Whats Wrong? - Des Plaines,IL

Updated on September 12, 2011
S.S. asks from Seattle, WA
14 answers

My child started first grade and now she is just "different". Different meaning, she is really quiet, starts crying over things she never did before (eg. her toy fell) She is also becoming very dark skinned, tired, and doesnt want to leave the house. I am not worried about complexion problems, but it seems like something is getting to her. Like health wise or mentally? I have tried talking to her in different ways to get her to say whats wrong, or whats going on in class, but she avoids it.
I am Sad because I dont see my baby's smile anymore. Its just a frown.
I know something is going on, but how do I find out what?

Please help moms

1 mom found this helpful

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K.P.

answers from New York on

My first thought is a bully. Call the teacher and ask for a conference. Then call the doctor and get a complete physical with bloodwork!

5 moms found this helpful

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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2 moms found this helpful

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

could this be a nutrition issue? Like maybe she's not getting enough of a certain vitamin combined with more physical activity being at school = lethargic/sickly child? If her skin is changing colors, I would make an appt with the pediatrician. As far as being different or crying, it may just be her adjusting to new surroundings.

2 moms found this helpful
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N.D.

answers from Chicago on

Start with your Pediatrician. It could be a nutrition deficiency. If you rule that out, I would get her in to see a Social Worker/ Psychologist to talk about feelings, etc.

Good Luck.
N.

1 mom found this helpful

G.M.

answers from Phoenix on

You may want to go and visit her class and see what's going on and talk with her teacher. Also, you need to alert the principal that something is going on because she is showing signs that something is bothering her. That way they can investigate what is going on. From your description, I would think that something traumatized her. Get to that school and demand answers ok.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.M.

answers from Chicago on

If you think her behavior changes are due to her starting first grade, then talk to her teachers to see if they have some input. Perhaps she is being bullied or having a hard time making friends. I would also take her for a visit to your pediatrician...maybe she is anemic and it is making her really tired?

Lastly, you could take her to a therapist. Here are some in your area:
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.ph...

Click on a therapist's name to see details about their practice, including rates, insurance, and whether they will work on a sliding scale.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Talk to her Teacher, and tell the teacher, how your Daughter is becoming....

Now as far as her skin... do they have recess outside? Maybe she is just getting tan.
ALL the kids here, have recess outside. Even with sunscreen on, they get tan. My fair skinned kids, included.

Your daughter, might be Depressed.
Even children can become depressed.
ALSO talk with your Pediatrician about her behavior.

I hope, she was not bullied or victimized in any way.

Use any means needed, to get to the bottom of this. This is not normal kid behavior.
Tthis is very concerning.
Did anything in her life change, besides school? How about any care-givers that she may have? Does she have a Dad? What does he think?

Talk to the Teacher, AND the Pediatrician. Right away.
And keep communication open with your child.

Also, you might go to her school one day, and just sit in class or observe her in class. Or Volunteer in her class for a day. IF the Teacher will allow you. Hopefully, the Teacher is not the problem.
You NEED to talk to the Teacher.

Does your child have any friends?

T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Some kids don't handle school well. She sounds like one of them. I was one of them too. I really feel like school killed a part of me. It did come back later on...and after a lot of emotional working through. I truly don't believe public school is for everyone. Some do great...others it's just a time of suffering. My neighbor had two kids in school. She actually just pulled them out this year for similar things. And, they are making major improvements already.

ADDED: Is she getting tanner? Maybe from being outside more? Is it expected that she should get darker skinned due to race or anything? If not, there is a condition I know of that causes darker skin. You'll want to do a cbc too to rule out any blood issues.

E.B.

answers from Seattle on

My son just started 1st too...and he is odd...or off from himself as well.

He had to come home Friday...cause he pooped his pants.....not even while potty training has he done this.

I have been keeping him closer these last few days. Just cause I think he is feeling left out at home while at school. He thinks we go and do these fun things everyday...because that is how summer break is for us...he doesnt get that while they(he, this year only)are in school...mommy has to work...I only have a blast when every one is out of school....brothers are working in workbooks or watching movies...or out taking art to people I work for.....so during the school year mommy is NO FUN!

I keep telling him the next 16 years he has left to learn the important stuff....So, that when he is my age...he can hang out and have fun..do what he LOVES and have a family..Like we are doing.

I know it is the change in schools and the fact he knows NO ONE. His little brother was in his Private school last year for Pre-K while he did Kindergarten....so he saw a similar face twice a week...and it was a much smaller scale then public schools. There were a total of 150 students in their Privates school....to lord knows how many in Public.

My point is I guess...this is to be expected for the first few weeks..and some of it may go back to normal...some of it may just be them maturing. I know I got very shy as I got up into the bigger grades...So they are just very overwhelmed right now.

We just gotta love the hell out of them...so they go to school know how much we love them! That is what gets them through the day.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Dear S.,
I saw a similar change in my oldest son during his K experience. I knew I had to bring him home and homeschool him full time. It was the best thing for him! Well, for all of us, really. He changed back to the joyful, exuberant, delightful child he was previously. It was like night and day. If you can do this (meaning you are home anyway), I highly recommend that you at least consider it. I committed to one year only at first. But, after we started, we all knew we couldn't go back to the status quo. We would never, ever want that type of life again. We love our freedom! We love exploring together, growing together, having the time together everyday. It is a very good life. That son is now 19, owns his own business, has thrived in his education and all around. Think about it, for her sake.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Thin skinned maybe? Cries at the drop of a hat or over nothing at all?
She seems to be under some sort of stress that she doesn't know how to deal with.
Talk with her teacher and see if she's noticed anything going on at school.
You can call for an early teachers conference.
You can also check with the bus driver, too.
If there's nothing wrong there, a check up with the dr wouldn't do any harm.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

She's becoming "dark skinned"? I don't get that.

Definitely talk to her teacher. Maybe she's being bullied.
And if the change physically is very drastic, it might be time for a trip to her pediatrician.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I dont' want to advise you not to be worried because I am not a doctor nor do I know your childs. However, when my daughter started 1st grade we had a hard transition. She was basically stressed out. For her, it was a change of schools. It was also the first time riding the bus. For many kids, it is their first full day away. There are tons of kids in the school versus a small classroom setting. There is homework. New kids different from last year. Heck, I would be stressed out too.

My daughter had trouble sleeping and some seperation anxiety. But mostly she just seemed emotional and stressed. So I think your daughter's behavior is likely similar. For us, my daughter just needed lots of reasurring and attention and quiet time. I worked with her teacher to make sure she was doing okay making friends. And after about 4 months, she was doing great. This year, she is far more comfortable and doing great. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

Is there any way you can volunteer in her classroom or make plans to eat lunch with her at school... something like this? It could help give you some insight and it's also helpful to get to know the other kids in her class. Good luck. I'm sure this is just tugging at your heart strings :-(

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