When to Start Kindergarten - Morristown,NJ

Mysta, I have four children (three with Jan/Feb birthdays, and my fourth with a Sept birthday). That half plus year makes a huge difference at 4 and 5 years old. At four. my youngest just wasn't ready for pre-K, he didn't sit still, and he wandered (would leave the room, house etc). After much soul searching and talking to a ton of mothers, we decided to start him in pre-k instead of Kindergarten when he turned five this year. He is doing fine there, but an all day Kindergarten would have been too much. Every mother I talked to who kept her child until 6 continued to back the decision without regret. I heard far more "I wish I had kept my child one more year" from parents with these late birthday children (especially boys). Kids adapt and more parents are waiting so being a little older is not a problem. Every child is an individual, but I don't regret my decision. Hope this helps.

Mom to four - ages 12,10,8, and 5.

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I started both my kids at age 6 and am glad I did. They each have June birthdays and I thought they needed time to mature. The school world is tough, and I don't see any reason to hurry childhood.

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Dear Mysta, I would do the same thing. I am a mother of 3 and I am 60 years old. When I was in doubt I always looked at the Waldorf School curriculum. They believe in holding on to childhood and play till the first change of teeth. Life can not be rushed, there is a development of growth which needs its due time. Love, B.

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my daughter turns 5 on august 25th so she can start kindergarten but we have decided to let her start the following year due to maturity level & shyness.....she has been in preschool for the past 2 yrs & will do well academically in kindergarten but i dont want her to struggle in higher grades......good luck with your decision

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My son is 3 (turns 4 in April) and this is his first year of Pre-K. It has been great for him. He can write his name and is very interested in learning how to spell now. He only goes 2 days a week for 2 1/2 hours each time, but it's been worth it and a benefit to him. Before school, we didn't do many playdates and most of his interaction was with adults. So this was good for him to be the other kids. Good luck.

I own a Montessori preschool and have a full day kindergarten program. The school district that I live and work in only has a half day kindergarten program. Because my program is full-day they have given me a cut off date of December 31 verses October 1. All I can say is BIG MISTAKE out of the 14 kindergarten children I have only three would have made the October 1 cut off day so 11 children ALL BOYS just turned five. It has been a very trying time. Academically they are all doing beautifully, however maturity has been a big issue. I have behavior issues everyday because they are young and immature. If I were you I would wait until they are 6. There are so many advantages of letting them wait. One being they are much more mature and can sit for longer periods of time which is necessary with the kindergarten curriculum. Second, when they begin to play sports they will also have the advantage of being older. As a result of my current kindergarten class I am moving my kindergarten age back to the district cut off date for the next school year. I think in the long run the longer you wait and allow kids to just be kids the better off they will be. There are so many demands on children in school and if they are not emotionally ready it can be an unnecessary struggle for the entire family. I think you are wise for considering your options. Good luck in whatever you decide.

My daughters bday is Aug 2, and our district cut off is Dec1 so we started her since her bday is close to the middle of the year. However, my sons bday is Nov 30 so he would be the absolute youngest in his class if we start him. I asked my daughters Pre K teacher what I should do and she told me to wait a year before starting him in Pre K. She said that a lot of the time with boys especially that they wind up being held back in Kindergarten if they start to young because they aren't ready regardless of how smart they may be. So, I am facing the same dilemma come Sept. I am curious to see the other responses that you get. Good luck!!!

Hi Mysta,
All I can say to you is that every child is different. I don't think you will lose anything by at least trying, get them in and see how they develop. If they are not mature enough the teacher will let you know and you can always pull them out and try again the following year. My oldest son had turn 5 on July 8th, I had sent him to preschool 1/2 a day when he was 4 and he did wonderfully in kinder. My daughter in the other hand was 4 when she started kinder by a few days. Her birthday is on Sept. 14th. She was the youngest child in the class and yet has been in the gifted and talented since kinder (she is now in 3rd grade).
So in other words, you don't know what they are capable of; until you try them. If you have been teaching them at home, then give it a try, they might do great and if they are not the teacher will let you know and you can then send them to preschool if you like it.

Why no preschool?? Children need to start learning at that impressionalbe young age. If they had gone to preschool, they preschool teacher would have been able to assist you and tell you if they are ready for kindergarten. Preschool is not so much about academics, but social adjustment. If you decide not to send your chidlren to kindergarten, I would HIGHLY recommend sending they to preschool or a pre-k next year. It will only help them..
good luck

I've noticed you said, "kids" so I'm assuming you have more than one child to start in kindergarten. I do not believe in lumping all kids together in the same category. Every child is different. What may hold true for a majority of cases, may not hold true for your child. The best thing you can do is to contact the school and find out exactly what is expected of your children and what they need to know before they enter kindergarten. (ex: do they need to know the alphabet, to write their name, how long of a period should they be able to sit still...) Then you can prepare them. Take them to a friend's house and practice leaving them there for short intervals. Don't assume that they won't do well, because they haven't gone to pre-school. You should have already taught them the main social skills they need, which is to be polite. They already know how to socialize with other children, since they have each other. Have them sit and color or draw pictures for you to improve fine motor control. Take them to gymnastics or martial arts classes or do exercise videos with you if you're concerned with balance. The truth is that I've seen kids started early and kids started late in my son's classes. Guess what? The ones started late are the ones doing all the teasing and aren't doing so well academically, but remember there are always exceptions where some kids do better starting late.

My son? Oh yeah, my son. The cut off here is Sept. 1. He missed it, so we had to put him in private school. The private school tested him and insisted he start early. He started kindergarten when he was 4. When he got to 3rd grade, he made friends with a new kid. That kid is 1 month younger than him, because there is no cut-off after 1st grade and the new kid came from another state that does start all children at 4 years of age rather than 5. This year he skipped 6th grade and is now in 7th grade. He has always been doing good academically and physically. (Yes, he had kung fu when he was 5.) There really wheren't any social problems, except for a few bullies that didn't like it when he teased them back. (They were cry baby bullies.) 7th grade is a lot better. He's with age group he needs to be with both academically and socially. He still has problems with the preious class (6th grade) bullies due to them being jealous, but the 7th graders are so much more mature and have become friends with him. He does go to 9th grade for geometry, because he's ahead in math and those student get along with him as well. I have no regrets other than not having him skip a grade earlier. I really don't think that 1 year is going to mess up thier childhood, unless they are in with students who aren't at the same maturity level. When that happens, things can be miserable for them and it can lower their self-esteem.

Wow, this is a tough one. I sent my older son to a preschool 2 times a week at age three, because he begged me to go! He would stare into the window as we passed by and ask desperately if he could join them. I think he really was ready, he let me know. He is currently the youngest child in his class, and has trouble putting on his boots, etc. but he is able to spell his name, out loud, writing is coming a little more slowly. Clearly though he is learning at the same rate, he's just waiting for his little body to catch up to his peers, and it will... and he loves it!!!

My younger son is an October baby, and has no interest in joining a school, he loves to socialize, but refuses to enter into a classroom situation. I'm beginning to believe he may enjoy homeschooling with lots of extra group activities.

I was not bargaining for either situation, and trying my best to accommodate. I think this is all you can really do. Trust your kids, they may not be able to give you a clear answer, but their eagerness, attitude and behaviour are HUGE indications of what they want to do!

I am anxious to hear the responses you get. My daughter has a July 18th birthday and I was tempted to hold her back from kindergarten too because I would like her to be more mature and she is struggling right now to write her name in pre-K. I probably will not do it because my spouse is against the idea and our district has a Dec 1st cut-off, which means there will be a lot of kids younger than her and she'd be the oldest BY FAR if I did hold her back. I know my daughter is very verbally bright and I don't want immaturity and developing fine motor skills to hold her back from achieving her potential. However, since she is in Pre-k, she expects to go to kindergarten next year and could be hurt and confused if she doesn't.

I was never big into preschool. Loved having my kids home
and enjoying the craziness that childhoood bring. That
being said, it was a 30 years ago! In todays world a child
that does not have any preschool experience is behind the
8 ball. If it was me, I would keep them out of kindergarten
but definitely enroll them in some sort of preschool
program, if it is affordable. If you cannot afford
preschool send them on to school and if necessary you
can always have them redo K. It will all balance out
in the end. Kids usually end up catching up. Hope this
helps.

My son's birthday is December 9th and the cutoff for Kindergarten is December 31st at age 5. My son did not attend pre-school and he started Kindergarten at age 4 with just a couple of months before he turned 5. Kindergarten was his first time in school and he loved it. He adjusted very well academically and socially. In terms of maturity, my son has always been pretty mature for his age. He did feel like he was always the "baby" in his class the first couple of years, but as he's gotten older it doesn't bother him any longer. He is 11 years old now and in the 6th grade and doing well. I have no regrets. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

My daughter is in kindergarten and her class just got a new student when they returned from the Christmas break. This girl has never been to preschool/daycare and she can't do much of anything. The class is a half day (CT) and the teacher has a very limited amount of time as it is to teach these kids what they need. This girl needs someone w/ her explaining every thing to her, helping her write her name and to even just write forward. The only help the teacher has are mom's who volunteer and they spend the whole time w/ this girl. Honestly, it's not fair to the class and this child will most likely end up repeating kindergarten. Only you know how far along your children are. Have you been working w/ them at home? Can they write their name, know the alphabet, follow simple directions, share and play well with others? I don't think the age is as much a worry as is what they know and how they interact with others. There were 4 kids in my daughter's class who just had a December birthday and turned 5 but they also had been in preschool prior to kindergarten, so they are doing fine. Good luck with your decision.

Hi Mysta,
I'm not a believer in holding back, and if you are saying that you are "keeping" them, and that theyhave not been to preschool, I don't see any benefit. Send them to preschool. I work in an elementary school and we do see the difference in the kindy kids who attended preschool and those who did not. Many of the skills that kindergarten teachers have on their list that gets distributed to preschools, of the skills they need the kids to have mastered are not academic skills, but skills involving independence, and they are more likely to get those skills from preschool than home with mom. If you aren't working toward those skills, having them home longer doesn't pay.

If your children are close to the cutoff, I honestly do not see a benefit of them being significantly older than the other kids. Being the oldest isn't necessarily better than being the youngest, and if your kids have a birthday close to the deadline, you're never going to have my kids, who are both late June birthdays with a December 1 cutoff.

The best person to tell you whether your child really is academically and socially prepared for kindergarten? His preschool teacher. You may question whether the kids are ready and have the skills they need, but the preschool teacher knows. Preschool isn't daycare for working parents, so just because you are a SAHM doesn't mean that your children shouldn't go.

I think the sooner they can start school the better it will be for them to adjust and learn.

My son is now 3 years old and loves preschool. He's improved so much!

I highly recommend it. My 3 are all fall babies. The 1st made the cutoff and we sent him. He struggled socially and academically. $5000 in tutoring later he finally learned to read in 4th grade. He repeated 5th grade when we moved to another town. He is now an honor student in 9th grade and happy he will be driving before his classmates. My 2nd & 3rd missed the cutoff. They were ready to go and mature socially and academically. They love being the "older" students in class. It really will be worth the wait. Good Luck!

My son has a September birthday. I am wondering as well if a Dec 1st cut off should be changed to Sept 1st. At the very least, all kids would begin kindergarten at age 5. My son is 3 now but in one and a half years will begin kindergarten at age 4 though he will turn 5 by the end of the month, others will start turning 6 after Dec 1st. I am not even sure I want to send him to Pre-K. He is my youngest of 4 and I know that Pre-K can be a great experience but is not necessarily a must do. Library programs, play dates, church school, etc are all alternate or additional options. Also, if a boy is held back for an extra year, he will have that extra year of growth not only emotional growth but physical growth. Down the road in middle school and HS he will have the advantage of that extra year of growth.

never been to preschool or daycare? very important aspects of bringing up child esp for social interaction.

I believe most children are starting earlier these days. My daughter is 3 and will be turning 4 this November. She will be starting preschool in September. I think if you are teaching your kids at home that is fine but school is a great place for them to learn to socialize and it opens them up to a world without you which gives them a sense of independence. I think this is very important.
Good luck!!

Dear CS, I think at 6 years old your children will go into first grade. I do not think kindergarten is mandatory. You should let them go to Kg so they have an introduction to school and separation from you before the real work starts. check with the school in your area. Grandma Mary (former Board of Ed. worker)