When Do You Tell Your Kids?

I tell my son as long as you keep believing, there will always be Santa and everything else. My 14 year old neice told my sister this past Christmas that she did not believe in Santa, and guess what, she did not get anything from Santa but my sister and brother did. She now told my sister that she believes because Santa brings all the really cool gifts and my neice did not get her cool gifts. Let kids be kids for as long as the possible can! Children know this figues are not real, but if keep telling the true reason for the holidays the magic will always live one.

It's such a weird thing to lie to your kid then have to tell them the truth, but what else are you supposed to do? :) I plan on doing things the way my mom did. I always knew Santa and the Easter bunny etc weren't real. I would find presents hiding, see Easter baskets at Walmart etc. So finally i asked my mom one day if they were real and this was her answer : If you don't believe, you don't get presents. If you tell another child it isn't real, you don't get presents. Every question I asked was answered with those two sentences, an an expression on her face that says it's ok to not believe, but don't say it out loud or you don't get squat. Now, my husband's parents didn't tell him at all, and he never questioned it, until one of the kids in his 5th grade (!!) class told him. Some kids are just more trusting than others. Best of luck to you! Jen

I think when you don't believe then their is no more Christmas, .... same for everything else.

That is what I tell my son, he is 6.

I will just tell my kids the history behind all the "legends" and why we still "use" them today. Just like we've done so far in explaining secular and Christian observances of holidays like Easter & Christmas.

I like Jennifer M's response... But I am sure that my kids know the real reason for the holiday...We get birthday presents on Christmas to help Jesus celebrate his birthday...And on Easter we don't really do easter egg hunts at home ( we go to community egg hunts ) so we will give a little basket that my mom sends...but we Make sure that we are at church that day to PRAISE GOD for Jesus' death and ressurection to save us.
My husband hates these holiday's because of all the commercialism. He would much rather celebrate the REAL REASONS for the Holiday seasons.
As far as that I haven't really had any issues with the toothfairy...I guess depending on the age, if they find out and they are in 5 or 6 you can try to explain it to them or get a children's book about it... I have a book that explains the truth about Santa Claus.

Hope this helps,
K. J.

I love the spirit of these holidays and the fact so many people don't believe in that anymore is really sad to me! And the people not even wanting their kids to believe. But to each their own I guess.

This is probably not going to be much help - but - just recently, I was outside with my oldest, who is 4 and he was playing with a neighbor's child who was 6 and the little boy tried telling my little boys (3 & 4 years) that the tooth fairy wasn't real and that it was Mom & Dad. I was horrified! My boys just started believing & understanding all those fun traditions about a year - year and a half ago and to see it go so fast really put me on edge. So I replied, without skipping a beat, that "Wow, that's strange. He comes here!" and the little boy looked at me like "NO WAY!" and I said "Yep, I don't do it - the tooth fairy comes to our house!" and I can see it put the wonder back in that little boy as well as my boys didn't believe him for a second!

The thought of it all being ruined really scared me. Holidays are always my favorite and I think they are part of being a child - like the "peter pan syndrome" I guess. I remember when I stopped believing in Santa, things just weren't the same. I think I was 9 or 10 when I had doubts. We have such a short amount of time to have that innocence of believing, I think that as long as they believe it, good for them. Now, maybe if they are 25 and still don't get it - there's something going on there.

As for all the Santa's all over the place, my 4 year old belives those are Santa's helpers - after all Santa can't be everywhere when he's making presents at the North Pole! Also, my children love The Santa Clause movies with Tim Allen. They are about people who didn't believe, believing. =)

We decided to be honest with them from the get-go. How can they trust us otherwise? Also, they would think that it's ok to lie.

Besides, to us the real reason for Christmas has nothing to do with Santa Claus. I explained the legend of Chris Kringle and that its a great charity to others... but we don't tell the kids "you must believe (in this lie) or you don't get presents."

Same with Easter; has nothing to do with bunnies and eggs to us. I explained that some people celebrate Spring this way but it's not one of our celebrations. Besides most kids *I* have seen are SCARED of the guy in a bunny costume (and the guy in the Santa costume). And, how do you explain to them how Santa was at the Kmart 10 minutes ago and is at the mall now... and on the corner of "Main ST" on the way home? LOL

For the tooth fairy, my parents tried that junk. I never bought into it but enjoyed the quarter.

We get gifts for our kids many times throughout the year. SOmetimes for no reason, sometimes with their allowance (with mom kicking in a few more bucks), go to Busch Gardens regularly, go to Aquarium & zoo & park, etc.... I don't feel the need to make them believe in untrue things just to let them feel special.

You will know what's right for YOUR family. Whatever it is, don't feel pressure to do something just because "everyone else is". Do it because you can easily explain it to your kids.

with my kids i'm open about the fact santa is mom and dad because i remember how upset i was when i found out the truth however there is some truth behind santa clause i'll have to try and find out the name of the story of the real santa but the story goes he use to make toys for all kids in his village and gave them out at christmas i believe i also didnt want my kids thinking santa only bring gifts to good boys and girls because what happens when they are in school nd one of there friends didnt get thing because they're family cant afford it i dont want them to think it was because they were bad there is lot more to the christmas holiday then giving gifts each year i take my 4 yr old nd my 3 yr to pick out a gift to give to charity i have also told them that santa is everyone who goes out of their way to brighten someone elses holiday season weather it be donating a toy to charity or donating time to a retirement center even though they are young they do seem to be getting the spirit behind santa good luck deciding what to do with it it relly is a family to fmily decission

My son was 12 when he figured it out.

E., is there NOT a Santa Claus! LOL As with Jen ... my mom told me that if I didn't believe then I wouldn't receive anything. We have a tradition that we go to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. When we return from celebrating Jesus' birthday, there are unwrapped gifts at our home for those who believe in Santa. If you don't believe, there are no gifts. Of course, there are always gifts for everyone ... because EVERYONE believes. The "regular" gifts are always wrapped under the tree from family and friends.

Our 19-yr old NEVER caught the Tooth Fairy and believe me ... he tried. But ... the Easter Bunny has made many many mistakes. Our 9-yr old hasn't noticed the mistakes. Different strokes for different folks. :-)

In other words, I don't believe there's a set time or answer. Just go with your feelings. But ... I was pretty sad when asked the first time. "Oh no ... there goes the childhood." :-) LOL

Have fun and enjoy the good days!

Hi E.. What we have here is the forgotten story of Old Saint Nick. Who was a real guy. His story IS real. and that's what you can tell your kids. When we celebrate Christmas we celebrate our Lords birthday and the man who did his work. So don't feel like your lying to your daughter. Your not. We might have to do the work now, but with that St.Nick lives on. The only fable about the story is the flying dear. And who doesn't need a little fantasy in their lives. Sometimes we adults read WAY to much into things. Don't you remember the joys of imaganation. Or how a good book could take you away. I don't know about you, but most of my unforgettable memories are of Christmas with my family and the excitement of what Santa brought me. All to soon she will find out on her own and then you might not see that little sparkle in her eyes. My son is almost 9 (in Jan.) and we still write Santa a letter and send it. As long as he believes I'll not stand in his way. I'm greedy I want to keep that sparkle in his eyes forever. Childhood is so short anyway, without us adults messing it up. So ENJOY and you too will have wonderful memories of your baby's Christmas.

my kids are 13, 11, 6, and 4. the older ones 'think' they know there is no santa, or tooth fairy but i still tell them there is!!! they seem to believe to have seen me or my husband being santa ot the tooth fairy......but i tell them (smiling) they're crazy, i like sleeping at night. i also tell them that santa doesn't get out present to people that don't believe, my husband and i also receive gifts from santa too.