A.W. asks from Bushland, TX on May 21, 2009
When Should I Talk to My Daughter About Sex?
Hi ladies! I have a question about the birds and the bees. My six year old daughter has been asking all sorts of questions about where babies come from. We have a 2 year old and a 7 month old, so she has been around this stuff for awhile. When I was about to have our baby, she was asking all about how the baby gets out of mommy's tummy. I explained to her then that mommy would "push the baby out my bottom". Oh my goodness, how embarrassing! But, that's what I said! Well, my husband got a vasectomy 3 months ago. Of course, he spent the weekend laying on the couch with an ice pack over his "private bottom". So, my daughter asked him why he was doing that and he told her that he had a little surgery so that mommy and daddy wouldn't have any more babies. She was like, what?? Mommy has the babies, not you!
Oh brother! This is so tricky! And the advice on when to have the "talk" is all over the place. So I'm asking for some direction. When did you do it? Thanks!
L.M. answers from Dallas on May 21, 2009
I think you should start having age-appropriate conversations with your child as early as 3. I have a great series of books that are written for different ages and they explain everything. "Why Boys and Girls are Different": Learning about Sex, a series for the Christian Family by Carol Greene. I hope everything goes well!
1 mom found this helpful
C.S. answers from Dallas on May 22, 2009
How cute! Honesty is always the best medicine but...only as much as she can handle.
When I was little, medical pics of a woman pregnant fascinated me. The rest of it I didn't need to know until closer to puberty. She sounds a bit confused by too much info.
Pictures of baby in momma's belly comparative to vegetable sizes.
Its not about the HOW but the WHAT at this stage. Let science do the talking and how fascinating - her mind will absorb it like a sponge and who knows - this might be the beginning of a passion about babies in the medical field!
Have fun! C.
K.N. answers from Dallas on May 21, 2009
This can be tricky but at 6 they understand that men and women are different. my 3 year old asks questions sometimes but I just things like it takes a mommy and a daddy to make the baby that grows in mommy's tummy. and then when the baby gets big enough, you go to the hospital and the dr helps you get the babby out of the tummy. I think birth canal and uterine contractions might be much for her!
C.T. answers from Dallas on May 21, 2009
Answer her questions, but don't give anything extra unless she asks. Use proper names for all body parts. Babies don't grow in our tummy, they grow in the uterus or womb. Good luck and thank God your daughter feels comfortable enough to ask you these questions. Good luck!
P.G. answers from Dallas on May 21, 2009
I know there are books out there to help talk about it in an age appropriate way. Just be honest and direct. You don't have to give all the gory details, but use proper terms, cause it's less confusing and potentially less scary if they get confused.
K.F. answers from Dallas on May 21, 2009
I don't normally watch Oprah, but had a friend tell me about a show she did about talking to kids about sex. I went to oprah.com and found all the information online. You have to hunt for it, but there are several things you can print out that are age appropriate starting at age three. My son is nine so I know I'm a little late, but if we don't tell them they will hear about it somewhere else. YOur daughter sounds pretty smart so she will probably take it well. The printouts give you tons of advice!
C.W. answers from Dallas on May 21, 2009
I started talking to my kids about sex at a pretty young age - probably 7 or 8. I went to Mardell's and they have a great section of books. They are age appropriate and start with age 5. I used them to talk to my daughter and it awas very helpful. We read a little each night. They are honest, age appropriate, and give the Christian Perspective on sex. When your kids turn 12 - there is a study by Family Life called Passport to Purity (they don't recommend for kids under 12). It's a weekend retreat in depth study. I'm taking her to Great Wolf Lodge and doing that with her this summer. My husband took our son on a fishing get away. There's also a Christian Retreat lead by Rebecca St. James that is for girls 12 and over called Revolve - it talks about modesty, purity, and self esteem issues. I can't wait to do that with her! There are lots of great tools out there! I think it's great you are being proactive. Kids talk - alot! My kids know they can always come to me for the right answers. NOw my son is 16 and has a serious girlfriend, and knowing that we talked about God's plan for sex and marriage, knowing his girlfriend like I do - and her committment to stay pure until marriage makes it easy. They understand the limits we put on them and that it's not to spoil their fun, but to help them remain true to themselves.