February 18, 2007,
J.A. asks from Altoona, PA on January 27, 2007
Whining - Altoona, PA
My nearly 3yr old whines A LOT! I have tried taking toys away every time he whines and the treat of taking one away seems to work the best. But its still not effective for getting him out of the habit. I need suggestions on how to get him to not whine over things.
M.L. answers from Washington DC on January 29, 2007
I have three kids, and the only thing that has worked with the whining is to quickly send them to their room when they start whining. I tell them they may only come out when they feel better. It seems to be working. As soon, as they stop they come out and say, I feel better now, mommie. Give it a shot and see what happens. The first few times you might have to help him to his room, but once he realizes that you really mean it, that you will not sit and listen to the whining he will do it less and less. Good luck to you.
J.D. answers from Washington DC on February 18, 2007
You got really good advice here. I would say, don't be surprised if a complete turnaroud takes a looooong time. My sons both whined alot at ages 3 and 4, but I would not give them what they wanted until they used an appropriate tone of voice. They would always try whining first though, "just in case." If he likes to "play house" take the opportunity to have Jayden be the dad and you be the kid. Then as you play, you whine alot. (reverse psychology!) Then he will have to explain to you that whining is not the way to get what you want. Another idea - you could pretend (right before you roll down the window at the Mc Donald's drive thru) that you are going to whine your order. Then ask, "Should I do that???" Jayden will probably think it's funny and be able to tell you how to change your tone of voice. You could probably think of more ideas like that. :)
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L.S. answers from Lancaster on January 29, 2007
I know how whining can grate your nerves. I used a dvd called 'Timeout Tot' (there is a website, but I bought mine from ebay) and it specifically addresses whining, as well as other behavioral issues. That put a stop to it. My son was mortified to think he sounded like the kid in the dvd. Now all I have to say is, "are you whining? I don't respond to that kind of talking." or "Is that how we ask?" and he instantly stops and restates what he is saying in a proper, respectful tone, even with 'please' and 'thank you' added! Amazing. HTH.
D.M. answers from Scranton on January 29, 2007
My daughter did that for the longest time. I finally came up with if she wanted to cry she could, but she had to do it in her room. She cried loud for a while, but eventually she was sick of being by herself in her room :) Stay strong
E.B. answers from Harrisburg on January 29, 2007
My son has a tendancy to whine, also. I always say "I thought I had a big boy. I can't hear you until you talk like one." He usually calms down and tries his best to talk in his normal voice. Usually when he whines he wants something. I think by ignoring his requests until he talks right he has no choice, but to stop. Give it a try! Works for me!
D.B. answers from Dover on January 29, 2007
Whining is so annoying, isn't it?! lol
When my son starts to whine, I give him a nice example of how I want his voice to sound. I repeat his request in a normal voice then tell him to say it like Mama. When he makes his request without whining (which is usually one or two tries), I grant his request enthusiastically (but not overly so) to show him I'm pleased with that voice.
I hope you find something that works for you!
L.S. answers from Washington DC on January 29, 2007
I always told my children that I couldn't understand them if they were whining for example if my daughter said " I want you to read me a book" in a whiny voice I would tell her "I'm sorry, I can't understand you when you whine" if she kept saying it in a whiny voice I would just ignore her and then she would say it in a nice voice and I would turn and answer her and say "good, now I can understand you". It seemed to work in my house but I always said first that I couldn't understand them because they're whining so they would know why I was ignoring them if they continued...Good luck