Whinning and Additude

When she whines, say "I don't understand your words when you whine." Then turn away from her and ignore her. If it escalates, get down on your knee, hold her by her shoulders (not roughly) and say to her "I told you that I cannot understand your words when you whine. If you want me to listen to you, you must talk in a nice voice and say "Mommy, may I please... Only THEN will I listen to you." And don't say one more word to her until she changes from whiny voice to normal voice.

As soon as she switches to normal voice, you turn around and pay very positive attention to her. You talk brightly, help her with what she wants, all of that. This will train her to stop the whining and ask you politely.

If she wants something that she cannot have, tell her no first off. If she is whining and being rude because you said no, you must NOT give in to her or she will act that way to wear you down. Get down on one knee and say "I told you NO. You may not do (or have) ... Whining and having a bad attitude will only get you in trouble." Then turn away and ignore her. If she continues to be awful, hits you or has a tantrum, pick her up and deposit her in her room and shut the door. Let her have a tantrum in her room and don't let her out until she is behaving. Don't let her know you are outside the door - if you are an "audience" for her, she will continue to be awful.

Instead of you being angry with her, look at this as a process where it is YOUR job to teach her not to whine and to teach her a good attitude. If you don't teach her right, the person to be mad at is YOU. She is a kid and you have to teach her right.

There is a book that might help. It's called "The Berenstain Bears Get the Gimmees". You can find it on amazon.com. It shows the little girl having temper tantrums in the store because she can't have everything she wants. It shows how silly she looks laying on the floor screaming.

I don't know if your 5 year old is actually doing that, but it's still a good book.

Good luck,
D.

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family conference: address "how" you want her to act, "what" she's doing that is unacceptable, & the consequence for not following your redirection. Since she's 5, you can also follow this up with small posters placed around the house. When she starts her act, simply walk over to the poster & remind her of "how" to behave. The most important part of this process is to consistently & diligently follow thru on the consequence.

& when I say consequence, I mean....pre-determine what it will be & enforce it every single time! Only you know what works with your child.

With my sons, I always used the phrase, "please sit here & think about what you are trying to say to me. When you can speak to me in a 'big-boy voice', then we will discuss what you are saying". It didn't matter where we were, they had to sit & think...before we moved on. If they continued to whine, beg, hang on me.....then I would remind them to "speak to me in a 'big-boy voice' ". & if they continued past that....I would place them in time-out.

Yes, there were times when they continued to battle....but, in the end, it all worked out. & with my daycare kids, I love when they caution each other with the whole....."no, use your big-boy/girl voice"!! Love it!

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I've read that at 5 years old, kids start to realize that other people are around and they care about what they think. So, without killing your child's self esteem, and using caution...i think if she's doing it in public, just whisper something like, everyone can see you and they're going to think you're a bad girl or something like that. Sometimes it's that simple, and sometimes they don't care at all. I personally think that there might not be anything wrong with a persistent kid. My parents gave me what I wanted whenever I wouldn't stop whining, and now I'm a persistent person as an adult. I never stop fighting until I get what I want from life. I don't take no for an answer. If I see a door, I bust through it. Lol, that may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I think there's something to it. Of course, whining IS annoying...that's why it works ;) I know it's easier said than done, but as moms it's important that we make every experience a learning experience for our children...it's not about US anymore...although I struggle with this quite often myself.

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Talk to her about her whining and her bad attitude, then discipline her like you would for any other offense. If you're consistent, she'll learn really fast.

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