When to Stop Showering with Your Little One?

Updated on June 04, 2011
K.M. asks from Encinitas, CA
23 answers

My daughter is 3.5 and enjoys showering with my husband and me. I'm wondering when you mom's decided it's time for kiddies to bathe alone?

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Five or six? You're still okay for a few years. I was naked around my kids way longer than I showered with them. It just sort of stopped one day, I didn't plan anything.

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

my girls stopped showering w/ my hubby (we only did it when we were really rushed to get somewhere) at about 3 - 3.5.

I still will shower w/ my 4 YO, but again it's a convenience thing.... not an every day/ every week thing. I think maybe after 5 I might even stop doing that with them... but who knows.

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L.L.

answers from Rochester on

Ouch. I would never let my daughters shower with my husband...TMI. I kind've feel like they have no need, at that age, to have an understanding of the male anatomy. He feels even more strongly about it than I do.

However, I took showers with my daughter until she was about 4. She still sees me naked, and I don't see a problem with it...after all, we're both female. She sees me nurse.

I'm sorry, but I think it's wrong for a female child that age to shower with her father.

And...just my opinion...the world would be a better place if people were more modest about nudity among the opposite sex. We don't live in Eden. We are all born of sin, and in my opinion, nudity among the opposite sex (except for husband and wife) is wrong. Just my opinion.

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C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

I TRY to take a shower alone but as soon as my son hears the shower turn on he's naked and jumping in with me. He just turned four a week ago.

I'm not a fan of sharing a shower because someone is left out in the cold with no water. Of COURSE he gets the water and I'm left freezing until I convince him he's CLEAN and can get out. Nothing like arguing with your kid in the shower!

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

It's time when it makes the kid uncomfortable. Until then, it's fine, regardless of genders.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I think this is a really personal choice for each family. It shows pretty easily when kids start to get uncomfortable with being naked in front of other people. That's when I think it becomes really important to respect their feelings/uneasiness about nudity.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

There's no right/wrong answer.

I've said numerous times that my family (grandparents, parents, kids. cousins, etc.) all end up popping in and out of the showers together (particularly at the beach/ camping/ etc.) There's just no nudity taboo in my family, privacy is personal choice.

Other families don't even breastfeed because they consider it a p****** p*** that shouldn't be seen by other people... or only little boys aren't allowed to breastfeed (or little girls are not to be diapered or bathed with dad). They equate nudity with sex. Which I find icky, but to each their own. ((I just don't understand how one can view children, much less your own family as sex objects. It's just gross imho... but these families do view children sexually, so they have to follow their own rules)).

It's whatever works for you.

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

I still shower with my daughter and she's 4 now. In my family same sex showers were common due to the lack of water in some of the countries we lived. It continued long into my teens because it was necessary.

I would allow my daughter to share hot water with me as long as she was comfortable. Sometimes it's necessary being a stay at home mom, I can't just jump in the shower anytime I want so sometimes it's just faster to share or to have her with me in the bathroom while I shower. Mostly the latter is not the best choice because she gets bored and opens the door to talk to me anyway. Hehe.

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M.M.

answers from Tucson on

We stopped letting my daughter shower with her dad and seeing him naked around 3 1/2. I think around 5 i stopped showering with her. I still walk around naked in front of her and she is 7 yrs old. I have shown her books and we have them available to describe male and female body parts and the changes that occur in the body as we mature. I dont think being naked is a big deal. The United States is the most uptight counrty about nudity. I grew up in Germany where being naked is not a big deal at all. I dont think 3 yr olds are capable of washing themselves correctly either. I think if i had boy children i would not let them see me naked past the age of 3 either.

1 mom found this helpful

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is 4 and we shower together everyday. Its just easier to get it all done at once!

1 mom found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Spokane on

My not quite 5 yo still showers with her dad but only because we're so rushed in the morning and our landlady throws a real fit if we go over on our water consumption (We pay the extra so I'm not so sure why she's so upset about it.) >.< We tried getting her up earlier to shower with me and her sister but that did not go well. Sigh... Her sister (6) still occasionally showers with her dad but she's started backing off that one on her own. She's getting bigger on privacy. We all still see each other naked though. It's hard not to with 6 people in a small apartment and a teeny bathroom.

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I NEVER showered with my dad - EVER.

I showered with my mom until I was five MAYBE.

My boys showered with me until they were 5 or 6...yes, they've seen me naked - I don't "flaunt" I DO cover up - but there have been times when they have seen me in the shower....

Overall - I wouldn't have my daughter shower with her dad past the age of 2. This is MY personal opinion..

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M.

answers from Las Vegas on

You should do whatever works best for you. I'm not sure why other moms equate nudity with sexuality. If you don't make a big deal about it, neither will your kids. So what if your kids ask questions? Should my daughter not know that one day she will have large breasts too? I'd rather my kids ask me questions and give them age appropriate answers then to worry about where they are getting their info.

Anyway, my theory on showering together is: You can stop when your kiddo can climb into the shower alone, turn on the water, do a fantastic job shampooing and washing and not need any help. I am a multi-tasker and showering with my kiddos ( ages 6 and 3) makes my life so much easier. My daughter will probably be showering on her own very soon as she has been much better about washing her hair properly and rinsing it all out.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Same sex is probably ok.
I think at 3.5 I would not have a girl showering with her dad.
I have a son but I don't think I would have showered with him at 3.5. Dad--yes. Me--no.

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

My son just turned 3 and still occassionally showers with me or my husband. He talks all the time, but strangely enough, doesn't ask or talk about our body parts at all while in the shower. Someone told me to stop showering with your kid when they start looking at you funny or when you start to feel weird about it. He's potty training so watches me and my husband pee all the time. Is that weird too? I will likely stop showering with him very soon. But it's likely that my husband will help out with the showering a little longer.

(On THE TALK the other day on tv this was brought up. A couple moms said age 5 or 6 was okay. Leah Remini said 6 yrs old is insane - that she can't imagine showering with her 6 yr old. I think she said she stopped around 2 or 3.)

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R.D.

answers from New York on

Hi,
I think I read around 3. However, I showered with my son occasionally until he was about four. He would just pop into the shower and it just caused more interest and questions when I would immediately jump out when he jumped in, so I slowly got him out of the habit and he is a very normal 5 year old. I think this is all really what works for your family and what type of child you have. It was amazing to see and hear about the kids in my son's day care, in regard to how different each child was in noticing differences and being a little more advanced. My son is pretty oblivious.

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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

I think that showering with the same sex parent is fine. I would stop the showering with the opposite sex parent soon since this is the age when kids really start noticing and it might make for awkward times for your husband.

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

We cut my daughter off from showering with Dad when she turned 3. She still showers with me as does my son (who is 2.5). We will cut him off from showering with me when he turns 3 as well. My husband and I recalled that our earliest memories were around 3 years old, so that was our rationale. They don't shower with us all the time -- usually 1-2 times a week and the rest is baths together for now. We are soon to have a 2nd boy so eventually it will probably be girl bathtime and then boy bathtime at our house.

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Mine is almost 6 y/o and we still shower together... tho if I don't feel like it and she's dirty, she will take a bath alone.

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C.M.

answers from New York on

I personally feel that once a child is able to recognize body parts and able to ask questions about them. In my opinion, 3 1/2 is too old for a child to shower with their parents. I'm sure that you guys as parents are decent people, but your child needs to be showering alone now.

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Around 2. Kids that young remember everything... and openly tell people all about what they have seen!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I have vague memories of myself and my brother showering with dad, but they are very vague, so we probably stopped about 4ish. I know it was before 5, because we lived in a different house when I started Kindergarten. My husband has never showered with our dd, he's afraid of anyone hearing about it and thinking he's a child molester or something. I still shower with her (she's 4) because she totally loves showers and I'm not comfortable letting her shower alone yet.

M..

answers from St. Louis on

I dont think my daughter has ever seen my husband naked.

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