Why Am I So Bitter over This Story?

I will never forget a woman/ neighbor I thought I was friends with. I told her that we were moving to a new development (much bigger/nicer houses) She was beyond annoyed and never spoke to M. again after telling M. how lucky I was to be able to afford that home.
This was J. 4 months after my son passed away. At this point she had 3 healthy children. Yes, I am "lucky" that my husband works hard so that money has not been an issue for us but some things money can't buy and if she wanted to trade places with M. I would have in a heartbeat.
I never get jealous of people's good fortune. You never know what tragedy or misfortune awaits them next.

Well I got my hand on a dollar bill
But the dollar bill blew away
But the sun is shining down on M.
And it's here to stay

That's why I'm tellin' you
I J. want to celebrate
Another day of livin'
I J. want to celebrate
Another day of life

:)

At the end of the day - what other people do, much like the weather, is out of our control.

So you have a choice - stew on this for awhile, or let it go.

Whichever you choose, I don't think it matters to the generous couple, or the scammed woman. It's your head - so you can choose to be bitter or not.

good luck! :)

Well, your story assumes that only people that are poor deserve to be helped in the even of a scam!
No O. likes to be scammed--wealthy OR poor. and logic might tell us those more poor MIGHT J. need to be even more careful of getting scammed since it can have greater impact on their immediate lives.
The woman's mistake was her pride. Obviously the well-off people were awesome...they gave as a GIFT, and gave freely. That is the way to give--not with strings, right?
J. M--go take some Pamprin! LOL

I hear you. Both my siblings married into families with alot of money. The family of one inlaw has so much money they have to spend $20K a year on their children or else they will be taxed for it. My sibling got a brand new car one year, and a fully loaded home security system another year. My other sibling's MIL is related - I kid you not - to some royal family in Denmark or Holland or something like that, so they have all kinds of fabulous wealthy connections and as a matter of fact, paid for my sibling's honeymoon to that country and I think they stayed in a castle. Whatever.

M.? I had so much money after I got married that my honeymoon was spent staying in cheap motels while driving cross country with my brand new husband on our way to his new job in Texas. Some days we splurged on Denny's, other days, Pizza Hut :)

Hang in there. Don't let someone else's fortunes or misfortunes guide your heart and daily well being. Anyone can be happy with alot of money but only extraordinary people can find happiness without it. Allow yourself to be jealous for another hour, and then,forget about it all. Let your hair down, feel the wind in your hair, eat a huge bowl of chocolate ice cream and know you don't have to have alot of money to enjoy yourself!

I don't know if that story would bother M. but the stories that drive M. nuts is a crime happened an hour ago and here is someone related to the victim saying and we have a trust fund set up with blah blah blah bank. Really? You are so traumatized you ran to the bank to set up a trust fund.

There was one like that a couple weeks ago, chick was car jacked in her two week old new car and stuffed in the trunk. So the news was all over it to illustrate that there are those switches to pop the trunk which is how she got out. Here is the victims fiancee saying we have a trust fund set up to pay for the car since it was totaled in the chase and we didn't have insurance..... Err, you were driving a car for two weeks uninsured? :(

Oh J. want to add this is not about real awful crimes, it is J. these trust funds are as out of control as tip jars at Mc Donalds, ya know?

So how do you know that this person didn't really need the money? Perhaps she had had to make some sort of financial arrangements with her landlord, mortgage company, utility company, etc., because she was having trouble paying her bills. She may have wanted to consider if she needed the money badly enough to mix friends and money; not because she didn't need the money, but because she did have some sort of payment arrangement made with her creditors and she could eat soup for the next three weeks even if she didn't like it.

You are assuming that this woman did not really need the money. You are also assuming that her friends were millionaires. My mother's home is paid off. If she were to sell, she would walk away with close to the million you talk about but that doesn't mean that she is wealthy. She bought her home 53 years ago and has taken excellent care of it. The house is now valued at almost 5 times what she paid for it. But she doesn't have a lot of money socked away in the bank; she doesn't have a stock portfolio worth a ton of money. She is not wealthy but if she sold her home and pocketed the cash, she might appear to some to be wealthy.

Things are not always as they seem and you really cannot judge a book by its cover!

It doesn't bother M., no.

I feel for you. I filed for bankruptcy after separating from my ex. Hey! And I was 29 as well!

I'm 32 now and my credit is getting better and better. I J. bought a used vehicle (put half down). I plan on buying a house next year.

You're J. in a tough spot. We all get in them. Find your way out by not repeating your mistakes.

All the best,
C

You mean like the lady who won the lottery and still gets food stamps? Yeah, that isn't fair.

I get what you are saying, it's hard when you struggle financially to hear of the financial fortune of others.. who really don't need the extra money. Like my wealthy friends who get end of the year bonuses that are almost equal to my husband's yearly salary... yet they complain about money and coupon and stuff all the time, even though we are the ones who silently sit by, stressed to the max about paying our bills...

Well, I J. stay out of their business and be happy that they have such good fortune. We have a blessed life as well, J. not the monetary part of it!

You know, I have to say here that what goes around generally comes around. Your mom's friend who was scammed obviously is a kind, trusting woman. We know she is trusting because she was scammed, and we know she is kind because multiple people in her life heard of her distress and tried to help her. If she were a total b**ch, would she have had several people trying to hand her money? So this is the case of someone who has been good to those around her, experiencing the same in return. It happens.

I know how you are feeling, though. Several years ago, my husband was laid off unexpectedly, J. after we had put our life savings down on our dream home. With our income more than cut in half, we were put in a position of using credit for everyday life while trying to keep up on our mortgage, thinking the situation was only temporary (that he would find a new job quickly). Well, that was in 2006, and we all know what happened with the economy and housing market. Long story short, we ended up $75K in debt, our home foreclosed upon, and the $200K we put down on the house, gone. I still want to cry J. thinking of it. We have since gotten our feet under us, but I have never forgotten that horrible feeling of losing everything of financial worth. Having been through that, hearing stories like the one you told give M. some faith in humanity. I love that there are people who hear that a friend had something bad happen to them, and because they can, they make it right. We don't hear enough stories like that. I don't have any scientific proof that this is so, but I do believe that the more you give, the more you will have. Maybe the rich couple who tried to help feel the same way. Life has been good to them, so they're being good to others. We should learn from that.

Life is not fair. The rich get richer. In the end all those sayings are true. You allowing yourself to get bitter over someone elses good fortune will only hurt you in the end.

I believe that if you focus on and search for the positive things in your life, more positive things will happen. If you focus on the negative things, more negative things will happen.

Bankruptcy is a financial reset button for those who choose that option. Old debt depending on the type is forgiven and you J. pay cash from that point forward until you can establish a great credit score. It is not the end of the world and doesn't really carry the stigma it used to. It is a great resource for for those who really need it.

Because of my faith and my growth in my faith it doesn't bother M. when others are blessed and I'm not blessed the way they are. The Bible teaches that it rains on the J. and the unjust and many other things as well. The main principle I love is sowing and reaping. You sow a seed you get a harvest or give what you want to get. Luck has very little to do with knowing who you may know, nothing escapes God's watchful eyes. You could also know a millionaire and not even know it.

Long story short I know how you feel. But also understand with confidence that trouble doesn't last always. Every day is a new day and with each new day comes new opportunites. Look for new opportunities in your life. Opportunities to empower, to prosper, to encourage, to thrive, to count your blessings and soon you will discover you have more than you thought you did. I know I'm living it.

You state that the woman didn't need the money...but you truly don't know that. She could have J. had too much pride to take it.
It happened to M. once-true story. ;)

The only thing that I find irritating about your story is that she had 2k to get scammed with in the first place! Wish I had 2k sittin' around burning a hole in my pocket.

Let it go-not worth thinking about.

Addition:
JC, what a terribly, sad story! What is wrong with that woman? I know you are glad now that you know what kind of person she is so that you aren't "duped" into a friendship with her. I'm am so sorry about your child.

Original:
Friends do things for friends. It blows that we all don't have friends like that, but such is life. When I hear this stuff, I'm mostly happy for them.

It's okay for you to feel jealous - we won't tell!

Hugs!
Dawn

I like how self aware you are. Most people don't realize when they are J. having a moment. Go ahead and have yours. We all do. J. not everyone is honest enough with themselves to take responsibility for it.

You do make a good point about not having millionaire friends. No one I know could float M. a few thousand on a whim!

You're allowed to have your "moment". :)

But in general, no that sort of stuff doesn't bother M.. I know that there is no such thing as "fair" in this life or this world. I also know that a great deal of "luck" is the kind that comes along after a person has worked hard and in earnest. She was "lucky" that she had friends that are well off. No, not everybody does. Not everyone has $2k sitting in the bank to GET ripped off. How is it that she did? Did she blow every dime she made on something when she could have been saving it? Did she do without some things that she MIGHT have spent it on? Obviously the answer would be "yes". So she made some wise choices somewhere along the way that sort of fed into her "luck"... didn't she?

I personally believe that it is the rarest of person that has no responsibility whatsoever for their "bad luck".

haha.. yes I understand that feeling.. My brother and sister in law are pretty well off.. They worked really hard and deserve all they earn.. Nothing about that really.. but her office J. won some sort of lottery drawing and all the employees get several thousand dollars because of it.. it's like wow.. must be nice.. and yes I am jealous.. would love a surprise like that.. but alas we are handed what we are handed and we really shouldnt get jealous of others, but I think it's human nature.. good luck with your financial woes.. unfortunately there are a lot of us out there..

I would bet that these very generous people do help out the *poor*. I wonder if this person that got scammed mentioned this intentionally hoping for the results she got. Nonetheless never be jealous, create your own destiny and embrace whatever results you get.