When Did You Tell People You Were Pregnant?

My husband and I didn't tell anyone until I was 3 months along because the first 3 months are always so tenuous and it can be possible for things to go wrong.

Hi E., we told people that we were close to as early as two weeks into the pregnancy. But waited until about three months for most others. I know that is tough waiting though!

Congratulations!!

D.
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I have never been able to take a pregnancy to full term (we adopted and have 2 great children).

My friends all waited until after their 1st trimester to tell friends and extended family. They all told their immediate family as soon as the doc confirmed it.

With my first pregnancy, we told both sets of our parents right away but waited until I was about 16 weeks along to tell anyone else. With the second pregnancy, we didn't tell anyone, and I was happy about that because I had a miscarriage just days after I found out. With the third pregnancy, we didn't tell a soul until I was fourteen weeks along. My brother and sister in law found out they were pregnant last October and told everyone they knew before they'd gone to the doctor, and when they went they had an ultrasound and there was a baby with no heartbeat.

I'm not telling you any of this to scare you or make you think something bad will happen, because odds are that your baby is going to be just fine. However, based on experience, I'd wait just a tad longer. It's a really hard secret to keep though, I'm well aware.

When I found out, I only told close friends and family. I did not wait for a doctor to confirm- those tests are pretty accurate. Sure it was early, but I figured that if anything happened, I would need their love and support. After that first trimester, I told everyone else- although some people had already figured it out on their own by then. Congratulations!

Hi E.,

Congratulations!!! I haven't read through all your responses but I am in agreement with Dawn P. We've always shared our pregnancy news with family and close friends early. I've had 2 full-term, healthy pregnancies and one miscarriage followed by another full-term healthy pregnancy. It was difficult to have to tell our dear friends and family that our baby had passed but their love and support was needed during that difficult time. When I found out we were pregnant with our 4th, we never questioned if we should wait or share the news early.

I agree that you don't need to wait for a doctor confirmation because the tests are accurate. You're experiencing all the signs and you know you are pregnant. Share the news as you feel comfortable.

As an ALACE trained birth assistant, I recommend that you rent a copy of The Business Of Being Born. It's a documentary by Ricki Lake & Abby Epstein about woman's choice during pregnancy, birth in America. The Thinking Woman's Guide to A Better Birth, by Henci Goer is a good place to start educating yourself for this remarkable journey.

If you would like more information for local & national resources please feel free to contact me.

Peace,
J.

We told people after I had a positive urine test, but I know people that waited until they saw a heartbeat on ultrasound. I was fortunate enough to work for my OB doc when I was pregnant with my 4-year-old. Normally, a heartbeat can be detected around 6-8 weeks on ultrasound, but not on a doppler until about 12-14 weeks in most cases. You can normally find out the baby's sex by ultrasound around 16-18 weeks, but I have seen situations where they could see the sex as early as 14-15 weeks. Hope this helps, and good luck and congratulations!

I wanted to wait at least until we went to the doctor, maybe even a little longer. But what really happened was, the day that I took the home test and it came back positive, my fiance told me he was running to the store and while he was gone he called his entire family and told them. This put me in an akward position because now I felt bad because his family knew and mine didn't. So, I ended up telling my parents a couple days later and my extended family several weeks into my first trimester. The very day I took the test and he told his sister she wanted to go out and celebrate with us, her husband and a couple of their friends! Everyone was asking me when I was due and was shocked when I told them we actually just found out that day! So in short, try to decide something mutually and stick to that even if it is hard to wait for one of you!

We waited for the dr. appointment to confirm what we already knew, but that is just me. Then again both of ours were little surprises, good surprises. The kind that are "Wow, you're kidding me, we're what? No way!" But we were happy. Just didn't think it could be that easy or that quick to happen!! Yikes, and i have two that are 15 months apart, the 2nd one was a real shocker!!! We made a big deal out of telling everyone about the first, we had both sets of parents over for dinner and they didn't know what to expect and they were shocked, and since baby #2 was a complete surprise the first one gave the grandparents a little box with a cute story/note telling them we were pregnant again! But I'm also superstitious kinda girl. I couldn't imagine life without my kids, I hardly remember life before them! Congrats!!

A. B

My sister in law told the family that she was pregnant. My mother told EVERYONE. When my sister in law miscarried it was painful for her to have to go back and tell everyone that she was no longer pregnant. When I got pregnant I waited 3 months every time to tell everyone. With my fourth child I had a miscarriage and I was very glad that I had waited to tell everyone. On top of the pain of the miscarriage I would not have wanted everyone coming up to me all excited about the baby that no longer existed. I would suggest that you wait until you are 3 months pregnant. If you are going to miscarry it usually happens within the first three months.

Personally I will never spill the beans before 12 weeks again other than to family and my bestests (bc they would know something was up either way) and they all know it is a guarded secret. With our first we were so excited and told everybody as soon as we knew. Then I miscarried. And it was so hard to tell people who were asking how excited I was that there was no longer a baby. It still makes menervous when friends tell me too soon. I have trouble getting excited with them because of what I went through, all I can do is wish them the best until they get a little further along and then get excited with them.

You told your parents but not your husband's parents! And you have told friends before you told them. Unless there is a valid reason that you haven't told them yet my advice would be to tell them as soon as possible. Hurt feelings can be avoided then.

12 weeks.
That's how long we waited, because you never know! The chance of miscarriage is high in those first few weeks, and my best friend has unfortunately experienced 3 of them.
Congratulations - I hope all goes well.
By the way, I almost gave it away at the office as I LOVE coffee and couldn't go near it while I was pregnant!

First congratulations!!!
I would wait until your doctor confirms. I have two teenage daughters. My first I knew within 4 weeks of being pregnant and told my closes friends and our parents right away. My 2nd, I did not know for sure I was pregnant until I was 10 weeks into it . I was on birth control pills with her. I was also pregnant 2 years ago ( I was 41 at the time) we could not believe it but once we got over the shock We were happy about it. We told the kids, my parents other family memebers when I was about 8 weeks a long. I later had complications and miscarried at 11 weeks. I should of waited, especially at that age. Your young and you will be fine. I was your age when I had my first. Its a joyful and exciting time in your life. Take care of you and your baby. Children are a true blessing.

A. B.

I did, I waited until doctor confirmation, with all but the 4th, that one I was so sure of & the home test verified it. Besides, we were home for Christmas so it was nice to tell everyone MERRY CHRISTMAS.But in the end it's totally up to you. If you're feeling that way & 3 tests have said positive, sounds like a sure thing to me. Congratulations!

I think waiting until after the first 12 weeks is up is smart. I'll tell you my own personal reasons. My husband and I had two miscarriages in our first two pregnancies, which is pretty common in the first trimester, but I was quick to tell EVERYONE our news... the hardest thing about that is making all of the phone calls to tell everyone what happened. TWICE... There were a few people that we even forgot to call and they saw us a year later asking, "where's the baby?" it brought all of that sadness back up to the surface to have to explain.
On the bright side, I'm now 20 wks pregnant with my third boy, all is well, but for all three of our full-term pregnancies, we waited until after at least two Dr. visits to tell our friends. DO tell family, though, just let them know that you're not ready to broadcast it if you chose to wait. good luck and CONGRATULATIONS!

My husband and I both decided we'd wait until towards the end of the first trimester to tell... and then he couldn't wait so we told just a few days after we found out from the pregnancy test. You are really pregnant -- you don't need the doctor to confirm it. :-)

We told everyone as soon as the home pregnancy test came back positive, since they're pretty good these days. We figured that we wanted all the support of our friends and family either through the pregnancy or in the event of a miscarriage. I know several people who have had miscarriages in the past and waited to tell people until they heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time. Really it's a personal choice that you and your hubby need to agree on.

we only told our parents and my best friend until i hit the 12 week "safe" mark, then told the world LOL

I told people right away. I know the standard is to wait until the first trimester is finished so that the risk of miscarriage has mostly passed. But I couldn't do it. I was so happy and wanted to share with everyone! If something happened and I lost the baby not telling anyone was certainly not going to make me feel better. I just found out that I'm pregnant for the second time and I have already told the world..lol. I did wait until I got the doctor test. But, ultimately, you have to do what's best for you. Congratulations!

after having confirmed the blood test

I am 26 weeks along. We told immediate family and a few people close to us and then waited until we knew everything was OK to tell the rest of our family and friends. I had some complications early on so had several early ultrasounds and at 10 weeks we got some great pictures and made up cards to send out to the extended family. It's really a personal choice and if anything happens it can be good to have people close to you there to support you.

If you've told ANYONE, they'll usually tell EVERYONE! Might as well go ahead and tell them yourself. We have 4, and when we were expecting our last one, my husband told a couple people at work (first). He AND his mother worked for the Board of Education in our county, and she knew it before we got a chance to tell her! We wished we'd been able to tell her ourselves, and you probably will too (if they 'hear it through the grapevine' instead of from you). Just do it! Then if anything happens, they can SHARE your joys AND/OR your sorrows, ant it'll make you all closer. You know . . . a shared joy is doubled, and a shared sorrow is halved.

Happy parenting!

I waited until the end of the 1st trimester. I had a high risk pregnancy, and waited only because I needed to for myself. After the 1st trimester some of my risks were lower, so it seemed safe to spread the word. We also enjoyed waiting, because we were able to enjoy our special news together and come up with a really creative way to tell the grandparents!

I'm a new mom to a beautiful 4 month old. I had to tell everyone right after we found out because I was high risk and had so many Dr appts to account for (at work). I've worked in an OBGYN office previously where we did urine tests to check if a woman was pregnant. Women wouldn't tell anyone until they came into our office to confirm. However, the urine test they do at a Dr office is the same as what you can do at home. If you've gotten 3 positives, there's no doubt you are pregnant. When it comes to telling everyone, I think it's your preference. Since you have told some friends and family already, it sounds like you are ready for it to be known. If you are wondering about work, I wouldn't tell them right away, unless it's necessary. But, if you have a job that requires lifting or anything that may harm the baby, you need to tell them now. If it were me, I wouldn't tell work until I'm getting close to showing. What an exciting time in your life! I'm so happy for you and wish you the best!

Congratulations! With both my boys my husband and I were the only two that knew until after 12 weeks. I even went back to my parents house for a Labor Day weekend and didn't tell and they came to visit us for pumpkin pickin the second time and didn't tell. We just wanted to get past the first big hurddle.

I waited until I hit 12 weeks both times...but I told my parents and my inlaws on the same date. It would have crushed them to be told weeks after my own parents were told and certainly if I'd told friends before family. It is just as much their grandchild as your parents.

Not only did I wait for a doctor to confirm I waited until the 2nd trimester started because I knew too many people who had a miscarriage and had to go back and tell folks they were no longer pregnant. Something I did NOT want to have to do.

E., wondering if you should wait and do something special to announce your expecting especially with the holidays coming up as Christmas is only 44 days away at least from today. If you don't celebrate Christmas maybe some other special occasion would be appropriate... even New Years Day with the banner around the New Years Baby with your last name and due date.

I told my DH and in-laws right away but when I lost 2 babies back to back, it made it that much harder... but none the less, enjoy this awesome and wonderful time. Go ahead and tell the world but make it a HUGE announcement, it is fun to plan!

When I was PG it was Easter and I stuck a pair of booties (another great idea if you want to announce it during the Holidays) and stuck them inside a plastic egg in both my then 13 yr old's basket and I made my DH one too. They were both surprised!

Congrats!
Don't worry the 2 weeks will go by quickly.

First, congrats! I know what you mean. I wasnt convinced I was prego until I was, like, 5 or 6 months along!!! I knew I was, but was in denial I guess. Those tests are pretty darn accurate so I think its safe to say you are pregnant. Its completely a personal preference as to who you tell.

L.

I waited until the doctor confirmed it with an ultrasound. I had had a previous miscarriage at about 10 weeks. It was a bit hard afterwards because we had told some friends and family. So, for the rest of my pregnancies....I waited until we were sure.

With my first, I told my mom and sister that I suspected I was pregnant so they of course wanted to home test results after I took it. I told my dad after the home test too. We we living with some friends at the time, and actully it was the wife who told me I was pregnant and made me take a test. So they knew the results of the home test. Everyone else we told after the doctor's appointment.
With my second I was certain I was pregnant long before I took a home test. I didn't tell anyone though. I waited until I missed a period the home tested. Then told everyone. Everything had gone fine with my first so I didn't wait for the doctor's appointment to tell most people. Especially since we had 2 grandmothers who were seriously ill and I wanted them to know. They both passed when I was 5 months pregnant within 10 days of each other.

It is nearly impossible for a positive test to mean anything but you are pregnant, so congratulations. :-)

I was so worried w/my first pregnancy that I only told mom for several weeks.

I found out I was pregant a second time a week before my son's b-day. I was debating about telling everyone at the party, but I unfortunately miscarried 2 days before. My mom was out of town and I had to tell her after the fact. It was awkward to tell some people (such as my inlaws) about the miscarriage. The pregnancy was not real to them sicne they didn't know about it, so I got really no reaction from them. I feel sure that even if they'd known for a few days, it would have been a real loss.

Maybe this is not the slant you are looking for, but my I suggest you tell anyone you would want to know if the worst happens. Anyone else, it is none of their business until you are ready to admit it to the world. You have rights in the workplace, but I'd still keep it quiet (except w/ close friends) until you are further along. Some bosses are planning freaks and you may feel they want to plan your maternity leave before you are even showing.

Wait until after your doctor's appointment to tell very close family and friends, and the old tradition of waiting until after 13 weeks is still very wise. Congratulations.

We told both our parents and our older siblings right away and waited the three months to tell everyone else. In the beginning I only wanted those to know who I would want for support should anything happen.

To announce my pregnancy to my parents (it was the first grandchild) we wrapped a book called something like "101 Ways to Spoil your Grandchild." My mother immediately screamed and jumped around, while it took my father a minute. This is now a wonderful memory!

Just do whatever you are comforatable with!

I would wait until at least after my doctor's appointment, but you are pretty safe to tell everyone after 12 weeks.

With my first, we waited the traditional 12 weeks...although I told my boss earlier, since there were insurance things that were due and would be affected! After having serious, life-threatening complications after my daughter was born, our families were really wanting us to stop having kids. So with #2, we actually waited 22 weeks...seems long, but we had alot of information to gather and doctors to see, so that gave us the chance to not only share the good news, but also the reassuring things we had learned in the meantime. However, I made the mistake of announcing it at a birthday party, so now they assume I'm announcing something every time we have a birthday party! Also, it is really special to keep this secret with only your husband...just fun. By the way, #2 was born with no complications! Congrats, and enjoy this wonderful miraculous time...There is nothing like it.

Hey E.!
Congrats!! What an exciting time!!! My husband and I waited until after we confirmed at the doctor also - I thought maybe there would be further confirmation by doing the test at his office. But they use the same pee test as the ones you buy at the store (not the store bought brands, but it is the same type of test). So you don't need to wait for your doctor to confirm - you are pregnant! We found out close to Mother's Day so we waited until Mother's Day to tell our families and then until the end of the first trimester to tell most other people. But, if I got pregnant again now, I would tell everyone right away! It is so exciting and having any kind of bad news (birth defect, miscarriage, etc.) between now and then isn't going to change how you feel about the bad news. Just do whatever you feel is right for you and your husband! If you are excited about it and you want to tell people, then go for it! Wishing you a wonderful pregnancy!!!
Cyndi