Which Do People Value More? Larger House or Kid Friendly Neighborhood?

I vote for and actually chose a larger house. I had that 'ideal' child friendly neighborhood on a cul de sac where the children rode their bikes, played basketball, played in and around each other homes, had 'block' parties, etc.... It is great for awhile until.....
families move and the new families bring additional cars or ignore speed limits
kids become teenagers and play loud inappropriate music at ear piercing volummes
neighbors who you think you are friends with either ignore or backstab you

So I would rather be a bit isolated and immune to these potential risks. We actually still own that kid family house as a rental (makes a great rental!) but I would never move back if I can help it.

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we have a big house and there are NO kids except ours. However we are not native to the area and have zero friends. We are people who like our privacy and are not fond of talking the "the Jones" just because their kids play...so I enjoy my big house that I can spend LOADS of time with my family and relatives. if I want my kid to play in the neighborhood, I would just have a playdate or sleep over. I am also pretty hands on with my kid and have not gotten the hang of 'letting go". I need to be able to see her at all times...So I may not give the best advice since I only have 1 and she is 2yo
NOW having said that...the streets surrounding us have lots of kids and during Halloween we have (yes I count them every year) between 100-117 children that trick or treat.
I can say I grew up in a small house with 5 kids. Across the street was a baseball diamond and a park (VERY quiet street for cars since it was a dead end)..I have LOTS of great memories just roaming to the park and playing with random kids...taught me to be pretty social.
We are moving to a new city again next year and I will be up against the same situation...hubby and I LOVE our quiet family time and privacy, but I know in order to have our DD social, we will need to get her outside more than just socializing at daycare.

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The thing with a bunch of neighbors is that you can't pick who they are. ;) You may end up with some great ones, but on the other hand, you might not. We purposefully chose a house in the country on several acres so that our kids could be kids: climbing trees, riding their bikes on our property, riding the ATV, building forts, trying their hand at a garden, paintball/airsoft, etc. We invite friends over all the time, so they are seldom lonely. And, if they are, that encourages them to play with each other rather than ignore the sibling in favor of a peer. I would def pick the better house with more control over who influences the children. But I'm funny like that. ;)

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Something to think about: We moved into a neighborhood that has kids in every house. There are 10 kids on my block alone in my son's grade yet none of the kids play together and I don't really associate with many of my neighbors-not that I dislike them but there is nothing in common. The kids did kind of play together when they were really little but in third grade they have pretty much gone their own way. In the summer our neighborhood is a ghost town-its not like the neighborhoods we group up with. Kids are scheduled with camps and sports and everything else. I guess what I am trying to say is that even if you move to a "kid-friendly" neighborhood there is no guarantee at all that your kids will play with the other kids or that you will have that closeness to the other families that you would think if you were in a family neighborhood.

That being said if there is a neighborhood in mind where he already knows the people there and can say for certain that he would fit in with the other families and that the kids will get along that is what he should probably go with.

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Personally, I would want a larger house if I was planning on having a large family. If the house was going to be built on a lot with lots of land and a pool, I would go for that over a neighborhood. I like my privacy, and you don't get that in some neighborhoods. Kids love pools, plus they would have land to play on. I grew up on a farm and my friends love coming to my house, we would play for hours outside, go exploring, etc. Parents teach their kids to ride on hills, should do that as a family anyway. Unless you are really lucky, most neighborhoods have their issues, I would like more privacy. If my kids want to play with friends go to parks or have them come to the house.
I'm for larger house...

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Big house for what?? More taxes? Higher mortgage? More insurance? More furniture to buy to fill it? More rooms to keep clean and organized?
NO THANKS!
I'll keep my small, easy to manage, affordable house that suits us just fine, in a kid friendly area.

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Kid friendly wins over my dream home anyday...we moved recently and looked at many dream homes. But really we wanted a place our kids would be happy. We were wanting a family community...not just a fancy schmancy house.(We can get that when the kids are off and on their own...if we want to)

We wanted a park, a pool, live in a court, a good neighborhood school and a large yard. We have put up with the negatives regarding the "look" of the house because over time we can put money in to it to make it to our liking. But in the meantime our kids have friends to play with, we live in our pool during the summer and have lots and lots of swim parties&playdates,we walk to the park all the time. This quality of life means soooo much more to me than the "shock and awe" affect we would get impressing everyone with our "dream home".

Kids don't care one bit about the fanciness of a home...they will appreciate all the fun memories and time you spend with them while growing up in "their kid friendly dream home." Tell your friend good luck in all the house hunting...it is a fun process but ohhhh soooo stressful...especially if the wifey is not on board with his vision of a "dream home" the ENTIRE family will be happy with.

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I'd say it depends a lot more on the dynamics of the individual family. We live sort of isolated... a developed neighborhood out in a mostly rural area with NOTHING within walking/biking distance. But, our neighborhood itself is quite kid friendly... There just aren't many kids. There were NONE when we moved here. But, we're in the deep south, where nobody WALKS or BIKES to go do stuff. There's very little public transport and everybody drives to work/school/play. It's pretty rural. But even IN the city limits, people drive for the most part.

Our previous neighborhood, the houses were close to together and it was a HUGE development and there were a lot of kids--on the other side of the neighborhood across a busy street. Our side was mostly retirees or families with teens; and we had toddlers. But we were the first household there too. NO kids anywhere. Shoot... no houses but ours and one other...

While we wanted (and still do want) our kids to have friends in the neighborhood to play with, there is something to be said for your home being family space/time. I LOVE when my 2 kids can go outside and play for HOURS on a Saturday with just each other and the dog. I know exactly what to expect of their behavior, and I know fully what they know is expected of them. And they really are a bonded couple of kids! Now that there are a few kids in the neighborhood, when my kids go outside, the neighbor kids often come over and join in the play. And I find that it makes me more nervous. Some kids are more aggressive, some are risk takers and dare devils... some don't seem aware of how their behavior affects the dog (throwing dirt bombs? the dog tries to catch them, ends up eating dirt, and then throws up on my living room floor later on!!). Maybe I sound like the grumpy stick in the mud mom/parent... but it is a lot more work worrying about 5 kids in the yard than just my own 2. And my kids are now old enough that I don't have to be out there. I can be in the house getting laundry done instead of monitoring every second outside. But I'm not really comfortable with that when there are a lot of kids out there besides mine. Our kids invite friends over for play dates or sleep overs.. and we do live out a ways.. but we try really hard not to let that affect them having friends over. Yes, we have a pool. Son has an electric scooter. Plenty of bicycles too. Basketball net. There is lots to do and many reasons other kids would want to come here to play. But sometimes it is nice to have it just be US. My hubby works odd hours, and kids ringing the doorbell when he is trying to sleep at 10 a.m. on a Saturday morning b/c he's been at work all night can be a pain. Or running around the yard outside squealing when he is trying to nap before he goes to work that night.

So.. it depends on the family. I don't think our kids have been deprived of friendships or fun b/c we live in a neighborhood with fewer (or no) kids. We make sure they have plenty of opportunity for play with friends at the times/places of OUR choosing. Not by turning them out in the neighborhood to go in search of it on their own.
Besides... maybe that neighborhood with no kids is just waiting for a family with kids to move in! And then another. And another... Maybe there is an older couple just looking for some substitute grand kids to dote on since their own live across the country.

It just really depends on what suits EACH family. And all families are different. What makes your friend comfortable? Are they likely to open the door and let their kids run off in the neighborhood alone? Do they like hosting a gaggle of kids all the time? Are they maybe a little more private people? Some folks are VERY social. Some are NOT. Nothing is wrong with either...

We live in a great neighborhood... but it is a drive to go into town for anything. I love our house and it is worth it. The kids being here or not really has no bearing on it for me. I, personally, would not choose a neighborhood based just on the neighborhood kid factor.

And don't forget, those other families could decide to move too.

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Neighborhood kids!

I've lived out in the boondocks with land and no kids around. Its boring. I've also lived in a neighborhood where the houses were on top of each other and no kids around. It too is boring! However, being lonely with neighbors around isn't as bad as being lonely in the boondocks.

Your friend should find a house with a comfortable neighborhood, near a elementary school. This will give them a playground to go to. Also the schools tend to have lots of evening activities.

M.

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both of them matter but when it comes down to it kid friendly.

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We have a small house for our family size. However, we have great neighbors, kids playing outside, generally a happy friendly place. A few years ago when I was pregnant with our fourth we went house hunting for something larger. But looking around we just didn't see the kids or people out and about. I think it may have had something to do with the fact that in order to afford the larger homes people needed to commute to higher paying areas for work so weren't home as often. I like seeing kids outside playing, people taking walks, working in their yards, etc. We decided to stay in our small house and couldn't be happier!

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I would vote kid-friendly neighborhood. It would seem to me a large home would attract families, but once discovering the area isn't family-friendly, it could be tough for resale.

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I'm all about the neighborhood! I've lived in both. I think where I live has much more to do with quality of life than what I live in.

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I don't live in my dream house OR a kid friendly neighborhood (there are two kids besides my son on the whole block!).

From personal experience, definantly a kid friendly neighborhood. I can get a new house anytime (and will, as soon as my kids grow up and can't ruin the carpet!) but I can't give them the outside, have fun with the neighbor kids experience back. Anything that gets my kids off the couch and video games to play outside is a huge plus in my book.

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We moved in 2009. We left our TINY house (1000 square feet) and moved to a new neighborhood. I MISS our old neighborhood, but only a little. Our new neighborhood is kid friendly, but there are not many kids nearby. The houses are not huge, but plenty big IMO. Our home was built in the 60's and many of our neighbors are original to the neighborhood. Most of them have lived here since the homes were built. So, we have lots of grandma's and grandpas but not many kids.

That said - we are within walking distance to our local elementary and middle schools. For me that was HUGE. I think the neighborhood will "turn" while our kids are growing up, and more kids will move in.

I think your friend should consider several things. A huge house is a huge house to heat, cool, clean, and maintain. Already I notice I truly do spend twice as much time cleaning as I used to (our current home is about 2600 square feet). Plus our yard is way bigger, so that is a ton more time spent mowing (although I'll be ripping up turf this spring to put in gardens - that's work too). Think about the resources it takes to keep one of those giant (3000 sq ft or bigger) comfortable! Think about the cost of furnishing it? We still have rooms in our home with practically nothing in them and we've lived here for a year and half... we just don't feel like we can spend the money to buy furniture right now. Is a pool that important? Think about the resources to maintain it - that costs money too. If it's a stretch to buy the pool, can they afford to fill it, treat it, hire a pool guy, etc?

I think a home is important. We moved across the city because we couldn't find a home we wanted in our old area that was big enough.... we really wanted more than 2,000 square feet since there are 5 of us... but, the neighborhood is just as important! You have to consider all the factors.
J.

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I'd go with the smaller house and safe neighborhood. My husband and I are actually renting a duplex that was on the fringe of our budget but it allowed our children to have a safe street to play on, lots of children to play with, it's got a nice big yard that came with a resident dog, and it's well within walking/biking distance to pretty much everything we need around town (we do have a van but it's rarely used). Our place is small, only 3 bedrooms, but we don't need a lot of room. Honestly, the house size of families in our society is kind of ridiculous. Sure, a private pool and a good sized plot of land would be nice, I suppose (I'd probably dig it all up for a garden anyway, LOL) but if the family isn't happy, what's the point?

Someday, I hope to have my own house on a small plot of town outside of town. But even then, I don't plan on going big. 10 years, ago, I would have said big. But I've learned a lot in the intervening years about what's actually important about family and friends and having a huge house to rattle around in to show off to friends that probably don't care (unless they're materialistic) other than the fact they're happy you're happy certainly isn't one of them.

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Interesting question! I don't currently live in my dream house nor my dream neighborhood. Both I would classify my location as average, generally safe, typical.

Particularly with young children, I say the more important factor, especially this day in age is kid friendly neighborhood. When children and families are young, they need outdoor space, space to walk, friendly and trustworthy neighbors, etc. As kids get older, more personal space is desired as well as more socially "cool" attributes to a home, such as a pool or large entertaining area.

I think regardless of your location, income, or preference, the world would be a better place if we abandoned this trashy idea of the suburban neighborhood, home owner's association, house on top of house world we live in and could somehow reclaim our neighborhoods. Larger yards, more originality in home building, more green space, more energy efficient homes, restoring existing homes with historical value, and encouraged access to a true sense of community-knowing your neighbors and their kids. Sadly, I think this is getting harder and harder to find except maybe in small towns and less populated areas of the country.

I mourn leaving my home in a small town in a different part of the country before our child was born. I knew my neighbors, even trusted most of them, had 2 lots for the price of one, a small, but lovely and efficient home, and enough safety to walk my dogs at 2 am by myself!

Safer for the kids for sure, big, newer, fancy homes are energy sucks and overrated. The time you spend with your kids and the sense of security you'll feel is a much more lasting pleasure! Plus, your children will know what truly matters...them!

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It's a life-style choice, with or without money in the equation. Those who live in communities where the homes are spread out, and there are no sidewalks or cul de sacs, are the same people who invest time in taking their kids to activities, and friends homes (you know the Soccer mom with the mini-van stereotype). Because this is the norm in these communities, his children will not be with out friends.

The benefit of this lifestyle is you have more privacy, and control over guests in your home. You'll have a lot less impromptu visits from neighbors, and very few days (at least until the kids are old enough to drive) where your home is over-run with the neighborhood kids.

The downside is stores, and conveniences found in more urban areas are far and wide, and sometimes walking to these places (if that's what you're into) is next to impossible.

It boils down to whether or not you value privacy and quiet, or are a very social person who likes the bustle of a more urban environment.

If he can't decide, maybe considering the schools in either community should be the deciding factor. Schools and quality of education should be big on his radar if he's not planning on sending his kids to a private school.

Second, commute time to work.

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I would rather be cramped and live in a community centric environment than live like a queen in isolation. My neighbors and our front porches enrich our lives in ways that can't be quantified.

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Safe and kid friendly with a good school district. Having the largest house in a not so wonderful or more distant location doesn't help with resale value either.

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You can find a large house with a kid friendly neighborhood. But ....For us......smaller house equals smaller house payment, smaller gas and electric bills, smaller easier to manage yard. You have a shot at paying off the house before the kids go to college, which makes paying for college easier. Then the kids leave and you are left with a house that is paid off and just the right size.

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For us, getting a house that is within our means and is a good neighborhood is the priority. I don't have the time, energy or money to maintain a fancy house (wish I did). But the neighborhood, with kids to play with, and safe, and friendly neighbors--that is crucial IMO.

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Having done both - I definitely vote for the kid friendly neighborhood over a large house.

I'm in a huge home right now and the problem is that at this level, there are not any kids to play with and the neighbors are old, close to retirement, kids grown and gone, or owners of their businesses and too busy to barely wave "Hi." Yes, it's lonely and isolating.

Also, we had our own pool at the last house, and it doesn't keep the kids entertained as long as one might think unless you invite friends over. They are a lot of work and unsafe with young children. So it chewed up a lot of my time watching the kids in the pool. I still loved it though, b/c I like to swim.

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Larger house would always be the option for our family.

I don't care how great the neighborhood is, if we can fit into our house and we're bursting at the seams I would probably be miserable.

kid friendly neighborhood hands down

Hi,

There are good and bad sides to each choice. We don't live in a huge house, but it is good size for us. Our street is not very kid friendly with hills and some traffic. However we feel very fortunate to have a house with a substantial amount of yard. We have swings, a swimming pool, and lots of room to play. There aren't many kids in our neighborhood, because the area is populated more with older couples. But we have family, and friends with kids who visit us very often. My sister-in-law lives in a very kid friendly condominium complex. Her daughter is older than ours. Her friends are mostly moving out and buying their own houses because they want to have a yard for the kids to play etc.. Not that there wasn't a swimming pool, recreational area in their complex. My sister-in-law's daughter is starting to ask her mom if they can buy a house too. So even though she has lots of friends where she is now, she still sees value in having her own backyard etc.. Your friend should make a list of the good and bad sides to each story and figure out what is best for him. And trust me he will figure it out.

I would also be sure to consider the schools for the area. We "choose" to live in our kid friendly middle class neighborhood because we love our neighbors and the environment is great for kids... I think of it as the kids' perspective. It's safe and people are friendly. The kids don't care about the house itself as long as it's enough space and safe and "home". I vote for the neighborhood and house...

I'm in the process of putting my dream house on the market and downsizing to something smaller in a kid friendly neighborhood. I thought my boys would be sad but my older boy is looking forward to having fewer chores since he now has to help mow and shovel snow on our large lot. My youngest hopes to find friends in the new neighborhood. We're on a hill now and the neighborhood we like is flat, has lots of sidewalks to razor and ripstick, is walk and bike friendly, has parks and a pizza place we could stroll to.

Some things I like about our current neighborhood of dream homes is that it is safe, quiet and our neighbors are terrific. But the houses are on large lots and we don't see them much. It feels isolated. But we also don't hear their dogs barking or see into eachother's houses from the kitchen window. It's private if that's what you like. It's also nice having a big house when the weather is bad and you're stuck inside. And we like having people over, with room for teens to gather in one part of the house and adults in another. We don't have a pool but we do have a big flat grassy backyard for volleyball or games and I like being able to open my house when one of my kids' groups need a place to meet or have a party.

When my kids were little and all 4 were living at home, the space was worth it. But now that my 2 youngest are teens, a central location means they could walk or bike to school, and even take the bus around town. And I'll be happy to have lower tax and heating bills, another benefit of living in a smaller house.

I value my neighbors and not driving my children around, and I like being around people. We purposefully don't do more than one activity per child so that they can play outside with other children. It comes down to what one values. There is no sense that one needs to buy the most expensive house one can - putting more in a 401K or saving for college or going to Europe - sponsoring a child with Compassion Int'l and going to visit that child as a family - are all other things one can do. It's also impt to deny children things so they have to work for something and learn to do without.

I have a townhouse. I love it. Small and less to clean. There is a small area for the townhouses where there aren't too many kids...which I don't mind. Even though I have 2 of my own. Then the rest of our subdivision has lots of average sized homes. Lots of kids, parks, ponds. I would rather have that. I wouldn't want a house secluded away with land. Boring!

Location without a doubt. You can always remodel, but you can't change a location to be "nicer" without moving!

We love our little neighborhood and small town, which is not what I would have said 10 yrs ago! There are tons of children in our neighborhood, everyone helps out without asking or expecting anything in return, safe for the kids to play outside, walk to "town" for restaurants and lots of activities...

A kid-friendly neighborhood was our #1 request when we started looking. Our agent showed us a couple of beautiful homes, but they were on a ton of land and isolated. That just wasn't for us- we like hanging out chatting with our neighbors while the kids play.

I would have to say for me a kid friendly neighborhood. For the most part you sleep in the house. I like to take my kids out and have places for them to go. Unfortunaley my town does not have much for us so I go to the town next door so my kids could have some fun.

If you have kids, you probably would want to live in a community or neighborhood where they can go out and play and you feel comfortable allowing them to do so. Having a big house is nice but kids can't stay in the house all the time if they neighborhood outside is not kid-friendly. Just my own opinion.

We went for the larger house. While we have easy access to the most private pool and are in "the best" neighborhood, I have to invite kids over from old neighborhoods. I have to stay outside and supervise if they are in the front yard. I would give up the 2 extra bedrooms to have a kidfriendly neighborhood. I can't wait till the market rebounds and we can move.

I wanted a little bit of both.
Our house isn't huge, but is good for our family of 3 right now and there is enough room at add on if we wanted to (and still have a good size yard).
Our street doesn't have a lot of kids on it, but is pretty quiet, and there is a park at the end of my street and an elementary school. The street itself does have some traffic on it but nothing ridiculous.
The reason why having a "kid friendly" neighborhood isn't a deal breaker for me is because I grew up out in the country...our nearest neighbors were about 10 miles away. So having a lot of kids on the street isn't really important to me. I do feel our street is child friendly, our neighbors always bring over a Christmas gift and an Easter gift for my little girl. =)
If we don't want to add on to this house, we are planning on using it as a rental house in the future and purchasing another one, but we are definately not getting rid of this house.
Good Luck to your friend!

Kid friendly neighborhood. Kids don't care about the house, they care about having fun. I wish we had a smaller house with a bigger yard and more younger kids. If it's a financial stress to have the bigger house, don't do it. Adequate house, larger yard, pools can be a drowning hazard- but maybe ok if kids are older. Less space is easier to clean if you can't afford someone to clean for you.

we lived in a fairly nice apartment for 9 years. my son growing up from 1-8 years old did fine with this set up. there were no kids for him to play with and not a big yard but we made do. we just moved into a kid friendly neighborhood and my son asked us why we didn't move sooner. he loves having kids to play with and to ride his bike and i love knowing that i can yell out the door and he is within a distance to hear me!!! kid friendly over a show and tell house..... any day!!!!

I do not live in my dream home. BUT my child can walk to school, play with neighborhood friends and we can take family walks to a park, etc. When I was a kid we used to live in a neighborhood where all the kids ran and played together and when we moved I really missed that. I'd put an addition on a house where I liked vs buying one with nothing around.

Bear in mind that in an isolated house, they will also end up driving their kids to all their friends' homes or having a lot of kids at their home. Not bad per se but something to consider.

I will admit that sometimes I envy bigger homes or more land, but we can't afford it, and some of the bigger homes in our area are on busier streets where I couldn't let the kids play as freely. Anywhere with a quiet street and a bigger lot is typically a longer commute, too, so we'd give up the 20 minutes to work for more like 40. I've done the 40-60+ minute commute and it eats into family time in ways I didn't like. I felt like we ate, did HW, and went to bed.

And, for us, we'd rather keep our debt load low/put money toward college and retirement than end up in a house we can't afford and would lose just when we needed it.

SO...many variables, but that's what I think.

i would look for a 4 bedroom in a housing development personally most housing developments have different bedroom numbers and are mainly young families and some have beautiful

We recently moved into a bigger house to accomodate the family. We now have 2500 sqft and a pool. We love our house! BUT, you can't interview the neighbors before moving in. Come to find out, most of our neighbors kids are all grown and have moved out. My 6 & 4 yr old have no other kids to play with on our street. The house we came from was 1600sqft, but it was fully upgraded and was a nice home. We had about 20 kids on our street, although my kids didn't play with them too much. We however are not at all secluded, about a three minute walk and we are to a neighborhood that has lots of kids. Now that my kids are starting school and making friends it's not such of a big deal. I guess I am glad I am in a bigger house, I think this is the house we will hpefully stay in through the highschool years.

There are so many factors to consider. Commuting is one. Is the kid
friendly neighborhood safe? I think you will get a 50/50 response to this
question.

Neighborhood. No doubts. We have the most amazing neighborhood and live in the smallest house. We are a community, our schools are awesome because even though your children have graduated, we are all still invested in the schools. Our parks are also maintained because we feel like they are our parks.

We watch out for each other, good or bad.

I have lots of clients with large homes. The cost, the energy and the responsibility to maintain those homes is incredible. It can be a full time job. And since the homes are not very close to each other, it is harder to stay close with your neighbors.

Right now we live in a very kid friendly neighborhood and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love knowing that all the neighborhood kids play together. It is nothing to look out my back window and see kids playing that aren't mine, but at the same time my kids are in the neighbor's yard playing. Since we have a long paved driveway there is always someone riding their bike up and down it. In the summer time we always just park at the end so no one else will drive up it. As long as there will be ample space in the smaller house I would def recommend this one. Cars will also drive by your house slower in a kid friendly neighborhood.

kid friendly, we had a huge house in a "great" neighborhood there was one kid my sons age, seriously one kid. We sold the big house bought a smaller house bigger yard in a neighborhood with a bunch of kids. Little boys much much happier

My house is too small for us but I love our neighborhood. We don't have any options right now because of the overall economy and our personal financial situation, but our intent when we bought our house was to put on a 2nd floor in a few years (a few years being now lol) because a small house with small kids was fine and we really, really love being where we are. We are in walking distance to the schools, church, library, most sporting fields, and many of my children's friends houses. Lots of kids come over after school and from a working mom standpoint, my older kids are able to do a lot of activities after school that they wouldn't have been able to do if they needed to take the bus home. I grew up in a good-size house, but we were on the outskirts of town in walking distance to nowhere. It was a royal pain for my mother to have to get in the car and drive us everywhere.

Kid freindly is always better. When the kids are school age it's so nice for them have other kids to run up and down the hills with, play hide & go seek, ride bikes, lay in the grass, etc. Plus - bigger houses mean more cleaning...!