When Is the Best Time to Have Baby #2? - West Palm Beach,FL

Mine are 25 months apart and we love it! They are going on 3 and 5 and play well together, take care of each other, and love each other like you wouldn't believe! Also, he doesn't remember being the only child so there are no jealousy issues.

Good luck!

My girls are almost exactly 2 years apart and I LOVE having them so close. They get along with each other's friends and they have an instant friend in each other.

For me, I feel the closer the better. You need to also keep in mind that once you hit 30 the female reproductive system begins to have more problems. This can mean more risk for birth defects and misscarriage.

Good luck!

I find 2 years apart to be great. My children are 18, 16, 14, 12, 8 and 7 years old, as you can see they were all pretty much 2 years apart, except number 5. He was born in 2001, instead of 2000, or the pattern would have continued with 2 to 2.5 years apart. Certainly, the 7 and 8 yr being only a year a part were a little difficult during the first couple of years, but now it is great because they can do all the same activities (we also homeschool) and take all the same classes; I can also teach them everything together. It is really nice having them close in age. I do find that my 12 year old still enjoys the younger kids (and can do a lot with the older kids, too) so that extra year between Jake and her isn't so bad, but if there were much more of a difference a lot of activities would be more difficult. If I were in your shoes, I personally would start trying now, if it takes longer and they are further apart I would remember there is a reason for everything. Of course, this is just my experience and opinion, but I don't see any reason to space the kids further apart. I was 6 years older than my sister and that always put me in the position of taking care of her and not really playing with her!

Now, 2-3 years is a great gap because they will still enjoy each other and not be so jealous if your attention gets stolen. Your daughter will be potty trained and able to entertain herself while you tend to the newborn. Good luck!

I just had my daughter in July shes 7 weeks now and my son is 2 1/2. Right now its a lot of work because my son is in a totally different place with his needs and demands and we are working on potty training etc. I feel there is never enough of me to go around!! Its a lot harder than I thought it would be! LOL! But I know I will be happy when they are like 4 and 2! But if I had to do it over I think I would have waited til he was like 3. Just a little more space so he could get past this phase. But dont space them out too far or they have nothing in common. I have a friend who has children 5 years apart and without saying the 15 y.o doesnt have much in common with the 10 y.o who doesnt like to play the same things as the 5 y.o! Its just a huge gap! Closer is better-you just have to decide how close! Good Luck!

I can tell you the dynamics between mine. I have 4, and I homeschool. My oldest two are 2.5 years apart. Most of the time they get along really well and are interested in doing the same things. My third, a girl, is only 15 months from my second son. They got along great for the first couple years, now they bicker a lot. She's 6 and he's 7. I don't know if it's the closeness in age or the fact that she's a girl. My youngest, also a boy, is 2 years younger then my daughter. They tend to fight over toys a bit, and he feels left out of the older boys activities sometimes. But for the most part he gets along with all of them equally (and fights with them equally). As far as caring for the children, it was the easiest with the ones that are 2 years apart or more. But I wouldn't have wanted to put more then 2-3 years between any. Mostly because I wanted to be done by 30 (when my oldest is 20, I will be 41 and still young enough to enjoy some of the freedom) and also, I didn't want to have little ones around when older ones were old enough to move out. I watched my MIL dealing with her 5 year old the same time I was having my kids. She confided in me that she was too old and just wanted to be a grandma. Now she's 52 and dealing with a teen, and she's struggling with him. (of course, that's him, not everyone has a troubled child obviously!)

I have 5 boys ages 12,11,6,4,and 2. I'm so glad I had most of them very close together. They are very close and play excellently together! I had a 5 year gap between my 2nd and 3rd and I really wish I hadn't waited so long.

I just had #3 and I recommend, what I wish I would have done, to wait and make sure one is completely potty trained before having a baby.

I have a 9,5, and 6 week old. I like having the gap between them. The oldest plays with her 5 yr old sister and they don't fight often. I love the fact that I don't have 2 in diapers at the same time. It works for me.
One con for me is that the first 2 would have more in common if they were closer together.

Mine are 19 months apart and even though it's been hard, it's getting easier now that they are 2 and 10 months. 3 years seems like a great age gap between kids to me.

I think you are at the perfect point to start NOW! My daughter turned 3 two weeks before her brother was born. More power to those that can handle two babies in the house at once..but I needed to wait for my daughter to be less needy before I could take on the baby. It is great because they are still close in age, and play together beautifully...but I wasn't overwhelmed. My daughter was old enough to comprehend that I couldn't do a certain thing at certain times b/c the baby had a need. She also was old enough to understand the importance of being quiet while he slept. They are now 1 and 4, and it has been an awesome year! She loves to help me with him, and he loves her to pieces. When he naps in the morning, she and I get beautiful mommy daughter special time. No matter when you have your second, know it will be awesome! I never expected to feel such joy as watching my two children smile at each other, with looks of love plastered on their faces. I will say, my sister and I are almost 6 years apart, and that was too much. We were never close as kids. Never in the same schools, etc.

My oldest is 17, my middle is 8 and my youngest is 6. My oldest is very close to her younger siblings and my younger ones adore their older sister and they are super with each other. They all three are very close. I also homeschool my two younger ones and my oldest goes to public school. What it will boil down to is how you raise them not how much time is between them! With you being 30 I wouldnt wait too much longer though if you want three so you wont have the fertility issues creeping into your mind. (issues can start after 35) Good luck!

I have an 8, 6, and soon to be 3 year old so I've done the 2 year age gap between kids and then a nearly 4 year age gap. I think however it turns out for each individual family, just works out in the end, but I have had a few occasions when I wish we had gone ahead and had our 3rd sooner after our 2nd so that they were all closer in age.

Having them close together is hard the first few years. Having multiple kids in diapers, needing multiple carseats, needing to keep a close eye on more than one child at a time is tiring!!

However having them farther apart makes planning activities that appeal to all of the kids hard (impossible) to do. Someone is always disappointed in the movie that's on TV, the music that's on the radio, and the choice of outings for the day.

I don't homeschool, but I would guess that perhaps having them closer together would be a benefit to that as well. It would be difficult to discuss math with your 9 year old if you have a 2 year old causing mayhem, for example. Having them all closer in age would make lessons and activities easier to apply to all of the children.

Like I said, I think whatever your family ends up looking like, you will find what works and it will all be fine in the end.

Good luck,
K.

I think between 2-3 years of age. Our 2 daughters will be almost 4 years apart -- I wish they were a little closer, but too many things were going on last year that we would no have been prepared for a second child. My sister and I are 5 years apart -- and she did not like me at all when we were growing up, it wasnt until she was in college that we did get along.

It also depends on your home situation at the time, but I think less than a 2 year gap is too much. My husband and I want to be able to enjoy raising our children and not be in constant stress. I think too close of a gap does not allow individual time with an infant.

My 3 year old daughter is fully aware that we are having another baby, and it is great to share with her this experience -- she loves to feel her sister move in my belly.

Good luck.

L.,
My boys are 19 mos apart & I LOVE it!! They are almost 3 & 14 mos right now. And I am pregnant with #3...not due until April. So my youngest & the new baby will be 22-23 mos apart. I am 36, so we didnt have much time....
I know that I will probably go a little nuts at times with 3 under 3 1/2. But my sister & I are almost 4 yrs apart & growing up, we were in different worlds. Until she went to college. Then suddenly we were on the same page. We are now 32 & 36 & we are SUPER close!
So my suggestion, is to have them closer together rather than farther apart.
H.

I am not sure that there is a best time to have the next baby. All things happens for a reason. Having been an only child, I knew that I wanted my kids close in age. My kids are 25 months apart and it was rough in the beginning, but now it is perfect. I always wanted my kids to have each other to turn to if they had an issue they didn't want to share with mom. I knew that for them being closer in age would help them to foster that relationship.
However, my daughters best friend who is about to turn 8 has a 7 month old sibling and the two of them could not be closer. The age gap is just how things turned out but the kids are very happy to have each other. Unfortunately as a woman ages, there are more possibilities of a high risk pregnancy. Although 30 is not old, in child bearing years mother's age is a consideration. So my suggestion is don't wait too long if you want more than two.

My boys are 2 yrs and 3 months apart. I planned it this way because I felt like 2 years apart would be pretty easy. I would say that it is a pretty good distance in age - close enough they have things in common, but far enough apart that they have different needs. I have friends that have much further apart and while it seems much easier to handle, it also seems much more stressful because they have forgotten what it is like to have young ones again. It seems to set them back in their own adult progression (if you know what I mean). They got use to being able to go on all the rides at the parks and now one has to sit back with the baby - if that helps you understand what I am saying.

On the flip side - I have friends that have babies less than 2 yrs apart and they seem to have had it even more easier than me. So, my personal opinion is no longer than 3 yrs (which means start trying now) and no less than 16 months (for your own sanity and cost of diapers). :-)

My first three are 14 and 16 months apart. The rest of my kids are farther apart.
In my case, the closer my kids were the better off they were and the better off we were. There interests are more the same. They play better together. My second and third talked so much sooner and walked sooner and potty trained sooner than the first one because watched and learned from their older sibling. They are more apt to do things together when they get older. They will do homework together. They will play sports together and might even be on the same team. Being on the same team (same activity) helps tremendously for scheduling. They ended up playing in the band in high school. Only one concert to go to. They worked on their scouting activities together. They made eagle scout and each one helped the others.

The bad part of having three close together? Diapers. But the older one or two always want to help by getting the diaper for the one in need. And they potty trained sooner.

We had 8. I just had my 17th grandchild born last week. I'm in 7th heaven. Because I had 8 kids and because of my job, I was constantly meeting new people and the topic of family always came up. What I found was that 4 appears to be the ideal family size. When parents got into their 40's, those that had one child usually wished they had had three more. The ones that had two kids usually wished they had had two more, etc. Those that had 4 or more were almost always happy with the number of children they had. The exception to that, those whos kids went on to institutions of "highler learning" like Alcatraz or San Quentin. Then they usually wished they hadn't had that one or had not had any kids at all.

I'm very glad I had eight. I can't imagine how miserable I would be if I'd only had two. (My oldest two live over 1000 miles away. My other 6 live within 60 miles and at least two of them bring their families over for dinner on Sunday. Its a wonderful part of my life.) We do things together as a family. In Jan 2012 I got 7 cabins for a cruise to the Mexican Riviera and those kids that can go are going. A few years ago we went to Alaska on Princess and 6 of my kids went. Those moments are priceless.

Good luck to you and yours.

My girls are exactly three years apart. I think it works perfectly. When my youngest was a baby, my three-year-old was old enough to help with little tasks. Now, they are close enough that they play together and get along (most of the time!). I would say that 2-3 years apart is ideal. What are you waiting for? lol! Good luck Momma!

My children are 10, 7, and 1. I really wanted them two years apart but because of some fertility issues and a misscarriage, the first two are 3 and 1/2 years apart. Now that I have experience this age distance, I think it is great and would work well with homeschooling. (The older one will be independent enough to work on her own for awhile as you assist the younger one.) I am a credentialed teacher who is staying at home so I have worked with my kids at home a lot even though they attend a private school.

What I would not do if you can help it? If you go for number three don't wait too long after 2. I dearly love my third and she is certainly a blessing, but it makes learning academics at home a challenge. It can be done, but it is a challenge. Her needs are just so vastly different from her brothers. It works out well when they are at school because then I have 1 on 1 time with her and when they are home, they are a great help with her but learning time is a bit trickier.

Good luck....enjoy your children!

We decided how many children to have by how old I wanted to be when I had the last child. I wanted to stop having children at 30 (my first was born when I was 24). We ended up having four children, I gave birth to my last child when I was 31 1/2.
It was hectic and I spent a whole decade nursing and/or pregnant, but we wanted a big family and I loved having all that "little" energy in the house.