15 answers

Who Do YOU Talk To?

Who do you talk to? I mean REALLY talk to?
I ask, because I find myself all alone, with no one to talk to. I'm a single mom of a 4yr old (no family/ no daddy in the picture), and ever since my daughter was born, we've been alone. The friends I have, have dispersed. They have kids too, but they are married, and we rarely see each other (I have asked for playdates, and one friend lives 2 streets down!). Not only am I single, but I have been unemployed (twice in two years!), and have been really struggling (that's actually an understatement). So, I know this is the reason. The friends (2 of the 3 of them) have come around just recently because I'm in dire straights and have had to ask for help (and it kills me to do it!), but that's it, they haven't wanted to talk to me, I think they are uncomfortable around me because of my situation, and scared I may need something. It makes me sad, and well, LONELY! A couple of years ago I had reached out to a couple of mom groups, they were a lot younger, SAHM's and just "clicky", so it didn't work out. And now, honestly, it's hard to socialize with new people when I'm about to become homeless Heck, I don't socialize with anyone, and it's just not healthy. I know when I finally do get a job with insurance, I will seek out a therapist; God knows I need it after all I've been through (and still going through). I used to be the popular person everyone wanted to associate themselves with, and now NO One wants to even give me 2 seconds of their time! I always think, if I had a friend going through a tough time, I WOULD BE THERE FOR THEM! Anyway, are you blessed with a BFF? Did you meet a great friend in an unusual place? Or late in life? I need friends, but my daughter and I also need prayers to get through this tough time- God Bless~

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you, for all of the kind words. It doesn't help that I'm introverted, so making new friends seems difficult, but I certainly am going to be more open to new people that I meet; shouldn't be too hard, since, as I get older the more chatty I'm becoming, like the old person who starts a conversation with the cashier (insert me!). I think the thing that is also hard, is that I'm just disappointed in these friends that's I've had for 20+ years, I always thought, "I have plenty of friends, I don't need anymore", well, this has been a huge awakening.... Also, I do have a part time job at a retail store, unfortunately, they only give me a day or two, but, I know when I finally get full time work (hopefully with the pay I'm accustomed to), things will be better, and I definitely will always be on the lookout for "friend opportunities"! Thanks again, it's nice to know SOMEONE is listening (reading) :))))

Featured Answers

Well I've got 3 sisters. We're all close, but different. We all have different relationships with each other, you know? Anyway there is never any lack of a Sista to talk to about any given thing.

So you can talk to ME! One thing I got is time, compassion, and a sense of humor. Ok, well that's three things I guess. Send a message anytime.

:)

6 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I talk to my sister, my best friend and other people. I am blessed with a sister who is my best friend and my best friend who has been with me through ups and downs, curves and twists for 35 years!!!

From July 2011 to April 2012 - we were in tough times. We found out who our friends are. I know - sounds like a country song - but it's true.

Your "friends" aren't your friends. Sorry. If they won't give you two seconds of their time - they aren't your friends.

However, on the flip side - It MIGHT be that they aren't uncomfortable - but they see the look of desperation in your face and hear it in your voice...and they are afraid it could happen to them....or that's the ONLY thing you talk about when you are with them and it's hard to hear it "every time you call".

You need to get yourself employable....does this mean you need schooling? I don't know. I would start applying for grants and get myself in a better position. Find out what career fields are open and hiring and get educated in one of the fields that interests me.

Given your situation - I am sure you would qualify for grants or scholarships. If you are not on welfare or foodstamps - get on them. Go to your local unemployment office and start looking at the boards.

Get your resume together. I will be happy to look it over for you.

You aren't near family. Then if you are currently unemployed - call them and tell them the situation you are in and get help from them. Move closer to them. If you are young enough - you might consider joining the military - yes, it means that you would have to leave your daughter for 12 weeks but afterwards? you can be together. Do you have anyone you trust your daughter with?

Get your daughter's father to start paying child support. You and your daughter need that money!!

Back to you - and being lonely. I'm here. I work from home. I have several "jobs" - I do ebay/craigslist and I recruit people for IT Government Contract jobs. you are welcome to PM and we can get acquainted.

6 moms found this helpful

Well I've got 3 sisters. We're all close, but different. We all have different relationships with each other, you know? Anyway there is never any lack of a Sista to talk to about any given thing.

So you can talk to ME! One thing I got is time, compassion, and a sense of humor. Ok, well that's three things I guess. Send a message anytime.

:)

6 moms found this helpful

Do you have family that you can talk to? My sisters and my mom are a big help. I also have a BFF that i have had for 24 years. I know it is hard when you feel alone. Maybe you can have the friends over for a few times without asking for anything. Then they would not fear you as much. I am praying that things get better for you.

4 moms found this helpful

No way :( I hear on Facebook many girls post how they love their besties or BFF & Im always so confused how they have so many & I dont even have a handful of friends let alone BBF! I have a sister & thank god for her! She is always there for me & Im there for her :) Friendships are tough I dont now why. I mean Im married. It can be tougher than that lol but I think I would be an amazing friend! Sending a prayer your way
Xoxo E.

4 moms found this helpful

When I have been like this I found solace in writing in a journal. I would pour out my heart then burn the pages. It was very healing. I would just write and write and write. Not stopping to read or evaluate, nothing but freedom/flow of thoughts. They all went down, sometimes I had no idea what I had written because the sentences were not complete, not even a subject because my mind was working so fast.

There are other ways too. Just praying out loud. Even if you don't believe anyone is listening the act of hearing your own words will often light up that lightbulb on top of your head and you'll have an awakening moment.

One of those "OOOOOOOhhhhhhhhh, that's what was bugging me" moments. Hearing it out loud is especially cathartic for those who are audio learners. Hearing it out loud is often the only way they figure something out.

The action of sitting down or getting down on ones knees is a sign of surrender. Your brain goes into a different mode. Your eyes are closed, your body is quiet, you hear nothing but the sound of your voice, your heart can break and tell the inner most private things. Even if you think no one is there listening, you are there listening. That's what I'm trying to say. Letting your body just get it all out and bubbling over is often very very lightening. It will feel like you got rid of all the weight of the world.

I hope you can take some time to do some of these techniques. I found some to be much better for me than others.

3 moms found this helpful

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. Consider all the Moms on here your friends. What's great about that is that people have all kinds of help they can offer you because, believe me, someone has been in your shoes at some point in their life and they've gotten through it and come out the other side.

Do you belong to any kind of church? Perhaps a small one where people really get to know each other? People with a soft heart for God might be the kinds of people you want to surround yourself with. Best of luck to you and I'll say a prayer for you too.

3 moms found this helpful

Prayers to you! Hang in there.

3 moms found this helpful

I'm probably much older than you (38). I've been to hell and back. I get where you are coming from. What I can tell you is that you can come out of this.

I've moved across country a handful of times and have had to start over each time. Having a bff is not all that. Yes, it is super nice to have someone to talk to on a regular basis and get the support when you need it. But, that can't be your main concern right now. You have way more going on that is a priority.

Can we help!??! Can you break down the actual problems you have going on? What kind of work have you done? What is keeping you from getting a job? Child care? Transportation? Current resume? Proper clothing? Depression?

Have you looked into all the programs and help that is available to you? Can we help with that, too?

Is there a preschool that you can take your daughter to that would offer a scholarship? Payment plan? Have you asked?? Head Start??

Seriously. Spell it out. Let us help!!!

3 moms found this helpful

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