When Can They Cook

Updated on January 12, 2009
T.S. asks from Angleton, TX
29 answers

My son is 4 and is always wanting to be in the kitchen. It has always been our rule that the kitchen is off limits, especially when we are cooking. As he is getting older I know that I need to let him be part of that part of life, but I'm just so paranoid of him getting hurt. He's just wanting to help, but it's usually only with the stuff going on on the stove, and there's usually more than one pan going at a time. When can I let him help and what discretions should I use so that I'm not being quite so paranoid and hindering his natural curiosity and development. Thanks in advance!!!

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L.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Let him get the things out of the ref. put things in the garbage, and make some cut out cookies with him that he can add sprinkles to and then eat. He can stand on a chair and wash a few things also like plastic containers, or silver ware he wants to be useful to you to help. These are simple things that you can keep an eye on while doing other things. This is a fun part of having the kids with you.

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

My almost two year old has been "helping" in the kitchen since she was just over a year old. She is very task oriented and helps clean up, sweep the floor, wash dishes and load the dishwasher.

I use the normal precautions...keep her away from the stove and isolate all dangerous utensils (can opener, knives, melon baller--it has a deceptively sharp edge) isolated in one drawer so they don't get mixed in with regular spoons and spatulas.

From the start, certain cabinets have been off limits and since she has her space, I rarely even have a problem with her getting into what she shouldn't.

A four year old should already have a good grasp of "hot" "cold" and "no". Save for an accident, it is perfectly safe for your son to participate in meal participation and clean-up...you'll be happy later if you start building helping habits now.

You need a good, sturdy non-slip stepstool or two and a little patience and creativity. Let him stand at the sink and "wash" dishes. Give him some kid-size pots and pans (IKEA has great kids kitchen accessories) and some of the food you are chopping to mix and cook on his own.

It is not paranoia to want to keep your kids safe, but we can wrap them in bubble wrap either. Teaching safety now will keep them safe later.

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W.C.

answers from San Antonio on

My daughter has always been in the kitchen. Life will get so much easier for youonce he is comfortable and knows the rules of the kitchen. She made her first cheese sandwich when she was 18 months. She will turn four this February and is in charge of her own lunches and helps me with every meal now. A great nutrition resource is www.myfoodpyramid.gov You can order some great resources or print them out. This is a great time to teach some nutrition too.
We let her measure and mix the wet and dry ingredients (great pre-math and chemestry exercise). She gets to stir it with a spoon or in a baggy, but I finish with the mixer if need be. She gets to break the eggs into a separate bowl. (She is better at it now than my husband is. LOL) She makes her own tortilla roll ups and sandwiches for lunch and chooses the fruits and veggies.
Some rules we have are:
Anything that plugs into the wall is off limits.
She has to keep a 3ft radius when I open the oven door. (Measured by the tiles of cabinets whichever is the clearest boundary for them.)
She can't ever touch anything on the stove, hot or cold.
And she can’t touch the red knob on the sink.
You can also start by making some non-food things like playdough, salt dough, and goop, you don't need heat for any of these. Pudding(Instant pudding shaken in a baggy is always a huge hit), sandwiches, and no-bake cookies are also great for the same reason, but helping with everyday meals should be included also. You can find reciepies online for all of these. Have fun and good luck.

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi T.-

My 6 and 4 year olds help me with almost everything that happens away from the stove. They breakup the lettuce for the salads, they help poor ingredients into the bowls, the help measure ingredients, etc. If something needs to simmer for 10 minutes for example, they will watch the clock for me and let me know when it's done. Even my 14 month old sits on the floor near us with an empty bowl and spoon and pretends to cook right along with us. At lunch time, my oldest two can make their own sandwiches now.

Good Luck,
K.

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J.C.

answers from Austin on

Dear T.,

Start a "Kids Night to Cook" night. Nurture his desire to help out. That's a good thing! Right now is your big chance to spend time with him. Believe me, all too soon they are grown up and gone.
Give him this memory of spending time with you. For instance, on Monday night sit down with him and plan a simple menu. I would start out with things that don't need to be cooked, at least not on top of the stove. Like salad, or sandwiches. Write out the menu, and tell him that the two (or three) or you are going to fix that meal on, say, Thursday night. Then, on Tuesday night go with him to the store and teach him how to buy the things for that menu. Then, later in the week, cook together. Start a notebook entitled, "Chef ______'s Specialties," or something like that. Take pictures to put into the book. Tell him what a wonderful cook he is, and how much you appreciate his help. It is so great to start teaching these young boys how to help out in the kitchen.
Have fun.

Love, J.

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A.D.

answers from Austin on

To tell you the truth, my son is 16 months old and just the other day I let him help me make pancakes! I pulled up a chair for him to stand on and after i measured the mix up i got a big fork and let him help stir and when they were done I helped him butter it. Now he didnt do much but he wasnt standing at my feet crying for my attention nor did I have to turn on the tv. Just a little patience and time can let your 4 year old feel included and be proud to say that he helped make this for dinner. Happy cooking!

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V.H.

answers from Houston on

Start with Jello, let him HELP!!! Do it on the open dishwasher, all the mess will go inside!! This is a good age to mix things! I even held my boys up and let them stir on the stove, yes, hot stuff, with my hand on his, on the spoon!
I let my kids stand on a chair to watch the food cook.... put the chair backwards so they can hang on to the back of it and look over. Make it fun! Put select sandwich stuff down so he can fix his own sandwich.It is very interesting!! Let them, cook, let them clean, make it fun!!

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A.W.

answers from Austin on

T.,

i think 4 is old enough to understand how to follow rules. Invite hin to make something simple then explain that the stove is a hot zone and before he's able to use that area he'll have to be in the kitchen as an assistant for a little while first. You could allow your son to help measure, mix, and pour ingredients. As he gets older, you can teach him how to hold a knife and cut veggies.

I think kids in the kitchen is a great idea as it promotes math skills, feelings of acceptancce and belonging, and could encourage him to try new foods. We did this with my oldest daughter (now 13) and she's able to plan and prepare full meals and often volunteers to prepare dinner during the week. My 4 yr old is still in the measuring, mixing, and pouring stage; but has started to cut things like cheese and lunchmeat with a plastic knife.

I don't think there is a definite time to start kids in the kitchen. Instead, I think it just depends on the child and the comfort level of the parent. Start with something you are comfortable with and go from there. You could create a menu of things that your son would like to make with each thing getting a little more difficult as he's learning new skills and you are getting more comfortable with him in the kitchen. I have a menu I put together for my children. If you'd like, you can contact me offline for a copy of it.

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

At four he is plenty old to learn to set the table, fold the napkins and place the flatware properly. He can put sald and pepper shakers, bread and butter, and any other condiments from the fridg. Keep all handles pointed away from the edge of the stove. There are lots of children's cook books available with things that don't have to be cooked. Let him learn how to make some of these. If you're baking rolls, let him put them on the pan and watch them thru the oven window to see when they're done. He just has to be taught in no uncertain terms that he is not allowed near the hot stove. If he's really determined, turn on the hot water(not hot enough to burn, just be very uncomfortable) and run his hand under it to demonstrate just how hot the stove is and how much it can hurt him.

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B.G.

answers from Austin on

Hi T., I think 4 is certainly old enough to start helping in the kitchen. I actually started allowing my son to help around 2 and a half. A little early but he was insistant!!! You have no idea. I just hovered over him and told him over and over and over how hot everything was. Keep him in snug fitting clothes when he cooks. He stirs soups and such, flips pancakes and tortillas...things like that. I also measure out spices and ingredients and let him throw them in. I also let him mix up cookie dough and help me put them on a pan when baking. Have fun! I think it will pay off for us some day. I find myself fortunate (as I'm sure you do too) that my little guy likes to cook!

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J.W.

answers from Austin on

Both my 2 and 4 yr olf boys help me out in the kichen. They know not to touch the stove and I reinforced this idea last week when I burnt my finger and told them how much it hurt :0)
Safe things to help: find the measureing cup with a 1 and 4 on it, fill the cups, get the red mixing bowl or white spoon, mix the ingrediants together, read the oven temp on the recipe and match the number on the oven, take turns with each step, crack eggs (their favorite), use their hands to mix or shape. They love using a butter knife to cut up soft foods.
I see it as a great opporuntity to learn colors, numbers, matching, size and space, fine motor skills, taking turns, and a fun sensory activity. Baking is a good starter because there is no cutting or stove top.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

My 3 year old has always loved helping me in the kitchen too. I let her hold my hand as I chop things up-not meat or anything raw. I let her crack eggs too and she's getting better. I always make sure to wash her hands after the egg to avoid contamination. She is pretty happy when she gets to help. I tell her a knife is dangerous and only mommy can cut with the knife. I do not let her do anything on the stove but 'look' cause she wants to see what it looks like in the pan. I just explain that is is very hot and she can get burned. She listens. I also let her peel the skin off the garlic-she is very good at it now. Or after chopping something I let her scoop it into the bowl. I give her the measuring spoon/cup and I pour the ingredient and let her pour it into the bowl. I let her stir things up. And she loves helping me make smoothings. She helps add the strawberries and helps hold the juice as I am pouring it in, I let her sprinkle the cinnamon, I put on the lid and let her push the buttons on and off. I've never had the kitchen off limits because I just think they need to know how to avoid dangerous things and keeping things off limits just makes it more exciting or intriguing. I don't let her play in the kitchen or bring in her toys. After I let her help a little she is satisfied and will usually go off and play a little more until she might come back and ask to help again. I will let her or I will tell her not now I need to hurry and you can help me later. You definitely have to have some patience since they slow you down but I think it's great that she has an interest in cooking...since she'll have to cook for herself one day.

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V.G.

answers from Austin on

If he is good at following directions and obeying the rules, let him in the kitchen to help out. If he breaks the rules, he's out until he learns to obey and stay safe. Cooking together is a great way to bond and learn, but some appliances, knifes, and anything hot, need to be safely avoided. I've seen kids with nasty burns and scars from accidents and spills in the kitchen... you don't want to make him afraid to ever cook, just teach a healthy respect for hot and sharp things and when he should stand back. Think how often adults can accidentally get burnt or cut in the kitchen, normally small, but this could be very frightening to a child. A small burn on an adult looks very large on a child. Just set comfortable limits, and as he achieves success and earns your confidence give him a little more to do.

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J.H.

answers from Austin on

Hi T.,
I have the same issue and just bought my daughter a little fold-up kitchen online at landofnod.com. When I'm cooking, I open it up for her on the kitchen floor and she "cooks." I also let her unload the tupperware drawer and restock it (over and over again, you know how that goes!) and she seems to like this, too. I have to step over things or risk breaking my neck, but both these remedies allow us to be together and, more importantly, they allow my daughter to be part of the big rituals of meal-making which I think she recognizes as central to family life, really. The other thought I had is that an all-out ban on the kitchen can, obviously, make the kitchen the most appealing place in the house for a toddler. Do you have enough time to consider doing some baking with your son? He could help you make cookies, for example, and then when you need to make supper you can explain that he'll have time his time in the kitchen with you when it's cooking time. Baking with my daughter has been huge. I let her pour the flour in the bowl and she just gets such a charge out of it. If you can manage some time with your son in the kitchen, I bet you'll find it's a terrific bonding thing.
Good luck!
J.

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A.P.

answers from Austin on

I like to let my son make his own meal with dried beans,
rice ,etc. with the measuring cups and his own pot.
Keep his separate that he can use any time.
PS-they like to have more than one pot.

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

My 3 year old granddaughter has been "cooking" for 2 years. Get him a stool high enough he can reach the counters and let him mix dry ingredients. Make cookies or cupcakes and let him ice them and decorate. Your new rule should be that he is ONLY in the kitchen with you supevised, but he can be there. Its great he wants to help and learn. 4 is old enough to learn rules and limits. If he's interested in what is on the stove, let him watch from a distance of a few feet and give him something else to do while he does. Don't squash his interest in cooking and helping, please.

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T.B.

answers from Austin on

Greetings T.,

I teach cooking classes to kids and there is a lot that they can do in the kitchen while minimizing the risk of getting hurt.

May I writing down (on a big board) a list of rules to work in the kitchen. For example (and this is what I have in my classroom).

Chef's Rule number 1: Safety is the boss. No cooking is done without cooking safe.
Chef's Rule number 2: All hands will be washed - twice.
Chef's Rule number 3: Little chefs are not allowed to use knives.
Chef's Rule number 4: Only one chef near the stove. Little chefs must be four squares away from the stove.
Chef's Rule number 5: Every chef has a job.

Finally...get a set of kid safe kitchen tools, Hand blenders, mixers choppers and a few plastic cutting boards. He can copy kid friendly recipes out of almost any cookbook and create his own.

Here is one link that I use frequently:

http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/kids/

Hope that helps.

Cheers

TomB - Austin Texas

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

He could pour the rice in the pot, add the salt and pepper already pre measured, bake cookies, make a pband j. Simple things like adding spegetti sauce to the pot. Be right there with him and note mistakes and help him. Oh be careful and its ok no problem are things you will say alot. If you make home made pizza's he can add the cheese and pepperonis. If he gets frustrated with you fixing his things like spreading the cheese out more say oh you did a great job let me just spread it out a little more like this and show him on one half and let him fix the rest. Best of luck to your little chef!

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G.W.

answers from Odessa on

let him in to help. it's much fun. make meatloaf and let him squish the all the ingredients together. let him pour, stir, wash, put away, anything hands on--- let him in there......you'll never reqret it. Think of all the conversations you can begin. If you start him talking to you about everything now what a perfect time and place for him to unload when he is older. Have fun.

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S.R.

answers from Sherman on

teach the child how to cook with age appropriate items. There are a NUMBER of cookbooks with kid appropriate activities - to make it fun for you and him.

Cooking isn't all about the stove. It's measuring (can we say math and fractions?), mixing (here's your science - individual things like flour, baking powder, salt, raw eggs, aren't tasty, but in the "aggregate" they make wonderful choco chip cookies and cakes), and so on.

It's also about cleaning up. You make that mess you clean it up. a stool and dish soap at the sink to wash those measuring cups and spoons, those things that aren't sharp, will do a great deal to help him foster that desire, and kitchen safety is one of the things you'll be teaching him, without it being a lecture. and you'll enjoy the bonding that happens with it. You might have a future chef on your hands.

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P.H.

answers from Austin on

I think a 4 year old (especially a motivated one!) can do anything in the kitchen not involving heat or very sharp knives. But he may be able to do some cutting with lots of supervision. Get that child measuring and stirring and washing and he'll be a much better person for it. My son could make himself a PB &J sandwich at that age and get his own cereal and milk (if the gallon wasn't too full) and it's very helpful! Please get him involved, start slow, but I bet he'll just amaze you and you will know when you can trust him with more and more difficult tasks the more you two work together. Have fun!

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N.D.

answers from Houston on

I know I wanted to be in the kitchen at a young age and I'm a great cook who has entertained and hosted many parties of all kinds. My sweet granddaughter seemed interested from the beginning too so she was helping me at least by the age of 2. Once I let her pick out the spices for a pot of chili. It was okay that she chose cinnamon, we just put a little. Once I gave her a scrap of paper with some words on it and told her to read me the recipe while I was preparing. She insisted it said we needed to add sugar so I did end up letting her put just a bit of it in the chicken dish! As a grandma you really learn to enjoy the moments and not sweat any small stuff. :-) She is almost 4 and she has mixed, stirred, cracked eggs, buttered toast, put oil or butter in the pan, flipped over with a spatula, all with a little help. She's always liked washing dishes and cleaning up with me too. I thuroughly enjoy having her with me in the kitchen and I know we're making memories and giving her a desire to create!

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

I love all of the responses. Yes, your son can help! He can put toast in the toaster. He can put butter or jam on any bread product. Let him use the back of a spoon if you are worried about a knife.

If you make green beans, have him break off the ends and then have him break the green beans into 2 or 3 pieces. Let him rinse them off using a strainer.

If you make pinto beans, have him sort through them, show him the ones that need to be thrown out. Let him rinse them and then let him put them in the pot to soak.

Give him a veggie brush and have him clean the potatoes or carrots.

If you all eat grilled cheese sandwiches, have him put the sandwiches together and then you grill them.

Always have him go to the refrigerator or pantry to get your ingredients. "4 carrots, 1 onion, yellow cheese, loaf of bread". You should purchase a step stool and an apron. Also if you have a basket or bag to collect the ingredients, that may help him carry things around the kitchen. Kids have little hands and that is why they tend to drop stuff all of the time. Teach him to sing the "happy birthday" song while he washes his hands with soap so that he knows how long to wash his hands, before and after preparing a meal.

This spring is a great time to also start a veggie garden. The seeds will need to be planted in small trays in feb or early march so that you can put the little plants in the ground this spring. He can help you with the seedlings. Make sure to purchase veggies that grow well in your area.

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L.B.

answers from El Paso on

Hi T., He is old enough to start helping in the prep phases of food. Especially if you are making cookies or something like that. One thing you could do is plan out a time when he can help make something, like cookies( since there a lot of things to pour in and measure out. This is a great activity and at the pre-school I used to work at, we did activities like this all the time to help encourage math concepts and team work, waiting your turn ect... This way it turns in to fun mommy and me time AND he can have the satisaction of helping create something. When it's time to put it in the oven or take it out, have him stand back and watch.
L.

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K.A.

answers from Austin on

The great thing about letting kids help you cook is that they learn to be more excited about new foods if they help prepare them. They also learn about math and science. Let them help measure or mix. Get a kid friendly cook book, learn something new together. It could be fun!

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M.P.

answers from Beaumont on

My husband started our now 7yr old at the age of 3, they baked cakes and cupcakes. 1 time a week. It was great for their relationship, I have always encouraged my kids in the kitchen. They knew not to touch the stove. Spoon beating a cake batter for 300 strokes was plenty. We also broke the eggs by the sink and put them in a bowl, washed our hands immediately, and then carried on.
They all loved it, I highly recommend it. Kind of gets the foot in the door for future dietary talks.
Good Luck

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E.B.

answers from Houston on

I let my 4 yr old help open a can w/ the manual can opener with the strict instructions to "NOT touch the lid. Mommy will remove it from the can." Of course, she tried to get the slippery can lid off and sliced her thumb a bit and we ended up in the emergency room for 4 stitches. Dinner was eaten at the little restaurant across from the hospital. But you know what? No harm done, not even a scar to show for it. (She even took a couple of her stitches out herself a week later- just to see what it was like.) She still loves to cook and can turn on the oven and stove and use them safely. (She's now 13) In fact, the only child I have that doesn't cook at all and doesn't want to learn to cook and actually has his friends cook for him is the 16 yr old, the first child, who was not allowed to handle any kind of knife until he was 5 or 6years old (not even a table knife or plastic picnic knife!) and was only given pots and pans to play with- never encouraged to actually cook. My point is, accidents will happen- hopefully they will be minimal. All of the stove and oven rules listed below are VERY good- especially counting how many tiles away you have to stay or which cabinet door you have to stand by if the oven is open or the stove is on. But her cutting her hand on the can opener taught her a very good lesson- Mom is serious about kitchen safety- and has made a great story over the years. There will always be dangers but the rewards are greater in the long run if you take a little risk. And the joy of being able to say "Make it yourself" when they get older is wonderful! My youngest (10) even started a dog biscuit company this summer- she was in a leg cast and couldn't spend much time outside- so she researched dog biscuit recipes online- made them (Our Golden Retriever was the taste tester)- came up with a logo, biz card and sold cookies to all of the dogs that walk by every morning. Oh! And the one stove tip that I didn't see below is make sure the pot and pan handles on the stove are always turned to the inside- not hanging off the edge where they can be grabbed or knocked off. Have fun!

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R.

answers from San Antonio on

Our kitchen is also off limits (literally, we have a gate and only adults can open it). My 2,4 and 6 year olds all help with age appropriate tasks. This simply requires a little extra prep time on my part. My 4 year old loves to stir and add ingredients (if you measure everyting before hand and put it in small cups or bowl, your son can add it to the large bowl). My 6 year old is learning to measure and even cut some things using an appropriate knife. My 2 year old also loves to stir. My kids also set the table and clear when they are done eating. They have a lot of fun and when they help prepare the food, they are much more likely to eat it. Hope this helps.

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J.T.

answers from Austin on

Tell your son that a lot goes into helping in the kitchen. It's not just the stove that makes the dinner but other things around the kitchen.
My son is 3.5 and I let him close the soap dispenser on the dishwasher. Then he shuts the dishwasher carefully and has learned how to turn it on.
I also let him stir if I'm baking something. He stirs the batter some.
When he's older, he'll get to do more and more things.
When it comes to the oven though, I tell him that he can't help until he's a double-digit age. So far, he's been okay with that response, as long as he's allowed to help with other things like mentioned above.
HTH,
Jen

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