When to Let Your 8 Yr S Old Go Out?

I'd probably get to know the dad & kid a little better--then let him go.

My son's O. friends' dad often takes his son & my son places. He's also 8 and they have been for quite awhile.

On a side note: I have been amazed at the parents we DON'T know who allow us to pick up their kid, take him somewhere, & bring him back without knowing us hardly at all! We often will invite a buddy along, since my son is an only and some activities just scream :NEED A BUDDY! LOL

I suggest that you get to know the family better before letting him go out. I'd just be open with the father and say that you need to know them better first. Then have a chat. Ask where they moved from. Ask about his job. Ask about his discipline philosophy, etc. Also ask him about his car insurance. It's even fair to ask to see his driver's license. Share information about yourself, too. Make the conversation casual.

I've done this with the parents of my daughter's friends, years back and she was embarrassed but the parents didn't seem to mind. I think they recognize that you have legitimate concerns and in the process they get to know you better and will feel more comfortable allowing their children to be with you.

I've often abbreviated the conversation if I've spent time around the parents and feel comfortable with them, but I still ask a few questions. Over the years I've learned that I can trust my instincts.

Invite the dad and kid over for a meal to get to know him. That way you can feel better about having your son play at his house or take him someplace. Also not a bad idea to have his son over to play at your house so you can see what kind of kid he is and how they get along.

Let him go :-) Kids need neighborhood friends, and if you feel comfortable around the dad, let your kid go and have a fun time!

I agree with the moms who say that it's a good idea to get a feel for the dad/family first. Since they're new neighbors, why don't you invite the family over for a casual dinner -- or a desert with coffee? If they had lived on your street forever and you knew them well, that's a different story. But like you, I'm protective of my daughter. We're just embarking on play dates with my daughter's first grade friends and at this point, the moms have been present on the play dates until we all know one another better.

I don't know, I guess I'm old-fashioned but I would have let my son go. But what do I know? I still think kids should play outside (without parental supervision). I don't personally feel like you'll know any more about him after having a meal with him. Let's face it, the only thing we know about people is what they want us to know. I bet that coach jerk who molested all those boys had dinner with a lot of parents!

Another thing you could have done is say - Yes, let's all go to a ballgame. I will reimburse you for the tickets for my family. Then, you all get to have a good/fun afternoon together.

-L.

I guess I'm a helicopter parent because I think 8 is too young to go! I would say closer to ten. If this was a good friend sure, but someone you don't know well, it's a risk. I wouldn't take a chance even if they are neighbors. Better to be safe then sorry. Always go with your first instinct..Always!

Let him out of the anemone, Marlin.

So... I'll probably post a question of my own in relation to this a bit later, but what did your son do for friends before this neighbor?

Personally, I might be a little uncomfortable letting him go to a game without them spending more time together first. I would think they need to just hang out as kids doing the things kids do.

Feels a little like the dad is trying to "buy" his son friends.

I think its perfectly normal to want to get to know the parents. I agree with alot of the responses that said "how much are you really going to get to know these neighbors after a couple of meals" Well I think u can get to know quite a bit. You can ask them questions about how they feel about things, or how they are at discipling, or what they allow their kids to do and not do. It will give you a better sense of whether u think they will be good examples for your son, or be bad influences. There's alot more to this than just worrying about kidnapping and molesting. I wouldn't want my child to be around a parent if they let their 8yr olds listen to gangster rap, or watch r-rated movies, or wear inappropriate clothes etc...so those things you can get to know better after visitng for a while. I think once you know them better you will not have to ask what other people think you will know for yourself the correct choice. Your asking becuz you are not comfortable with it. So I think that means you made the right decision. So try to make an effort to get to know them, because there is nothing like having a neighbor for a friend for your child. Makes it easier for them to get together and play! Maybe you could invite them over for dinner or bbq and all hang out. The parents would prob. love some adult company if they are new to town!

I would not have let him go either until I knew the parents better.....simple things like drinking and driving.......unfortunately as I learned it does not prevent predators but it does slow down behaviors that are not ok in your family...8 is still a little guy....I think you are right and a great parent!