Whats Appropriate for a Baby Shower

I have a dear friend who has made my 2 baby showers a dream.
she walks in with a "mommy to be" basket. It's filled with massage oils, slippers, warm fuzzy socks, bath oils, a fuzzy warm robe...etc and gives me this each time I've had a child. We all know that the expected mother gets everything and then some for their baby showers. Sometimes 2 or 3 of the same thing.
How many of you would want to be papmered for the day?

You could have a "diaper" shower which is what my friend just did. They got diapers in all different sizes and brands and the stuff to go with diapering - wipes and cream. There was some kind of game with diapers/diapering too that I don't remember what it was.

Hello! I did attend a baby shower that on the invite it said "so and so are registered at blah blah and FYI they have received quite a bit of clothes already." This worked as the mom-to-be did not receive any clothes at all. Hope that helps.

-Steph

I registered and over half the people ignored what I registered for--some well-meaning friends bought things that were the indispensible items for them, while others just wanted to buy what they wanted to buy. I don't think it's rude to put right on the invitation that baby has TONS of clothes already, but really needs X other items. One friend's mother actually hosted specifically a BOOK shower, where everyone was requested to bring their favorite children's book as a gift. People still may not listen, but I think it's fair to request non-clothing gifts. Just be prepared for the clothes or non-requested items that will inevitably show up. :)

Hey J.,
I don't see a problem with just being honest. You're the hostess. Call it a "No-clothes" shower for the fun of it and send out a list of suggested gifts, letting them know she's got enough clothing already. Another idea (one from a shower I recently attended) is to ask people to just make a gift of a certain amount of money towards a gift card or two.
Good luck!
L. A. =0)

She is going to get clothes no matter what! If people ask you let them know that she has a tone of clothes and maybe they should think of something else. For a theme, find out what she is doing the nursery in and what colors and add a little note to the invite letting people know that this is what she is doing and so on. Plus you can always help her take back the clothes and get what she really wants. For me exchanging things was the most fun.

First of all I LOVE baby showers, they are so fun. When you send out the invitations just put down... So and So's dresser is over flowing with clothes , or So and So was so blessed to have a friend pass down tons of clothing...Anything and everything else would be appreciated. You can also have people (if most of them are moms already) bring their favorite baby items, that one's always fun and interesting. She probably will get a few pieces of clothing, and that's ok, even though you get lots of hand me downs, it still nice to have a few things that are yours and yours alone.
I hope this helps,
W.

I have been to baby showers where they are called "Essential Showers" where you are to buy the essential items, ie, diapers, wipes, bath stuff, bottles, things you could not lie without day to day. It was a total hit, with just a fraction of the items being clothes. You could also just politely write a cute little poem or something saying that she has been blessed with a large amount of clothes and we want to bless her and the new baby in other ways. I hope this helps! Good Luck!

Let people know on the invite that you know she needs a stroller, crib, car seat or whatever big gift she might need and that if everyone contributed $$$ they could all go together to get that gift, that way she might not get so many clothes. K.

I would just write on the invitation that she has already been blessed with clothing, but other items would be greatly appreciated. You could maybe make a small poem or something. I don't think anybody would be offended by something be said. I would want to get something that she needs.

A lot of times people are very responsive if you tell them in advance (either on the invitation or a phone call) what you are planning. Especially since it is YOU that's throwing it, and not the mom, it is totally appropriate for you to direct people in gifts. Not everyone listens, of course, but alot of them will. You can even ask certain people to "go in" on any big items that this first time mom needs. Most people really do want to get something that is needed.

A theme would be a good idea.
I know some for a second baby have done a book and diaper party. It at least gives guidance on what to buy. Or play with the idea/theme of Let's decorate the nursery (depending on what they've purchased themselves)

I would just make a list of the basic things she needs and send it out to everyone.

I vote for doing a theme! Books and puzzles. Can't have too many of either. And I don't think it would be inappropriate to say say that she doesn't need clothes.

Try a "Bear Necessities" theme. You can specify that for the shower you are trying to help your friend collect more of the necessities such as diapers, wipes, etc. Just an idea :) good luck.

My friends gave me a shower where everyone brought their favorite childhood book and all went in and bought us a radio flier wagon. I loved this idea!!! as my partner and I both didn't really want gifts and didn't want any baby gagets. We also used cloth diapers and breastfed--so buying us disposable diapers or formula wouldn't have been practical. I love having books from all our dear friends--it's funny to read one to our son and see a friend's personality shining through.

My sister in law had a theme at her shower because she had already gotten a lot of other stuff so she didn't need much. They decided to do a book theme. Everyone buy one of their favorite kid books and write a little something in the front to the new baby and why you chose that book. Undoubtedly she will get some outfits and cutesy things because who on earth can resist those things :) But maybe this will help cut down on them. You could also maybe do a theme of a "think outside the box" baby shower. Meaning don't get typical baby shower items but unusual and unique items. I make custom nursery wall letters that go over really big and baby showers because they are something very unique and not another toy or outfit that blends in with the rest of the gifts...they stand out and are remembered adoringly. Hope this helps.

I had a "problem" like this at my baby shower, in my case, I didn't know I was going to have one and then the church surprised me with one and asked if I had any special requests. I had already done a lot of shopping so I suggested no small clothing. They put on the invitation "no clothes smaller than 12 months please" and that's what I got, along with blankets and other baby stuff. No one seemed put off or anything and the baby shower was beautiful. As a matter of fact, they are throwing me another one this month since my toddler is now 17 months old and I am having another baby in May. This time, I registered and I plan to put the same "disclaimer" on the invitation.

I had a similar situation. I'm an Independent Consultant for Arbonne, and we have a baby care line. So, I didn't need anyone to buy lotion, diaper rash creme, baby wash, or anything of that sort. The women who hosted my baby showers just wrote a nice note saying "S. is registered at Babies R Us. As an Arbonne Consultant, S. will be using all Arbonne products for baby's skin. So, please no baby skin products." It worked quite well. I didn't receive any such products. Maybe you could word it something similar.Good luck! :-) Hope it goes well!

I don't know about etiquette, but my for one of my baby showers my friends seems to like the fact that I told them I really only needed diapers and wipes and I just wanted them to come over and have some food and fun!

We had a blast!

J.

You can absolutely suggest "no clothing" for a baby shower. A Round the Clock shower always works well - assign a time to each guest and they buy an appropriate gift for that time . I believe on the invitation for my shower, since I was in the process of moving -friends put a little note saying In lieu of gifts (since we are moving), Gift cards are appreciated . You can come up with something clever !

Hi J.:

I know from my own experience when invited to a baby shower that I personnally LOVE it when on the invite the hostess has put a note like..clothes already provided..suggestion for gifts lean toward 'big ticket' items suggest group gifts or gift cards to cover the 'real needs'. Need more hints or suggestions call .......

These kind of invites really take me off the hook because I want to give something that will be 'really useful' If there is nothing like this on the invite then I usually go for bath items and ask if cloth diapers are preferred. Then get a pkg of cloth diapers "which are good for burp pads too!' and a pkg of disposables. My oldest daughter just had twins in Dec and the number of diapers she goes thru is AMAZING.

Good luck to you and your friend.

S.

As far as themes, I have been to showers that have a "Diaper raffle" where you get to put your name in a hat for every package of diapers you bring. Diapers are obviously a necessity. You could also do a library theme and ask everyone to bring a book. Just some ideas. Good luck.

How about a theme focused on making mom's life easier? Ask people to look for gifts that they felt were life savers when their first was born, or you could ask people if they want to contribute to one larger gift, like a travel system. I ended up with lots of clothes for my first-born, and really appreciated the gifts that people said were their babies favorites or made their lives much easier.

Hmmm - so a gift is a gift. The giver makes that choice and I do not think that proper etiquette would approve of 'asking people not to buy clothes.'
But - you can create a baby registery say at Target or Babies R Us and let people know that your friend has a registery and where it is. People do want to buy things that are helpful - but it isnt proper to direct them what 'not' to buy.
If anything the items she receives that are not useful can always be returned and replaced with something that is. Once the gift is given - it is up to the receiver to put it to whatever use they want.

Hi J.,
I can't see the other moms' replies as I write this, so I'm sorry if it is redundant.

I've always found that being straight up and honest is the best way to go. Maybe a little blurb at the bottom of the invitation that says something along the lines of "Baby's name here has been blessed with many beautiful clothes and is sure to be the best dressed baby until he makes it to size blabla! If you wish to purrchase clothing, please buy that size or larger. Mama's name here is registered at blabla. You can also contact me for further suggestions."

There may be a more tactful way of hinting, but I've found hinting doesn't always get noticed, intentionally or un.

I own a children's, maternity, and teen/women's resale and consignment store and I'm asked similar questions all the time. Through personal and professional experience, I've found that people do NOT mind you letting them know that she's "already covered on clothing but still needs x y and z". If you're including an R.S.V.P., you might suggest when they call that they could team up with a few others that have confirmed their intent to attend to purchase one of the larger items on her registry (crib, swing, bassinet, etc).

That being said, some people will still buy outfits. I go to many baby showers and there's just something about clothing for babies that draws us ladies, even though we know they probably don't need one more sleeper, onesie, or dress.

A polite "just to let you know" insert in the invitation and the same polite reminder when they R.S.V.P. is about all you can do, but I'm sure people will get the hint.

Best of Luck,
T.
Owner, Born Again Resale & Consignment
http://www.bornagainresale.net

I am not sure how well you know the people coming to the shower. . .But at my shower I got enough clothes to clothe my son up to 24 monthhs! People were awesome about not buying me all the smaller sizes. So when his birthday rolled around I just told people he had enough clothes and if they wanted to get him clothes please buy bigger than 24 months. And most people asked me for the shower and birthday what I needed and wanted. I wouldn't think anyone should take offense. So what most peolpe got him was toys or other necess and maybe a cute graphic tee or a blanket. I think people would feel worse if they got her unecessary items that had to be returned. But I know what you mean, everyone wants to buy the cutest clothes. Mom always said honesty ws the best policy. No one needs to know why, what, where, just she doesn't need. Good Luck! And have FUN!
S.

Hi J....why not make the theme "your favorite baby gear item." Then just go on to say something like "show Susie the one item she can't live without." You could list examples too if you want "binky leash" "pre-measurered formula container" etc. That should get people focused in the right direction. Some people will still probably buy clothes because they're so darn cute but at least it's worth a try.

L.

"We've got baby covered from his head to his feet, now all we need is stuff for him to sleep, play, and eat!" I think that line is the answer to your problem.....its cute and catchy and would make a wonderful invitation. There will be some that don't listen but most will if its put in such a catchy little ryhme.
GOOD LUCK!

The best gift I ever received from the baby shower was diapers! I got enough diapers to last the first 5-6 weeks of my sons life and it was extremely helpful to not have to worry about diapers while I was still healing and dad was working all day.

You have gotten a lot of responses and I'm hoping that I am not repeating what someone else has already said. An idea for a themed shower could be-on a few invitations you write a different theme like "Bath Time," "Feeding Time," "Play Time," etc. I'm sure you get the idea. That way she's less likely to get duplicates and you will have covered a lot of the basics.

Just an idea.

~T.

I have recieved invites that say that if I want to go in on a large gift with others to call. This way the new mother could receive a crib or another large gift that was needed rather than a lot of clothes that are not needed. I don't know what else to say...you could do a diaper party, but that does really narrow it down. Maybe you could put "diapers or registry items would be most appritiated." The other thing to consider is that most people include gift recipts now, so she could always return the clothes that she doesn't need in order to get the items she does need.

Just say for the woman that dont know what to get her. We just want to let you know she has many of clothes already and doesnt need that really. Diapers/formula/toys/furniture as we all know is a must.

I did that for my baby shower...on my invitations at the bottom I put registered at and then below that in nice italic print but smaller stated 'no clothes please' I did not have anyone that got offended by that statement and if someone asked I just told them that I had plenty of clothes and there are so many other things I needed off my registry. There is nothing wrong with being specific after all it is for the expecting mother.

Hi J.! Funny you post about this because I am having a shower for my sister in law and both myself and her sister just had boys and she has sooo many clothes and does not want anymore.
I was going to think of a little rhyme to put at the bottom of the invitation or you could have a bath theme baby shower or another theme like that. Its funny because I was given so many baby clothes and you never know when they will fit into them. :) My son is BIG and never wore 0-3 months or maybe for a week... Anyways Hmmm I am trying to think of a little rhyme. "Mommy says closet is already FULL so please no more clothes until I grow" :) ~K.

I would turn it into something catchy on the invitation, like "we have plenty of clothing but nothing else, anything else you give us helps!" Or "we have nothing but a bunch of clothes, and baby can't subsist on those!", "Our baby is set to be very well dressed, now what we need is all the rest!", "We've got baby covered from his head to his feet, now all we need is stuff for him to sleep, play, and eat!"

People love to buy baby clothes however, I just had my second girl and everyone knew I had saved all the clothes, so I was surprised to get more. I exchanged some of it, kept what I wanted, or consigned/gave away the rest. And I for one will only buy off someone's registry or get them a really useful gift that is not sold at the place they registered, something I found that really helped or was something they might not know about without the experience!

One thing I've heard of is doing a book party where guests bring a book for the child's library, which is a good idea if they have or are able to buy all the other necessities.

Good luck!

I would just put that on the invitation: "She doesn't need any baby clothes, but other needs are listed on her registries at Target, Babies R Us " (or wherever she is registered). Most people really want to get something useful, so even though picking out baby clothes is more fun, they would surely rather get something she needs. I can't see how anyone would be offended by knowing the truth.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just host your shower, and if she ends up getting outfits, she will probably be able to return them. I think with that type of situation where people are coming to give gifts, it's better not to give specifics, unless of course you are doing a themed shower. You could always do a diaper shower, or bathtime themed shower, and list the items on the invitation....like shampoo etc... Hope it works out for you!

I think the way you described it in your request is perfect. Just print on the invitation, "She has been so blessed with clothes for this baby that gifts of other items are appreciated." or "She has been so blessed with clothes, that her greatest need lies in items other than clothes." No matter what you say or do, people will still get her what they want to get and sometimes that really cute outfit is just too hard to pass up! She can always save the gift receipts/tags and exchange them, too. That's a lot more work, but if she does it prior to the baby coming, it won't be so bad. People love suggestions, so the more information you give them the easier it is to shop . . .

I would maybe personalize each invitation with a age range (0-3 months, 3-6 months, etc....) to focus on...something the baby could use for that age (even put no clothes), but toys, diapers, books, food (cereal, jarred food?). I've been to bridal showers where each person is asked to focus on a room of the house, so you know something like that. Good luck.

I know from my personal experience that baby showers for boys don't turn out the same clothing levels as girls. I have a little boy, but we didn't find out the sex so that helped with not getting too much clothing. One thing she can do is take all the clothes she gets from the shower and donate them to another expecting Mom and pass it on just like her friend did for her. Anyway, you could put on the invitation suggestions for gifts. The way I have done this in the past is add a little insert to the invite that says..."mom to be(put your friends name) has registered @ (insert store name)and is requesting to keep clothing to a minimum or pacifiers to a minimum..." (basically whatever is being requested at a minimum level) and then you can add if you have any questions feel free to call and then leave your number. You could also do a theme and send out each invitation with a theme...so do 3 invites for bath time...3 invites for bed time, 3 invites for play time...I think you get it now. And you could do them different and make it so it fits your group of friends and the other people that will be at the shower. Just a few suggestions, good luck and have fun!

I have been to several baby showers where the host specifically wrote on the invitation that the 'mom' has been blessed with all the clothes she will need for the next year (or few years). They suggested other things like "the parents would welcome any other gifts such as toys, books, or what is on their registry, etc.). It always came across tackfully and never seemed to offend anyone. There will always be someone who can't resist the temptation of the the cute little outfit but at least you can set the tone. Hope this helps!

I have been to many baby showers in the last two years and have learned a lot. The best thing for the clothes is just spread by word of mouth that she has a source for all clothing. Suggestions for other items are shoes, slippers, BATH TOYS which are always good for all ages. Take and toss sippy cups are priceless. Formula/snack dispensers are always good.I have tons of ideas but I need to finish my homework and go to bed. If you need any other ideas go ahead and message me.
L. H.

J.,

You've gotten some great advice already. My first thought while reading your post was diapers/formula. I agree with putting in a small polite/catchy line about not really needing more clothes, but stuff would be appreciated.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

I hosted a "baby book" shower and it was fabulous. The expecting parents received a shelf full of wonderful books. Many of the guests read from their favorite children's book during the gift giving.

Friends of ours gave us a "baby supply" shower. It was awesome! I received tons of diapers, soaps, bottles, wipes, etc.

Have fun!

I'm glad you are thinking about this, J.. All I seemed to get at my baby shower were clothes...and I really wanted the practical stuff I registered for! I realize it's because clothes are so adorable, and there's not much cuteness in a baby bottle.
Anyhow, for my niece I put together a basket themed "My Favorite Things" with each gift individually wrapped and a little poem or limerick of why I liked it. Little stuff like stacking cups, really soft washcloths, my favorite baby shampoo...
If the women invited are already moms, have them think back to what they wish they'd had on hand or what they considered "lifesavers" HEY, that's one theme an idea, or how about "if only I'd known sooner" or or "my baby's favorite _____"
You could also just call the guests individually call each guest and gently suggest the mom would really appreciate what she registered for.

Simply put on the invitations No clothes please she has this cover by a friend who is giving her all she needs and wishes help were she needs it in other areas. If they must buy clothes please include the reciept (so she can return it if she wants to.) Or just be blunt No clothing, No exceptions!! Gift cards where she is registered are always good. Do make sure to put this on the invitations so people will read it otherwise she will end up with lots of clothes she doesn't want.

Hi J.,
Here are some ideas for themes. Layette (lets decorate babies room!) Bathtime, A Day at the Park, Traveling Baby (do they travel or go camping), Playtime, Learning to Play (play/learning toys). Hope some of these are helpful! Good luck and have fun!
J.

Katelyn's idea was great. I once hosted a wedding shower like this where everyone was assigned a room in the house. That way the bride and groom (it was a couple's shower) did not end up with too many kitchen items and then nothing for the rest of the house. All of the guest responded wonderfully. The idea would be the same for a baby shower. Any attending who are moms already will understand and know from experience you almost always end up with way too much of one particular item.

I personally would not be offended if my invite said something to the effect that my friend didn't need clothes. I usually go off of the registry anyhow and sometimes buy things that I know that I needed that you don't normally think of. And try to do a care package for mommy too. A baby shower is to help your friends in need. If clothes are not a need, but diapers and wipes are. So be it.

Hi J.,

Too funny, I am in the same situation. I am due next month and already have an entire closet filled front to back with clothes. I have three close friends with babies ranging from 7 months to 2 weeks old. I have gotten a TON of hand me downs all in awesome condition. First off I took ALL the clothes off my registry, then my best friend who is throwing the shower simply wrote on the invitation that "Baby Isabella" has a wardrobe fit for a queen already!

Hi J.! I would have to agree with you about this website. A friend also sent it to me and it's been great, very helpful. I was just thinking of ideas for the shower and it's seems kinda difficult to narrow it down to a theme without illuminating things that she really needs. So, I was thinking to included in the invitation a small card that tells the sweet story about how she was so blessed to recieve these clothes from a very good friend and that it would be appreciated to recieve other items that the baby will need to be healthy and happy. I bet majority of the women who are attending the shower are mothers and totally would understand that. Good luck and have fun!! And throw the best shower ever!

i went to a bridal shower and the theme was "rooms in the house". we had to buy things for that particular room. i also went to one that had "times of day" as the theme. you can could apply either one to a baby shower. assign the bathroom and they could do anything from diaper stuff to bath tub stuff. or, i had a friend that had a drawing at her baby shower and if you brought a thing of disposable diapers as your present, you got to be put in the drawing and you could win fun prizes. good luck, i'm sure you'll do a great job.

My friend put on my invitation: "The baby's closet is already overflowing with clothes, so please shower J. with practical items, books or toys."

One of the showers thrown for me was a book shower -- Everyone was asked to bring give me their favorite children's book. some people also gave something else (like clothes, blankets etc) but I ended up with a wonderful library for my children.

If you havn't sent out invitations yet I would put on the bottom next to the place of registery, No clothes needed, thank you.
Example: She is registered at Babies R Us, No thoses needed, thank you!

for babyshowers these days, in my group of friends, we bring wishes, like patience, wisdom, courage whatever feels right, for the person those wishes are sometimes given on paper, or symbolized in a small article of little material value. The baby shower even is used for total focus on pampering mom, foot massage, remembering her good qualities, saying how she is special to us, what she means to us, from a simple you look beautiful to you are an inspiration to me anything that makes the mom see the event as her day. We often make a flower crown for the mom, she can have it as a keepsake later on. Sometimes we make beads that embody our wishes and she has the necklace to remember the day. these are some ideas.

J. (mom, grand-ma, midwife)

Before my son was born, I had a TON of clothing (as in, enough items to clothe him for the first year of his life). My best friend simply put on the invitations that I had been blessed to receive more than enough clothing for the baby, so to please buy other items. Nobody was offended by this. When I hosted my sister's baby shower, it was the same way, and she only received a couple of outfits. I don't think there's anything wrong with being honest about it. You will always have the people who can't resist buying the cute baby outfits, but the majority will respect your wishes and buy other items.

When my second daughter was born, I didn't really need, or want very many clothes. In the invitation, my sister put a cute insert that read something like, "Sarah has been blessed with plenty of clothes, thanks to her generous older sister, Hailey. If you should choose to bring a gift, the basics would be great! Diapers and wipes would be awesome. Anyone who brings a package of diapers or wipes will be entered into a drawing for a $30 Starbucks gift card. T. is also registered at Babies R Us. Thank you to her awesome friends who love her so much. Can't wait to see you!"

It worked out great. No one was offended at all and I got enough diapers and wipes to last me for the first 6 months. Also, everyone was looking forward to the drawing and cheered for the person who won. It was really fun. I still got some clothes, but not nearly as many as I would have. Hope that helps! God bless you.

I don't think asking folks to a baby shower and then telling them what to bring is appropriate. Little ones go through all kinds of onesies and tee shirts etc. . . and what your friend does not use. . .she can pass along to others, just as she was blessed!

I also was very blessed to receive hand-me-downs, from three families actually, and have WAY too many clothes. Although all my friends and family knew I absolutely didn't need any more clothing, it just didn't matter. People like to buy baby clothes (even if they never get worn). What we did was added a little comment that said something like "Clothes are in abundance, Diapers are not :(" and then we had a diaper tree (not the right name, but can't think of it). Everyone that brought a pack of diapers (any size) got their name entered into a drawing for an Olive Garden gift certificate. My son is 17 weeks and I still have not had to buy diapers. In fact, I had three extra packs of ones and a huge box of twos.

I would maybe tell them if you are going to buy clothes as a present get them in a larger size that will be season appropriate when the baby will be able to wear them. you can also suggest to please buy off the regestry or just buy diapers or a gift card so that the mom can buy the things that she doesnt get from the shower.

I'd put it right into the invitation. When I am looking to buy a gift for someone I definitely want to buy them something they need or would like and I DON'T want to buy anything they don't want or need. I'd love tips or pointers. If there are suggested items, I would love to see that. (Perhaps something like: We would be especially grateful for size 2 Huggies diapers, etc.)