Whiner

Hi L.
My son was the same way at 7&8 months he was bord and wanted to move he was on the verg of walking and crawling so he would just whine because he could not do what he wanted. it is just a phase and should pass soon.:)T.

My 5 month old just started doing this too. I have been attributing it to teething and the fact that he's getting frustrated because he can't quite do what he wants to do - creep, crawl, sit, stand. He wants someone with him to help him because he can't do that stuff yet, so he whines if you leave the room.

I'm trying not to respond immediately, as that only reinforces the behavior.

Just wanted to send a little note to let you know you are not alone and this is very normal. My almost 9 month old daughter has been doing the same thing over the past couple weeks. I have found that if I sit down with her at first until something gets her attention and then go and do what I need to, the fussing lessens. She still seems upset at first but calms and goes back to her toy quicker. I also try to come into her sight and reassure her that I am still close. She recently began crawling and can begin to follow me so that has helped some, and she has found it funny if I crawl to where I am going, like a little "follow the leader" game. As others have said, love her up while you can, once they can get up and go you don't get that snuggle time much anymore. I joke about my daughter sometimes and say that someone snuck in and sucked out all her sweet happy baby and injected it back with attitude :) It is crazy to me how quickly they change! React to her how you feel you want or need to, you can never hold or love a child too much, but they obviously need guidance with their actions also. I just try to remind myself it is only a phase and take one day at a time :) Good luck.

Children at 8 months that "whine" is doing so because they need attention. I know it is hard, but they need a lot of attention. If you are losing your patience with her then the whining is probably a result of that. Children need to feel secure in their surroundings. The more secure they feel the less likely they are to whine and later when they are older, throw temper tantrums. So when she whines don't yell at her, don't get impatient, just love her. It will also help if you check the times she whines. If she is doing it close to a nap time, cuddle her before the whining and rock her to sleep. If she is doing it before meals, move her meal time up a little bit, before she gets to whining. If she is whining because you are leaving the room, she is insecure about being alone, so talk with her while you are in the other room. She will grow out of it when she gets big enough to speak and when she gets busy playing with her toys. Good words to remember is "This Too Shall Pass"

Developmentally, she's at the stage where she now realizes you're separate from her and so she's very attached to you. I was just reading an article recently that suggested starting out small--playing peek a boo, so she knows that you come back when you leave, then moving to another room, but still talking to her, and finally leaving the area altogether (to do laundry or go to the bathroom) while she's safe and playing contentedly.

This IS a skill, I'm learning--my first was HORRIBLE about playing alone (at 4, he still is!) but my second, who is far more neglected (ha!) than my first, is much, much better at playing on his own--simply because I haven't had the time or energy to go to him every time he fusses, and if I want time with my first, sometimes the second has to play on his own. It's a gradual process, but this should be the worst of it--it will get better, but it's a matter of teaching her.

My son became very whiny around the same age. It got a lot better once he was able to move around better on his own, and now that he's crawling he's able to get himself what he wants. My only advice is to be patient and try to reassure her that you're there for her. Good luck!

Usually babies that young dont whine unless they are sick or hungry etc and you cannot spoil a child under a year old. Maybe she has an ear ache. My daughter got ear aches at a young age. She would whine off and on.

It's probably boredom. Change her toys out frequently. If she isn't mobile yet change her location frequently as well. My boys loved their Jumparoo at that age, it gave them tons of stimulation.

8 months is pretty small to have a "bad attitude" ~ but she could be doing it intentionally because you aren't getting something important L.:

Babies know what they want and need but cannot talk. What would YOU do if you needed something but couldn't talk? Close your eyes for a moment and imagine that you were in her position... what would it be like to need water, a hug, food, some comfort or a new position but not be able to ask for it with words?

Now, you need some tools in your toolbox L. because you have a smart one on your hands. Get the book, Raising Your Spirited Child by M. Kurcinka. Once you read it you will start to enjoy these antics she is using to get you to understand her without using words.

Take it from a mom with a Spirited Child, she has not got an attitude YET... but she WILL get one if you don't find out how she ticks, and how BOTH of you can enjoy her next 18 years together.

Children start bad habits because they get rewarded for them.
Personally, I would just wear my baby in a wrap or sling and just let her have all the mommy time she needs at this point, she will grow up one day and not want to be attached at the hip, and this is such a short time.
However, if you want the behavior to stop, you can start working on it. You need to stop rewarding her for the whining. In the book To Train Up a Child, Mike and Debi Pearl say to not give attention, even a glance, to a child who is whining, but when they are playing nicely or not whining give them lots of praise. That is the time you pick them up, not while they are displaying the annoying behavior.
I think you are going to get screaming from ignoring it, and then have to ignore that, too. It will work, but it takes a bit, maybe a month if you are not completely consistent.

I'm still carrying my 19 month old around. I know it doesn't spoil them, and it actually makes them more secure and obedient down the road. (I have children as old as 18, too) Mike and Debi have very secure, extremly wonderful, obedient children, though, so they may be a better authority than I am.

Do what you feel led to do, though, you know in your heart what is best.

I agree with the other posters that your daughter is pretty normal for 8 1/2 months! My daughter was the same at that stage. When leaving a room, I would try to do Peek-a-boo - leave the room still talking to her, then pop back in and say peek-a-boo. Repeat a couple times so she realizes you are coming back. Another thing to consider is starting baby sign language. Your daughter probably wants certain things, but doesn't have a way to communicate what she wants. About this age is a good time to start trying baby sign language. It takes time for the baby to pick it up, but it helps tremendously in the next several months. My daughter is 13 months and can sign "more" "all done" "bath" "thank you" "please" "food" "help". She is able to use her signs when she needs something instead of just whining. Of course she still has her moments of whining (LOL) but at least we can ask her if she needs "food" or "help" and she can respond with her signs. There are several books available on how to do baby signing, or classes offered at hospitals (I am in Racine and All Saints offers a class on Baby Signing.)

good luck and try to stay patient.