready for a camping trip and now with no quarters to do the laundry. He keeps griping about when I'm gonna clean it up and I keep saying "I'm sorry, I'll get to it tomorrow". I love it when tomorrow never comes ;)

8 moms found this helpful

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