Why Aren't You Talking?

I would contact early intervention in your state. These are people that are trained in developemental issues. If they are as concerned when they evaluate him, then they will come to your house and do speech therapy.
However, they only work with children from birth until the age of three. So, the longer you wait the harder it could be to have him catch up. If they evaluate him and say there are no concerns, then I would continue to monitor the situation and hope it is nothing. Sometimes they just think quicker than they can speak, this led my 2 year old to start studdering. Once she could verbalize her words correctly the studdering stopped.

Good luck!
H. B.

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Keep encouraging him but don't worry about it. My nephew is 2 and 1/2 and he is not much of a talker either. I just met a little boy that is exactly my daughters age and he speaks way less than she does. Boys take their time with speaking from what I understand.

A way I encouraged my daughter to talk more was I would get down to her eye level and ask her to use her words. (this works great for fits too) When I knew what she wanted I was say....I want my drink Mama...she would say...Dink Mama. I'd say...Drink Please....Dink peese.

If she would grunt or whine about something I would tell her...tell mama what you want. What do you want, use your words so I can understand. If I didn't understand I would guess different things until I got it and usually she would repeat. If she wouldn't repeat or ask for it, I'd atleast get her to say please and thank you and that seemed to encourage more talking. Now she hands and takes stuff from me and says...thanks...to every exchange.

Also if I hand something to her, I say the right words to match what she should say....Thanks Mama. I'd do a lot of narrating throughout the day. "We are going to the car...let's go in the room and get a blanket...first your diaper change and then your nap". I'd verbaly speak out our day. I know she can understand most it but just can't say it back.

Hope this helps.

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T., My grandson is 3 1/2 and has been diagnosed with speech ataxia which means, as I understand it, to mean that his facial muscles don't get the message from his brain to form words. There may be something to do also with the way he uses the muscles because one of the things that they noticed is that he usually held his tongue between his lips. I don't know if this related but he also sucks on his tongue as if nursing.

Because my grandson had a hx of late talkers in his father's family and because the pediatrician seemed to only be mildly concerned my daughter didn't have an evaluation until he was 3 and still only had a vocabulary of about 1-2 dozen words. He was evaluated by a department within the couunty Education Service District.

As Holly said the evaluation and treatment is free and some of the services are reduced at age 3 1/2. We also learned that evaluation and treatment is mandated by law and so getting it done was easy. And the professional people have been wonderful.

He received speech therapy at home until this fall when he was placed in a Head Start classroom so that he could continue to receive speech therapy.

We very much wish we had had him evaluated much earlier. He is learning to talk but he can't talk with his classmates.

By the time he got to Headstart he had become so frustrated and angry that they are now considering that he may have a behavoral disorder. He has always been a happy, outgoing chidl but also strong willed. He began to become oppositional and defiant and this markedly increased in the classroom.

If he had been evaluated earlier his speech therapy would be easier and he probably wouldn't be having behavior issues. Therefore I strongly recommend that you go to the Education Service District and arrange for an evaluation. If he's just slow in learning to talk you will be relieved. If he needs help learning, you can get this started early enough for it to be easier for you and him and to better ensure that he will be ready for sucess in elementary school.

The idea of a speech disorder is quite scary. I am encouraged by his progress and can see that earlier diagnosis and treatment would have been much better than waiting to see.

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Hi Telia,
My son is 19 months. He is saying eeety (kitty) and momma and dadda. That is it. I am concerned, but only because everyone else keeps telling me I should be. My gut tells me he is fine. He does not go to day care, and never has been much of a talker/cryer. We have always given him everything before he needs it. Our fault I suppose. He is too content to talk. :o) His Dr is concerned and is only giving him until 21 months, then he goes in for a full workup (hearing, speech, autism, ect). My friends at work tell me not to be concerned until he is 2. Just know that you are not alone, and don't let other people scare you. Give him some time. My son just started saying the 3 words that he says 2 weeks ago!
hang in there, J.

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Hi, T., after I read your post I ran to the phone to call a friend who two years ago was going through the same thing with her boy... but she wasn't home! So I'll just have to wing it with what info I recall RE what she did...

I remember that her son didn't speak other than mama and da and "bobby" for drink and by by and a few others. Her ped wanted to have him evaluated, but she didn't feel in her gut that there was a problem... like you, she would say, he's only 16 months old! She wanted to work with him on her own, and she somehow decided to try a limited form of sign language. Baby sign language, she called it. She bought a book, (WHY is she not home so I can ask her what book LOL) and after she started reading it, whenever she spoke to her son, she would use sign-language for certain words, like mom and dad and potty and bye bye and eat and drink... well you get the idea! It took about two weeks but he seemed to pick it up fairly quickly, and he would sign back to her... and as he got older, he would sign and say the word. She wants to do this with her next baby, too. Now her son has NO problems being verbal... This was so cool, I wished that I had known about it when my babies were little, regardless!! I would have done it too!!

Good luck to you!! Let us know how it turns out

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I think that a mother's gut instinct is usually, most often correct. But I guess that also means that on occasion, it's wrong. Why not get him checked out? If it turns out that your son does need some extra care in the language department, you'll be thankful to have done so early in his life. On the other hand, if it turns out your instincts were right on the money, then you have that lovely satisfaction of being right...and having proof to boot!

The way I figure it, the more information a mommy has, the better.

Good luck to you.

J.

I pretty much just want to echo what everyone else has said. Get the hearing checked, talk to your ped about maybe seeing a specialist, talk everything out with him. But also I wanted to add that every child is so very different. My oldest was talking in full sentences by her first birthday. My middle child said only a handful of words till she was 2 and a half almost 3 but then she started talking like crazy. And now with my 20 month old she is talking like crazy. Not as much as my oldest but a lot more than my middle. Follow your gut. Momma always knows best. if youre concerned then use your resources and have him checked out. If you think he'll talk when he's ready to......well then youre probubly right. Hang in there.

Ps.....funny little story: When my middle daughter was 2 her grandpa thought it was a hearing issue. To prove to him that it wasnt that I leaned over and whispered in her ear "Mya, do you want a cookie" she started gettin really happy saying "cookie cookie", I looked at grandpa and said "See she hears fine and only talks when she wants" LOL!

This is TOTALLY normal. A lot of boys/men just are not communicators. My son is now 3, but he didn't even say mama until he was 2. He's just started talking in full sentences recently. Boys are just more interested in figuring things out, doing things, and playing. So long as he's normal in all other areas there's NOTHING to worry about. :)

Hi T.,
I have a 19 month old little guy and he was talking just about as much as what you have described your son doing when he was 16 mos. I was worried, but his Dr. was not nor were any of my friends with kids. He's in a playgroup with other little boys his age and they weren't verbalizing anymore than him either. He has in the past couple of months started really beginning to talk. There was no problem or delay. He was just taking in the language before he was ready to start speaking it.
One thing that I did was tell him what I was doing all the time...like I'm handing you your milk or you are eating carrots for lunch and I'm changing your diaper and it really seemed to help.
I wouldn’t really worry about it too much now. He’ll talk when he’s ready.

I wouldn't worry about it, my son didn't talk until he was about 2 yrs old!! Which was when he went into a great daycare, it really helped him being around other kids his age and some at the same speaking level and stuff. I just wouldn't worry about it, it'll come when it's time just keep working with him, but don't worry about it!

I would have to say no, don't be worried. As long as he understands everything you tell him and he can get the point across you're fine. A lot of times, he just doesn't feel the need to talk yet because you already do everything he wants you to, so why learn to talk?! I have a sister-in-law who has a 20mos. daughter who doesn't talk at all, but she doesn't talk to her daughter very much. I have a 2year old whom I have "talked" to (no baby talk) forever and she talks up a storm. But I make her use her words to get her point across. Even if your just bonding on the couch put him on your lap so you guys are face to face and let him see how your mouth moves, etc... always keep it fun and make a VERY big deal every time he makes and effort!

Good luck!
You're a wonderful mom, trust your instincts.

Just wanted to reassure you also and share a story. My son, who is now 17, had a speech problem when he was younger. When he was 4, just before he started preschool, I took him to an ENT specialist. I was concerned because he wasn't talking much, and most of his words were "different". I was the only one that could understand what he said. I thought there was something seriously wrong with him! The Dr. told me that everything was physically normal (after a hearing test and physical exam), it was just that the brain's messages to the mouth, tongue, etc. were lagging, and that more kids than we think have this problem, and basically not to worry. He also told me to be patient, and said that when he started school and being around other kids, as well as more of a learning environment, he should start talking more and his speech should improve. And if it didn't by the time he was in 1st grade, then to come back for my son to be re-evaluated. As time went on, his speech gradually improved, and when he was in kindergarten, his speech was absolutely normal. Now, he is a smart, bright and articulate young man! So, good luck to you!

If your doctor is concerned, you should be concerned. Most pediatrician's like to take the wait and see approach to developmental issues. As other mother's stated, contact early intervention in your state and get him evalluated. It's free. If there is a problem early intervention is critical to his future success. My daughter was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism at the age of 3 1/2. She is 4 now. While this is considered an early diagnosis I wish we had had a much earlier diagnosis. She would be so much furthur along. Kids with autism can actually recover from autism, meaning loss of the diagnosis completely. But early intervention is absolutely the key. When it comes to a child's development, never, ever wait. It could be the difference between recovery or mild improvement. Early intervention is free, there is no reason not to do it. I hope it's nothing but knowing is halk the battle. My daughter is in intense early intervention and making tremendous progress and well on her way to recovery, we hope!
Good luck,

B.

Hello, im 23yrs old with a 2year old daughter (turned 2 in Nov). U know, she doesnt talk much either, says a few more words than ur son does, but im not worried at all. Every child is different. Shes smart and knows every single word we are saying to her and listens to us very well (surprised, for a 2year old). So im not worried. And her doctor when she was about 1 1/2yrs old said not to really be worried about it either, she had asked if my daughter started walking early, i said she started at 9months old. So she told me that it seems like the kids who start the physical activities first seem to start talking (all the mental activities) a little later, since they are using all the concentration on the physicial ones. I dont think its a problem. Thats all. Bye4now

You know your baby best. Bottom line is if you're concerned, have him checked. Better to find out and know you did something than to wait and let your concerns grow and do nothing! We had the exact same concerns and we talked to the doc at our son's 18-month check up. They'll check hearing and ask you all kinds of questions. My son is 26 months and still not really doing 2-syllable words and any sentences sound like alien language. My son just isn't all that interested in trying to talk "perfect." There are so many factors and each child is so different. I've been told by so many not to worry because my son seems so smart, he responds and demonstrates a large understanding of commands and words told to him, and he is making progress. If your son is the same, don't be concerned. Just talk to him a lot. Explain things, but keep it short. Echo his sounds and noises back to him to show what he says/does is important to you. Celebrate ANY effort he makes (over-exaggerate if you have to). He'll be fine!

Another thing always mentioned to me... boys and first children tend to take their time talking (generally speaking).