C.L. asks from Oregon, OH on December 31, 2009
When to Potty Train - Oregon,OH
My son will be 2 in Feb. My husband is so determined to have him potty trained by the age of 2. I would love this, however, I have read that if you force it upon an unwilling child, that it can cause the potty training to be set back even more. We expecting our 2nd in March, and I think that my husband does not want to deal with diapers for both. I want him to be potty trained, but I want it to be successful. When do you think is a good age for potty training? What are some techniques to help him understand?
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K.S. answers from Cincinnati on January 02, 2010
I followed the advice of other mom friends: you can potty train a boy at 2 for 12 months. Or you can potty train a boy at 3 for a week. Either way, they are potty trained by 3, but how much work do you want it to be for both of you?
I have three boys and I only potty "trained" one of them. The other two trained themselves, both before age 3, mostly from watching their brother(s) and their dad.
K.P. answers from Fort Wayne on January 02, 2010
Hello I am not even going to read the other answers but if you push him you will only wear you out and make him aggravated. Seriously, the more you push him the more he will resist. My granddaughter will be 4 and is potty trained now but she used to hide in her walk in closet stoop down and poop. When they are ready they will let you know.
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K.A. answers from Indianapolis on January 02, 2010
My son just turned two and I'm due at the end of February as well. We've had a potty in the bathroom for the two year old for a while now. I figured introducing it earlier wouldn't hurt anything. He goes from time to time but he only thinks about going on his own when he's getting his diaper changed. My goal is to buckle down and be consistent and get him trained after the holidays.
I also have a nine year old boy and he was past three before he was trained. He didn't necessarily fight it, but he figured out he could keep playing and just go in his diaper and then ask for a diaper change when it was convenient for him. But once he decided he was done with diapers it was instant, which was really nice!
If I were you, I would definitely get him a potty and start talking about it and see how he responds to sitting on it and using it. If he's interested, move forward, if not, it's probably not worth the stress on you and him to push the issue. Try it here and there and he will let you know when he is ready.
I have a friend who trained her not quite two year old boy by setting the kitchen timer and taking him to potty every 20 minutes. I think she said it took two or three days and he was done. I'm not sure that he's had any accidents or if she's had any other issues.
Oh, and we definitely reward! We have a jar of M's (M&M's - my son's favorite) in the bathroom for when he is successful. We did go through a phase though where he was asking to go all the time just for M's and would only pee about the size of a dime! We now reward for "big pees" since he's older.
Good luck!!!
K.P. answers from Fort Wayne on January 02, 2010
Hello I am not even going to read the other answers but if you push him you will only wear you out and make him aggravated. Seriously, the more you push him the more he will resist. My granddaughter will be 4 and is potty trained now but she used to hide in her walk in closet stoop down and poop. When they are ready they will let you know.
T.C. answers from South Bend on January 02, 2010
It sounds like you husband is able and willing to help.
That's great as things do go better if you have help. You son is at a good age now to begin to catch on to the 'program' :D
Kids usually don't tell you or volunteer that they have to go because they haven't put it all together yet. That is why they need to be trained through practice. It is much less frustrating for them if they are consistently helped onto the potty at regular interval especially at times when you know they will probably go. At you son's age trying him every 40-50 minutes especially before and after meals will go a long way in showing him what you expect. It's not hard and you shouldn't think he is destined to be unwilling but at times, if he fusses just encourage him all the while being intentional in what you want him to do. One thing I noticed about boys is that once they are on the way to really getting the idea, it is easier for them to stand and go and also more fun for them. Get a little stool for him to stand on and watch so he doesn't fall. Then sit him down and read a story or just have a nice visit. PT changes the way your family operates (in a good way) and you will not miss cleaning up dirty diapers. Enjoy watching you son learn this lesson while he has your consistent help.
T.C. answers from Steubenville on January 03, 2010
Hi C. L...please do not expect him to be potty trained at 2. remember 1 thing, in any childs life of learning, it will all happen, just at different times for different children. Make sure your lil boy even shows interest in using a potty. lil boys often learn later than girls. if you both do want to rush the process, make sure he watches daddy alot, and have him go in with daddy when he goes and try..mommys just can't get that stand up and go thing down. having 2 in diapers is not so difficult, it becomes just another routine, so don't worry there :) oh, i never tried it, but i have heard people say to make a game of it, put a few cherios in the potty for yer lil boy to aim at..just makes it fun. my 3 boys were trained at in this order...
3 1/2-2 1/2-and 3. Night time training comes later, and pooping comes later. GL :) and congrats on #2 :)
J.G. answers from Columbus on January 02, 2010
Similar to your situation, my son just turned two, and I'm expecting my 2nd in March also. I was curious if I should attempt potty training already also. Advice I rec'd from friends is that its easier to wait until summer, when they can just wear a little pair of underwear and shorts...less clothes to clean if they mess, and easier for them to pull up and down. Secondly, I was reading the Supernanny's book, and her advice about it. She suggests to not expect this to happen until a child is 2.5 or 3, and that's okay. My thinking is that I don't want to be frustrated trying to potty train him in my last trimester of pregnancy, and possibly still be dealing with it, and night time messes, etc. while I have a newborn I'm adjusting to again. I think it makes sense to wait, and there is no rush. Sometimes I think people rush it just to say their kid is already potty trained at 2 and people are "wowed" by it. Good Luck.
A.C. answers from Cincinnati on January 01, 2010
I worked in daycare for years, and in my experience, every child is different. Is your child very tractable, willing to do whatever you ask of him or her, and good at understanding why he needs to do or not do things? Then you might be able to get him potty trained as you would like. However, I should add that potty-trained by age two is pretty early. Most children aren't able to control things quite that well by that age. The child has to be able to feel the sensation of having to pee, use the muscles to hold it in, and have enough ability to see into the future to know that he then has to get to a toilet. That's a lot for a little 2-year-old brain to handle! Not that it's never been done, but once again, it is specific to your child.
I have also seen attempts to forcibly potty-train back-fire with independent and strong-willed children who make up their minds that they won't be pushed into do something they don't want to (which can mean it can end up taking longer to potty train that child), or, even worse, who realize that this is, in fact, a form of power over adults and use it to manipulate the situation. I would tell your husband that you'll be happy to work with him on potty training, but that pressuring your child to be completely potty-trained by a certain time is more likely to backfire.
M.S. answers from Columbus on January 01, 2010
I have potty trained three (soon to be 4) kids. I can tell you from my experience, they will do it when THEY are ready. I tried so hard to get my oldest to potty train before my third was born, cuz I didn't want 3 in diapers! After months of trying everything I heard of, I gave up. He ended up doing it on his own before the baby was born. That being said, you can start to encourage your son to use the potty without it being an "issue". Get him his own potty chair, ask him if he needs to go, then take him to it so he connects the words "potty", "pee", whatever you use. You can put cheerios or fruit loops in the toilet to show him how to "aim" for them. These are just some suggestions of the things I tried over the years. It will be a trial and error process. Some kids like their very own potty and some kids like to go in the big potty. My daughter was older than both boys before she was out of diapers. She was 3 1/2. I ended up rewarding her with a trip to Build-A-Bear. But, like I said, if it were up to me, she would have been trained closer to age 3. She wasn't ready and it didn't happen under my terms, but hers. Now, there will be people who say it can be done and can attest to a training regimen. If you are really determined to get him there, it's worth a try, I guess. It's just that taking a toddler to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes is quite a committment and won't guarantee success - yeah, I tried that, too. Having a child trained by the age of 2 is a little early in my opinion. I read or heard somewhere that unless a child can pedal a trike/3 wheeler, etc. they are not ready to potty train. The muscles used to pedal are the same ones used to "hold" pee. If they aren't developed, the child cannot be expected to be able to hold it. Another thing to think about, is that if your son is out of diapers, that opens up a whole new challenge. If you are out and about with both kids and he has to go, he has to go NOW. You will have to plan ahead and know where the bathrooms are and be able to get to them quickly. That's not such a big deal if it's just you and him, but toting a new baby presents a bigger challenge. Not that that, alone, is a reason to postpone the potty training, but just something to think about.
Congratulations on your new addition and good luck with whatever you decide!
M.B. answers from Dayton on January 02, 2010
Around 2 is about right. Try it and see - if it works, great; if not, back off for a while. I don't think you need to wait until they are waking up dry; my kids did that after getting daytime training down. Take off his underwear, put a little potty where he is, and see what happens. I think a lot depends on the child's personality. Some will fight, some want to be independent, some want to please. You'll see which you have once you get started - good luck!
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