Where Do Babies Come From? - Grand Blanc,MI

Updated on February 23, 2008
R.O. asks from Grand Blanc, MI
17 answers

My son will be 4 years old in a few weeks and has started asking a lot of questions about where babies come from, how they get out of their mommy's belly, etc. Several of his playmates have new baby brothers and sisters and his Aunt and Uncle are expecting a baby, too. I am seeking advice on age-appropriate responses to his questions.

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W.P.

answers from Detroit on

Me and my husband found a cute movie called mommy where did i come from it is narrated by howie mandell and is a cartoon and although it is honest and complete it keeps it clean if you would like to use it you are more then welcome to you can leave me a message on here or email me at ____@____.com.

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J.W.

answers from Detroit on

hi, i had this problem when my daughter was 4 or 5 and i told her that when the time comes that the baby wants out, they will go to the hospital and the dr will take the baby out. then they will go home with there new baby. this seemed to satify her and she hasnt asked any more questions about it.And it not a lie. the dr does take the baby out, but you just dont go into detail about how. =)

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

This is a very difficult subject to handle when they are so young. You are right, once the other babies start appearing, so do all the questions. Having a daughter and a son, I found that the girls are even more curious. This is usually because they want one too! Our desire to be mothers starts when we are babies ourselves. My daughter was 3 when my son was born. She wouldn't let up with the questions. She was very temporarily pleased with vague answers. I started with just saying that God had created mothers with a special place that babies grown in inside of the mommy called a womb. She did ask where they come out and I did tell her that there is a place called the birth canal that the baby travels thru. I felt that she needed to hear things that were truthful. I didn't want to make her afraid. We also have to be careful how we explain things because we know they may repeat them to their playmates. There is a very fine line. She later asked how babies inside the mommy eat. So on that conversation we talked about the cord and the belly button, etc. She was fine with that, as well. As I said, the vague answers lasted a little while. She came back to me at one point (around 4 yrs.) and asked, "On my body where will my babies come out?" OK, so much for the vague answers. Obviously, each of us have to be comfortable with this conversation, and we need to present it in a natural, healthy, honest way. We want them to grow up with the proper information as well as feel it's normal to ask questions and that they can come to us.
So, here is my answer....
I asked her if she understood were her pee pee comes out and were her poops come out. Did she understand that they don't come out the same hole. She said, "I know that mommy!" I then held up 3 fingers. I pointed to my first finger and said ladies have three holes. Still pointing to the first finger I explained the first hole is for the pee pee, pointing to the third finger I explained the third hole is for poops. Now on ladies we have a hole in the middle were the babies come out.
I talked again about the birth canal and used the correct name for the middle hole.
Here's the funny part...
Her eyes became wide and she said those big babies come out a tiny hole like that??? So I did my best to cover that question. Then she said I have one more question for you!!!!
I thought oh no, please, no more questions! I said OK, one more question.
"MOMMY WILL YOU HAVE MY BABIES FOR ME?" You've got to love kids.

I guess, what I am saying is, keep the answers as short, and honest as possible. Sometimes we answer more than they are asking. We don't need to lie, or make them feel like it's a dirty question. We have to be careful of our responses, both verbal and body language.

The "facts of life" were answered a little here and a little there. We found that there wasn't much to cover on the "big talk" because it was so gradual over the years. Most had been covered already. It was more of a conversation to wrap up the loose ends, and to make sure everything was clear.

Take these times of conversation and incorporate the issues of what is appropriate too. Like touching. Who can touch and were. They need to understand, for example, that your doctor can check you/touch you in a place that your friends, or teachers, etc. are not allowed to. Teach them how to say NO. We can use these opportunities to really educate, connect and grow GREAT emotional and verbal relationships with our children. Let's face it, we'd rather they ask us than their friends. Nothing my children come home with from their friends has been appropriate or even accurate, for that matter. The great news is, they told me and asked more questions. SOMETIMES, it means you have to call another mommy. Unfortunately.

I found that each question and answer lasted about 3 months and then she'd be back with the next level to the previous question. Yes, she did probably learn more than most kids at the same age. You have to decide for yourself what is appropriate for THAT child. There DID come a day that she asked a question that required to specific of detail for her.
I told her that she already knew a lot more than most children her age. The question she was asking was just a little bit too grown up for now, that I would answer her when she was a little bit older. She was OK with that. For a little while. :)

2 moms found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Detroit on

First of all for any age, ask them what they think. This will help determine the depth of the answer required. Sometimes kids don't need much to satisfy them and we overload them with information. Second, the library should have books for young children. I can suggest Hello Baby! by Lizzy Rockwell and The New Baby at Your House by Joanna Cole

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C.D.

answers from Detroit on

I have a son who is 4 (and a daughter who is 10) and their Aunt and Uncle just had a baby and lots of the children at my son's preschool are expecting new brothers or sisters soon. He asked me how the babies get in the mommy's tummies and how they are going to get out. Coming out was the easy part, his Aunt had a c-section so that is the way I told him his baby cousin came out - he's too little to understand about a normal delivery anyway, it would probably just freak him out.

The advice our pediatrician gave for both of our children at that age (she asked around that age too) was to tell them that God put the baby in the mommy's tummy. Again, at that age they are too young to understand and it would probalby just freak them out if they knew the truth. I told both of them that the mommy and the daddy loved each other so much that God gave them a baby.

Of course, as my daughter got older I told her the truth about everything. I always let her lead the way the conversations would go about babies and sex - you never want to assume anything abuot what they are asking and I didn't want to go too far with her at such a young age. Friends at school told my daughter lots of things about sex when she was 8 so I told her the real deal and she was pretty much freaked out "you and Daddy did that two times!?!? GROSS!!!" was her reacation. Of course, she's getting older and has more & more questions. She still leads the way our conversations go.

And anyway, I say let them stay young and innocent as long as they can, they have their whole lives ahead of them to know all that grown up junk :) Good luck!!

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P.K.

answers from Saginaw on

Hi R..
I have a 5 and 3 year old and two on the way. The question has come up on how they are going to come out and how did they get in there. We are very honest with our children and showed them a very detailed magazine we got form the hospital. We omited the graphic pictures of the woman giving birth. It showed everything from the egg being fertilized to a 9 month old baby. And when the baby comes out, mom just goes to the hospital and the doctor takes the baby out. I don't believe they need to know every detail. As long as they have the basic concept. And the baby is in moms tummy because god has made that happen and non of that is a lie. Good luck. Hope this helped

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L.B.

answers from Detroit on

Try to find out exactly what he is asking. Some kids are content with the answer that babies come from the hospital. My 4&1/2 year old still talks about how his little brother was in my belly and came out of my belly button. He's content with that.

T.M.

answers from Lansing on

One book we found that we liked is called "It's Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends" by Robie Harris.

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B.P.

answers from Detroit on

I am in this exact same situation, and I'd love some advice too.

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S.J.

answers from Detroit on

I just asked this question last week about my four year old! Good luck

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A.C.

answers from Detroit on

We were lucky enough to see a baby calf born at the 4H fair two summers ago. This has helped so much we were so lucky to be there to watch it.

Otherwise I try to answer questions as simply and honestly as I can. No need to add extra details when not necessary.

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H.S.

answers from Detroit on

At four they are really ready for the truth. My 3 year old is inquiring about the same thing and I went to Barnes and Noble and found a kid friendly book with pictures(disceet) and it has satisfied her craving for knowledge. I will occasionally let her watch A Baby Story on TLC with me so she can see how they push the baby out. Your child will let you know when you are giving too much information. Let him lead you in the discussion and you will be fine.

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S.S.

answers from Detroit on

I got a GREAT book from the library! Unfortunately i can't remember the name of it. But check with your librarian, they have so many resources that fit every age and knowledge level...

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M.W.

answers from Saginaw on

My son was 4 when my daughter was born, when he asked that question I told him 'when it's time, mommy would go to the hospital and the doctor would take the baby out'. I didn't elaborate and that seemed to satisfy his curiosity.

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A.G.

answers from Detroit on

My stepson was 6 when I got pregnant with his sister, I think that honesty is the best policy. We explained that babies are made with love...that when a husband and a wife love each other, God blesses them with a baby. The baby grows in a water balloon in the mommy's tummy until its big enough to eat and breathe all on its own. Then when its ready to be born, the mommy goes to the hospital and the doctors help the mommy deliver the baby through a very special part of the mommy's body....easier to explain if you know you're having a c-section...but I told him it was located near the place where I go to the bathroom and that it was built just for having babies. It is painful for mommy's to have babies, I'm sure he's seen something about it on TV, but that the doctors can give them medicine to feel better.

Hope this helps...it works for us...and he loved going to see the ultrasound of the baby that lived in the water balloon!

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H.G.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I don't know!! However, when you find out...let me know!!

Just kidding!! There is actually a great book from a creation perspective through Focus on the Family. You might be really interested in it. Blessings.

H.

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K.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

When we had to take my son to his big brother class at 4 1/2 they just said mommy's have a special opening for the baby to come out of. My son has accepted this and seems to have dropped the subject.

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