When to Go Back to Work?

Updated on February 10, 2008
W.G. asks from San Diego, CA
9 answers

I've finished school in May, with my teaching credential. I delivered my twin daughters on May 27th, 2006. My boyfriend works to support us, and we are managing, but I feel so guilty about being a stay at home mom because I've worked since I was 16. I feel that I need to stay home while I'm still breastfeeding My twins, who were a bit premature, because the breastmilk will do them some good. But then again I feel that the twins are very strong now (8 mo. old), eating baby food and fruit juice. Will having less breastmilk and spending several hours away from them right now be too soon?

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H.C.

answers from Portland on

Hi Ann,

I just recently became a stay at home mom. I am 30 and have worked since I was 16 as well. I missed so much of my girls lives I wish I could have stayed home sooner. At first I was really having a hard time adjusting. I felt guilty I wasn't contributing to the household. I looked into working from home so now that's what I do. I don't feel guilty anymore because I am contributing. If you would like to chat give me a call ###-###-#### I would live adult conversation.

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

In my opinion you should wait until your twins are in kindergarten. I'm a single, work from home mom. My son is 3 years old and I have managed to support both of us on my own, from home, since he was born. I sell clothing on Ebay for a living. I work 2-3 hours a day, which is very flexible. Children need a parent, not a daycare provider. You're the best thing for your babies, hands-down. I went out of my way to raise my own son and he's a great kid because of it. It's important and it works. :)

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T.M.

answers from Portland on

OMG... Enjoy being at home with your little ones... Each day is so amazing and I know I would never want to miss a day. However, if you are bored and or your family needs more $$$, then maybe a part time job would work... BUT, I would encourage for you to stay at home where the heart is... Don't feel guilty. No one should make you feel that way. You are doing the best thing for you and your family. :)))

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M.G.

answers from San Francisco on

When I was pregnant everyone told me that I wouldn't want to go back to work. I always said I would because we couldn't afford it and I was a workaholic. Boy were they right! 3 months after his birth, I went back to work. I didn't want to be there. I decided to fulfill the FMLA law, and then quit.
My husband was very supportive and actually wanted me to stay home to care for our son. Unfortunately he is working 2 jobs in order for me to raise our son. So that's why I also work from home. I figure I can get another job anytime, but I can never get back my son's first couple of years. So if you can afford living on one income, as hard as it is, I would stay home.
Yes, money will be tight. But you'll realize that it will be all worth it.

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D.N.

answers from Medford on

You shouldn't feel guilty about staying home with your babies. Mothering is a very important job and one to be proud of. I used to teach full-time, I love teaching, and plan to stay involved with it by substituting and tutoring, but I don't know if I'll ever go back full-time because being there for my son is more important to me. I also work from home to help with the bills. If you can manage on your boyfriend's income then stay home if you can. Yes, it is better to have one parent at home with children rather than daycare. On the other hand going back to work if you have to won't damage them, lots of moms do it. For me though, everytime I even thought of going back to work, I got jealous feelings toward my mother-in-law (who would be watching him) because I didn't want anyone but me (or hubby) to see my son's "firsts." Also you do have options in working from home. I could tell you about them if you're interested. Let me know and I hope this helps.

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B.A.

answers from San Francisco on

oie I just wrote you this long detailed message, and hit backspace one too many times and it erased everything! So this is going to have to be a little shorter, but email me back if you have any questions!!

My story,
I was still in school when I had my daughter, so I took one semester off, then went back full time. This was okay because she was 5 months old and I had a sitter come to my home and watch her for less than 4 hours a day, 3 days a week. Then when she turned 1 I put her in day care for about the same amount of time. I was okay with this because it was good socialization skills and it helped her be okay with me leaving her. However, she was ALWAYS sick!!! Everytime I would get her better and send her back, a couple days later she would develop something new. It was AWFUL! I graduated a year later and took her out of day care and she has not been sick once sine then! (and its been almost a year).

I woudl say that when to go back to work is really up to you and your twins. They should be able to go several hours without nursing so you should be able to go to work and they will be okay.

One thing to keep in mind, which I am sort of struggling with now. Teaching is a serious commitment. You can't just take a day off. Even though you have your degree, you might want to think about doing something with a little less responsiblity. maybe somewhere that you frequent regularly, like a childrenst store at the mall, your fav store at the mall, picture studio. That way you get more income, but the schedule is flexible so that you can stay home and take care of a sick one if you have to. I am not sure where you live or what your situation is, but here where we live, daycare for one child is about 800 a month (for an average school). To me that is a lot of money, and to go to work to pay all that for someone to watch your kids all day doesn't seem worth it. Know what I mean?

I work for child and family services (social work) and I work one or 2 nights a week (4 hours) and then am on call one weekend a month. I can make what most people make in two weeks, during that one weekend. It works out really great this way. Something like that might work for you. Or working at a day care, you can get a little income, a discount for your twins if they attend taht school, and if you have to stop to nurse them you are right there.

I get both worlds. I will be starting teaching as well in the fall, but only part time. My daughter will be in preschool, which she is ready for and needs... So I still get time off when she does and I don't have to put her in daycare all day.

Hopefully this helps!

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G.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Wonisha,

How are you? Don't feel guilty about staying home with your babies. It is great that you are able to do that.

I have two kids and I didn't have much choice but to return to work after they were 2 mths old. This past year and a half. I didn't to quit my job. I am able to spend more time with my kids, participate in school activites and sports.

In addition, I have started my own home based business. I have been able to spend time with my family and have been able to contribute to the household expenses.

If you would like more information about my home based business. Please feel free to e-mail me at ____@____.com a Great day.

G. Martinez

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C.D.

answers from Seattle on

Hi Wonisha,

First I wanted to say that I think you are doing the right thing by reaching out to other women and asking for suggestions on your situation. I know when I came across that cross road of when to go back to work I didnt have anyone to give me advice. Just know that if want to be a stay at home mom that is most important and beneficial thing you could do! I know for me my husband got laid off from his job after we had had our first child, and of course in the natural there was no way we could live off of unemployment. But I told him I would go back to work and he said No, because he knew that my heart was to be at home with my child. So we prayed, because we are christians and asked the Lord to provide. And I am not joking but 1 week later after praying he got a great job offer and I was able to stay home. So what I am saying is God knows your heart and if its to go back to work or stay at home he will make a way.
I have been at home with my daughter going on 3 years now, but I have found and AWESOME work from home business that I truely love! I have been doing it for about a year, and I am now bringing home $4000.00 a month! So there are options out there, if you would like for me to share a little more about what I do email me and we can chat.

God bless!

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A.T.

answers from Portland on

Hello

You can start right now, part-time, from the computer you are currently using! It's that easy. You can create a long-term recurring income that continues for a lifetime.

Do you want to start your own home-based business and make more money? Remember, you won't be on your own. My Stayin Home and Lovin It! colleagues and I will help and support you every step of the way!

Check out my website on our Home-Based Business, then give me a call. You'll be very glad you did.

Click here: http://alyssatierney.stayinhomeandlovinit.com/ After you have reviewed the information website, contact me with any questions you have. I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Sincerely,

A. Tierney

Stayin Home and Lovin It! You can too!
503 - 840 - 9690
____@____.com

http://alyssatierney.stayinhomeandlovinit.com

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