Just curious as to what age most moms out there are having the period and sex talk with your daughters. Mine is 8 years old, and is becoming more curious as to what tampons are and why only girls buy them, etc... My daughter is a DRAMA QUEEN, so I can forsee that her reaction, if told to early, would be one of complete despair. I was closer to age 10 before my my told me all about it, so I'm wondering if that's the norm. I don't want to overload her too much, but these things are learned so much earlier these days from school/friends/tv, etc... I want it coming from ME, not somewhere else. Thanks mamas!
Just FYI - we've had "discussions" based on age appropriateness about tampons/periods/how babies are made since she was little. I'm not afraid of the subject at all. I just was wondering at what age did ALL of the details emerge? My daughter is very sensitive, drama filled, and a little immature for her age, therefore I've had to be careful in sharing too many details too soon. She would be the type (and has been over other things) that too much info keeps her up at night with worry. I think she'd be A-ok with the sex part, it's the period and her mind thinking she will bleed for the rest of her life!
I just had a talk with my girls a few weeks ago. They are ages 7 & 9. I bought the American Girl book 'The care and keeping of you' and I just went through the book with them. I then pulled out a liner, pad & tampon and explained the difference and let them explore them. I will save the sex talk for another day.
I think it's never too early for you to prepare your daughter about the "joys" of being a woman. I have no idea if there is any scientific research about it but, girls seem to start developing earlier that in the past. My grandma didn't start hers till 13, my mom and her 3 sisters 12, me and my sisters 10. I've talked to lots of girlfriends and the majority of all of us started at least a year before their moms did. Don't let her be unprepared, it could be pretty scary for a 8, 9, 10 year old little girl to look down and see red. Or worse if she isn't at home and it's starts in school. Now a days I don't think any of us can say "their too young to hear about this". Because the media doesn't think their too young, the chicks who are supposed to be role models are wearing next to nothing on tv they don't think their too young, their friends definitely don't think their too young. It is what it is, just the way things are you can't fight against the current sometimes you have to adjust and go with the flow.
What the hell was the question. Guess I woke up on the "have a tirade" side of the bed this morning. Oh good morning world!
Hey good luck! Just remember all kids are full of the wrong information, it's our job to make sure they have the right stuff floating around in there.
When? Years ago. But it's not too late to start now.
It shouldn't be the "talk" but rather an ongoing conversation about anything you can think about related to sex/physical changes/hormones/boys/morals.... etc.
A good time to start talking is in the car, when you are both looking straight ahead and don't have to look at each other. That is, if you're uncomfortable.
There are good books on the subject. One of my favorites is called "I want to talk to my teen about love, sex and dating," by Dr. Karl Wendt. You can get it on Amazon I think. Not sure if it's in stores. Great resource to have when you chat.
My daughter is 8 and we have already had the talk. She asked questions so i answered them. My son was 6 when we had the talk because he was asking questions. If she is interested tell her.
Hi mommy!
I agree...it should be 'ongoing' from the moment they notice the difference between boys and girls...age (and name IMO) appropriate of course...
BUT...as the mom of 'many'...all older (14 twin girls to 22)...IF you are open...and make these topics not 'taboo'...MANY interesting dinner conversations WILL emerge!!
And yes...I still insist on 'family' dinner as often as I can...and when the 'olders' are home, it is too much fun!!
Best luck!
michele/cat
We started when my now 16 yr old was a toddler with age appropriate answer to her questions.
I keep the lines of communication open so she would hopefully come to me for info and she has so far.
Girls start talking at school pretty early.
I think now would be a good time to talk about tampons, and menstruation, you can seperate it from sex, but a lot of girls start at around 9 or 10.
I have an 8 year old, boy, he sees tampons and blood in the toilet and was freaked out - so I just explained that my womb lining builds up and every month, if there is no baby to grow, it comes out. He is satisfied with that!
As a mom of a teen (16) who just informed me that she and her boyfriend are "serious," I definitely say the sooner the better. Establish a dialogue as soon as you can to build a trust between you and your daughter and please let her know that it is okay for her to come to you any time with any questions that she has about boys, dating or sex. Hopefully, with your influence, she'll make better decisions in the long run. I speak from recent experience as my ex and I just found out from my daughter's doctor that she is active--her dad and I had no clue! We thought we brought her up better and educated her properly, but she has too many outside influences dictating her judgment, apparently. So, it's important to establish some dialogue and trust, the sooner the better.
Just my opinion.
I completely understand what you are saying as I am also raising a drama queen. I had the "full disclosure" talk with my daughter around 8 and it really upset her. For months anytime anything remimded her of menstruation she would start crying and saying "why does that have to happen to me? Why did you tell me that?" I just kept bringing up the subject and reinforcing that it was normal and not scary. Now she is 12 and actually started her period recently. I am glad I told her when I did when the time came she was totally comfortable with the subject and even laughs at how dramatic she was.
I haven't gotten to this stage yet with my kids, but I think that when they start asking questions and are curious you have the talk. The "talk" however, my evolve as your kids grow. For instance, at age 8 if she is curious about tampons, then tell her what they are used for...but maybe not tell her EVERYTHING. I agree with both Markasa C and Bobbi that the talk should be sooner than later and also on-going. That is what I plan on doing...My mom never gave me the talk and just assumed I would learn from my sisters or school. I learned how to use a tampon from a camp counselor. please don't let your daughter go thru that.
My mom asked her dr. what some of the signs were to know I was about ready to start my period (mainly look at her physical development and weight). As it turned out, he said I could at any time (I was 9). I wound up starting right after I turned 10. A lot of kids seem to be starting earlier than that now. Depending on her development I would go ahead and tell her. Just stress how normal and healthy it is to have a period. Hope this helps. :)
I think ten is a good age, or age appropriate as they start asking. My son is 12 and we just had it which was way to late, since kids were already talking at school. And with the ease of pornography, especially with boys, we were late in the game, since boys had been bragging about it already. Geesh, some kids have WAY to much freedom, and this is coming from a mom who is always complaining about hellicopter parents.
I do agree with not giving her too much info too early for her to lie awake and worry about. Actually my mom gave me the barest minimum and I am thankful in that way because I might have worried as well. In fact now I laugh about it because all she told me was "one day if you go to the bathroom and notice something out of the ordinary don't freak out just come and tell me about it because it's going to be alright." And funny enough I was good with that. So the day of my 13th birthday (nice right?) I saw blood and remembered her saying that it was going to be alright. I went to her and she said it was my period blah, blah, blah. Well at the end of the week after "intense suffering for the sake of womanhood" she said "let's go to the store and buy some pads and stuff for the next time so we can be prepared..." I said "NEXT TIME???!!" That's when I was devastated. Obviously, she hadn't explained ENOUGH! But I guess it's devastating news however and whenever you get it! I kind of take my lead for when my daughter's ready with what I saw my friend do. She sort of let her daughters lead her as to when they were ready for what information. I do agree things are talked about earlier now and you do want it coming from you. I think they were around 9 or 10 when they started really asking some questions. And this was just this last couple of years. I do wish you and your daughter all the best!
