Whats Easier? Tubes Being Tied or Vasectomy (Poll Please)

Updated on March 14, 2011
A.R. asks from Rush City, MN
62 answers

I need some input on an on-going arguement between my husband and I. Im 22, and my DH is 25. We have two kids together. A son who is 22 months and a daughter who is almost a month old. My husband has always been stuck on having just 2 kids. My DD was born with a rare congenital intestinal disease, and she has already had 3 surgeries and we are still in the hospital. (hopefully getting out early next week, and her disease can be fixed with surgery, she just needs a colostomy bag for 6 months) Our risk for having another baby with our daughters same disease is anywhere between 15-20%. That kind of makes me unsure if I would want to have another baby because I dont think I could deal with our whole hospital/surgery experience again, and with that factored in DH definately does not want another baby. Anyways, my DH thinks its easier for me to have my tubes tied then it is for him to have a vasectomy. I think he is nuts. I asked my doctor about vasectomies and she said its easy, and an outpatient procedure, cheaper, and all my DH would have to do is sit around with a bag of frozen veggies on his lap for a few days. That sounds way easier than having my abdomen cut open and having an overnight stay in the hospital (we dont live near a high tech hospital) I also breastfeed so I dont want to be gone overnight and plus my dd needs round the clock care with her stoma/colostomy stuff. Are men just scared of havong their "junk" cut open? I dont get it. So what is easier, tubes or vasectomy? I will show responses to DH. I dont want an iud, and I got pregnant on birth control so I don't really want that either. TIA

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So What Happened?

Looks like Im winning this one. Thanks ladies. Now if only I can get him to actually go thru with it....

Featured Answers

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

My SO and I are no where near getting it done, but we've already decided.....
he OFFERED to get a vasectomy.
My man isn't scared, he thinks its fair because I go through pregnancy and labor and delivery. He also knows it's less invasive then a woman getting her tubes tied.
I wish you good luck with this argument, lol.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

According to vasectomy.com, vasectomies are "faster, easier, less expensive and poses much less risk of complications".

Here's the link. http://www.vasectomy.com/ArticleDetail.asp?siteid=V&A...

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R.F.

answers from Dallas on

Vasectomy. I know some women have had their tubes tied, but they had a c-section, so the doctors were 'there' regardless. Meaning - their abdomen was opened up!
My husband is getting his on Monday. I've talked to others about their recovery - one of my friend's husband was painting a room the next day, whereas you would be laid up on bed for a while.
Frozen peas all the way.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

It is WELL KNOWN that having a vasectomy is WAY EASIER than having your tubes tied. Have your husband talk to a doctor.

This annoys me to no end. You did all the work having the baby -- don't let your husband force you to go through pretty major surgery instead of his having a measly vasectomy.

Not to generalize, (but I will anyway), IMO most men don't have the fortitude of most women, and are wusses about surgery, illness, etc. That's why nature made women, not men, the givers of life. :)

Make him have the vasectomy.

5 moms found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

The real question is, what's easier, squeezing somthing the size of a watermellon out a hole the size of lemon (TWICE), or one day of discomfort?

3 moms found this helpful
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L.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Vasectomy although men whine a ton about it!!

My husband had one 14 years ago in the doctors office. The kids spent the weekend with my mother in law. We rented movies and I traded out his ice bags. He will tell you it really wasn't that big of deal! I even watched the whole thing. But I am a nurse. And I don't take a bunch of whining!!

Plus when I explained, fairly dramatically that yes, getting my tubes tied is a fairly easy procedure. . . . but it is done in the hospital and does carry greater risks. Think about taking care of 2 kids by yourself if something goes wrong and I have to stay in the hospital or worse yet. . . . ;) He saw it my way! And at the time all he had to pay was his $10 copay!! I kid you not!

Tell you husband to man up!

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

I just wanted to add, since I didn't see it covered, that getting your tubes tied can interfere with your hormones AND SEX DRIVE, triggering early menopause in some severe cases, whereas a vasectomy does not interfere with a man's hormones. Once it's done, you can't go back - that's for having babies or enjoying sex. The risks aren't all about the actual surgery.

Yes, tubals are done laproscopically these days, but I recently went through a laproscopic surgery to have my gall bladder removed - it's not as hard as being cut wide open, but it's no walk in the park, either. IT IS STILL CONSIDERED MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY, you are put under general anesthetic (not local), and recovery time can range from several days to several weeks. I agree with everyone else. You gave birth twice. It's his turn, for a change.

P.S. My husband and I aren't sure we're done having kids, but my husband has already agreed to the vasectomy for when we are. He wants to take care of me, and not to put me at unnecessary risk. Not all men are wusses about this.

3 moms found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Your husband is a wuss. Vasectomy is so much easier on the body and doesn't cause any side effects hormonally like a tubal ligation does.

Someone else already mentioned - a tubal is major abdominal surgery, many complications can happen just from the surgery. A new Mother should not be made to be away from her children because of her husband's fear of reality.

HE doesn't want more children - HE should be the one to have the quick n snip outpatient procedure.

Personally, I hope you both wait anyways... you both are so young and you never know how you will feel in 10 years. Who knows if you will even still be married in 10 years. What are you gonna do then if you decide to get a tubal, you are getting remarried and your new husband wants more children?

That scenario happens more often than you think!

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C.B.

answers from Des Moines on

I've had my tubes tied and my husband has had a vasectomy and we both agree that his vas was much easier. To me there is no comparison. A surgery that requires a local anesthetic is by far easier than one the requires a general one. Every time someone is "put under," there are serious risks. With two small children to care for, he would be very selfish to ask you to risk that when he can get his done with a general anesthetic.

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A.L.

answers from Washington DC on

My husband had a vasectomy and it was super easy (even he would say that). He had it done on a Friday and was sore over the weekend but fine to go back to work on Monday. We decided on vasectomy over tubal because vasectomy is much easier, an external procedure, and was cheaper. Also, my husband felt that since I had to have several surgical procedures in order to get pregnant that I had been through enough so he would have a vasectomy.

However, I would strongly caution you to wait. You and your husband are very young. You may change your mind and want another baby later, even after your two children are a bit older. A vasectomy may be reversible, but not always. If you have your tubes tied, then you would most likely have to have IVF to get pregnant again. If I were you, I would wait.

Check out other options. You just never know. I would wait if I were you.

Best of luck with your daughter. I hope she is well and comes home soon.

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H.S.

answers from Johnson City on

Simply put, tubal ligation is more risky and more expensive than a vasectomy. There are several health complications that can arise from a tubal ligation, and a vasectomy is a fairly simple (and reversable) procedure. There isn't any question about it in our household. After the birth of our second child in July 2011, my husband is having a vasectomy. He suggested it, and he is well aware that it carries less risk. Have your husband research both procedures, and then formulate an opinion. It seems to me that your husband is being very selfish in wanting to put you through that.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Vasectomy is the easier procedure. Outpatient and not an abdominal procedure. No question about it.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

That's major surgery vs. an in-office 15 minute procedure. No brainer. The vasectomy is waaaay "easier"!

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S.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I would also say the vasectomy....but don't always think it is easy without complications. My husband agreed to it....and went through with it. Everything went well we thought. But the swelling on one testicle never went down. It is over twice the size it should have been. He went back and dr said normal and prescribed antibiotics. It never went down and after a few months of it being way oversized (not really painful thank goodness), and an ultrasound, he has hydroceles (or something like that) where fluid is built up. He has to go for surgery to get it drained with general anestesia and there is NO guarentee it won't come back. Obviously it is uncomfortable and just plain weird (lol)!

I do thing a vasectomy is a better choice than a tubal...and I know this is NOT a common occurance, but all vasectomies are not super easy.

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

You having tubes tied is a MAJOR SURGICAL PROCEDURE with greater risks involved..It is easier for a man to say that your going to get your tubes tied I don't need a vasectomy why do they think that just becasue they are shooting blanks they are no longer capable of having sex.Your done with having kids he needs to buck up & hop in the Drs chair get his vasectomy & live happily ever after...

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A.B.

answers from Fargo on

A vasectomy is SO much easier! All they men get is two tiny little incisions where they pull out his "tubes" to snip them and then put them back in. My husband had his done when our 3rd was a couple months old. There was no way I would have been able to have my tubes tied and recover while taking care of 3 little ones (almost 4, almost 2, and 2 months). He had his surgery on a Friday and was back to work either Monday or Tuesday. If your hubby does go for his, be prepared for him to be a baby. I don't understand it, but men can be so "weak" when it comes to them being sick or hurt. :)

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M.M.

answers from Tucson on

I am pregnant with my third child and the only way i agreed to get pregnant is if he'd get a vasectomy. Baby is due in May and a few weeks after he will be getting his Vasectomy. It took a lot of badgering and begging and talking to get him to agree. I have horrible labors and if i have to be in pain for 10 plus hours he can do this for me.

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A.C.

answers from Boston on

Good luck getting insurance to cover getting your tubes tied at your age. Your in the prime of your child bearing years. Unless YOU are at risk, it will most likely be considered a cosmetic procedure. That being said, the vasectomy is the easier procedure.

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P.H.

answers from Fargo on

You are so young to be thinking about this! You should rethink the IUD. Some women don't have periods anymore with IUDs. Major plus with them! Give yourselves time to think about this and use a condom.

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am so sorry for the stress and heartache you must be going thru with a sick little baby!! That being said, this is a very stressful thing for you to have to be thinking about right now. I have an IUD (Paraguard-no hormones) for the same reason you have above, a husband that is basically afraid of getting his doo-dads cut into. I didn't push the subject with him because I knew if he had the surgery and couldn't work because of it (he is in construction) we would be up the creek w/o a paddle poor. You guys are very young too and I think guys tend to be even more immature about the vasectomy talk in their 20s than they will be even in their 30s. Its a tough call either way but I chose the IUD for the time being. Hopefully my husband and I can have the talk in a few years and he may change his mind. :)

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K.L.

answers from St. Cloud on

essure is the best! Check it you, on google. In and out and no pain what so ever!! LOVED IT!!!

J.W.

answers from Seattle on

VASECTOMY!
My husband and I went back and forth for awhile, but in the end he agreed that it would be easier for him to get a vasectomy.
Vasectomy is an out patient procedure, takes about 30 mins with time to get numb, no stitches, no scars, up walking the same day. My husband had his done on a Friday afternoon and that night we went to a birthday party. lol.
Tubal Ligation is a major surgery. They put you to sleep for it, you have longer recovery time, higher risk of complications or infections.
We have 3 kids, im 24 and my husband is 27. I am looking into getting a tubal though too, just to double the protection lol
Good Luck

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B.H.

answers from St. Cloud on

I see you've gotten a LOT of responses about the vasectomy issue. I only see a few that hit one of your biggest issues right now. You are not ready to commit to being done having kids. Last winter I had my second preemie with health issues and found out I am missing some organs myself. For months I was thinking we had to be done having babies until we really had our opinions from the professionals, brought our baby home and let her grow. Now she is over a year and we are thinking about baby #3.

My point as some others have said it- You are young, you're in a very stressful time in your life and you need to process everything before making an irreversible decision like killing your family's fertility. It very well may be that your baby heals and grows and is happy and healthy in a year and you are interested in having another. Or that same scenario and you are happy with the kids you have...either way give yourself time to cool off one major life event (or two including having her!) before jumping into another...

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L.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My ex had his vasectomy in the hospital under general anesthesia. We were told by his doctor that the clinical procedures were unreliable and the tubes could grow back together when done that way.

In the hospital, it was a more extensive surgery where they cut out a section and then cauterized the ends. That way there was no way it was going to grow back together.

So there are different ways of doing it, depending on the doctor.

Oh, and he was in extreme pain for 2 days. Could barely get out of bed.

Oh, and tubals aren't major surgery like so many are posting. It's same day surgery, like someone said they do it laproscopically and it's no more risk or pain than a vasectomy. They don't "cut you open" to do it anymore. My sister had hers and went to work the same evening!

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Hands down, no question it's easier for the guy. My husband had his a few years ago and he was knocked out because he's a big baby and even he was down for maybe a day and then back to normal.

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S.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Not sure which one is easier but my husband and I had a deal after the second baby (I had the first one by regular birth but was a high risk pregnancy), if I had to have a c-section, I would get my tubes tied, if not, he would get a vasectomy. I had another regular birth so he had to do the vasectomy. He had a night of discomfort and had to ice for a couple of days, but that was it.

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S.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

You already have a ton of responses, but I'll throw my 2 cents in. There is no question about it... a vasectomy is so much easier. It is an outpatient procedure where having your tubes tied is a major surgery for you. The only reason I had my tubes tied was because I had a c-section. My husband & I had agreed if I had a c-section I'd have my tubes tied while they were already in there & if I had a vaginal birth he would have had a vasectomy.

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J.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Sorry, this is late, I didn't see the original post.

While I was pregnant with our twins (our first and only pregnancy) we decided that this would be it, no more kids after these two.

One day in my 7th month, my husband said to me "I've been thinking. When we decide the time is right, I'll go get the vasectomy, you're more than doing your part, it's the least I can do"

Don't cha love it!!! He did get it done and after one day of taking it easy and only taking tylenol, he was tender for a couple days but back to 'normal' in just a day or two.

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S.H.

answers from Washington DC on

A vasectomy is a lot easier of a procedure. For him it would be an in office procedure, and he would go home that day. Just a few days of rest and he would be fine. A tubal is more invasive, and you would have to be put under general anesthesia, with a hospital stay. I had my tubes ties, but that was only because I had to have a c-section anyway with my last birth, so they did it during the c-section. If I didn't have the c-section, then my husband would have gotten the vasectomy.

H.*.

answers from Modesto on

Vasectomy is cheaper, easier and much more efficient without consequences like early menopause. Plus the recovery time is like overnight, where a woman is in pain for a little longer than that. Both of my husbands were fixed. It's so freeing.

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J.M.

answers from Scranton on

I had the same arguement with my DH. Even with all of the researsch saying it easier for him to go through he refused and I had my tubes tied. Yeah, well, a year and a half after having my tubal I had a hysterectomy. After my tubal I started bleeding and for that year and a half I bled most of the time. They don't know why. So there is my experience.

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C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

It IS indeed much easier procedure for a man rather than a woman. However that being said have you checked into sucess rates? Vasectomies are 94% effective whereas a tubal is 97% effective. Notice neither one is 100% we all know how to get the 100% but if you are married um I don't think neither one would be too happy. These percentages came directly from my doc when I questioned about it-not that I'm going through with it but after we are officailly "done" I wanted to know which was best. Honestly if I had the babies then the least he can do is have the snip snip but now that I know the percentages I'm kinda questioning the whole thing-maybe it would be best for me to get it done. There is always that slight percentage but most people have had sucess and with the man he has to do his part in going back to ensure he is shooting blanks. So I guess its more of a personal choice.....If I had a c-section with the very last baby then I would tell them to go ahead but if not I think the husband is going to have to have some really personal dates with some frozen veggie bags-lol!
You both are very young......you never know how you might feel when you are 32. If you are absolutely sure without a doubt nothing in the world could change your mind then go ahead and do it but you are so young.....things can happen and things can change even the way you feel..........I'm 34 about to turn 35 and I have twin girls and would like to have one more and at my age one last baby is probably all I could have unless we started right now on having quite a few more but we don't want that many combined with the financial stability involving having children so one more would be nice. Plus I just went through a miscarriage/ectopic pregnancy one that wasn't planned by any means and I don't want to go through this anytime soon again maybe in a year or two I might be ready so to do something permanent at this point would be too heartbreaking to me.

C.W.

answers from Lynchburg on

Dear Aidensmommy-

Some times a 'visual' aid can help these decisions....

A pair of manicure scissors...a crochet hook...a lighter...a needle and thread...and a pint of bourbon (or select HIS preference....) can go a LONG way!!!

*frozen veggies on hand*
(or crotch)

MUCH easier for him...

IMO

Take Care!
michele/cat

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L.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

A vasectomy would be easier that a tubal. A tubal is major surgery. I had a tubal only because I had a c-section and was already cut open, other wise my husband would have done it. Tubal have greater risks than a visectomy. I think men are very afraid of having their "junk" cut open.

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C.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

There is absolutely no poll to even be taken here...Tell your husband #1 STOP BEING A COMPLETE AND UTTER WUSS!!!! #2 Tell him to go talk to any doc and they will tell him having tubes tied is considered surgery and have many risks involved. Having the big "V" is 15 min in doc office with local anesthesia and hardly any risk involved.

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J.G.

answers from Rockford on

I didn't see the original post either. This is really kind of a backwards thing to say, but it has to do with your age. You are 22 and going through something major and stressful right now. I know your hubby says he doesn't want any more children and right now you agree with him, which is fine. Things change, and you may decide that you might want to have another baby in a few years. Both having your tubes tied and a vasectomy can be reversed, but no reversal will work 100%, which is only a problem for someone who had their tubes tied. If a woman has her tubal reversed she has an extremely high risk of having an ectopic pregnancy due to scar tissue which is both dangerous and heartbreaking, however if a man has his vasectomy reversed and he isn't completely clear he is just "less fertile".

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J.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

For some objective comparison of risks from an extremely reliable source:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/tubal-ligation/MY01000/D...

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/tubal-ligation/MY01000/D...

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vasectomy/MY00483/DSECTI...

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vasectomy/MY00483/DSECTI...

Talk to your OB, and have your husband find a good urologist for a consult. Then you can make an informed decision.

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M.V.

answers from New York on

You are only 22! And you have been through an awful lot this last month...and you said you were unsure whether or not you might want another baby. I would encourage you and hubby not to rush into anything...to really give your lives some time to settle! I don't think a decision like that should be made while you're still in crisis mode. Just my opinion.
That being said, I'm pretty sure a vasectomy is way easier than a tubal ligation!

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

A vasectomy is MUCH easier, and especially if he's the one that is sure he's done- it should be his responsibility to make sure the two of you don't have any more. Vasectomies are more easily reversible, also, so if you change your minds later, he has that option, and there's always adoption, too.

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L.W.

answers from Kokomo on

I just saw your post. I had what is called esure (I think that is the spelling) where they put springs in the flopian tubes (the size like what is on a ball point pen). then your tissue or scar tissue grows into the springs. You do need to go back to the dr about 6 weeks later (if I can remember correctly) and have a die shot up into your tubes to make sure that it is blocked and can not travel all the way up. It was done as an out patient surgery. My dr. believed in putting women under who go through this. It is non reversable so you do have to make sure that you do not want any more kids. I did not have too many problems afterwards. I did too much the day after and was in pain on day three because of it. You do need to use some form of protection until you go back in for the die test to make sure that the tubes are all closed up. they take x rays after putting the die up you.

Just somethig else for you to think about.

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S.H.

answers from Lincoln on

Twenty-two is young, many doctors won't even perform a tubal ligation at that age. You may not have that option at all as many doctors don't want to deal with the possible legal (think lawsuits) ramifications. You say you are not sure if your want another baby, so by your own words you are not sure if you are ready for a surgery that will make that 100% impossible.

IMO if your sweety is not ready for an fairly simple outpatient surgery then you are both too young to make this decision. I would just say no to the tubal ligation surgery and let him figure the rest out on his own - let him solve the problem. Tell him you will support any decision he makes regarding his surgery and move on.

J.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

easier for the man, google it, there is a non surgery/ no cutting technique and my dh will be getting it soon. its reportedly pretty painless. MUCH different story for you to be done.....

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A.R.

answers from Omaha on

We haven't done either yet. My husband 100% refuses to get a vasectomy, so it looks like I will be getting my tubes tied. I'm ok with that. I actually am going to see if my doctor will do it postpartum, so I can recover from both at once. I have been doing alot of research lately. So here is what I have found so far. Vas. are definatly easier and definate easier recovery. Getting your tubes tied (even not immediatly post partum) is usually done through 2 small insicions, not getting your abdomen cut open. Also, everything that I have read says that there is no hospital stay afterwards. It is a longer recovery period though. Most of it done at home though.
In our family geting the tubes tied worked better. This may have been more of a fluke, and whatever's going to happen is going to happen, but my brother in law got a vas. and they went on to have 2 more kids. After that my sister in law ended up getting her tubes tied anyway. Good luck in your decision.

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S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would not get your tubes tied. You are very young and I'm willing to bet you won't find a dr. to do it anyways. I'd have DH wait too, you both are young and very well might feel completely differently in a few years time and decide to have another one. If 5 yrs or so from now you're still good with 2, have him get the vas. I've heard it's an easy procedure (much easier than tubal ligation) and the recovery is only a few days. My hubby will be getting this done later this year (we are for sure done with 3 kids) and it was never a question of who was having it done...I've had 3 kids and it's his turn.:) Good luck with everything!

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J.M.

answers from Duluth on

Vasectomy much easier, but this is a decision that should wait for about 15 years. I had tubes tied when I was 33, thought I would be married to same guy forever. WRONG!! Remarried to great guy and very much wanted to have his baby. Much easier to reverse vasectomy if that happens. Real men are willing to have vasectomies!!!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

My husband was in and out in 20 minutes. He had it done on Friday and went to work on Monday with no problem. He was a little uncomfortable for about 3 days, but nothing that kept him from doing his normal activities!

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L.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

Absolutely the vasectomy is the easier, safer way to go!!! My hubby had one on a Friday afternoon in the Dr's office. They gave him Lorazepam to take before coming in and by the time he was laying down it had kicked in. I was in the room during the procedure and I can tell you he felt nothing! In fact, he was cracking jokes during the procedure. When we came home he slept the rest of the night from the Lorazepam, but he felt good enough the next morning to..; )... He really didn't have any discomfort at all and once the Lorazepam was out of his system he was completely back to normal! MUCH easier for a guy!!! I don't think he would ever have expected me to get a tubal, I wouldn't have anyways.

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E.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

Like the others have said, a vasectomy. My husband had one after having two kids....ten years later, he had a reversal and we are blessed with another baby. (I don't think we could have this beautiful baby if I would have had my tubes tied). Now we are done, so poor guy is likely going to have to go get snipped again...pretty soon, he'll be able to do it himself!

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H.G.

answers from Portland on

Why don't you have your husband ask a Urologist or any doctor what is easier & safer. I already know the doctor will say Vasectomy. However this way your husband hears it from a doctor. You may have a hard time getting a permanent procedure done because of your age, however he won't, he is old enough.

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N.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

After about 10 years of me being on birth control and 2 kids later (they were planned) I told my husband birth control was up to him. He wasn't going to "get any" unless he was protected, one way or another. He used condoms for about a year and then had enough and found a Dr and set up an appointment for himself. He was out drinking a beer and playing croquet at the neighbors house at 10pm that same night.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

He's completely wrong, and so many men are such babies about this! Remind him that you've gone through two LONG pregnancies AND capped each of them off with childbirth - comparatively a vasectomy is a walk in the park (like comparing having a tooth pulled with open heart surgery). Tell him to man up, because it's really no big deal. My husband had one last summer -and it's been great! He was sore for a few days and that's it. It took 15 minutes on a Friday and then we went to lunch. He was back at work on Monday.

With tubals (which are FAR more expensive unless you're the lucky carriers of rare insurance that covers both 100%) you can expect around 4 or 5 days of downtime, you have to go in for anesthesia and there's a higher failure rate than with a vasectomy.

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T.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Vasectomy. It's not even close. Plus, in my opinion, you did your part by birthing the babies. Now it's his turn! :-) But.... I would really suggest you don't make such a permanant decision at your young age. Good luck.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

I do not think now is the time to make a decision like that. You are young
and may regret it later. Please wait until things in your life settle down
before you decide. There are so many good birth control methods out
there. Many doctors will not tie tubes or do a vasectomy on such young
people. Good luck and I hope your little one comes home soon.

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A.N.

answers from Madison on

Yes, vasectomy is much less risky, less expensive, and overall the better choice, IMO, and this info (obviously, since you've talked to your doctor) backed up by medical professionals. Also, just MHO, but I think your husband is being selfish and, frankly, a baby. He needs to man-up. Good luck!

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R.P.

answers from Chicago on

Our hospital made the decision for us. Apparently many hospitals (at least in our area) will no longer perform tubal ligations. It was indicated that the efficacy goes down over the years & I guess people were trying to hold the hospital accountable for pregnancies incurred afterward. Anyway, we ended up going with Essure.

DH said he would still do the vasectomy, but now instead of the hospital not performing the surgery, our new insurance doesn't cover it. *SMH*. So, Essure it is.

It was a pretty simple process, just not one that I'd want to go through again. It was moderately uncomfortable but I think it took less than 15 minutes and I was able to return to work the next day. Total recovery was about a week- you basically have a pretty significant period with all the regular symptoms (just heightened a little). Feel free to send me a private mssg if you have more questions.

Hope this helps!

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M.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had a tubal, it was done laproscopically simple in and out procedure, I was back to classes the next day. Hubby pampered me for the day even though I kept telling him to go back to work (he is self employed construction worker), my PCA was over (my sister) and she was taking care of the kids for me so after an hour of telling him I was fine which I was (those lovely pain pills, but I never really felt any pain). I was back to my normal self the next day.

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L.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have to add to your points.... a vasectomy is wayyyyyy easier than a tubal any day!! Ok well maybe not on his manly pride, but in all other aspects its easier = )

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A.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had to laugh because hubby and I had the same discussion. I had vaginal births for my first two, and I told him if I had to go thru carrying the babies and giving birth, the least he could do was get nipped. While I was pregnant with my 3rd, he got the vasectomy. It wasn't that bad. Dr gave him a vicodin to take on way to office...lol! Then he spent the weekend on the couch sleeping (pain pills were prescribed) with ice packs. It wasn't a big deal at all.
Due to complications, I ended up having a csection. I told him if I had known I would be cut open I would have had my tubes tied. Lol! I have been told by many (drs, women who have had tubes, and men who are honest about vasectomies) that it is much easier on the men. Best of luck convincing hubby though!!!!

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

The getting him to go through with it is the issue. My husband said he was fine with it - no issues or anything, but never actually made the appt and had it done. Eight years later (we were using other birth control) guess what - unexpected present! I was 36 - I had the tubes tied on the delivery table. The only issue was they had to give me the epidural - my babies came to quick for 1 before hand! That being said, 22 is really young to be making such a permanent decision. You should give it a lot of thought and be really sure.

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H.P.

answers from Springfield on

LOL!! You got quite the responses here, didn't you!!?? Here's my vote: VASECTOMY. It's less invasive, in-patient (he's out of there after 30 minutes with a bag of frozen peas on his crotch), and the recovery time is NIL compared to the highly invasive tubes-tied procedure. Now, with that said, I lost this contest with my WEAK husband (has no tolerance for pain, apparently, no matter how small) and had my tubes tied on the operating table after a c-section with what I said would be my last child. So, what's done is done. However, I REALLY REALLY REALLY wish he had done it instead of putting me through something so invasive. I don't like messing with mother nature when it comes to women and our parts. Men's parts are a whole lot simpler. It should be their responsibility.

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A.Y.

answers from Detroit on

i talked to my obgyn and we agreed that the Essure procedure was my best bet. it was quick, simple, easier than even a vasectomy and permanent. best thing ever!

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

I don't know from personal experience because neither my husband or I have discussed these procedures for ourselves. However, my dad had a vasectomy and my mom's obgyn always told her it was the best thing a husband can do for his wife because his procedure is much more simple, recovery is minimal and my mom wouldn't have to worry about hormone injections or anything of that nature. I also have heard that vasectomies can be reversed whereas a women's procedure cannot. Good luck with your decision!
A.

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