When Did You Start Leaving Your Kids Home Alone?

My eldest is 11 years old right now. I will not get in the car to leave her and her younger sisters until she's been either Red Cross trained or Girl Scout trained and certified for babysitting plus some additional time to earn my trust and accept house rules. That would mean 12 or 13 years old minimum age. No compromise.

My middle daughter is almost 9 years old and won't be left alone for... well... at LEAST until she can be certified with Red Cross or Girl Scouts. Due to her Autism and all of the delays related to it, as well as her impulse control problems and inability to maintain her knowledge of safety rules in the moment of a situation 75-80% of the time, she may be well into her teens or twenties if she's ever allowed to be home alone. She'll likely need supervision for a long, long time.

My youngest daughter is 6 1/2 and is my most trusted and dependable, so as soon as she's Red Cross or Girl Scouts certified.

My son is 8.5.
I have left him for 10-20 minutes to drop something off at a neighbor (up the street--a car ride away for the sake of saving time).
It was fine.

As for a grocery store trip longer than 20 minutes...I'm thinking 12 sounds about right.

I always remember a story I heard of a dad that left the kids for "30minutes" and then got into a car wreck and the kids were home alone until mom got home. Dad turned out fine, just had a concussion from the airbag and was under observation. The kids were fine.

But you have to understand that if you leave for 30 minutes something could make it be several hours, and then what if your child was too young?

I would occasionally leave them home alone when my oldest was 12 and everyone was behaving.

One of the reasons I took my kids with me was to give my wife a break and to teach my kids how to shop.

Good luck to you and yours.

My kids are 15 spec needs (kids are not left alone when she's with us every other weekend) 12 and 9. I just within the last 6 months or so have left the 12 and 9 yo home by themselves for about 15-30 min by themselves. Usually if I have to run to the store or something. I have a standing meeting the first wed of every month and the next 2 months are 1/2 days at school so I will let them come home and I will be home about 45-60 min later. I keep telling them I am "trusting" them to see if I can allow them to do other things when they are older, like sleepovers, going to friends house, driving, etc. So they know that this is a "test" and they better behave. I have left my 12 yo by herself but will not leave my 9 yo by himself quite yet. Of course there are rules, no phone, no stove, no opening the door or answering the phone, no friends over, no going outside, etc. So baby steps right now but I would not consider it for kids under 10 at all, no matter how "mature" they seem to be.

I think my daughter was about 10. Shes a scardy cat too. But we had a big dog (made her feel better), she knew the neighbors, had a good phone list, her own cell phone and a house phone. First trips I did were to run to get milk or grab Subway (its a 6 mile round trip), when hubby wasn't home yet. We built up from there. Hubby and I would go grocery shopping (still only 6-10 miles RT), but longer time like 60-90 minutes, always daytime.

After that she was 11 when we left her alone for several hours, to go to a wedding reception about 15 miles away. It got dark during the time. She called me a ton of times to ask when we were coming home. She didn't WANT us to come home, she wasn't crying, etc, she just needed alot of reassurance that we could be home quickly. We got home about 10pm, and every single light in the house was on...the bathroom, all the bedrooms...every one!

We called her the Lighthouse Kid after that. To this day...17 years old, she will turn an excessive amount of lights on when left alone in the house at night. It makes her feel better somehow. We quickly progressed to her never ever wanting to go grocery shopping or to Home Depot ever again! She liked staying home, reading, watching TV, drawing, etc. Her and the 160 pound Newfie.

We had rules. Stay in the house, shades drawn (only let the dog out thru the garage..but really he was protective and never went out when they were alone...GOOD dog!), no cooking (which changed to no stove and micro only for like easy mac or leftovers type things), always answer your cell phone when we call or risk losing the phone and stay home privleges.

If the kids were home sick from school I would leave them alone for 15 - 30 minutes to go to the store, or pick up their sibling at age 7. I just left my sick 9 1/2 yo home for 2 hours the other night when I took his sister to soccer, but I wouldn't leave him home alone healthy yet - I just don't trust him quite yet when he's feeling his normal mischevious self, lol. I don't know when I'll leave my 8 yo daughter home alone for longer than 15 - 20 minutes, she tends to freak herself out if left alone.

Around 10. My older two were a little younger but they were also more responsible at a younger age.

When my son was almost 12 and daughter was almost 9. Both of them together, not just one.

Usually it was for 30 minutes when I needed to go to the store and my husband was on his way home but hadn't made it yet (he has almost an hour commute). Or if I needed to go into town and my husband was going for a run (a 35 minute or so thing usually).

After son turned 12 or so, he started getting left more frequently and by himself--when I take daughter to piano and hubby is still at work, for instance. That takes about 90 minutes, b/c the lesson is a 20 min drive away. With daughter, we don't leave her alone.

Now they are 13 and 10.
We have left the two of them together in more recent months while we went out for dinner on a Saturday night. Local, but 20 minutes away. We have our cell phones. I actually got a text from my daughter letting me know Dad had left his phone at home and btw, could they make popcorn? LOL

We actually left them for several hours a few Sunday afternoons ago, to go to an event in the next town. A 50th wedding anniversary luncheon. We got them lunch, then gave them rules and instructions and left them to their own devices. Son was wiped out, as he had been at a weekend leadership camp/seminar and had just been picked up that morning before church. So they pretty much just watched Netflix or movies and let the dog out as needed.

It worked out fine for us. The kids have been pretty responsible. No guests are allowed. They stay inside (not playing outside). They usually just watch TV or a movie or play their video games or whatever. Sometimes they are given a chore to do first, like clean their rooms or get their shower before they can start the movie. :)

It really depends on the kid(s) and their levels of maturity and responsibility and capability. And where you live, too, such as if you have neighbors that you know and they can contact if needed in an emergency.

In our state, Virginia, legally you have to be at least 9. ...and it can only be a short time then.

My oldest is 8, and not just because of the law, but because I also know she is not ready, she has not been left alone.

Mine is too young she is only 5. However, I have left my step daughter to run out for milk when she was about 11. She is a good kid and knew that if something were to happen in those 20 minutes to run to the neighbor’s house. I don't think I would leave her for longer than an hour though, but I am sometimes a worry wart.

I was a bit scared to do it but my 9 year old was reliable and I had a very good next door neighbor who could be called upon for the 4 year old. I would go to the store. At 9 I could leave my older one home alone for a couple of hours but not with her sister.
Age is not the determining factor it is behavior and understanding.

I think I was around 8 years old. I know I was baby sitting for church friends at 9 though

This reeeaaaaly depends on your child. Between 8 and 10 they can start handling short times, but I mean short. I would not leave the property but DH pointed out to me once when I refused to go run a quick errand that if I was 5 acres way for two hours working on the garden I was leaving them home "alone". And we have neighbors they can get to quickly. So it really depends on your individual situation. Now they are 11 and 9 and I can leave them for an hour or so to run errands and they are usually fine. Cell phones are a blessing and a curse! But if they can reach you right away with questions they feel better about it. Trust yourself.

We started leaving my son at home as soon as he turned 8 the legal age in MD. We trust him to do the right thing. We also live in a town house so he has several friends close by if he needs anything. We also have 2 large size dogs who are uber protective of him and I work 5 miles away. He knows the rules about never opening the front door out even checking who it is, he calls our neighbor and they check for him from their house. We also have food prep rules, no stove or oven only microwave and toaster and no sharp knife use. But it all comes down to me trusting him and every kid is diferent. Oh, and when he is home alone, hubby and I are not in the same vehicle. The one time we did we both put notes on our cell phones saying if anything happened to call our neighbors. I also tell exactly when we'll be back if late I'll call. If he doesn't hear from me he knows to call a neighbor.

8.5 to start. 5-10 minutes

@ 9 we're getting more comfortable, but I wouldn't do 30 minutes as yet, just because *I* would be nervous. I'm sure he'd be just fine.