October 18, 2011,
F.W. asks from Cumberland, MD on October 18, 2011
When Did Your Child Care About What Other Kids Were Wearing?
So this is kind of JFF and partially to get some perspective. My 3 year old had a meltdown had her first dance class because we did not bring a tutu and some of the other girls did. Next 4 classes she did great--really engaged and all. Yesterday she wore a leotard and tights since I wanted to sign her up for a more formal class once this one is over --most of the girls had the same outfit on until an older child walks in with a cupcake like confection of a dress you'd wear at a performance. My daughter stopped in her tracks and didn't want to dance because she wasn't fancy enough. Arrrgh! Given the previous response you lovely ladies gave to her fashion tantrum and given that this was not as much anxiety produced as her 1st class meltdown, I told her we were leaving unless she tried to keep going since her "performance" class is next week and she needed to "practice" She got back into it and moved on but she still was all envious of that little girls dress! So when did your child start to feel the peer pressure to dress a certain way? Any tips?
R.J. answers from Seattle on October 18, 2011
B.C. answers from Norfolk on October 18, 2011
Having a boy, my son doesn't really care about what he wears or what others wear.
He was about 5 when he said he thinks a lot of girls picks things to wear that are just stupid - can't run because of stupid shoes, can't climb because of stupid dresses, etc.
Dressing for a look that forces/causes you to cut back on your fun is not something that makes sense to him.
I hope he remembers this his whole life.
C.J. answers from Milwaukee on October 18, 2011
My son loves "Cars" and "Phineas and Ferb." If he sees someone with one of those t-shirts he'll follow them around and try to talk about them. It's so funny because he has no concept of personal space. He'll stand in front of them and start pointing out the different things. He gets really excited about back packs and lunch bags too.
After seeing "Cars 2" we were walking out and he saw a little GIRL wearing a Cars shirt. It was the SAME ONE he was wearing. You'd think they were long lost friends. He thought it was great someone else had a MATCHING shirt. He now calls that his "girl" shirt.
☆.A. answers from Pittsburgh on October 18, 2011
Well...actual "peer pressure" and "fitting in" type clothing opinions...I would say 7-8 years old with my son.
Now, in 3rd grade, everything has to be a sports jersey, NO jeans (only wind pants) and he's now WAAAAAAY too cool to wear a Mario or any other character shirt to school, but assures me that he "can" still wear them "around the house"! LOL
In first grade, I could have put a skirt and blouse on him and he would have been clueless.
J.V. answers from Chicago on October 18, 2011
My daughter noticed what other people wore at 2. It wasn't until she was 3, however, and truly understood consumerism, that I started to get questions like "can we buy me one of those." She started picking out her own outfits around 15 months.
She has never thrown a tantrum, however. She was very aware of what the other girls had on at her first ballet class, but I made sure she had on a leotard she loved, so it didn't matter to her what they wore. Also, none of the girls were dressed in fancy tutu's, etc. It says leotard and tights, so they were in leotards (with small skirts) and tights.
J.B. answers from Houston on October 18, 2011
Good question. Our 11 yr old son could care less what he wears to school. He's in 6th grade, big school, modern trends, big city etc. I remember 6th grade and I wanted what all the cool kids were wearing. Polo or Izod shirts, levi's 501's, adidas shoes. My parents did the best they could but I was well aware of the 'look'. We have tried to get him up to speed and he has no interest. So I just buy him what's in style and hope he realizes it, lol.
T.P. answers from Indianapolis on October 18, 2011
I think my daughter noticed at 3. She loves to dress up. She insists on wearing a dress or skirt to school everyday. When my daughter was in dance class she had to wear the little skirts or she wouldn't dance. It's enough to drive any mother crazy.
R.J. answers from Seattle on October 18, 2011
EXACT same age.
No tantrums about it but at 3;
he wanted hair like M's
skin like D's
shoes' like N's
and a uterus like mommy (he wanted a baby in his tummy for 2 solid years)
It's pretty developmentally normal for both toddlers and teens to want to be like other people.
C.T. answers from Santa Fe on October 18, 2011
My 7 year old son has still not done this. He could care less. He does like certain clothes for himself if I let him pick something out he has a definite opinion. But he has never really noticed what other kids are wearing...yet. Our daughter is 2. We will see if she is like your daughter as she gets older. She does seem to notice clothes already.