March 28, 2009,
N.B. asks from Dearborn Heights, MI on March 25, 2009
Who Is Supposed to Throw a Baby Shower?
This will probably sound silly, but who is supposed to throw a baby shower? My sister is pregnant, due in August, and I was kind of looking forward to planning and throwing it. However, I then spoke to her mother in law, and apparently that side of the family (in particular a cousin of the MIL) wants to do their own. I don't mind, necessarily, but I am a little dissappointed. If I were to throw one now, it would consist of about 5 people...and that's a little depressing if you ask me. Plus, now she's looking at 3 different baby showers (work, MIL's family, and our immediate family). So here's the question...who is supposed to throw it?
So What Happened?™
Thanks for all the advice. I'll be honest, when I was pregnant with my first child I had one shower, and with my second child I had 1...so I wasn't sure how to react to the 3 baby showers...I guess it's not that uncommon! Thinking about it now, it will be nice to have a small initimate shower with just family and a few close friends. Thanks for all the advice...I really do appreciate it!
B.B. answers from Detroit on March 25, 2009
typically it is a close friend, sister, or close relative...
If you want to throw one... Then go ahead.... :-) Perhaps doing more of a small dinner after baby comes so you guys can fill in the cracks and supply a meal and left overs for the new mom...
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L.Y. answers from Saginaw on March 25, 2009
Whomever wants to throw a shower is supposed to. It is normally a dear friend or a family member. I had three showers and I loved them all for different reasons. My mother in law threw a huge one that was for entire families so it was more like a reunion for my husbands side. My closest friends threw me one that had maybe 10 people at it and it was so wonderful because they were able to share stories with me, and help put things together :) I had a small one at work that was a total shock but still very nice.
I remember being overwhelmed by all the things I had to do before the baby was born, in addition to having a normal life. If you could throw the shower of 5 close friends or family and have it at her house after the big shower you could help her set up the baby room and put things together (and take back the odd things that she doesn't need like the baby food jar warmer that Aunt whoever thought was neat). Oh and give some freezer meals to help her out when the baby arrives :)
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B.S. answers from Grand Rapids on March 26, 2009
Since she is your sister you could probably throw on with just her friends. If your mom or MIL is planning on inviting her friends you could tell them you would like it if they kept it to family because you would like to do one with just her friends. The mothers and MIL are pretty much always invited to all the showers from what I understand but I suppose that is up to you.
Just an idea
M.W. answers from Detroit on March 26, 2009
You certainly have a right to throw one for her, even if she has 3 others... However if only having 5 guests is depressing, then talk to the cousin in law and see if you can do it together. Its not worth fighting about for sure, so if she balks at the idea of you helping (be sure you're very nice about asking, no it's really my right to do this and you stole it - stuff) then just do the one with 5 people and maybe make it a really girly one. You know maybe have everyone help you give her a spa treatment, massage, facial, whatever. Something to make her feel special and loved. The idea is for her to know your desire to make her baby shower special, and I'm sure you'll find a way to do that, no matter what you choose to do. Just don't throw any drama into the mix, that would make your sis feel worse. Best wishes!
M.B. answers from Tucson on March 26, 2009
Go ahead and throw one for her if you want to. She's your sister and invite whoever you want or whoever she would want to be there... friends, family, etc.
She'll probably be grateful for a smaller more intimate one anyway after the others!
K.W. answers from Detroit on March 26, 2009
usually the soon to be Grandma's are suppose to give it and if they don't step up the sister does A lot of people have 2 showers one for each side now and a work one so I don't
think that it is unusual at all
J.D. answers from Detroit on March 26, 2009
You are her sister!!! Go ahead and give her a special shower! You don't need anyone's permission. I had a lot of showers when we were expecting our first...One of the nicest and most fun was an intimate gathering of close family and friends. No matter how many people can be there, you are celebrating this new life and giving her encouragement and special gifts to help in this life transition. Go for it...enjoy the shower and have a blast planning it! :)
P.S. I was given 9...yes, NINE...showers for my first daughter...it was alot of thank you notes, but I certainly felt (still feel) blessed for all those parties in my honor and all those wonderful women who encouraged me as I became a Mommy.
B.J. answers from Detroit on March 26, 2009
Hi & congradulations on your new nephew or neice. If it's not to late offer to throw the shower with the MIL, the list sounds long, if you were to include all. Hopefully their is a room large enough for all to attend. Tell the MIL, that you had initially wanted to through a shower but would love to help out with names and guest lists food, prizes, ectra, games, the bottom line here is that everyone want's to welcome the new baby, & it's a great time for everyone who will likely be in the new child's life to meet each other. Best of luck to you. Wow, just read your bio, other's probably were thinking of you, and your full life, and figured you don't have time, they have under estimated your will and the joy of being involved in planning the shower for your sister. Tell other's how you feel, & Co-Host the shower. One final thought, if their are three showers, she will likely recieve double gift's, makeing more work for a new mom, rather than a gift, now she has to return large bulky items with a newborn.