46 answers

Which Do People Value More? Larger House or Kid Friendly Neighborhood?

My friend (a guy) is heavily debating where to move. They're expecting their 3rd child any day now and will need a larger house. Personally, I love our really kid friendly neighborhood w/ safe streets for biking, running around, lots of kids to go play with etc. I don't love our house at all but I figure we can move someday to something that's more pleasing to me and let the kids have fun these early years. His wife though is more interested in the larger (aka huge) houses with more land and a private pool. The way their area works, you can't really have both within their price range. These larger houses they're looking at are in the hills so the streets aren't kid friendly and it's not clear if there are many kids in the neighborhoods in general. But the houses themselves are beautiful. I'll take finances out of the equation but the larger houses are a bit of a stretch financially so my friend is wondering if it's even worth it if his kids are going to be lonely/bored. (Oldest is only 4 now). So he's interested to hear from others what they value. Do those of you who live in more of your dream house but in an area that means you need to drive your kids everywhere, they can't bike easily etc think the house is worth it? Do those of you who don't live in your dream house but it's in a very kid friendly neighborhood think it's worth it? I actually have friends who moved out of their dream home to a kid friendly neighborhood bc they didn't like feeling isolated. Anyone else experience that? Or are some of you fine being a bit isloated bc your house is just so great and a private pool keeps the kids entertained? Thanks!

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Thanks and keep them coming! I'm sure he's overwhelmed as he doesn't know this site! :) A few points to help - his commute no matter what will be shorter than now and reasonable. He has a very secure and well paying job so finances are a concern but not paramount. He should have already budgeted for stuff like cleaning people, new furniture etc. We're also not talking the "country" btw. Say 10 min drive to a few stores and an acre of property. The kid friendly neighborhoods where he lives have very small yards but parks nearby. In neither situation would he pick a house that they'd be too crowded in. 5 bedrooms either way. As well, he plans on staying in it for 25 years and figures this is definitely not the top of the housing cycle so resale isn't his first concern.

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I vote for and actually chose a larger house. I had that 'ideal' child friendly neighborhood on a cul de sac where the children rode their bikes, played basketball, played in and around each other homes, had 'block' parties, etc.... It is great for awhile until.....
families move and the new families bring additional cars or ignore speed limits
kids become teenagers and play loud inappropriate music at ear piercing volummes
neighbors who you think you are friends with either ignore or backstab you

So I would rather be a bit isolated and immune to these potential risks. We actually still own that kid family house as a rental (makes a great rental!) but I would never move back if I can help it.

4 moms found this helpful

I don't live in my dream house OR a kid friendly neighborhood (there are two kids besides my son on the whole block!).

From personal experience, definantly a kid friendly neighborhood. I can get a new house anytime (and will, as soon as my kids grow up and can't ruin the carpet!) but I can't give them the outside, have fun with the neighbor kids experience back. Anything that gets my kids off the couch and video games to play outside is a huge plus in my book.

1 mom found this helpful

Safe and kid friendly with a good school district. Having the largest house in a not so wonderful or more distant location doesn't help with resale value either.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

I vote for and actually chose a larger house. I had that 'ideal' child friendly neighborhood on a cul de sac where the children rode their bikes, played basketball, played in and around each other homes, had 'block' parties, etc.... It is great for awhile until.....
families move and the new families bring additional cars or ignore speed limits
kids become teenagers and play loud inappropriate music at ear piercing volummes
neighbors who you think you are friends with either ignore or backstab you

So I would rather be a bit isolated and immune to these potential risks. We actually still own that kid family house as a rental (makes a great rental!) but I would never move back if I can help it.

4 moms found this helpful

we have a big house and there are NO kids except ours. However we are not native to the area and have zero friends. We are people who like our privacy and are not fond of talking the "the Jones" just because their kids play...so I enjoy my big house that I can spend LOADS of time with my family and relatives. if I want my kid to play in the neighborhood, I would just have a playdate or sleep over. I am also pretty hands on with my kid and have not gotten the hang of 'letting go". I need to be able to see her at all times...So I may not give the best advice since I only have 1 and she is 2yo
NOW having said that...the streets surrounding us have lots of kids and during Halloween we have (yes I count them every year) between 100-117 children that trick or treat.
I can say I grew up in a small house with 5 kids. Across the street was a baseball diamond and a park (VERY quiet street for cars since it was a dead end)..I have LOTS of great memories just roaming to the park and playing with random kids...taught me to be pretty social.
We are moving to a new city again next year and I will be up against the same situation...hubby and I LOVE our quiet family time and privacy, but I know in order to have our DD social, we will need to get her outside more than just socializing at daycare.

4 moms found this helpful

The thing with a bunch of neighbors is that you can't pick who they are. ;) You may end up with some great ones, but on the other hand, you might not. We purposefully chose a house in the country on several acres so that our kids could be kids: climbing trees, riding their bikes on our property, riding the ATV, building forts, trying their hand at a garden, paintball/airsoft, etc. We invite friends over all the time, so they are seldom lonely. And, if they are, that encourages them to play with each other rather than ignore the sibling in favor of a peer. I would def pick the better house with more control over who influences the children. But I'm funny like that. ;)

3 moms found this helpful

Something to think about: We moved into a neighborhood that has kids in every house. There are 10 kids on my block alone in my son's grade yet none of the kids play together and I don't really associate with many of my neighbors-not that I dislike them but there is nothing in common. The kids did kind of play together when they were really little but in third grade they have pretty much gone their own way. In the summer our neighborhood is a ghost town-its not like the neighborhoods we group up with. Kids are scheduled with camps and sports and everything else. I guess what I am trying to say is that even if you move to a "kid-friendly" neighborhood there is no guarantee at all that your kids will play with the other kids or that you will have that closeness to the other families that you would think if you were in a family neighborhood.

That being said if there is a neighborhood in mind where he already knows the people there and can say for certain that he would fit in with the other families and that the kids will get along that is what he should probably go with.

2 moms found this helpful

Personally, I would want a larger house if I was planning on having a large family. If the house was going to be built on a lot with lots of land and a pool, I would go for that over a neighborhood. I like my privacy, and you don't get that in some neighborhoods. Kids love pools, plus they would have land to play on. I grew up on a farm and my friends love coming to my house, we would play for hours outside, go exploring, etc. Parents teach their kids to ride on hills, should do that as a family anyway. Unless you are really lucky, most neighborhoods have their issues, I would like more privacy. If my kids want to play with friends go to parks or have them come to the house.
I'm for larger house...

2 moms found this helpful

Big house for what?? More taxes? Higher mortgage? More insurance? More furniture to buy to fill it? More rooms to keep clean and organized?
NO THANKS!
I'll keep my small, easy to manage, affordable house that suits us just fine, in a kid friendly area.

2 moms found this helpful

Kid friendly wins over my dream home anyday...we moved recently and looked at many dream homes. But really we wanted a place our kids would be happy. We were wanting a family community...not just a fancy schmancy house.(We can get that when the kids are off and on their own...if we want to)

We wanted a park, a pool, live in a court, a good neighborhood school and a large yard. We have put up with the negatives regarding the "look" of the house because over time we can put money in to it to make it to our liking. But in the meantime our kids have friends to play with, we live in our pool during the summer and have lots and lots of swim parties&playdates,we walk to the park all the time. This quality of life means soooo much more to me than the "shock and awe" affect we would get impressing everyone with our "dream home".

Kids don't care one bit about the fanciness of a home...they will appreciate all the fun memories and time you spend with them while growing up in "their kid friendly dream home." Tell your friend good luck in all the house hunting...it is a fun process but ohhhh soooo stressful...especially if the wifey is not on board with his vision of a "dream home" the ENTIRE family will be happy with.

1 mom found this helpful

I'd say it depends a lot more on the dynamics of the individual family. We live sort of isolated... a developed neighborhood out in a mostly rural area with NOTHING within walking/biking distance. But, our neighborhood itself is quite kid friendly... There just aren't many kids. There were NONE when we moved here. But, we're in the deep south, where nobody WALKS or BIKES to go do stuff. There's very little public transport and everybody drives to work/school/play. It's pretty rural. But even IN the city limits, people drive for the most part.

Our previous neighborhood, the houses were close to together and it was a HUGE development and there were a lot of kids--on the other side of the neighborhood across a busy street. Our side was mostly retirees or families with teens; and we had toddlers. But we were the first household there too. NO kids anywhere. Shoot... no houses but ours and one other...

While we wanted (and still do want) our kids to have friends in the neighborhood to play with, there is something to be said for your home being family space/time. I LOVE when my 2 kids can go outside and play for HOURS on a Saturday with just each other and the dog. I know exactly what to expect of their behavior, and I know fully what they know is expected of them. And they really are a bonded couple of kids! Now that there are a few kids in the neighborhood, when my kids go outside, the neighbor kids often come over and join in the play. And I find that it makes me more nervous. Some kids are more aggressive, some are risk takers and dare devils... some don't seem aware of how their behavior affects the dog (throwing dirt bombs? the dog tries to catch them, ends up eating dirt, and then throws up on my living room floor later on!!). Maybe I sound like the grumpy stick in the mud mom/parent... but it is a lot more work worrying about 5 kids in the yard than just my own 2. And my kids are now old enough that I don't have to be out there. I can be in the house getting laundry done instead of monitoring every second outside. But I'm not really comfortable with that when there are a lot of kids out there besides mine. Our kids invite friends over for play dates or sleep overs.. and we do live out a ways.. but we try really hard not to let that affect them having friends over. Yes, we have a pool. Son has an electric scooter. Plenty of bicycles too. Basketball net. There is lots to do and many reasons other kids would want to come here to play. But sometimes it is nice to have it just be US. My hubby works odd hours, and kids ringing the doorbell when he is trying to sleep at 10 a.m. on a Saturday morning b/c he's been at work all night can be a pain. Or running around the yard outside squealing when he is trying to nap before he goes to work that night.

So.. it depends on the family. I don't think our kids have been deprived of friendships or fun b/c we live in a neighborhood with fewer (or no) kids. We make sure they have plenty of opportunity for play with friends at the times/places of OUR choosing. Not by turning them out in the neighborhood to go in search of it on their own.
Besides... maybe that neighborhood with no kids is just waiting for a family with kids to move in! And then another. And another... Maybe there is an older couple just looking for some substitute grand kids to dote on since their own live across the country.

It just really depends on what suits EACH family. And all families are different. What makes your friend comfortable? Are they likely to open the door and let their kids run off in the neighborhood alone? Do they like hosting a gaggle of kids all the time? Are they maybe a little more private people? Some folks are VERY social. Some are NOT. Nothing is wrong with either...

We live in a great neighborhood... but it is a drive to go into town for anything. I love our house and it is worth it. The kids being here or not really has no bearing on it for me. I, personally, would not choose a neighborhood based just on the neighborhood kid factor.

And don't forget, those other families could decide to move too.

1 mom found this helpful

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