32 answers

Who Gets the Holiday Leftovers?

I just hosted Easter dinner at my house for 16 people, which was family from both my husband and my sides. I spent 2 days preparing the majority of the food - main course (ham & turkey), sides/veggies, 3 desserts so that I didn't have it all to do Easter Sunday. Each family brought something to share and these were small side items such as bread, rolls, and appetizers.

Last night before leaving and without asking, my mother in law and sister in law packed up the majority of the contents of the leftovers out of my refrigerator and took them to my mother in law's home. My sister in law and her family are here from out of town for the week. Basically, they left my family of 4 and my sister and her family of 4 (who is staying with me) with enough for maybe 2 people to eat. My sister is from out of town as well, so we could've eaten leftovers today too.

Am I wrong for feeling a little taken back by this action? I felt it was kinda rude to just start packing up the food without asking. Of course I would've shared some with them anyway, but I would've made sure it was enough for all of us to have a little. Just feeling weird. Please share your thoughts!

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Oh - I mis-spoke - it's my MIL and SIL, not MY mom. haha. I told my mom about it and she is pissed. :)

My husband didn't offer because when he went to get some leftovers last night for a quick sandwich and there was 2 slices of turkey, he was FURIOUS! I told him to take it up with his mom.

I was bathing my son and getting him ready for bed when all the packing up was being done, so I missed out on being there when it was happening. I was "informed" by my MIL that she was taking the food for their dinner tonight. ugh. Oh and they used MY tupperware containers to take it home....

****Thanks All for your support! I think I will chalk this up as lesson learned and next time, I will be prepared and as I clean up the kitchen, I will go ahead and pack her a portion of the leftovers to take home. That way I get to determine how much goes with her.

My husband did stop by her house yesterday to see his brother and family (I had to work), and he said he made a snarky comment to his mom about the food, but she just said that she had to have dinner for Monday night, so why not take it??? He told her that it would've been nice not to take it all as we had guests too, to which she responded that she did leave some. She is just that self centered. Only thinks about herself and what would be easiest for her. Not caring about the fact that my sister and family was here too, and that I would have to cook again. She is some kinda crazy. It just makes me want to cringe now that I will have to see her again, and probably host her ass again for another dinner this week. Trying to figure my way out of that now...

Thanks!

Featured Answers

Yikes. How incredibly rude on their part.

My thought has always been (per my mom)... the hostess should offer to send home leftovers with guests IF there are enough to send home, but if the hostess has "sleepover guests"... they are hers to keep!

When my parents have us all at their house on Sunday nights they intentionally make enough for us to take home leftovers for lunch the next day. We all know this and love it. However, if we are there for a holiday, we wait to be offered before taking anything from their house! 99% of the time she offers, but sometimes she has plans for that extra chicken!

4 moms found this helpful

You are not wrong. You do NOT take leftovers from the host's home unless the host offers them to you.
Any food you bring, you leave the leftovers as a thank you to the hostess.
I always ask people if they want to take some leftovers home, especially if I know there is a dish someone particularly likes, but I do NOT ask a host for the leftovers, nor do I pack up a doggie bag for myself without being invited to do so.

3 moms found this helpful

The only time that would be okay is if they paid for the food you prepared AND asked to take it from the fridge. How odd. Isn't family funny?! Let it go and learn to be more prepared next time with a plan i guess. As they prep to leave start carving up the meat and dividing up the leftovers so everyone gets their designated bag to take home.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I had about 22 people yesterday.
Everyone left with a BAG of leftovers and we still have a ton.

But who goes into someone else's fridge and takes the food? I find that really odd.
IF that happened to me, I'd be calling my mom and asking when is dinner time at her house today because all of our food seems to be at her house!

6 moms found this helpful

Rude. Rude rude rude.

No two ways about it. Rude.

5 moms found this helpful

WOW! How rude!

It might be that they didn't know it was rude...really. My MIL insists that everyone take the leftovers after holiday meals. She packs them up for us. So perhaps your MIL and SIL thought that you wouldn't want to deal with all the food.

BUT they should have ASKED!

I would ask hubs to go get your tupperware back...and all the food in them!

4 moms found this helpful

WOW - that's just freaky. It's your home, your fridge, and you cooked. They needed to ask. Are they always like this? Hubby needs to do this one since it's his family, if you're wanting to say anything. Otherwise, pack it up in YOUR containers ASAP and put it away.

Per your SWH - oh HELL no. Hubby needs to go and get your containers and let them know that they were extremely rude for not asking to take the food, not asking to use your containers, and not leaving enough for your family. I'm glad he was pissed too.

4 moms found this helpful

Are you sure your husband didn't say take whatever you want? Not that you will probably get an honest answer from him mind you. My husband always says stuff like that because he assumes everyone is like him and wouldn't take more than a bit.

Anyway, sans my husband giving away the house, we pack to gos as we clean up and whoever owns the house is part of the process.

I don't think you are wrong for feeling like you do but I would check with your husband to see what he told them....

4 moms found this helpful

Yikes. How incredibly rude on their part.

My thought has always been (per my mom)... the hostess should offer to send home leftovers with guests IF there are enough to send home, but if the hostess has "sleepover guests"... they are hers to keep!

When my parents have us all at their house on Sunday nights they intentionally make enough for us to take home leftovers for lunch the next day. We all know this and love it. However, if we are there for a holiday, we wait to be offered before taking anything from their house! 99% of the time she offers, but sometimes she has plans for that extra chicken!

4 moms found this helpful

Totally in agreement with you: that was so rude! In fact, as we say in Boston, it was WICKED rude!

Even though you're right, my opinion differs from some of the other commenters who have posted here. I wouldn't make a big deal out of this issue, if you can avoid it. If the opportunity comes up to say something in an off-hand, casual kind of "I was kind of surprised when..." way, take it. Other than that, let it go. As a poster recently said "that's not a hill you want to die on." These women are family so you can't really avoid them. Pick your battles.

On the other hand, I would totally keep this in he back of my head & try to head off this kind of nasty mooching in the future. Some people have given great ideas here.

Good for you for not marching over this evening, sitting yourself down at your MIL's kitchen table & saying you're ready for the dinner she swiped from your house!

4 moms found this helpful

You are not wrong. You do NOT take leftovers from the host's home unless the host offers them to you.
Any food you bring, you leave the leftovers as a thank you to the hostess.
I always ask people if they want to take some leftovers home, especially if I know there is a dish someone particularly likes, but I do NOT ask a host for the leftovers, nor do I pack up a doggie bag for myself without being invited to do so.

3 moms found this helpful

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