What You Wish You Had Known About Being Pregnant...

Things I wish I'd known the first time I was pregnant:

Labor doesn't have to hurt.
(used Hypnobabies birth method for my third, and my labor didn't hurt, it was great)http://hypnobabies.com/mylink.php?id=3815

I wish I'd known that "happy baby = happy mommy" instead of struggling to live up to the popular idea that "happy mommy = happy baby".

Medical professionals aren't always correct and it is ok to say no to them.
(small example - they told me my second baby would be 7lb by ultrasound measurements, he was only 5lb - I knew he was small but didn't stand up for myself like I should have :( )

I wish I had known that my baby sleeping at the nurses station instead of in my hosp.room was being left too long & lost weight from missing feedings. (nurses say you need to rest and so they don't wake the baby to breastfeed, but they don't realize the simple fact that you can bf the baby while dozing yourself and it doesn't wake you up much)

A baby doesn't cry for no reason. There's nothing in them they need to 'cry out'. After three kids I have realized, there has never been a time one of them cried that they didn't have a reason. Sometimes I couldn't figure it out but that didn't mean it wasn't there.

When I was fed up with lack of sleep, I wish I'd realized I could nurse the baby lying on my side and *wow, newsflash* SLEEP while the baby feeds! What a great discovery I finally figured out with my third, hee hee.

I wish I'd known about www.kellymom.com before I started hearing all kinds of "advice" about breastfeeding.

I wish I'd read this article before my first labor ever started, it would have saved me a lot of stress and worry. http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/pelvis.asp

I wish I'd realized that my OB was working for me, like an employee, and he wasn't my boss. I ended up letting him make some choices that should have been mine to make, but he didn't tell me that, he just told me what he wanted me to do. So If you feel dissatisfied with your care or the fit just isn't clicking, look for someone else. They have a profound effect on your birth - a day you will always remember, but they will easily forget. It's important to have a care provider that is on the same page as you & it is very much worth the hassle of switching.

oh, how I wish I had gotten this book before my first. http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Womans-Guide-Better-Birth/...

Congrats and best of luck to you!

7 moms found this helpful

Hi J.,

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you have an uneventful, healthy pregnancy and can enjoy this journey to motherhood.

I've read through most of the responses and you've gotten lots of feedback. I wanted to add a few other things that I feel you will find helpful.

1. Let your instincts guide you!

2. Know whay you want and don't settle for anything less. Think about your beliefs, your vision of this birth, your support team, what does it look like to you & seek those providers that will help you achieve that goal. A woman who is supported in labor has a more fulfilling and empowering birth experience than one who isn't.

3. Don't listen to everything your doctor tells you. Doctors are great at "scaremongering" and telling one sided stories. Some doctors/care providers have a hidden agenda.

4. Read as much as you want & can about pregnancy, birth, babies, vaccines, etc. KNOWLEDGE is POWER and you will be able to make informed decisions while you're on this journey. I personally recommend the books The Thinking Woman's Guide to A Better Pregnancy, by Henci Goer; The Baby Book, The Birth Book, The Pregnancy Book are a few by Dr. Sears; Ina May's Guide To Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin; to name a few. This link is for a yahoo group where the members read various birth related books and discuss them. There is a wealth of information here. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/childbirthreadingroom/

5. Know you have choices. Decide if you want a hospital, free-standing birthing center or home birth. Seek the providers that will support your pregnancy and birth choices. Rent The Business of Being Born. http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/

6. Hire a Doula for emotional & physical support during your labor, birth and post-partum. Doulas are trained/certified through ALACE, DONA, ICEA, CAPPA or independently, to name a few of the organizations but know their philosophies, interview as many as you can and find one that matches your beliefs & works well with you.

7. Eat Healthy Foods to fuel your body & your growing baby's needs. This site contains information about nutrition for a healthy mom and baby as well as research on pre-eclampsia during pregnancy. http://www.blueribbonbaby.org/

8. Read as much as you can about breastfeeding and seek support(even now) through your local La Leche League. Here is the link for your local leader and meeting information. http://www.lllusa.org/web/AdaCountyID.html

9. Surround yourself with postitive people/energy and avoid situations where the people/energy is negative.

10. Know that your body was designed to grow a baby and give birth. Trust in it's ability!

Congratulations & enjoy this journey.

Peace,
J.
ALACE trained birth assistant because my own birth experiences affected me so profoundly that I wanted other women to experience empowering and fulfilling pregnancies & births.

3 moms found this helpful

I wish I had known about Preggie Pops and the Bumpil Pillow!

2 moms found this helpful

I didn't read them all, but I think you got most of the important stuff. Please visit my website and contact me if you have any more specific questions.
www.tantricparenting.org
ANd the last thing that maybe no one said; remember that when people tell you horror stories- it is their negativity pouring out and has nothing to do with you. For some people it is human nature to share the bad stuff- avoid them!!!
Have a delicious and blessed pregnancy!!!
: )

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Hi J., I jut saw your post and wanted to say congradulations. My advice is from here on out try to be a person thats flexible and goes with the flow. Children have a way of changing the plan even the birth plan. So have your idea of how you want things to go but be ready to change them if need be and don't waste any energy feeling bad or wishing for different.As long as your baby get here safely. And as your baby grows up this will ring true again and again as they seem to have a way of changeing the plans. The more accepting you are the easier. Also I was very surprised my first pregnancy how people are so nice to you and will talk to you and when you have the baby they can't resist asking questions. Enjoy this little connection babies bless us with. We never forget how special babies are and they make people feel good and bring us closer.Some day we'll be that little old lady. Best wishes to you.

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Read "Operating Instructions" by Annie Lammot and "Waiting for Birdy" by Catherine Newman during your child's first year or two. You'll be so glad you did. The main thing is that it's a huge life change and it's crazy for everyone, but also wonderful. We think we have to be perfect mothers and are afraid to ask for help from others. We don't realize that everyone gets a little crazy. It's good to know you are not alone in your pregnancy and later parenting dilemmas.

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I didn't read through all the responses, so forgive me if this is your second, or third time hearing this:

Breastfeeding may be natural, but it doesn't happen naturally. It's A LOT of work for both you and the baby. If you plan on breastfeeding, read as much as you can on it and MAKE SURE you have your breastfeeding watched by a lactation consultant (not just a nurse) before you leave the hospital. And if you choice or need to bottle-feed, feel good about that, too. Breastfeeding isn't the end-all be-all "everyone" makes it out to be.

Make a birth plan and understand that it probably won't go down like you planned. Be open and honest and do what is right and best for you and your baby, regardless of what anyone says. Your goal isn't to have the perfect pregnancy and birth experience. Your goal should be happy and healthy mom and baby. Period. It doesn't matter HOW you get there, just that you do!

In my opinion, an epidural is your best friend. I had one baby with and one without and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND an epidural.

Congrats and best wishes for a happy and healthy pregnancy and baby.

2 moms found this helpful

Most of everything I could think of was covered, I didn't read all 70some, but in case no-one said it, make sure you love you OBGYN. If your Dr is not meeting your needs or making you upset, go see someone else. Referals from people you know and trust are the best. You are paying for your care so get the best experience for you and yours, it will last a lifetime!!

Goodluck!

M.

2 moms found this helpful

Congrats on being pregnant!

I wish someone had told me NOT to read so many pregnancy books. When you get down to it, there's not a ton you can control about pregnancy -- eat well, don't drink alcohol, limit caffeine, exercise moderately and get sleep. INSTEAD, I wish I would have read books about actually being a MOTHER! I remember reading a sleep book, in tears, while patting my 3 month old on his back trying to get him to sleep! Good to think about what you're going to do after the baby comes before its a crisis!

2 moms found this helpful

if you are having a v.delivary, take some maxi pads, pour about a tablespoon of water on the inside of and then freeze it. it will help the perinuium. when the baby comes, for the first couple of days put some olive oil in the diaper. the meconium is almost impossible to get off. the oil will make a difference in a few diaper wipes and the whole box of them.
also, after yoy have the baby stay off your feet. this was the hardest thing for me, moreso than the labor. i had several friends who got large blood clots, but i didn't, and the one thing that i can point to was not overdoing it, which you will have a couple days where you feel like yourself, but if you do too much it will affect you the next day. part of being a good mom, is taking care of yourself, so you can tend to the baby.

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Hi. I had my first Aug 2007. A couple of things:
1) For me- it wasn't possible to really appreciate how amazing it is to have a person created and grow inside of you- until after he was born. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. People asked me all the time if I was excited- and really I didn't know what I felt. I just said I was to make them happy.
2) Pregnancy is amazing, but it is really hard. Don't feel guilty if you don't love every minuite of it- I thought I was going love it, but it was hard on me emotionally.
3) Some people suggest to make your birth plan, plan for the baby etc. now- I suggest waiting. Pregnancy is 9 months- give yourself time to adjust all the changes instead stressing about what is ahead.
4)You will be absolutely amazed at what you can handle both before and after the baby is born. Good luck.

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Hi J. Mother to be and fulture Dad,
Congradulation!!!!!
You have been blessed. And That Beautiful child will always look to you and they're Father for that special love that is needed to grow to be wonderful in this World.
You will feel life beginning in you. Oh it is a wonderful feeling. Growing and letting you know what they will be like. Yes they will give you likes and dislikes while there inside your temple that holds so much miracles yet to be.
Be happy together as one and I do mean Father too.
What you show and feel inside you will help that child know that there is so much love outside.
Enjoy and be at peace with on another.

I Hope you Both a very Happy Life with this special gift of love.
Vicki W.

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Hi, I noticed that you had already pretty much closed this but I did have one bit of advice for you.

Listen to your feelings first, doctors are good and all but if you start to get that feeling that something isn't right then it probably isn't. I wish I had listened to mine closer because then I would have had a better pregnancy. I must agree with the post that says that doctors are great at "scaremongering." Because they are. Remember you do have the choice of doctor that you go to, you don't have to go to a doctor that makes you uncomfortable and make sure that you and hubby/bf are comfortable with the doctor.

Best person who knows its right for you is YOU! Best of luck.

And if by chance you are unfortunate to get morning sickness try pinapple/banana/orange juice and some saltine crackers.

1 mom found this helpful

Cherish every day of your pregnancy and day that you have of with your child. Pictures are not as important as time and memories. Take time to listen to your body and recognize the changes that are happening to you. Feel the kicks and movements and share them with your husband. Be very much in touch with the "earth mother" during this time in your life. Pay attention to the changes of the weather, seasons, and holidays. Slow down and take care of your body. W.

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Congratulations! I just saw this question, so I know this is late. Just wanted to say, take lots of belly pics! I only have a few and sooooooo much wish I had more. I don't have any with my belly showing. I know that sounds silly, but when I see pictures in magazines or photography ads, I regret not doing more.

Enjoy your pregnancy!

1 mom found this helpful

I havaent seen this response, But I wore a bra through out my whole pregnancy with all three of my children I am now 47 and my breast do no sag at all. I also wear a bra most of the time to bed at night. I wore a bra night and day with my pregnancy.

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One thing that I wish I knew was that just because the Dr suggests a test doesn't mean you have to have it. There is a high rate of false positive with several tests. I did trust my Dr but I also made it clear what my feeling were and that I would never terminate so testing to determine anything of that nature was not needed - I didn't want to be robbed of enjoying my pg. I always go to worse case senerio and in this case I thought it would be better to wait and deal with what came.

Congrats and enjoy !

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Not sure if anyone mentioned this...but something I really kick myself in the butt over was eating anything and everything I wanted during my first pregnancy. Those were some of the first words of advice out of my doctor's mouth - "You're pregnant - eat whatever you want!"...So I did. And I gained 80 POUNDS because of it. Went from 128 to 208. I figured the weight would just come off after my son was born...however, 2 months later I was pregnant again. And I knew going into that one, I could not afford to gain another 80 pounds on top of the other weight...So I told my doctor this and he actually told me for that pregnancy it was OK NOT TO EAT ALL THE TIME. Oh my gosh. If he had just told me that the first time. LOL. Maybe I wouldn't have eaten the way I did. First time around...I felt like if I was hungry...then the baby was gonna be hungry...so I ate...and ate and ate. Second time around, after I told him I couldn't afford to gain another 80 pounds...Dr's words were that the baby was a parasite and it would get what it needed. So, I watched my calorie intake and only gained the normal 35 pounds. I lost all the weight I gained with the second one in a matter of probably 6 weeks. However, I still have the extra 40 from the first baby still. And it's taking forever to try and get it off.

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Hey J.,
Congratulations! This is one of the best times of your life so enjoy every moment. The best advise I can give you is to NOT listen to everyones experience. You'll find out that everyone wants to tell you what happened to them during their pregnancy, the birth, etc. It started freaking me out after awhile. You will hear some horror stories and some good stories. Everyone is different. Just enjoy your moment. It will be very exciting. Especially when the baby moves! I couldn't get enough of that. Don't let all the horror stories freak you out. Just because someone had a bad experience doesn't mean you will. I wish you the best of luck. I don't know you but I am happy for you. My kids are 12 and 9 yrs old. I really miss being pregnant, giving birth, and seeing your baby change everyday. I miss my babies, though I am treasuring every moment (good and bad) that I have with them now. These days will be over in a flash. Always remember to enjoy the moment NOW. Life passes by too fast! T.

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This is mostly for your labor- hire a doula! I didn't and now that I am one, I wish I had. I would have had a much different experience. The whole time I wished someone who knew what I should do was there, but the nurses were in and so infrequently. Find on in your area by going to the DONA website. (www.DONA.org) and put in your zip. Sine you have time, you can shop around and find someone you mesh with well, and book them before they get booked up. Both my husband and I took childbirth classes- which I reccomend, but still would have liked more support. Good luck, and best wishes! :-)

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That someone (Dr.) would have told me that before the baby's head comes out it pushes on your rectum and you may deficate. Not everyone does, but if I would have known I wouldn't have been wondering if it were normal. Oh and don't start any habits that you don't want to carry over into toddler-hood. It's true their only little once but if you don't want to be holding your child through his/her nap when she's two don't start it when she 1 month. I made that mistake with my last one. It was easier to hold her than to try to put her down because she would wake up. Well when she was 15 months old I had to break that habit and it was not pretty. So start a routine- not a schedule- that you can live with. and Be flexible what works one day may not work the next. Just remember that you love them and they are not trying to manipulate you. At least not until they are older.

Cathyd

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I loved being pregnant!

#1 I dont have to wear ugly maternity stuff!
A: (depending on your budget) Motherhood maternity, and other stores like that can be expensive. So go to your local goodwill, arc, thrisft store and start looking for clothes. I am a big thrift store shopper, and sometimes they would not have anything good (all worn out, or something) but sometimes I would hit the jackpot with great clothes. Ross also has great maternity stuff.

B: I also shopped at the younger hip places in the mall, or the young adult section of JC PENNY, Mervyns, etc. The reason for that is all these styles are popular right now that will fit pregnant women! Like the babydoll shirts, alot of the shirt are very long also to fit over your hips, so that is great for maternity wear! So dont isolate yourself to frumpy clothing, show off that bump! Twords the end (like the last 4 weeks or so) I could only wear maternity shirt, just because of the way I was carrying my daughter, she was sticking straight out front. But up until then, I always got comments on how great I looked. I think thats important when your preggo and a littl insecure about whats happening with your body.

#2 I wish someone had told me to buy lots of frozen dinners for after I had my first baby (my son). Easy stuff like lasagnas, enchiladas, any frozen family meals you can find that are easy to cook, so you dont end up with pizza the first 6 weeks.

#3 I wish someone would have told me I would wear a robe all the fricking time fo rthe first couple weeks. So thenext baby I haad (my daughter) I bought a few loose, comfy, but also cute active wear outfits. Ya know, those things that are in style now, the cute sweatpants with matching shirt and little matching jacket. That way you at least feel lik eyour dressed, and if you do need to leave the house, you have on something decent, and not like a pair of nasty old sweats and a ratty tshirt.

OOH! The last thing is most important(cuz that other stuff is just fun how to enjoy your preggo and be cute at the same time!) Dont le t anyone pressure you into no drug-or a drug filled birth. You will meet people who say "the drugs will hurt your baby, your such a bad person for wanting pain meds" or "your dont get a medal for natural birth, hav ethem drug you up!" I say just do your own reserach and YOU decide. My first delivery I had a few people (including my midwife) scare me into not having an epidural, or anything. That was the wrong choice for me, and i knew in the back of my head i didnt want to do it that way. But I figured "shes my doc, she knows". The next birth I had was so much better becuse i did what I wanted to do. Your doc or midwife might push drugss, or push you to take them, but even they have opinions that might not be right for you. As long a sthere is not medical reason for you to go one way pr the other, just do what YOU think is the best. Oh-and when your doing reserach about it, make sur eyou look at website and books that dont have a biased opinion. If you look through a natural birth book, they will obviously be bashing epidurals and any other form of drugs, so be careful who your resources are. Dont let other people scare you by saying "my epidural had to be done 5 times and they still didnt get it right" blah blah blah. Y aknow what there is always going to be some aweful horror story. There are benefits AND risks to taking the drugs, you just need to decide what you want to go with.

Thats my advice-good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Just a few little odd points:
Be prepared for strangers and acquaintances wanting to pet your belly once it pops out!
Be prepared for handsome men holding doors for you and smiling. that really helped with the "fat uglies" feelings.
Just because it's your 1st - doesn't mean the kiddo won't come early - in spite of family history, etc. Our baby decided he wanted out and kicked a huge hole in my water bag the day after my baby shower - 5 weeks early. We were NOT ready - no car seat, no stroller, no blankets and the bassinet we got was on back order for 2 weeks.
All you'll get at your shower - in spite of registering is cute little outfits - so buy the practical stuff whenever you see a sale and stock up.
Once your baby is born - watch out for the Belly Petting People to become Baby Petting People! You have to be a Pit Bull sometimes to keep people from touching your newborn - especially if he's as cute as my little guy! ;)Usually it's a grandma aged woman who will run across a parking lot crying "Ooooh a BABY!!!" just as you got the little bugger to finally stop crying and fall asleep which is why you drove to Costco for the 3rd time that week anyway...
The best way to stop them is to ask "When was the last time you washed your hands?"
Buy diapers from Amazon.com & sign up for subscribe & save - you'll save a ton of money and you get free delivery if you get 2 boxes at a time - it's SO convenient!
Good Luck!
P.S. read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" BEFORE you give birth! You'll thank me later.
I'm due the end of April with #2 if all goes well.

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Make sure you love your obgyn and their staff...you will be spending a lot of time with them in compromising positions.....lol

And, if I hadn't had the epidural my husband would not have been allowed near me ever again. It made labor actually fun. I was able to laugh and joke with family and friends until it was time to push.

good luck!

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Pace yourself. DOn't try to get everything done in one day. If you work yourself too hard one day, you will end up paying for it the next. Sometimes I would be on my feet for hours at a time running to the store etc. But the next 2 or even 3 days I would be so sore and tired all I could do is sit in bed and call on my husband to do things for me. :(

You have plenty of time to accomplish everything in the world. Just enjoy life, enjoy being pregnant. This is your one opportunity to sit around and watch other people carry your bags or move that table over there!

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Praise God for your precious Miracle! I am Grandma now but the perfect thing I did do is I wrote letters to my daughter. Now that she is 38 I can go back to that time and feel the feelings. It goes so fast, so write letters while she is inside and you do have some time! May all of God's blessings be upon you & your family.

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Congratulations!

My biggest problem after pregnancy was childcare! If you work and plan to continue to work after the baby start looking for childcare NOW! Most places have a waiting list and some you really wounldn't want your child at. If you live in Waxahachie I know a wonderful lady who keeps kids in her home.

Enjoy your pregnancy! Take a walk at least 5 days a week for 30 minutes a day. It will help build your strength for labor.

Just take one day at a time and don't wish it to hurry up because trust me that sweet baby will be grown as quick as you can blink. I keep a journal for both of my kids from the time I found out I was pregnant. I love to go back and read how I felt and the things the kids did when they started walking, or talking. It really helps me hold onto memories I never want to forget.

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Yoga can help with back pain and give you breathing techniques for relaxation. Classes are available through your local park district and yoga studios. Details on how to find a doula and yoga class are at www.birthlink.net.
C. L
Mom of 3

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Be prepared that everything you plan to do, might not quite go as planned. For example, I planned to breastfeed, and after pumping for 10 weeks, seeing the lactation consultant and trying every remedy, I only produced 2 oz. of milk a day--not enough for the baby so we had to switch to formula. Also, if you plan to do a natural birth, don't be surprised that you opt for an epidural. Or if you plan on getting an epidural, be prepared that it might not work out and you'll have to deliver naturally. In other words, just be open to things not going "according to plan" and it'll be easier for you in the long run.

Also, kick counts are EXTREMELY important, a lot of women gain more than the "25-35 pounds on average" thing that's dictated to you and it's NORMAL, and go with your gut if your doctor is telling you one thing and your gut is telling you another. The gut instinct is usually correct.

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Congratulations!!!

Try to keep a "barf bag" in your car at all times and close by! One day you might be driving down the road on your way to work like normal and boom that morning sickness will hit you. (A kit containing toothbrush, toothpaste, water and tums is a good idea to have with you too.)

If you have trouble keeping food down try Ensure because it is easy on the stomach and full of vitamins.

During the 3rd trimester is when the baby's bones are developing and s/he needs the most calcium--I supplemented my diet during that time with Ensure High Calcium once a day--I had a very healthy baby, and the nurses commented what a healthy umbilical cord I had.

enjoy this time!

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I don't think anybody mentioned the "What to Expect While You're Expecting" book- very helpful. Labor is hard work (I had natural and did not think it was painful-just hard work) and like someone else said - it feels like you are pooping out the baby. Once I realized that I started pushing w/ the correct muscles and out he popped. Enjoy it. You will be thrilled that EVERYONE holds the door open for you when you are pregnant- only to be stunned to see that NO ONE holds a door for you when you have a stroller. In fact- they run ahead of you so you don't hold them up! Silly but true!
Pillows between your knees and under your tummy while you sleep make life grand for you- altho your hubby might feel left out. Sex IS great! If you're flat chested normally like me then you have BOOBS!! Yay!

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When I got close to the end, I was having contractions for three days. Because they were never constant and "five minutes" apart, I suffered three days and two sleepless nights (so I was already exhausted) before my water finally broke and I went to the hospital. What I wish someone had told me was that if you are having strong contractions and more than just a few then you should go in.

I also want to say that there are going to be a lot of people who are going to tell you how to raise your little bundle of joy so you need to develope a thick skin. Congratulations and good luck!

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i wish i had taken more pictures of me while pregnant. and with my second i took pictures or had my husband do it of me in the same position in the same outfit every so many weeks. i wish d done it ore often but its nice to flip through them and watch my belly "grow". and write everything down. your only ppregnant for 9ish months. seems like forever now but once its over...it over.

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I wish I had known how important it was to drink TONS of water. I went into pre-term labor with my first and I know it was because I was dehydrated. With my second pregnancy, I drank like a fish and everything went well.

So drink, drink, and then, when you can no longer stand the sight of water, close your eyes drink it anyway.

I also agree with a previous poster about loving your OB. We're not talking about your average doctor here. We're talking about the most important person in your life (next to your unborn child) for the next nine months. Choose wisely.

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J.-

Congrats on your pregnancy! A few things to I've found to be helpful.

1. Take advice with a grain of salt. What works for someone else may or may not work for you. If the advice seems crazy, don't feel pressured to use it. Use the advice you feel will work best for you.

2. Remember, it's okay to not breastfeed, just as it's ok to breastfeed. I am not in any way an advocate for or against breastfeeding. I am still breastfeeding my 7.5 month old son, as it was what was going to be best for my family. I remember feeling all the pressure from people to breastfeed and pressure from those saying not to breastfeed. Do what will work best for you, your child and your family.

3. Lots of womem have been saying to pick an OB/GYN you love. This is so true, but keep in mind that many practices have multiple OB/GYn's that could deliver your baby. So get to know all of the doctor's in your office ( you go to the doctor plenty of times until your child is born to accomplish this), that way you're not completely shocked when someone new walks into your labor and delivery room. In my case, I did see every doctor in the practice, but it happened that I went into labor on a night where none of them were there. The doctor I had was absolutely wonderful!

4. Some other's have said this as well, but don't be afraid to get an epidural. I did not, but was fully intentioned to get one. I got to the hospital and was 9.5 cm dilated, so the nurse explained that pushing would take longer if I had an epidural, so I opted against it. But I have friends who swear by them.

5. Last but not least, and this is really just a summary of what I have said - Do not feel pressured by what other people tell you is right/wrong. Everyone has their own opinions on birthing, breastfeeding, vaccines, etc. Do what works best for your family. Find a doctor (for both you and baby) that you love - ask lots of questions! The internet is also a valuable tool for resources.

Trust your own instincts. =)

Best of luck!

J. B.

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Hi J.,
Take the classes, learn the breathing techniques, know what an epideral is and the procedure for getting one just in case, even if you plan on having a natural birth like me after 23 hours of hard back labor, baby coming a bit sideways, the idea of natural birth goes out the window and I wish I had known more of what to expect, not that it would have made any difference in the outcome, baby and mom fine and healthy, but during the process I would have been happier if I had been more educated on things I wasn't planning on.
Enjoy every second of motherhood,
SarahMM

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Enjoy every minute of it! It is so easy to get caught up in all of the normal "scares" of pregnancy to the point that it isn't fun anymore. This will be one of the most amazing experiences of your life~ relish in it and take it one day at a time!

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Hi J.,

Congratulations! I wish I had known what I know now about nutrition.

Everyone was concerned about weight and protiens in my urine. I really wish my midwife and doula would have talk to me about nutrition. No one talks about it. Even my ob/gyn admits he doesn't know enough about nutrition to talk to his patients about it because he didn't learn much about nutrition in school. This is so sad. The food choices we make when pregnant will make a difference in our childs health as well as our future health.

Eat as much fruits, veggies as possible. Your body recognizes real food and you and you baby need the micronutrients.

Stay away from anything hydrogenated, msg, sugar artifical sugars and white flour.

I have a great healthy food shopping list if you are interested, I can email it to you.

I took Juice Plus when I was pregnant. It is simply concentrated fruit and veggie juiced than dried. Consider checking it out to bridge the gap of what you can't, won't and don't eat as far as fruits and veggies. www.DenverJuicePlus.com

There is amazing research behind juice plus and safe during pregnancy.

Best of luck.

L. C

1 mom found this helpful

when i was pregnant wth my 1st, i read a lot since I had nobody to tell me what to expect. I couldn't stand the smell of cooking for the 1st 3 months, I had the darkening of my face, and the hemorroids were the pits, carried my donut pillow everywhere. With the 2nd, I had so many skin tags, all gone now. During both, I ate a big breakfast and drank 1/2 gallon of milk. It staved off the nausea. They are all grown now, different personalities and smart as hell. My younger one even started working at 14, and does everything to help others, recently went to So. Africa with world teach and the children loved her, yet the teachers didn't. Corporal punishment was the norm, but she showed them care. 2 yrs ago she went to Honduras, no drinking water, and of course habitat for humanity and worked 6 campus jobs and studied abroad in Australia. Older one in Belgium, and was always top of her class, valedictorian, deans list and a special award for the highest grade in grad school. Reading all the time to them paid off big time. I talked to them all the time when we were going someplace, told them what to expect and how to behave and they were so well behaved and I was so proud. Of course I didn't sleep for 6 yrs, was a walking zombie, but it was all worth it. Good luck, and if you want to talk, let me know. My girls are now 22 and 25 and the younger one will be going to grad school in Ausralia in 6 months. I beam all the time!!!!!

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The only thing I could say I wish I knew is how fierce the love is that you have for your child. Which is beautiful and wonderful, but also hard. You hurt when they hurt. The one thing that made my pregnancy and labor much better was that we took a long class--the Bradley Birth Class (you can find them anywhere--which helped us prepare for all aspects of labor AND afterwards (it's a 12 week class, and the 8 couples in our class are all still involved in each others' lives) and secondly, we had a doula for our birth. If you intend to deliver naturally at all, a doula is so important. She is there for the mother. The doctors and nurses come and go and your husband really doesn't know what the heck is going on or how to deal with you going through pain. A doula gives you massages, tells you what's normal (and what's not) and supports your decisions. She was worth her weight in gold! Congratulations and all the best. Keep a journal--it's amazing to look back on how you felt. Also, my husband and I got "your baby week by week" and he read it aloud to me every Sunday. It was nice for both of us to know what is going on. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Congratulations! It is such an exciting time, I just had my baby in April of this year.
-Make sure to stay active...
-Eat healthy!
-I always had heartburn so keep some Tums with you at all times.
-Hopefully your hubby doesn't mind giving you back, leg, and foot massages! Alot! I had a constant pinched nerve in my back, it was sooo painful, and my legs swelled up.
-Dress cute, your body is changing and it can be depressing so do what you can to feel good about yourself. A pregnant woman is so beautiful, I miss my tummy soo much! I can't wait for baby #2!!!
-I had an epidural and my labor wasn't that bad, I was very calm and pleasant. But it hurts REALLY BAD after when you are healing (I didn't expect it to be so painful to heal-I could hardly walk)

I just saw your question and I see that you have a lot of responses so this may be a repeat, but I wish I had eaten healthier during my pregnancy. I have dieted all of my life and was always really thin, but when I got pregnant I took full advantage of it and ate anything and everything I could get my hands on. I gained 60 pounds as a result of that and am finding it very hard to lose the weight now. Don't have the mindset that you are eating for 2.

- First off...Congrats!
- This may sound funny...But I wish I knew that I would have GAS that rivaled my husband! There is a book that I read when I was pregnant...The title was something along the lines of 'A Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy'. Comical and worth the read.
- Take the classes that the hospital recommends...Whether it is the Lamaze ones, the Baby 101 or breast Feeding (if you choose to), it's worth it.

Enjoy this time and the feelings! So worth it!

I love the week by week guide about what was going on with my baby. I think it was on babycenter.com?

Make sure you buy a body pillow for the last few months...my hips would really hurt at night.

Make sure you enjoy every minute of it. A baby is a true blessing and when it's over, it seems like it went too quickly.

I knew I'd get swollen ankles but my feet went up a whole size and never went back down (I had to get all all new shoes!) A friend told me it was because I was always barefoot - if I had worn shoes all the times it would have kept my foot bones from spreading out. Don't know if there's truth in that but I'll be doing it next time!

It does some weird stuff to your skin, IE: skin tags, dry patches, mysterious bumps (I still get them on my hands...) But everyone is different in this area, I know some people who said their skin was never better!! Good luck, enjoy the ride!

If I knew this I would have done it for both of my children. I recently saw pictures of women who made a mold of their bellies. When it dried they painted pictures on them. I thought that was sooo neat.Congratulations and Welcome to motherhood!
Take Care
J.

Eat what sounds good. Wear stilettos if you want to (over 8 months, and still wearing them!). Decide what you want to do with your labor and delivery early on and RESEARCH IT like crazy. Once you make your decision, don't feel guilty when people try to tell you you are crazy. Most of all, find the happy little perks here and there and enjoy it! It all ends eventually.

I don't know if there is anything I wished I had known. Everyone will tell you their story about pregnancy and child birth. My friends told me things about their experience and mine was completely different.

One thing I found very helpful durning pregnancy was doing walking and yoga. My pelvis became really sore and stretching was great. Both were very relaxing to me and I used yoga breathing techniques during labor. I wanted to have a natural birthing experience and the breathing is what I found to be most useful.

For child birth, if you are interested in doing it naturally, I would recommend finding a doula or I had my friend who had given birth naturally three months before I did with her second child.

have fun! don't always be the strong one...allow yourself some pampering (didn't do this and it's my biggest regret). if you have to read about pregnancy, then the girlfriend's guide, the mayo book, and babycenter.com are great. most other things scared me to pieces and i was sure i was doing everything wrong. i stopped reading so much, unless it was about the boys' (have twins) developement AFTER i gave birth.

something i really wish i had known more about was how i would be after giving birth. the first thing i wasn't prepared for was being left alone. one boy went to nicu, the other to the nursery for clean up...and daddy went with him. that left me alone with a deflated tummy. the sensation was overwhelming. so, i would ask for a plan to have someone there when dad takes off to the nursery to watch the cleaning, etc (maybe this only applies of you are 'high risk,' not sure how it works for everyone.) i would recommend reading about lactation too. =)

most importantly, ENJOY! we've decided to stick with just the twins and there are so many regrets i have for not just enjoying the whole experience more because i was so worried.

best of luck
W.

I don't know if someone said this already, but what I really wish I had known was that doctors aren't always right.

I swelled and itched all over, quite suddenly in the eight month. I called the doctor on-call who told me I had eaten too much salt that day (which was simply not true. Too much sugar maybe, but not too much salt!) Several days later, I went into labor and my son was born 4 weeks early. (I later recalled that I had read in a midwife book that those two symptoms, especially paired together, happen with some women just before they go into labor.)

If you think or feel that something is wrong or even just "off", get a second opinion!!!!! I may have been able to prevent my son's premature birth if the doctor had not dismissed my concerns or if I had sought a second opinion.

(My son was fine, very few complications :)

P.S. my 2 cents on baby books: I like to have as much information as possible, so I read everything I could find. The Pregnancy Bible was good for feeding my hypochondriac tendencies :) Don't get that one unless you don't mind being scared. A nice gentle classic is the What to Expect When You're Pregnant. It tells you what you NEED to know, but not all the other details. Good for those who don't need to know the reason for the symptom, just when to call the doc and when not to. If you're going to get a pregnancy magazine, just get one, they tend toward the same info in each one. If you are going to skip the preg mag but want something that will touch on pregnancy and have lots of parenting stuff, try Parents Magazine. They cover all ages including pregnancy each month. You can get one year and just save them- the age-by-age stuff is mostly relevent year to year with a few exceptions. (Parenting Magazine is another good one, I just happened to get a great deal on Parents after having bought both for some time.)

1. Take Enfamil Lipil instead of fish oil for OMEGA 3. My OB recommended it because fish oil is too greasy and that is not good for your fetus. Ask your OB for samples.
2. Ask your OB for lots of sample formula in case you cannot breastfeed for some reason. (Don't be shy. They have a lot of those from manufactures.)
3. Remember to read about being a parent besides reading about pregnancy.
4. Use diapers with wetness indicator (such as Pampers Swaddlers Sensitive Diapers) for your baby's first few months.
5. If budget allows, hire a postpartum doula (who will take care of you and your baby for a month). It costs about $3,000. Mine cooked for me and my husband, fed our baby (after I pumped), and cared for and bathed our baby.

Congratulations! I just had my 3rd baby three weeks ago and I still wasn't prepared - every baby and every pregnancy is different so the best you can do is to be educated and prepared for whatever life throws your way. But here are a few of my favorite pregnancy items:

- Two body pillows. One for the front and back (trust me).
- Regular pedicures with massage.
- Drink LOTS of water. Will help prevent stretch marks and constipation (which may reduce your chances of getting hemorrhoids too).
- Exercise and stretch every day. Will help ease aches and pains, keeps your mood levels slightly more stable, and makes post-partum recovery much, much easier.
- Have heat and eat meals prepared prior to the end of your pregnancy. The last thing I wanted to do my last 3-4 weeks was cook.
- Have heat and eat meals prepared for after you get home. I didn't have to cook for 2 weeks thanks to some wonderful friends and family. It was the best gift I received!
- Hire a housekeeper to come in at least once a month to deep clean the areas you can't like the kitchen floor and the bathrooms (and request environmentally friendly products or provide your own for them to use).
- Have an antacid on hand BEFORE you need it in the middle of night, thereby waking poor hubby to run to Walmart to pick it up for you.
- Have your nursery done and organized before you have the baby. Trust me when I say the last thing you feel like doing after you get home w/your baby is putting together a room.

There is really so much more - like a great nursing bra if you are breastfeeding, a sling or carrier, or someone warning you that your stomach can look like a deflated balloon for weeks or even months after you deliver and to invest in a good body shaper (Assets by Sara Blakely at Target is what I recommend). It's all about personal preference and finding what works for you and makes sense.

Enjoy your pregnancy and get as much sleep as you can BEFORE you deliver!!!

Coco Butter is a wonderful thing, everytime you itch do not scratch rub on coco butter. Scratching can give you stretch marks. The most important thing is that in the end the gift you are given is worth any morning sickness or discomfort. The first time they put your baby in your arms is the most beautiful magical moment you will ever experience. You will read a lot of the bad things people for some reason like to tell pregnant women how horrible it all is. I just told my self that millions of women before me have done this and that in the end I would have an angel in my arms. I have had two babies. All pregnancies are different, all labors are different. Try not to listen to the Horror Stories. IT IS ALL WORTH IT!!!!!! Do however take the hospital classes they help. Congrats, Good luck and soon all of us moms will welcome you into the world of unconditional love.

S. M

1. Leg cramps are common. Start yoga now before bed to stretch and get used to a routine. Having your husband "rub out" your cramp can make it worse...best to just walk around and stretch.
2. You will carry in the winter. See if you can get a closer parking space if you work. I taught and went a bit earlier and at the very same time every morning so that the custodian knew to get that sidewalk cleared during spring snows...and he often walked me in side.

Being a mother makes you incredibly morbid--you come up with every possible scenario in which your baby will be horribly taken away from you. And it doesn't stop-ever. My mother says that being a grandma means that you just have more people to worry about.

Congrats!

Congrats! I planned well with oil and butter on my stomach for stretch marks- and proud to say I have NONE on my stomach. HOWEVER- I wish I had known about the butt and hips- I didn't really gain much weight, but my butt and hips are covered with stretch marks- ha ha . Keep those greased up, too!

I think you should take time to enjoy your pregnancy. My first, I walked on clouds for 8 months (I gave birth at the endof August in Tucson - the heat got to me in the 9th month!!) My daughter would stick her foot out, and I would run my fingernail down the bottom of her foot. It was fun to see what she would do.

I think you should decide for yourself if you want to know the baby's gender. When I was pregnant with #2, EVERYONE kept saying "Oh, you're THE ONE who doesn't want to know". Apparrently, I was an oddity for not wanting to know. Make that decision and stick to your guns whatever you decide.

I think you should look at the books - but only the development stuff. I had "What to Expect" and I read the "these are the things happening about this time" part and checked the baby's progress - other than that I left the book alone.

I think the person who came up with the idea of the body pillow was a GENIOUS! I could tuck it under my tummy and sleep on my side. I hate sleeping on my back, but if I did, I folded the pillow in half and stuck it under my knees for support. It was SO great!

And, last - adjust yourself to the thought that people will want to talk to you because you're pregnant. Actually, they may want to touch your tummy - I don't know why, but it's like a magnet. As soon as your little bwamp is out there for people to see, they almost seem unable to help themselves. Start planning now how you'll react. Some freak - I never did. But, that's the kind of person I did. And seeing other people's excitement was kinda fun - even if you don't know them!

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Hey there, J.. You've opened a topic that we all love to talk about! Thanks!

A couple things I didn't see (though I only got about halfway through the responses):

Interview pediatricians before you give birth to find a practitioner whom you feel comfortable partnering in the health maintenance of your child. There are so many decisions to make - about vaccines, especially, - in the first two years of your baby's life. Do you want them? Do you want to delay them? It's important to find someone that you like, who answers your questions, listens well to your concerns, and is patient and open. "The Vaccine Book" by Dr. Sears is a good overview of vaccines, their histories, the pros and cons of each them, and so on - in my opinion.

Whole Foods carries a powdered form of calcium w/magnesium called "A to B Calm." My midwife recommended I take this powder when I started having charlie-horses in my calves that would send me leaping out of bed at 3 a.m. during my pregnancy. Ouch!! It worked. Really well.

Going into month 8 until the end, I had major heartburn. I felt like a fire-breathing Dragon Lady. Taking digestive enzymes with meals helped a lot to reduce the heartburn. And, yes, my baby was born with hair (there's an old wives' tale about heartburn and hairy newborns)!

The best advice I got is that you're the CAR during your pregnancy, but that the baby is the DRIVER. Make your plans, inform yourself, make choices about your pregnancy and delivery -- but more importantly, surround yourself with a great team to support you, and be gentle with yourself. The baby's going to come out the way the baby needs to come out - regardless of your ideal plans!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. :)

Congratulations! I am a mom of three girls. First of all I wish my hubby had a warninig that I would be so moody and grumpy. We both didn't expect the crazy mood swings. They didn't subside until well after the baby was born. Also I wish someone would have told me that breastfeeding was painful (at first). I almost gave up on breastfeeding when we hired a lactation consultant. It wasn't until she told me that initially breastfeeding can be extremely painful for some people. I pushed through the pain and continued and it was the best experience of my life. Good Luck and God Bless!

Congratulations! This is going to seem more depressing than I intend as I just went through a miscarriage. This was my second pregancy, but first miscarriage. I wish I had realized how lucky you are when you get a healthy pregnancy without complications. It is really a miracle. Sadly, bad things do happen, and no one is immune. But that just makes the miracles that much more enjoyable. Life is fragile; I pray all goes well for you.

I almost totally agree about the pregnancy books. I was so knowledgable from reading them that I felt as though I needed to spend my pregnancy in an airtight, fully disinfected room. I knew too much of the possibilities to freely enjoy my pregnancy. I will say, however, that some of the knowledge was great to have and it really helped.

do the best you can and don't be hard on yourself if you don't feel able. Drink plenty of water, eat right, exercize moderately or according to your abilities, and before getting pregnant, stock up on crackers, broths, and other foods easy on the stomach. other premade foods are good for days you don't feel good

I wish someone had told me to relax and not worry. It is easy to worry about the pregnancy and labor/delivery. But you have a Dr. and a team of medical professionals to help you through this. The "hard part", in my opinion, is what happens after you bring the baby home! They are wonderful little beings, but easier to take care of when they're "inside" than when they're "outside".

The only advise I will give you is ENJOY every moment of this time with your baby. I was so worried during mine with my son (I was high risk) I wish I could have just relaxed & enjoyed more. I still sometimes miss feeling him move around in me. So enjoy every moment!

CONGRATULATIONS.
I will tell you what my mom passed on to me and I was very glad. Walk a lot, drink lots of fluids that are good for you and baby, take good vitamins.
And get bigger shoes, your feet will swell up. I wish you a healthy pregnancy and likewise a very healthy baby.

Your life and body will never be the same.
C. B

eat a healthy diet, EXCERCISE (as much as possible), and use tons of cocoa or shea butter on your tummy, legs and chest!

1. Use either Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion and/or "Lay It On Thick Body Cream" from Bath and Body Works on your tummy, thighs and butt during your last trimester to help prevent stretch marks.
2. While you're tummy is little know and you are still bendable, work out and stretch your hips. I think the muscles are called the I.T. bands. When you're in the third trimester your hips will hurt at night from sleeping on your sides so much; stretching them and making them strong will help.
3. If you get sick or get a cold, you pretty much have to deal with it!
4. MOST IMPORTANT: Although you might be feeling miserable and you don't want to be pregnant anymore...ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS. You could be sick as a dog the whole nine months but remember, it's only nine months and you will miss feeling the baby move inside you. Day by day time crawls (especially once you hit 30 weeks) but week by week the time goes by really fast! Good luck!

I don't know if you had this already, but I thought I'd put my two cents in. First, take lots of pictures! I didn't have a good camera when I was prego the first time and I really wish I would've. I took enough pictures the second time to make up for it though. Second, write down dates of when things happen. For example, first time you feel baby move, when you started to show, all the "rude" things people say (I had a lot of that the second time because I got a lot bigger) and all the unsolicited advice random people will give you. Third, stretch marks are either going to appear, or they aren't. It doesn't matter how much cocoa butter/lotion you rub on your tummy. If you are predisposed to get stretch marks, you will get them. The lotions will help them fade more quickly afterwards though, and it might be fun for your baby's daddy to rub it on. (My husband got weirded out when I asked him if he wanted to do it. So it's not for everybody. ;)) Fourth, it WILL end eventually. So when you are 7 months along and it seems like you have been, and will be, pregnant forever, just enjoy it and realize it is just a temporary state! For now, just enjoy the easy part of parenthood! Good luck and congratulations!

Congratulations. Get a journal and take a few minutes every night before you go to bed and write down the events of the day. It's fun to look back and read about what triggered your moring sickness or that fact that it lasted all day or the crazy things people may have said to you. Be careful about reading too much. Some books really scared the heck out of me. Trust your doctor and try to relax. Your body is going to change in ways you never knew were possible and when that little bundle arrives the fun really begins. My only advise to you is when the baby comes and your friends and family offer you help.....TAKE IT. My husband and I tried to be "strong" and do it all ourselves...OMG!

The two things that surprised me most were stretch marks and labor. I am genetically predisposed to stretch marks but never thought they would be this bad - no more bikinis for me ever! And with labor & delivery, (this goes against many other posts), it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I know some can be complicated & painful, but mine wasn't bad and I would honestly rather do it again than suffer a UTI for a week! So here's hoping yours goes as easy as mine did! I never really worried about it anyway - women do it everyday, some in terrible conditions in other parts of the world, so don't pysch yourself out beforehand. COngrats!

Congratulations!
I agree about the scary books-- I do like the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy because it tells you all of the cool stuff about child development and it has a what to do if... section but all of the scary stuff is in the back where you have to go looking for it.

If you are planning on breastfeeding, read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (LaLeche League's book) or attend a meeting before the baby is born-- women breastfeeding in public make it look so easy but it isn't-- it is a skill both you and the baby need to learn and I think a lot of women get frustrated by how challenging it is at the beginning.

That I would get so nervous and worry - your body gets weird and I panicked over every little thing that happened. I had a real good pregnancy but I would have days where I would just worry that I was doing it right.

I wish I had known...
that not everyone "just loves" being pregnant, it is just as normal even to dislike the gravid state.

(I grew up listening to my mom telling me how fantastic it was to be pregnant, I didn't enjoy it that much, had a real hard time mentally/emotionally in fact and thought there was something wrong with me---although it was a perfectly normal pregnancy physically.)

CONGRATULATIONS! Don't over do online info, you've 10 whole months to adjust and prepare. Women have been doing this for hundreds of thousands of years.

Congratulations! Use this time while you are feeling pretty good to get ready! As quick as you can (before you start feeling like throwing up all the time) start making as many meals as you can, put them in ziplock freezer bags and store them in the freezer. You will have all sorts of nights where you are just not up to cooking a meal or have been too busy with the baby and this way, all you have to do is defrost and microwave it! You (and your husband) will be so glad to have an easy meal available for those tough days. The other thing you can do to prepare is to start taping some of your favorite movies and tv shows and put them aside. There will be those nights when you are up in the middle of the night with a fussy baby who won't go to sleep and you are tired and frustrated etc and there is absolutely nothing decent to watch at that time of night! If you have something good to watch, you will relax and in turn the baby will relax and hopefully you can both go back to sleep sooner. Good Luck!

I remember after giving birth, I looked at all the people who I knew around me that had already had babies and said, "why didn't you tell me how hard labor is?" They all said the same thing, "we didn't want to freak you out". Maybe it's just me, but I like to KNOW what I am getting into. Giving birth is hard and very painful to the point where it is like an out of body experience. It can be emotionally traumatic and after it is over you will feel like your body literally went to war. Then afterwards while you are trying to cope and recover from giving birth (and haven't slept in somewhere ranging from 24-48 hours) you have to try to find a way to be cognisant enough to learn to 1.)breastfeed your baby if that is your choice,2.)deal with family members and possibly friends coming in and out of your room, and 3.)just the basics of caring for your newborn. The hospital will expect you to watch videos etc.. that are supposed to help you but you are way to exhausted to retain most of that information. Hopefully your mate will be VERY supportive. You are going to need him. Then comes the HARD part. Going home. Be prepared to get very little sleep. Think about that. Think about it alot. Plan ahead and do whatever you can to make your life easier for at least the first 3 months. I had to learn to completely surrender to motherhood. You cannot worry about keeping the house clean, making gourmet dinners, having people over to visit the baby and entertaining them. Get as much sleep as you can. I had to retrain myself to go to bed at 7:30 at night for the first 4 months so I could be up with the baby every three hours to nurse.Then when your done feeding the baby it is going to take you some time to wind back dow, try to fall asleep and when you finally do it will be time to get back up and feed the baby again. Even if you have your hubby feed the baby bottles it is very little relief. The first few months are pretty trying, no wonder it has been referred to as the "4th trimester". The upside is that you will be so in love with your baby that you will come to understand there are levels of love that you never knew even existed, that you will feel it is your greatest accomplishment. Sorry to take some of the romance out of it for you. This was MY experience. But like I said, I am the kind of person who would have rather heard beforehand because I was completely and utterly shell shocked starting from labor all the way through to the 4th month when life gets a little easier. Not that I was naive either, keep in mind I am an educated 37 year old. I am so madly in love with my little boy and he IS my proudest achievement, he is healthy and happy and beautiful, but it didn't come without a tremendous amount of self sacrifice. Hopefully some other Moms that respond to your question will be real with you too. Good luck on your new journey and congratulations.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I've only read a few of the responses, so if I add something that has already been added... well... happy reading!

Find a great body pillow... it will be a great thing in your third trimester.

Don't be afraid to ask and accept help... before and after the baby is born. You may not need a meal that day, but you could certainly ask someone to do a load of dishes or a load of laundry!

Get paper plates, plastic utensils and plastic cups. On the nights you are extremely tired (before and after the baby is born), there's no reason why you should have to do extra dishes!

I have 3 children... I had an epidural with the first (she was induced) and didn't with the second and third (I have fast labors so by the time I got to the hospital, it was too late for an epidural- the second was out within 5 minutes after arriving at the hospital, the third out within an hour) I wished I had the epidural with my second and third. The decision is yours, but consider (and do your own research) about getting an epidural.

Epidurals and breastfeeding are usually hot topics among women. Whatever you choose to do in those areas, don't let anyone get you down on your decision!

At some point should you decide to bottlefeed with formula, that is going to be a huge expense! I buy my formula at Sam's Club or Costco and spend about $30 a week on formula... I also buy diapers there as well and only spend $30 a month for that.

Drink lots and lots of water! Yeah, you'll be in the bathroom a lot, but in the end, everything will be much better... literally.

If you have morning sickness, try sucking on lemon drops or getting "Preggy Pops."

Your feet will probably get bigger... and stay bigger after the birth.

It is normal for a little poop to come out while you are in labor on the table. Don't worry about it. The nurses clean it up so the baby doesn't touch it.

Do not expect your body to get back to pre-pregnancy status right away. It took 9 months for your body to grow your LO... it's going to take 9-12 months (or longer) to get back to where you were.

After the baby is born, it's OK to not want to see people right away. If this is your first baby, people are going to want to come over and see him/her... sometimes THE DAY you come home! It's OK to tell people to wait a week or two. Let them know you need some time to adjust to being a family.

Once the baby is born, people love to look at, and sometimes touch, your baby. If you don't want complete strangers touching your child, try using a sling. People tend to not touch babies who are being carried by a parent that way... although some crazy people still try!

Coming home from the hospital, for clothes think comfort over cute... for you and the baby.

Not only is the online community for MamaSource great, but so is BabyCenter. You can "join" the birthclub for your estimated birth month and make great friends with other women across the country with the same birth month as you. You'll all go through the same experiences (pretty much) together!

Congratulations, J.! Consider yourself so blessed! We came to earth to get a body and to gain experience, and being pregnant is one of those experiences that in a hundred different ways ties us to the women around us--our sisters. No matter what happens in your pregnancy, remember this: it has happened before to some woman, at some time, and most of all, that Heavenly Father knows you, He knows exactly what will happen to you and to your baby during this process, and that you can go to Him at any time in prayer for love and support. Educate yourself the best you can--don't rely completely on what other people say (i.e. "old wives tales") because while there is great wisdom in the experiences of others, there is also some very good medical information that can help you make wise decisions. Listen to your heart AND your doctor. Educating yourself will help you to be prepared for any "hiccups" along the way--things that you aren't expecting. Most of all, I think the best thing that I have learned from 7 pregnancies and deliveries is that each time is unique and wonderful and hard. Go with the flow. Be patient with yourself. Things have a way of working out. Take care!
L.

Read through most of them but don't know if I saw this one - %100 Cocoa Butter on your belly to stop stretchmarks. Worked like a charm til I got lazy my last 2 weeks of pregnancy, and sure enough, they popped up and I've had the souvenir since. Remember only %100! You can get the sticks at Rite Aid, Longs, Wal Greens or other pharmacy type stores.

Wanted to add another check to the Doula vote. They're about $300 but so worth it. Some of the less experienced ones do it for free as part of their training. My husband is a very supportive and caring person but when it came down to it - a doula would have noticed when not to have visitors to let me sleep right before I gave birth. They'd probably massage you too.

Kegels, walking every day, yoga and rasberry leaf tea will make your birth much more easy by stretching necessary muscles you'll be using.

Pull the prego card any and every time and as soon as possible. Boarding flights first, getting primo seats at movie premieres, etc. Yes, you don't have to wait in line

They're much more easier to take care of inside of you. =)

Enjoy it, this is your time! Congrats!!

The first thing would be to lather your skin with lotion! Put it on your tummy, hips, back, and even your thighs.

If you nurse be prepared to not sleep. No one really told me how bad it would actually feel to get no sleep. Try setting your alarm clock for every 2 hours one night just to get a feel for it. Make sure you pump as much milk as possible so someone else can help feed also. Start pumping the day your milk comes in.

I hope these are helpful, these are just things I wish someone would have told me.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Here are some things I wish I would have known or that I am glad I did....some people already said, but it's important to do.

Of course you'll need to stay active and eat healthy.

Keep putting on the cocoa butter (morning, afternoon, and night).

Do your kegel exercises (sorry I don't know how to spell it).

I think keeping a diary about what is going on with you, is a great way to look back on this amazing time in your life.

Know that you might be moody, but try not to let it get the best of you.

I think reading as much as you can, is great... but know that everybody is different. Reading is more about preparing you for anything that can, will, and might happen.

Go to the class that your Doc recommends.

Take lots of pictures.

Get the Body pillow. It is so comfortable!

Have a list of your family and close friends that you want to notify when you are in labor and ask someone to call them for you when it's time.

CHERISH EVERY MOMENT!!!

I hope this was helpful. Good Luck and I wish you the best.

I think the things that were most shocking to me were things that happened during and after the birth. It is a very messy deal, lots of blood, and sometimes you pee or poop during the delivery while you are pushing!!! I was also shocked by the fact that my tummy didn't "deflate" after the baby was born, and that I walked around looking pregnant for weeks afterward~I learned to NEVER go anywhere without the baby so people wouldn't ask when I was due!

Hi J....I wanted to say congratulations and read what advice others have given to you. I was hoping to share some of those tips in a fertility support group that I'm involved in every other Tuesday night at Richland Hills Church of Christ called the Hannah Group. Since we started meeting, we've had 3 pregnancies in our group and another soon-to-be-
pregnant by faith through invitro! The power of prayer has
really been awesome as these women turn over their dreams of
being moms to God and God has blessed them! Anyway, I wanted
to get great tips to pass on to our Hannah girls...I love
seeing advice woman-to-woman on this great MamaSource website!
Blessings to you, hubby, & baby!
C.

My feet grew a size and a half during pregnancy and never went back down.
Sometimes you just get stretch marks. I didn't gain any weight during my pregnancy and used all the creams and my stomach is solid stretch marks.
It takes a couple of months for your regular clothes to fit after pregnancy.
Anyone that offers help, let them help. Especially if it is cleaning, laundry, dishes or dinner.
You can still have labor pains months after you have the baby. I had a very quick labor and I had pains up to about 3 months after. One night I woke up and thought it was worse then actual labor.
You can not imagine how much you will love your baby. It will change you forever for the best.
Good Luck. Enjoy your pregnancy.

1.) I wish someone would've told me that I would not keep the big boobs.

2.) Been told about stretch mark creams before the birth of my fourth child.

3.) That I would have to go through the last pregnancy alone.

Nanc

i didn't read all your responses, so this might be a repeat, but my favorite book to read while pregnant (i have a 3 year old and a 4 month old - and i read the book both times) is Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. it's a funny pregnancy book - everything the doctor won't tell you - is how they advertise it. it's a hoot and all true! congrats on your first. my advice is read - read all the time - read like a crazy person. then when the baby gets here - keep reading.

I wish I had known about HEARTBURN!!!!!! I never had it in my life, and I could not get rid of it when I was pregnant. And gas pains. The inability to sleep on my tummy. I wish someone had told me how much I would love the little thing growing inside of me. That when he was born, I would cry for days afterwards, just thinking about how little and perfect he is, how good of a job I had already done.
Congrats, a million times again!!!
Be sure to let us all know what you're having, and keep me up to date with how its all going!!!

I agree about reading about breastfeeding or going to a La Leche meeting, if you are planning to breastfeed.
Also, I wish I had read Marc Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child. It talks about baby's sleep habits from birth through childhood.
Also, I wish someone had told me that even after they sleep through the night, they are early wakers. According to Weissbluth, a baby's biological clock has them waking between 6 -7 am. So, no more sleeping in until 9 or 10 am.

Congrats! I know this may sound funny to a lot of people, but this is the one thing that I wish someone would have just said to to me. They say when you have to push you'll just know, because you will feel like you have to push. What they didn't say is that you know you ahve to push because it feels like you have to have a serious bowel movement! I wish you a healthy pregnancy and baby!

R.

To lower my expectations, not try to worry about being "perfect mom" or retaining every baby book I ever read. How much instinctually comes to you will be amazing! That the love you get from that baby, just holding him or her is just priceless! Best advice, remember all the advice but you will find your own way and be wonderful at being a mom!
Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!
Another piece of advice, never be too far away from a bathroom!! As you will be going ALL THE TIME!!! :)

Congrats on being pregnant. I have only read some of the responses, but the ones I read are great. Here are a few more suggestions.

1. Invest in Rolaids or Tums. They will become your new best friend if you have heartburn.
2. Also buy lots of comfortable pillows of different shapes and sizes because in your third trimester you will need all the comfort.
3. Advice and help is good but dont be afraid to tell people when you have had enough. They will understand.
4. Do a tour of the facility where the birth will happen, Get to know the surroundings you will be in.
5. Also, if your married, engaged, or dating someone ask them for their opinion because this is a huge thing for them too.
6. Look in to all methods of pain control,because you never know what will work for you.
7. Pack a bag for the hospital at least a month in advance.
8. Make sure you have a birth plan with your dr. already discussed before the day comes.
9. Last but not least be ready for the most amazing experience you will ever have when you hold your child for the 1st time

I've read through most of your replies...overwhelming!! I've had two babies and they were similar pregnancies, HUGE differences in labor and delivery!! The most important thing I can suggest to you is to get a Dr. or midwife that you really like, don't be afraid to change 2-3 or 50 times! Find someone that will LISTEN to you. My first delivery was terrible simply put because my midwife wouldn't listen to me, I'm not going into details as to not freak you out. My second delivery, new Dr...it made all the difference in the universe. So, get a Dr. or midwife that you are comfortable with and that really listens to you and your concerns. Also, sometimes you are going to think "What have I done!" and that's okay!! Peole always make off like being a mom is the best thing in the world, and it is overall, but we'd all be lying if we didn't say there were days, or minutes or even split seconds that we second guessed ourselves and our super-mom abilities!!
Welcome to the club!!

Someone posted something similar below, but the best advice I got was to be aware that you may feel emotional (crying frequently), sad, and have moments that you wonder if you made a mistake after having the baby. It has been an incredible, amazing, awe-inspiring year- to fall head-over-heels in love with a new little person and discovering life through new eyes (and of course, challenging). But those first weeks and months of sleep deprivation, nursing/feeding issues, and generally being responsible for a new baby were ROUGH. Especially if your baby is colicky or fussier than others at first like ours. Asking for help when you need it is key. And just know that things will get easier again.

As a mama-in training, I have found that I have really honed in on my confidence and intuition- both important things in making decisions for my baby. Listen to your gut, and don't ever be afraid to ask your doctor or pediatrician questions, as many as you need to feel comfortable making decisions regarding your pregnancy, birth and child's healthcare. You always have the power to make decisions, and don't ever feel "rail-roaded." While I don't feel that doctors are out for fear-mongering at all, they do have a responsibility to look out for ANY complication, sometimes even when it is only a remote possibility. And sometimes all this extra information can stress you out. A doula can be a great advocate during your birth, as well as your partner.

Enjoy every moment because it will end! Congratulations!! The other thing I wish someone had said or not said, would have been to leave out the horror stories of labor and simply remind me of the truth - that God created me and my body to have the precious baby I was carrying - He chose me to be his mother!!

Wow...I'm a little late to respond but my best advice is to write EVERYTHING down. I recorded everything in a calander, from the first movement I felt when I was pregnant to my 7 mos. first smile. This way you can always look back if you have any questions or want to compare any notes with anyone. Good luck and enjoy it and Congratulations! You will miss being pregnant.

I guess you opened a can of worms huh? There is so much to tell, and I always worrying about scaring new moms. The most important thing to remember is this is your pregnancy and your thing. I agree with some of the other posters-you need to do it the way that feels right to you, not succumb to either peer pressure or obgyn pressure. AND you may change your mind about that mid stream. (Halfway through my pregnancy I realized I hated the approach my obgyn took and I really wanted natural labor, so I got in touch with a midwife and "poof" -I was much more comfortable with the whole situation, even though it was more challenging in a way.
Yes, have supportive people around you. Like another poster, my mother was not that person and neither were some of my single friends. But I made new friends, etc. I guess I would say, be prepared as much as you can, how much life changes and relationships can change. Flexibility is key.
In retrospect, I feel I spent way too much time worrying about the pregnancy itself and not enough preparing for the after effects, aka, the baby. That baby is what is going to rock your world. You will love (and be loved)in a way you have never loved before, and you will be more challenged then you have ever been before. Trust me. It is true. Try to prepare for the physical stress you will embark on after the baby is born and have whatever help you can. If you can afford to hire a doula for instance-do it! Breastfeeding can be challenging but don't give up! It is totally worth it in every way and you will have a healthier baby who is more closely bonded with you. Nature knows what she is doing. Trust her and trust your own deeper instincts as a mom. Best of luck to you and yours.

1. forget stilettos, the only shoes that fit for 3 mos prior and 3 mos after were a pair of my husbands flip flops (I had some massive balloon feet and ankles!)
2. When you're swollen and exhausted it's OK to resent those thin perky well rested people who say "oh I miss being pregnant!"
3. When I got home I wasn't going to wear anything but my nursing bra and underwear (or pants if I got cold) for at least the first month
4. Leaving the house alone with the baby, and timing the outings to fall between feedings meant I didn't get ANYTHING done for about 3 mos! (I was completely soaked by the time we got called back during her first pedi appointment)
5. Once I got the technical details worked out the fun amazing stuff became much more evident.
6. I didn't get more than 3 hrs sleep in a row for 3 solid mos!
have a good one!

I wished I would of listened and taken all those naps that I wanted. There really was not as much time after the baby is here. I also wished I would of allowed and asked for more help. Let your spouse do any and everything that he is willing too. You really do need your rest.

Hello J.. Most importantly... congratulations. What an exciting time for you. It sounds like everyone else has covered just about everything. When I was pregnant... I read EVERY book and was glad that I did.... However, I wish I had read more prior to her arrival about breastfeeding and all that comes AFTER the baby arrives. I have found that BABY 411 is the best book for before the baby and after. It is a must purchase! My family and I call it the "Baby Bible." I would also recommend the Happiest Baby on the Block book or video if you are short on time. Best of luck to you. Pamper yourself and cherish every moment.

I wish I would have know how important it is to take Omega Fish Oils.

I wish I had been more personally informed about labor. I took a lot of things the doctor said as gospel and didn't do my own reading until later in my 1st pregnancy. By the time I realized my own thoughts on things, it was too late to switch doctors (or so I thought).

My personal favorite books: Ina May's guide to childbirth, Ina May Gaskin; and Birthing from within. I used a midwife and labored at home the second time around with much better results from a spiritual/ personal growth perspective.

The process of having a baby changes every pregnant woman- it can be a journey into being a vibrant and powerful woman, or it can be a process of having choices taken away and feeling like we are unimportant in the birthing. I had it both ways, and the results of y homebirth were fabulous.

Look into homebirth, or birthing at a birth center (or going to the Farm Community). The perspective on what women are capable of is very different in the midwifery model of care.
Congrats and good luck!

That you can poop while you are pushing during labor.

Congratulations!

First off you are going to get people telling you that you have to eat this and that and make sure that you only eating 100% healthy food. Although I do not think that is bad advice, I will tell you what my doctor told me "If you can keep it down then it is good for you." With my second pregnancy there came a point that the only thing that I could eat was Chicken nuggets/fingers, potato wedges, and banana splits. I was afraid that my blood pressure would go through the roof and gain a lot of weight. But in fact I lost weight because if I ate anything else I would throw up and my blood pressure was fine. The reality is that you need to make sure that you are getting some nutrition and any nutrition is better than no nutrition. The other thing, like someone else I went through a miscarriage and I want to say enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can. Make memories of it and have fun. Make every moment valid and good. There are going to be times that you will cry for no reason.And it is ok. The other thing is to not listen to other peoples horror stories and personalize it. Otherwise you will go crazy. Good Luck and Congratulations again my heart goes out to you and hope that you have a marvelous pregnancy.

I did read all the posts, I also wish I had the Belly Sculpture done with my 3rd(our 4th), but "never got around to it". Knowing Sommer was our last, I really regret it. I only saw one post reguarding that. I agreed with almost all else, I too gained 58 pounds with my 1st, really hard to lose, only gained 32with our 2nd. easy to lose, and with our Sommer, 23 pounds, came home from Hosp. next day couldnt tell I was ever pregnant( unless I put on a form fitting top). Listen to your instincts,they will aways guide you right. Eat right, rest, easier said than done, when Sommer was born our not quite 3 year old had never once slept through the night, I guess I was lucky, I just adjusted, but I was often slap-happy. Anyway, enjoy being pregnant, dont let stereo-types bother you, my first 2 were picture perfect, my 3rd, I was sick until the day she came.You will look back and rejoice. Best to You, God Bless, A.

The advice that helped me the most was with morning sickness, to take my prenatal vitamin at night, because a lot of the time, the vitamin is what makes some pregnant women feel sick. Once I started to take my prenatal vitamin right before bed, I felt so much better throughout the day. Good luck!

1. you are clumbsy, and emotional
2. Sex is more enjoyable.
3. You will never be more beautiful than when you are preg!
4. Wear a maxi pad (the ultra thins are fine) at all times for the unexpected laugh, sneeze, cough.
5. Towards the end of the pregnancy your breasts will leak when you hear a baby crying.
6. People are nicer to a preg lady.
7. Congradulations!

So many things to share, but most of all just take the time to enjoy it. When people ask you all the typical pregnancy questions, embrace them as they are just trying to share in your excitement. Since this is your first pregnancy, it is the only time it will be only all about you, because with any future ones you will already have a little one to care for. I would spend more time doing things to ease the transition for those first few days at home. Make sure to have all your nursing supplies ready and know how to use them. Have bottles sterilized and figure out how to use your pump (hopefully you won't need it right away, but if you do, it will probably be stressful enough). I would watch for nursing bras on clearance or on sale ahead of time. You will want ones that are more along the lines of sports bras for comfort while sleeping and being at home and some that are more fitted with underwire if you are out and about. Obviously, the sports bra type don't have much shape or support, so you can probably estimate your size ahead of time. I would also suggest having a group of your friends or family prepare meals for you or prepare them ahead of time. Even if it is not something you need for your family, it is sure nice to have when you have visitors. I would also suggest having a gift card for the grocery store and for Target so when you are out of something someone can pick things up for you and you don't have to send cash. Best wishes!!

Congrats! You will get tons of advice, and you have to do what works best for you. Take good care of yourself - eat right and get rest. There is nothing like being pregnant and having a baby in this world! Also, I read the beginning of What to Expect the First Year - you might not have time to read once the baby is here and the book is full of great information about what goes on with your baby.

Good luck!

Congrats! Wonderful having all these moms share advice hope you are close with other moms you can share with as well. Most of my friend have children and they are my best resource for any question. But keep in mind every preganancy is different and every child is different so adapt to what feels right for you. The recommendation for the Jenny McCarthy was right on very funny. Pregnancy Brain- Never heard of it until I was pregnant but for multi tasker it threw me for a loop. You forget things mid thought. Do things wrong you have done a million times before. Don't worry it just happens just warn those around you and your boss. My boss didn't believe me until his wife was pregnant and she had it too. Pamper yourself. Toward the end of each of my pregnancies I could not reach my feet so I treated myself to a pedicure and it was worth it. Even if my clothes wern't fashionable my toes looked good and it feels so good to soak your feet. My shoe size went up one whole size and has not gone back so buy something a little bigger and comfortable. Don't be surprised by interest from complete strangers, some may actually want to touch your belly bump or ask personal questions. Very surprised my first pregnancy but prepared for my second. I think a pregnant woman has a warm aura that invites people in. Heartburn. Not everyone gets it but I did with both. Tums helps in the beginning but towards the end I had to take a Zantac every day (check with your ob). Everyone talks about food cravings but I had the opposite. My food aversions were to odd things. Couldn't even get near grapes. I could smell them a mile away and only with my first. So my advise is be prepared as much as you can but be open to all the wonderful crazy things that happen and enjoy.

Mom of 2 boys 3yrs and 1yr.

I just saw this and thought I would say I wish someone would have told me that being pregnant is not exactly a bed of roses you will feel muscles ache that you never knew you had and I was always calling people I have a pain and I would tell them where it was and they would just say its normal. I drove my dr. crazy. The other thing is a due date means absolutely NOTHING the baby will come when its ready!!! I had to be induced because I past my due date and was the size of a blimp and completely swollen. Anyways Congrats a baby brings so much joy to your life and you never feel a love in your heart more so than when you hold your child for the first time. On another note enjoy pregnancy even with the bad stuff once its gone you miss it. My dr told me that when you start feeling your babby move it will become routine and he was right

One thing my doctor said that stuck with me is that you aren't eating for two... you should be eating healthy for one. The baby will get what it needs.

One thing I was glad I did was to keep all family out of the hospital when I was in labor. I didn't want my husband to have to run back and forth between me and them, and when our daughter was born, we didn't have to share her with anyone. That first few hours we had with just the 3 of us was incredible!

The best advice I got was about parenting, not necessarily being pregnant. Someone said to listen to everyone's advice... about co-sleeping, vaccines, discipline, etc... and then take out what works for you. You don't have to find one book or school of thought and stick with it. It just might not work for you and your child. So, I read several books, and tweaked things from each idea to make it work for us.

Congrats!!!
1 - One thing I didn't know was how often the baby would get the hiccups in utero. It took me a couple of times to figure out what it was. So funny!
2 - While I agree about not reading too much (I didn't read What to Expect, b/c I heard it was a little too strict), I would highly recommend Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. Whether or not you want to go for a natural birth, it's a wonderful book, full of great, positive birth stories that will help you prepare for your own birth. Every birth is different, but it's not a bad thing to have an idea about what to expect.
3 - Something I did that I'm so happy about now, was I had my husband take a picture of me just about every week during my pregnancy. It's so much fun to go back and see my belly getting bigger and bigger.
4 - Walk and do prenatal yoga.
5 - Something my yoga instructor told us...open throat means open vagina - make deep gutteral sounds during labor to help move along dilation.
5 - Drink lots of milkshakes, relax, smile and enjoy your pregnancy! :)

Yeah for you!!! I'm not sure if you are still intersted in advice (you have tons of reponses) but here's what I've got... don't be afraid to call your doctor with questions, no matter how stupid they may seem, I had a miscarriage and got prgnant with my daughter 2 months later and freaked out over ever pain, and I called, it's better to know something then be scared and stressed about nothing. As far as a birth plan goes, be careful, what I wanted and what my daughter wanted where totally different, she decided to be just over a week late and finally had to be helped out with an emergency c-section. Not my plan but the outcome was the same -a beautiful baby!!! Good Luck:)

Splurge on a prenatal massage (or a few if you can) in the third trimester or whenever you start getting really uncomfortable. I had my first and only at 39 weeks and it was amazing! I wish that I had done it a bit sooner also. I found Meredith through Sweet Pea Studio.

Hey J.. CONGRATULATIONS!

Looks like you've received tons of advice and suggestions. I have one or two more to add to the lot for your consideration.

First---a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer called HOW TO RAISE HAPPY CHILDREN. It's an awesome book filled with wonderful ideas and information to guarantee happy, healthy children.

Second----Contact the La Leche organization. You can find their website with Google, I'm sure. They will be excellent support for you should you happen to choose to breast-feed your child. I highly recommend this feeding method as it is the healthiest, safest way to ensure a healthy beginning for your baby with little to no discomfort to the mom!

Follow your own motherly instincts which seem to kick in almost immediately. Advice from others is great to consider but the heart knows which is best for your child. They are all different and require different methods of communication, discipline, and love-expressions to be shown to them.

Enjoy being pregnant, J.! it goes by sooo quickly so make the most of it.

GOD BLESS YOU and your hubby and your newest family member.

oh yeah, listen to your inner voice and the child will tell you his/her name! you'll be surprised what a difference a name can make in a little person.

good luck,
D.

I am soooo glad I took a childbirth class with my husband at the hospital before birth (make sure you take classes that end at least a month before your due date, you never know if baby'll come early or not) The info we learned in class helped us both SO much!
You CAN say no to the Dr!!
You need to move around while in labor, NOT be flat on your back in bed (or it'll take much longer and maybe hurt more)

My pregnancy was worse than my labor. I'd be glad to give birth again and nurse (and lose weight from it!) again but NOT be preg again. But the experience is different with each baby, I hear, even with the same mama and stuff.

EAT. But not for two! Always strive to eat healthy - baby wont eat the junk food, so it'll stick to YOUR body. Always have a little something - crackers, fruit, nuts, to keep from getting hungry and then nauseous. If your morning sickness is in the morning (mine was at night mostly) it helps to nibble on a couple crackers when you open your eyes, before you even get up.
DRINK DRINK DRINK WATER!!! Set a big water bottle in the bathroom and everytime you go (which will be often!) DRINK.
WALK (or whatever exercise you choose) It'll help with the delivery afterwards.
Make time for your husband. Dont shut him out during or after. HE IS IMPORTANT TOO! Be respectful and dont expect him to read your mind.

I read some various baby books and such. The only one (besides What To Expect) that I really remember is the one with the advice (baby whisperer? babywise? dont remember) to start baby as you mean to go on. Meaning, if you dont want to rock your toddler to sleep every time, let your baby learn to go to sleep on its own. If you dont want a toddler sleeping in bed with you & your husband (and maybe the next one as well), let baby start in its own bed. If you dont mind a toddler pulling on you, then let baby do it. If you dont mind a 6yo following you into the bathroom then let your 3yo do it. And so on. (Of course within reason but the principle is an important one.)

You have alot of great advice; however, I didn't see much on maternity clothes. Target and Kohl's have great clothes for a reasonable price. Find some nice "skinny" maternity jeans or pants that you love and the ones you wear at 5 or 6 months pregnant will probably be the ones you wear home from the hospital. Also, have a "slimming" loose shirt that you look nice in to wear home from the hospital, especially for photos. Make sure your hair is how you want it before the due date. Bring your camera and camcorder to the hospital. If you plan to breastfeed, nursing camisoles are wonderful.
I have a 2 1/2 year old and soon-to-be 4 year old, both girls and I loved being pregnant with both of them the entire time. Enjoy the whole process, it will go by quick. Also, have a nice pregnant photo taken, I have snapshots, but never a studio photo and I wish I would have. Congratulations!

One thing I did that I think helped to keep both of my labors down to less than 3-hours was that from the moment I found out I was pregnant until the day before I delivered I walked a mile everyday. Near the end it was slow with pauses here and there, but I think the walking was good.

I did lamaze for the first pregnancy, but for the second I took a pregnancy yoga class everyweek and just used those breathing techniques- worked better in my mind..

I just saw your posting, so you might not get it, but ...
-Use a doula!!!! I had one (my friend who was an OB nurse) for each of my labors before we knew the name "Doula".
-When everyone is giving you conflicting advice, go with your gut feeling. Don't feel like you have to defend your actions, either.
-In the same vein, listen to your gut before you listen to your doctor or the baby's father - although don't forget that the father deserves a significant role in the decision-making, if he's available.
-Don't let yourself be afraid of the way you feel during your labor and delivery. Fear increases tension and pain. Don't allow yourself to panic. The more relaxed you allow yourself to be, the easier it will be.
-Ask your OB what his/her C-Section rate is. Avoid a physician who's C-Section rate is above 25% (unless it's a high-risk practice).
-Talk to your baby in utero. Read anything and everything out loud to the baby. I know it sounds silly. I know two women (they don't know each other) who read to their unborn first children. Both children were at the top of their academically gifted groups throughout school. Now, these two 23 year olds are both way ahead of their peers in their international Masters' programs in college. They both have impressive scholarships. It might be coincidental, it might not.
Congratulations!

I haven't read the responses, so I apologize if I'm repeating. Get the "Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" from the library or see if a friend has a copy for you. Someone lent me her copy. That book will tell you the "real deal." I didn't like it at first because I thought the style of writing was a little too basic, but the truth is, it's the only book that tells you like it is and what to expect. The only surprise I had as a result is that I am one of the women who swells even more AFTER delivery. My ankles were so swollen for the first 3 days, and I stayed swollen for almost 2 weeks, then suddenly I had dropped all of my pregnancy weight except 7 lbs by 8 weeks. (5 months later I still haven't lost those 7 lbs!)

Good luck --- and congratulations!
M.

I wish I had known more about the process our bodies go through after birth, say the first six weeks.
I wish I had had more help with meals, laundry, etc, during the first three months. Frozen healthy meals would have been wonderful!
I wish I had not gone back to work when she was 2 1/2 months part time for a month and a half. I think that early bonding time is most important. I have not worked away from her since.
I wish I had had more community, closely related and close in proximity. I came here initially for school and decided to stay. We do have some great friends here. I am happy she is attending a wonderful school about a block away. We are a walk away from our grocery and other stores. We live a walk or Marta away from entertainment. We live within a great community.
I wish we had lived closer into the city. Getting around without having to put her in a carseat would have been so much better. I used the New Native Sling and the Ergo for travel when we did not need to use a carseat.
Our homebirth experience was absolutely wonderful. She was born in the bathtub! I wish I had had plans for the birthing tub sooner. While we had a most beautiful birth experience, I have since met someone who would have been the perfect midwife for us.
I wish her father had been part of the birth experience.
I am happy I have chosen to go natural/organic with everything, especially her health care. The few times she has processed symptoms, it has been rarely more than a 101 fever that lasted a few hours on and off.
Oh, I just noticed you wrote "being pregnant". Well, I guess all these things are important to plan before the babe comes!
I felt pregnancy and the birth process supported me in being a better Mommy to my daughter. When things came up emotionally, I looked for the reason and how I could be better regarding the issue. Then I handled what I needed to handle. Sometimes it was just a matter of sanctifying the moment and sometimes I needed to take a particular action.
Off to school to pick her up! I hope this helps. Enjoy every moment you can always! Live your life like it is the greatest blessing to be alive! Offer that kind of peace to your child! And, to those around you! That is the best I can offer for you.
Many, many blessings!!!!!!
S.

Congratulations! I am also pregnant for the first time, due in December with a little boy (I'm so excited)! Every pregnancy is different, but for me I was pretty sick through about week 17 (there were weeks when I hardley kept anything down) The hardest part was almost everything I read and everything people told me was that as soon as you hit the 2nd trimester (week 12 or 13) you'll feel fantastic, it's the "honeymoon phase" of pregnancy. For me I was even more sick for the 1st two weeks of that trimester. So I guess my advice is don't believe everything you read or hear because truely it's different for everyone! I hope you're lucky and aren't sick too much, but if you are, keep a toothbrush, toothpaste, and hair tie in your purse so it's handy wherever you are. And remember whatever symptoms you have it's so worth it when you get to see them in an ultrasound, or hear their heart beat, or feel them start moving! Best wishes!

That you can get Eclampsia after delivery and that you can get it with each child. Scary stuff! I was extremely sick after my third, it is extremely rare, but happens. Watch for headaches and know your body and what's not right.

Also, when you are in labor and delivery don't be afraid to tell them what you want and need. You have to be pushy with them or they will run the show for you.

Hi J.,

Occasionally, I look at my sweet 9-year-old daughter and remember vividly the wild ride that was our birthing experience. My Mom advised me to be ready to go early (each of her babies had come early and fast), but we had no idea that my labor would be two hours flat of STAGE 3 labor -- I never went through stages 1 and 2! My husband drove like Dale Earnhardt to the hospital, and we barely made it in time. I walked in at 10 centimeters dilated, and she was out in 17 minutes and 4 pushes!

I pass this along, because the large majority of first-time moms experience a long and often arduous labor, such that the quick ones aren't even discussed in childbirth classes -- like the one we took. I felt that was a disservice to the admittedly few labors that progress quickly, creating some very tricky logistics issues.

Anyway, please just keep in mind that this does happen, and you would do well to have a plan in place. You know, keep your legs shaved, cuz there isn't time for that when 'the time' comes! ;-) Enjoy your pregnancy and the whole experience!

S. A.

I wish I'd known about the discussion boards at www.mothering.com (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/)...before my son was 8 months old!!! What a wonderful wealth of information for pregnancy, birth and all things motherhood!

Nobody ever told me that it is dang near impossiable to shave "down there" when you are big pregnant. I know I know it sounds like common sence that you wouldn't be able to but for some reason I didn't think it would be a problem. It was, only shave when you need to.
And you always hear people say that you will love your baby more than anything and its kinda like "duh" then you have the baby and you realize that you didn't even know you where capable of loving something or someone so much. Its truly amazing.
Congrats on the pregnancy!

BEST advice was to read the book "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer. I wish I had known my options and had been better informed for my first. It's a wonderful experience - enjoy every bit of it and take care to eat well.

My best!

The only advice I would give is 3 things:

1. Don't listenn to the horrible stories that mom and grandma and great-grandma have to tell. Medicine is far more advanced than it was when they were having babies and the same will be true when your little one has a baby.

2. Be open to birthing options. You decide what you think is best for you and baby. Do you want a hospital or a birthing center. Do you want a natural, water or pain-free medicated birth. What ever decision you make - be confident in it and don't listen to what others say. Everyone has an opinion. Go into this being positive and it's okay to be scared of what is going to happen. I've had two babies and both were different and I was just as scared the second time as I was the first time. Everyone is scared of the unknown.

3. Pick a doctor that respects your decisions. Don't let them pressure you into something you don't want. Use your mother's instinct - even though baby isn't here that doesn't mean that you don't have a feeling of something is wrong.

what a great question! i wish i had known about this web site the first time i was preg. here is the one thing that no one ever told me! breast feeding is soooooooo hard! i took a class before hand and still so hard. the lactation consultant at the hospital was no help at all and by the time i came home my nipples were bleeding because my little girl had latched on wrong and after that kind of start it is really hard to continue when you're in such pain. especially pain you didn't expect. if you know that going in maybe it can be prevented. force the lactation c. to help you because i am sure they are a wealth of knowledge but they must be overworked because i didn't see her enough with either of my two daughters while in the hospital. my advice would be to find someone you are close with who was successful with bf and ask them to help you from the start. also if there is anyway to keep visitors to a minimum or to stay away for the first few days whule you get the hang of bf that wouldve helped me. i had a ton of visitors and i get that they wanted to see the baby but brand new babies eat so often and i didn't really feel comfortable having my bob out in front of my in laws! best of luck it is so much fun!

Congratulations J.!

One thing you may have understood already from all the messages below: each pregnancy is so different that the needs will also be different.
Things don't need to be bad. I had a wonderful pregnancy (not any problem or side effects - if it wouldn't have been for the growing belly and moving baby, I wouldn't have noticed I was pregnant!). Then, I was lucky enough to have an easy and painless (nearly) natural delivery.

Advices that would fit any woman are few. Among them:
- Drink lots of fluids
- Eat various/nutritious/healthy foods
- Exercice regularly (and do your Kegels)
- Use cream against stretch marks (like cocoa butter...) on belly but also breasts, tights and bottom.

The most important is to enjoy during pregnancy and get prepared for the AFTER pregancy, when you're back home with a small baby. Your whole life will be changed for ever and the few first weeks are particularly difficult. Try to plan:
- Lots of cooked in advance meals in your freezer
- Get lots of sleep before delivery. You will experience sleep deprivation after arriving home!
- Get some training on breastfeeding
- Get done everything that needs to be done before baby arrives, because when baby will be there, it will be difficult to have anything done around the house
- If possible, try to get some help for the first few weeks (my mother came and stayed with us for 5 weeks and this was a blessing - I don't know if I would have surviced without her!)

Don't stress, relax and enjoy!

PS: my husband took a picture of my belly profile every moring and after 9 months, took it together as a one-minute video. This are nice souvenirs!

Congratulations!

Breastfeeding is harder (for some of us) than it seems like it will be. Use the lactation specialists at your hospital or find your own. Breatfeeding was hard for me, but totally worth it.

Wear a good fitting supporting bra during and after pregnancy to keep the girls lifted.

Good luck with everything.

TAKE THE DRUGS!!! I thought I was going to deliver 'all naturaly'. I am a a 24 yr. old mother of a 2 year old. I am (for the most part) kind of a tough girl. I was that first time mom (pregnant woman) that was all about not wanting my baby "drugged" up and wanted NO part of the whole drug thing.

HA HA HA HA... yeah right! I had a VERY difficult pregnancy. Was in and out of the hospital, blood transfusions, unexplianed sever abdominal pains (like doubled over pains), starting having contractions in May and I wasn't due until August, all in all it was a rough pregnancy... But SOOOO worth every minute of it!

I went in and my doctor broke my water at 5:30 pm. I was good until 8:15 pm when it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't breathe (I had all back labor) and then because I coudln't breathe everything else was... not good. I had an epidural and life was AWESOME!!! I even slept for about two hours for the first time in more then 72 hours. It was awesome!

They say that you can still feel a little bit of a burning sensatione when your pushing... I felt NOTHING! No pain at all!!! It rocked. Not trying to scare you. I just think that there is NO reason to put yourself through all that pain.

You've got NOTHING to prove! :-) Your having a baby! YEA!!! Congratulations!!! Good luck!

And yeah, the belly casts are SOOO much fun! I did mine. And my other two girlfriends that were pregnant. We were all due at the same time. It was fun if your comfortable with it it's also a fun baby shower thing to do. If your close with everyone there. LOL This requires you to be pretty much naked. LOL

You can order the kits on line but they are pretty ridiculiously expensive. You can go to Michael's Craft Store and get the same stuff for WAY cheaper! That's what we did.

Just go with the flow! Too much reading can make you paranoid, so stick with the basics on what to expect and how to parent after baby is born (good books have already been recommended). Birth plans are ok, but I recommend keeping an open mind. The goal is a healthy baby and healthy mom, so whatever happens to achieve those is a successful labor in my opinion. Don't stress. Lots of stuff is normal, so don't worry if your experience is not like others. I agree with others...I wish I had known how sore my nipples were going to be with breastfeeding in the beginning.

Hi J.,

Congrats on your pregnancy! There are a few things that I wish people had told me when I was pregnant:

1) Morning sickness lasts 24 hours a day - not just in the morning - but it usually passes by 15 weeks - so hang in there.

2) After you have the baby your feet will swell. Get a rocking chair with an ottoman - when you are up doing middle-of-the feedings, you will be thankful that you have the ottoman! I didn't order one at first, but got one immediately after the baby was born!

3) Breastfeeding doesn't always come "naturally" but if you stick with it for a few weeks, it will get easier and easier and you will love it! In the long run it is the healthiest thing for you and your baby and it is super easy once you get the hang of it

Congrats on your pregnancy!

J.

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If breastfeeding...Lanolin, Lanolin, Lanolin! After EVERY feeding. It will make ALL the difference to preventing skin breakdown.

Get a tub pad for your knees. And have your Mom or another Mom help with the baby's first few baths. It helps to see how to safely hold and wash the child.

Good luck!

J.,

If you have a healthy pregnancy, try to exercise as much as possible - it makes getting back in shape MUCH easier and work your arms and back as much as possible. Once the baby is born you will be carrying 20-30 lbs all the time with the carrier, baby and diaper bag.

I also saw a few posts about Lanolin. Start putting it on your nipples when you get to the hospital and use it EVERY time you feed. I followed a friend's advice on that an never had dry or cracked nipples.

God Bless you both!!!! Enjoy!

M.

I wish someone told me that toward the end of the pregnancy I would swell up like a balloon and that I would be very ahppy to have my ankles back!

Sticking to just the pregnancy part about it...REST. You are growing a human inside you...that takes more energy than you know. I am the type of person that has a constant "to do" list running in my head and resting was the HARDEST part of the pregnancy. I really had to learn to let things go...its OK to not have the laundry perfect or miss some stuff at the grocery store. Letting go of that type of stuff allowed me to actually give my energy to my son who was growing inside me.

Also, take your DHA!! Very important and the prenatals. Go get yourself a good sleeping bra and comfy clothes.

Other big thing...don't put off having the nursery ready. If I was to do it over again, I would have made sure the nursery was ready before the baby shower so that A)you had a place to put the gifts when you get home and B) you are ready mentally and physically if your little one decides to make his/her appearnace early.

OH...and the weight just MELTS off you if you breast feed!!! I am smaller now than I was before I got pregnant...that was a fun surprise :)

I wish I would have known with my first how incredible natural labor would be. I had to have a c-section due to my child being frank breech (wish I would have done more to try to turn her), I experienced everything with my second except for actually pushing him out. You hear horror stories - stay away from those! I absolutely loved going through labor. It was long but with The Bradley Method (highly recommend) it was manageable. Do your research.

Breastfeeding doesn't have to be hard. It is actually a very natural thing for women to do, so if you are struggling, then get help from a lactation specialist ASAP.

Trust your gut, even over your Dr.'s. They don't know everything. Ask a question to 3 different doctors and it is likely you'll get 3 different responses so always trust your Mommy gut. **This doesn't mean ignore what your Doctor says, just know that it is OK to question him/her.

Enjoy your pregnancy, it'll be over before you know it!

M.

Congratulations to you J..take very good care of yourself and your precious one you are carrying inside of you. Drink plenty of water. Walk and use plenty of shea butter on your tummy for the stretch marks.

Soda crackers at the head of your bed help with morning sickness before your feet hit the floor.

Labor is a little more intense than you thought it would be. It's like constipation, but once the baby is out it is such a relief you can't describe.

The enormous feeling of elation when you look at the most beautiful you've ever made in your life and realize there truly is a God....because you've just experienced a miracle.

How patient you're going to have to be as you have to listen to everyone of your friends pregnancy and delivery stories.

That nursing takes determination, but after the first 3 weeks it's really a bonding you don't want to miss.

How neglected and left out your husband is gonna feel no matter how much attention you give him. He'll look at you nursing the baby and feel he's getting cheated. Plus the breasts that use to be his for fun, are now hard and functional and off limits to him. Sometimes the happy times for you are the sad ones for him.

Eating foods in their freshest and raw state is the healthiest for you and baby.

Lamaze and childbirth classes early in your pregnancy are better than the later stages in my opinion. I never got to attend the final classes as I delivered early each time and didn't get the info on breathing techniques which I think would have helped.

Trying to have a natural birth helps you recover and heal so much faster than if you're drugged. You feel so much more in control of your self and the baby isn't so sleepy either. But perhaps you'll want to be drugged. Ha. Everyone's pain threshold is different and it's not like someone is cutting off leg type pain.

Don't feel like a failure if you have to have a c-section or can't breast feed. You're still gonna be a good mother and get a beautiful miracle.

Read lots of books and listen to soothing relaxing music. You'll be fine. Congrats! C.