When to Eat the Cake...

Hello, I am a mother of two and my son had his 4th birthday party last summer. I think that anytime you say cake, the kids are going to go crazy. I would suggest doing the cake towards the beginning of the party only because of the time of day that you're having it. You should not feel like you need to feed them dinner too. So if you did the cake at around 3:30 or 4:00, then they would be fine until the party is over, and you wouldn't be completely spoiling their appetites for dinner when they get home. I also wouldn't worry about doing other snacks unless you really want to. Parents know that when they send their child to a party, they are going to get cake and icecream and that's all, unless you specified a meal on the invite. Don't go to overboard with all the planning a food, I have really found out that simplicity works the very best when planning a little child's party. Good Luck and Have fun.
J. B

Hi Iris
I don't think there is a right or wrong way. what ever you feel you want to do. i used to worry over this as well. but i don't think it matters any to the kids or even the parents.
when our kids birthdays are on a weekday..like my sons was yesterday, we have the actual party on the weekend closest. so his party with cake and presents is this sunday.
i like the pirate theme! and the other posts suggestions.
sorry if i'm not much help,, i just wanted to ease your stress a little by letting you know there's no right or wrong way and the kids will have fun no matter what is done first :-)))

Hi Iris,

If you serve the cake to start the party, I don't think you would interfere with everyone's dinner. Plus what a way to start a party! I love it! I would then do the games and the activities and save the presents for last. This way the presents don't get attention during the activities. I don't think you would have to offer snacks for the parents maybe just something to drink (i.e. soda, water etc) Are you giving party favors? If so, you could include a small snack in them (maybe some trail mix called pirates energy loot - ha or some other fun name) I hope this helps. Have a fun party. L.

There is no right or wrong way. I do think, like someone said 3 hours is long. I would do 1 1/2 hours and just serve a snack and cake. If you do go 3-6, dinner should be provided. Don't stress make it simple pizza or hot dogs are always simple ans both kids and adults can eat it. I wouldn't have two meals--too much work.

Have fun, and let us know how it goes!

Serve make-your-own sandwiches and then cake and then open the presents! The children won't mind anything after the presents anyhow.

Kids that young really don't care when you have it. I just had a b-day party for my 5 yr old. I had the cupcakes sitting on the counter. All the kids were so excited to eat that they begged me until I finally said ok. Then we opened gifts, then they wanted another cupcake. So most kids will just lick off the frosting and be done. Oh, don't mop your floor before they come, you'll end up doing it again after they leave!!!
B.

My opinion is, that the party is spanning my dinner hour, So, I would provide pizza or something, at like 4:30 that gives time to sit down, and we always open presents about the time everyone is eating, then cake and out the door. Have you thought about doing a cookie rather than a cake?? That would really be less intrusive on dinner appetites if you don't plan on serving dinner. Good luck and have fun- remember, the kids don't care what order we go in- my 7 yr old son says cake first AND last!

I am of a different feeling when parties are done on a week day, I think a "food" should be served, nothing fancy, sub type sandwichs, chips those kinds of thing. It would be really difficult for parents to have to go home and then cook dinner, some people eat earlier and it might throw oft there night schedule's. Keep it buffet, and have it sitting out when they walk in, since you have a 3 hour span break it up into hours with activities between "events", cake, presents ect, this will also help keep boredom from setting in with the kids. I have 7 kids and there was a time I went all out especially with the older ones, I have learned to cut it back a little and plan it a little better, Of course my teens don't want parties know but I still have three little ones, and enjoy it, there really isn't a right or wrong way, I like to have food available because people get hungry, and if you do it during "food" hours then I know they appricaite not having to tell thier hungry child that they are going to have to wait. Just a thought. I have a sweet 16 to through this year, although she doesn't want it....to bad for her LOL. Know that is scary!

I'm a mother of 5, Grammy of almost 10.
I like to serve wholegrain waffles or pancakes. The children can use cookie cutters on the pancakes and sprinkle them with snow (powdered sugar.) I would do this right before serving the cake. Good for you planning fun activities for the children. Have you seen the directions for a great cardboard pirate ship at www.mrmcgroovys.com ?

If the children are coming from home (not school or preschool) then they should not be hungry right off. I prefer to eat the cake last and have presents since this is the main focus of any birthday party. If the presents are opened too early then the children will want to play with the toys and not cooperate with what you have planned.
It is iffy if you want to serve dinner. It depends on your money situation and your wishes. The party is during the beginning of the dinner hour so you could go either way of serving a meal or not. If you don't serve a meal you may want to serve healthy food snacks at the beginning of the party and then the cake at the end. If you serve dinner then you could make dinner as part of your planned games/activities. I have done it both ways and it is all preference for you. Nothing is expected by the culture but DO announce on the invitations if you are having dinner or treats. That way the parents will know how to prepare their child for the party.
As for parents, I never invite them unless they are coming from a far distance or they are family/close friends and I need their help. Otherwise, I don't want to worry about entertaining parents, I have enough to do to keep the children under control. I like to send home party favor gifts as a thank you with the children but here in America, I think you get to make the rules of how you want to do the party, dinner, and favors. Do what you want and are comfortable with.
Have fun, M.

PS- I am a stay at home mom with seven children. My oldest is 28 and my youngest is eight. I have had plenty experience with birthday parties. :)

If you have time to change it, I'd make the party just two hours then you wouldn't have to worry about the possible dinner time. Eat cake at 4:15 (afternoon snack), open presents and then everyone can go home - and make their own dinner!

S.

Personaly I would make the party no longer than an hour and half, with just cake and some munchies. 3 hours seems WAY to long.

I would limit the party to two hours, and the number of guests to the number the child is including themselves. Feeding them first might be a good idea, and dinner might also be an option since your partytime is during the dinner hour. Or have games play til 5 then feed them and do presents at the end when they are tired and ready to go home.

If parents are anticipated to stay during the party then you need to offer them refreshments too. Your invitation, or RSVPs should have some indication if the parent/s are to stay or go. Be sure to have at least two adults present, and maybe couple of teenagers to help with activities and crowd control.

Hi Iris -- I think I would have gift opening followed by games with supper -- maybe string cheese and veggies with peanut butter (finger food -- easy for young kids) and then the CAKE and ice cream. By then it should be close to six and time to get them ready to go home. They will have had some nourishing food as well as the cake so it won't be crucial for their parents to fix them a whole meal if they're still hungry when they get home.

Incidentally, a great entertainment for a pirate party would be a treasure hunt to find a "trunk" filled with individually wrapped goodies for each child -- maybe a couple of gold-wrapped chocolate coins and one or two other inexpensive treasures!

Last year for my son's second birthday party I did everything in the reverse. The party started at 3:00 and I served cupcakes and we sang 'happy birthday' and blew out the candles as soon as all the kids were there. I thought that because it was later in the afternoon -- sugaring the kids up at the beginning of the party was better than sending them home tired from the party's activities AND on a sugar high. After the cake and candles the kids and parents took off to the activities I had planned (beach theme -- sand box games, mini volleyball, croquet, running thru the sprinklers, etc). I then served a light buffet dinner and we opened gifts while everyone had a beach blanket picnic. The party ended at 7 pm (though it was supposed to end at 6:00 -- nobody wanted to leave which made me feel like the party was a success) with the children fed and ready to go home have a bath and relax.

Concerning snacks for the adults -- I served noshes and cocktails for the adults along with the cake at the begininning of the party. Cheese and fruit plate, steamed asparagus wrapped with prosciutto, white bean bruschetta and a party themed cocktail along with wine and beer (I served Margharita pizza's and salad for dinner). I know that I have gone home from other children's parties and been hungry and a little cranky from being fed nothing but cake and 'kid' snacks. And my son's little friends actually loved the 'bean totes' (the bruschetts, lol).

Anyway -- our friends all appreciated having things done backward like that. My other mom friends said that they were able to get their kids into bed soon after arriving home and spend a little 'couch' time uninterrupted.

Good luck! Hope all goes well!