26 answers

When Is Too Late, Too Late?

I will be turning 42 this year. My whole life I have always worried about not being able to have children, and yet relationship, career, business has always seem to get in the way of having a child. I am finally feeling settled in my marriage with a loving and supportive husband, however, I have had a lot of health issues due to years of stressful struggles. I felt I need some time to get my body back to shape. How late will it be too late? My mother was still having her period while she was in her late 50s. So, would genetic matters?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I was finally able to talk with my husband about my needs. Although he really do not like the idea, he has now stop against it. I have never been overweight or anything, just in general feel weak, and not at my best. The past year we traveled more, stopped all the stress inducing activities from work and business. I get to stay home and work through many issues that bothered me. Now, I am in better emotional condition, much calmer and less agitated and anxious. I can also predict my own period now, as the acupuncture treatment was very helpful. I think the next step is to talk with hubby again, as our relationship is deepening as well. So, all seems good. Currently doing another whole body detox, and put myself in the best shape.

And the latest updates!!!!!

I got pregnant the first time we DID it. It was still a surprise. We accepted what it comes. All genetic testing was normal. Last year at the end of September, I had my son Todd with c- section. He is a healthy and happy little baby, smile a lot and giggles a lot! Amazingly, he comes with a full head of beautiful hair. And he kept growing even though my friends tells me that after 3 minus they fall off....lol

Todd is turning one soon! I am breast feeding and loved every minute when I am with him!

I did not use any fertility services. I was going through acupuncture for thyroid issues. And after I got pregnant, I continued acupincture and was fortunate enough not having vomiting issues at all and kept skiing 4 month into the pregnancy. I do notice now that Todd is getting to be a little toddler, he takes a lot of energy....but, I am loving it.

Oh, hubby got a job with amazon. So we moved to the Silicon Valleylast year. Bought a house when the market was crazy, and now waiting for all the fruits and vegetables to mature in the back yard! Life is good!

Featured Answers

You can't count on genetics. Most people I know are starting menopausal symptoms in their 40's, And you know that eggs get old.

You are verging on too late right now. And it's not true that it's "never too late." Only a young person would say that. If you really want kids, you'd better get on it right away.

3 moms found this helpful

Given the increased difficulty in conceiving after 40, plus the increased risk of genetic abnormalities, would you consider adopting instead?

More Answers

At 42, if you want a child get yourself to your doctor and start trying. Usually at that age doctors recommend starting assisted fertility methods if you're not pregnant within 3-6 months.
Even if your cycle is like clockwork, the quality of your eggs dimish rapidly with age. You may get your period for a long time to come, but that does not mean that your eggs can still produce healthy embryos.

So I don't think you are too old, but you definitely don't have any time to waste... good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

I just had my last (and he is my last!) baby. I am 45. He was a surprise...a wonderful, beautiful surprise. It happens.

Women in my family have their periods into their 60s, SO I had a tubal ligation, because I really, really, really think I've pushed it as far as I care to.

I love my baby, but a surprise at 50 doesn't sound too good.

p.s. Don't wait until you are "back in shape". If you want to get pregnant, start trying. There will NEVER be a perfect time!

p.p.s. One of my sons is adopted. Also an option to consider, but you don't want to push that too late either.

I'd say start trying and GOOD LUCK!

3 moms found this helpful

You can't count on genetics. Most people I know are starting menopausal symptoms in their 40's, And you know that eggs get old.

You are verging on too late right now. And it's not true that it's "never too late." Only a young person would say that. If you really want kids, you'd better get on it right away.

3 moms found this helpful

It's amazing (if not offensive) at the opinions younger women have on this subject.
Here's the deal: What's right for you is what is right for you! And I agree with the advice to speak to your OB/GYN to discuss risks, etc. You then will have your eyes wide open.
I delivered my first (and only--planned it that way) at 39. No problems, no complications, etc.

2 moms found this helpful

you SHOULD have a check-up with your OB/GYN. FIRST.

Each woman is different, when it comes to fertility... not it always being based on numerical age.

Getting a body back in shape... can take a LONG time too. How 'long' are you going to allot yourself, to get back in shape? And what is getting back in shape mean, for you???? The scale or how you feel or look??? That expectation can be never ending... too.

And then, what is it going to take, to feel 100% 'settled' in life/marriage/work/stress... before trying to have a baby? That too... is never ending per expectations....

If you want a baby.... see your OB/GYN.
I would not wait... to try and conceive.

Bear in mind, getting pregnant can take a LONG time, no matter what age you are or what lifestyle you have.

I have 2 kids.... (and had 1 miscarriage), and I conceived my 1st child... when I was over 35. I got pregnant each time, naturally. So I was lucky.
My kids are 4 years apart....
For me per my age when pregnant with my 2 children... those pregnancies were normal, no complications and they were born healthy and normal. BUT... I did have an Amniocentesis... with both those pregnancies... per my age at that time... and I chose, to do it.

My friend on the other hand, had IVF to conceive all her children. Her last child, was conceived when she was 46 years old. But it took time.....
Her kids were born normal, she had a normal pregnancy and no complications. Despite her age. She was lucky.

You CANNOT, ever, "Predict" when or if you will get pregnant. But sure, age does and can play a factor in it.

I would also suggest, that you take Pre-Natal vitamins... already. To get your body ready. My OB/GYN.... says to take Pre-natal vitamins.... even PRIOR to trying to get pregnant... and during pregnancy... AND even after the baby is born... while breastfeeding. For example.

all the best,

2 moms found this helpful

Its never too late,You can still try to have kids or if needed consult a doctor ,I am sure you can have them.my cousin got married at the age of 40 & now she is having 2 beautiful daughters so I guess you can try too.

Good Luck

1 mom found this helpful

I would say that if you really want a baby, you should start trying right away. Just because a woman of 50 still has a period does not mean she still has viable eggs. Our fertility decreased every year after our early 20s.

1 mom found this helpful

I'd move FAST. Chances of genetic disorders get really scary around the age of 42. So even if you are able, you should expect at least 1 miscarriage, if not 2 or 3. I don't mean to scare you, and you may have no problems at all, but our eggs start to get really crappy after 40. So, it could take a long time to have a baby. You never know. I know 40 year olds who have no problems, then I have friends that are 38 that really struggle --one had 4 miscarriages between child number 1 and child number 2.

I will say this, I am 38 and hubby and I are tempted to have a third. If we are going to do it, it will be really soon --my youngest just turned 1. My husband doesn't want to try for a third because of the genetic issues. Neither he nor I want to put ourselves in that sort of situation.

1 mom found this helpful

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