When to Have "The" Talk?? - Mount Holly,NJ

Just a caution - any books that you use with her, you should read thoroughly first. I don't remember about that one specifically, but some "growing up" books have WAY more information in them than is appropriate, especially for younger girls.

I would like to recommend a wonderful one by a Christian family publisher that addresses the subject as part of "God's plan for growing up"; actually they have a series of them (some for boys and others for girls) and you can check them out at this link:

http://www.queenhomeschool.com/productpages/godsplanforgr...

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi L.,

I have 3 sons, my oldest is 11, in fifth grade. I was shocked when he came home from school last year in fourth grade telling me the things he learned in Health class and the "real terminology" they used - oh my goodness! I was not ready for it. I talked to a friend at my church who teaches Health at his school to see if this was normal and he said that schools will begin this around age 9-11 (grades 4-5). My friends with girls were shocked last year too at what they're girls learned. I would agree with another mom who said check with your school as to when they will start the talk. Also, you may just want to get a good book (I have none to recommend, sorry) and start to discuss things with her. You know your daughter, will she handle it well if she is introduced to it at school or should you prepare her? Use your mom instincts. At least I can now prepare my second son since I know he'll be learning it in fourth grade. I'm not looking forward to 8th grade though, at my son's school they put a condom on a banana. Yikes! This is normal too, I heard other school do this also. Good luck in whatever you decide.

Hi L.,

I would definitely say that 9 (or even a little younger, if needed) is a good age to start talking about it. Make sure to keep it age appropriate.

I have an 8 year old son and have already had to have "the talk" with him because all the boys in his class were talking about it and I found out about it. I preferred he heard the truth about it from me instead of what his friends ideas of it was.

Every year it seems like it is having to be told to the kids younger and younger. I wish they could just be kids and not have to worry about all that so early.

Good luck!!! :)
L.

L.,

I just went thru this with my 8yo a few weeks ago. She is developing so I thought I should give her some info. I bought a book called "The Care & Keeping of YOU, the body book for girls" by American Girl. It's a good book I think. I read it first and then went thru it with my daughter and gave it to her. This way I know what is in it and if she has questions and wants to reference the book that's ok. I also said that if she has any questions ask me because I had to go thru the same thing at her age and I could help her out.

Good Luck.

Hi L.,

Are you taking time to talk to her everyday about her feeling?

Is she sharing with you the little conflicts that she and her friends have on occasions?

This is were you start. Guiding her is one thing but telling her things is another.

When things happened to me as a child, my mother said, "Don't tell anyone!"

She never listen to anything I had to share as a child.

Listen, Listen, Listen. Then share your experiences in simple terms when you were her age.

Good luck. All the Best. D.

Hi L.,
I think you have to be tuned in to your daughter and her comfort level. How much information can she handle and how much are you willing to share with her. She is at the age when her body could start to develop and you certainly want her to have the "right" information and not have her rely on what her friends at school may tell her. I had the talk with my oldest daughter, who is now 16, when she was 6. She overheard a comment by some kid in her first grade class and she naturally came home and asked me what the comment meant. After my heart returned to my chest from my shoes I answered her question as confidently as I could. I am so happy I did. Since then she has been able to talk to me about other issues relating to body change, body image, boys etc. Hope this helps. By the way, I have a 15 yo daughter as well. My poor husband. :)

L.,
I would find out from school when they will be having the talk with the girls. My daughter got it last year in the fourth grade toward the end of the year. We also read the same book before she went to the meeting at school. I felt better that she had the knowledge and could talk to me about any concerns she had. That worked well for us because she did have questions that I know she would never asked at school. I hope this helps. Good luck.
L. R