What Would Your Reaction Be? (A Just for Fun Question)

Updated on September 22, 2016
T.D. asks from New York, NY
23 answers

this morning my sons teacher messaged me to let me know he had a coughing fit (allergy related) and told me they gave him a halls cough drop while he was in the office. i responded with cough drops are fine and i will send more tomorrow. fast foreward 5 hours i get a call that hes in the office coughing and is it ok to give him a cough drop? i oked the cough drop.

how would you feel about this? angry that they didn't ask the first time or that they didn't see the message response saying cough drops are ok and that i will send more tomorrow? i was nice on the phone, but after i hung up i got to thinking about it and wondered if my feelings were right or if i should feel differently about it.
i will update later with how i felt and what my irl friend said about it!

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So What Happened?

my friend was contacted and told that she needed to ahve current records and drs notes on file for her sons epi pen, (peanut allergy) she had turned the information in at the beginning of the second week of school. then i get a call about a secong cough drop.. most things that are going on in the office point to incompetence. i found it funny that they called to ask if he could have a cough drop if they would of asked him he would of said its not the first one i have had today.
she was a bit angered by the school staff and how they handle things. but like i said i found it a bit funny. and after i got off the phone with the school i was laughing about it.
i ask it as just for fun becasue nothing we say here online will change anything. so its all just for fun

hes on 24 hour allergy meds. but if mold or an allergin is present he will cough about it. he was not coughing prior to school.
last year school was a breeze, teachers and admin were on top of things and i didn't have any issues this year is so radically different that its hard to ajust and as a mom whos never dealt with situations like this before i want others opinions to see if i am over reacting or not.
and theres a few of you who should re read the question, as your answer is off base enough for me to know you didn't read it or didn't understand it and should of not replied.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

Not at all angry! Grateful they gave my son a cough drop in the first place and were willing to give him more instead of just sending him home. He must have a pretty bad cough. They easily could have sent him home the first time. And I'd realize they're busy and not worry about asking me twice. I agree with Marda that you should volunteer to get a better idea of the school and personnel. And I always give school employees the benefit of the doubt at first given limited budgets these days. I'm grateful for the fact people are still willing to work in schools and deal with complaining parents and kids who can do no wrong and classes that usually have too many kids.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I wouldn't be angry at all. This wouldn't even hit my radar of things to think twice about. My only concern would be my child's comfort but since the school didn't ask you to pick him up I would assume he is okay.

I'm confused why this is a "just for fun" question.

11 moms found this helpful

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J.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

This doesn't really feel (to me, anyway) likes it's a JFF question.

I sort of get the sense that if people here had said, 'yeah, i'd be so angry' that you might be inclined to admit to some anger here. Kind of like you are looking for others to put their stamp of approval on being angry with the school.

Sorry if this is not what you meant, but based on your recent posts, if I recall correctly, you've been angry about the parking lot and the principal as well as having some issues with a mom of an injured child being allowed to remain for so long in the classroom. So, when you ask how "we" would feel, it just feels to me that you're looking for justification. Saying in your SWH that you found it "a bit funny" that, too, sounds like you're hedging.

Mentioning your observation of incompetence in the office and adding that your friend is angry with the way the school handles things and asking whether you should feel differently--- all of these things tip the scale over to the impression that you do have some lingering anger and want to be supported in feeling this way. Again, sorry if you disagree, but those are your own words, and that's just where my thoughts went when I read this.

So, to answer your question: I would be grateful that they called me. I would assume that perhaps they didn't see the message and that is why they called the second time. I'd thank them and not give any more thought. If I had any concerns, I'd talk with staff, kindly, to ensure we are all on the same page. If I had any special instructions about giving my child medications in the future, I'd put it in writing and give it to the staff in the health office.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I would assume there was a staff change that happened in between calls or that there was just a miscommunication on their end. In either case, I wouldn't be angry, just glad that they took care of my child and didn't rush to send him home.

10 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

wouldn't faze me a bit. non-life-threatening issues can easily fall through the cracks. someone just missed your message.
i mean, if they interrupted a high pressure business conference call or some great afternoon sex with the husband i'd be annoyed. but not for long.
they have a lot of balls in the air at schools. if they drop one of the non-essential ones it behooves us to be gracious about it.
khairete
S.

9 moms found this helpful

V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I'd assume that the people in the office who called you (the 2nd time) hadn't gotten the message from your son's teacher (who presumably was in her classroom with the rest of her class). No reason to be upset. She just didn't forward that information (that you were sending cough drops tomorrow) to the front office, and really, there's no reason she should have, in my opinion.
You're way over thinking this. I'd be glad they gave him a cough drop and let it go. Around here, they aren't likely to give them anything not specifically set forth on their registration papers or filed with the nurse's office. And if you sent in any sort of medication (cough drops count as medication, even OTC ones) with your child, your child could get in trouble for having it in his/her possession without a prescription. Or if they didn't take it DIRECTLY to the school nurse's office to be kept there, and him sent to her when he needed one.
Absurd... but that's the way things are now.

8 moms found this helpful

R.A.

answers from Boston on

I honestly wouldn't think that much about it.. an epi pen documentation is a lot different then calling twice about a cough drop.. or am I missing something?

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E.B.

answers from Honolulu on

Well, I have a slight problem with the school giving a cough drop before checking with you. My daughter has extreme sensitivities to some food additives (not true allergies requiring an Epi-pen, but they certainly would cause her physical distress). Even a cough drop, if it were sugar-free, would be harmful.

But, I don't think I'd be angry in your situation, since your son apparently doesn't have food sensitivities or allergies. I'd be glad he's in a school that gives him the attention he needs. I'd assume that if he had medical issues that prohibited certain foods or over-the-counter meds, that plan would be in place. If it were ignored, I'd be furious.

But in this case I'd relax and be thankful that he was cared for.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

I think I'd be more impressed than annoyed. That's just me though - I know how chaotic school offices are, and how busy teachers are as well. Usually around here, they call you and tell you to pick up your child.

It sounds like the teacher sent you a message and then it must have been someone else from office who called later. She handled it earlier, and probably different staff on later in the office. Our volunteers look after the desk when our secretary takes lunch and goes on break.

I think they are just menthol - and maybe they asked your son if he'd already had them. I get you'd rather they asked you instead. I think I would let a cough drop go - if it were me. I'd kind of be grateful they allowed my kid to stay if he was coughing and maybe disrupting class.

ETA: Read your SWH

Obviously you have concerns about the school. My thoughts on this is that this wasn't a typical situation. The teacher, busy teaching a class of little kids, didn't have time to stop and call/text you while your son was having the fit. She gave a cough drop and when she had a moment, she or someone else informed you of how they dealt with it. Kind of like a little mini crisis. My kid has allergies and is asthmatic. If he was coughing badly - I would hope that they would use good judgement - which I think she did.

If you are concerned they didn't follow the policy - then find out what it is, and make sure you provide whatever your son will need at school - either parental note as you say, or doctor's order. First though - if it were me - I'd find out what the policy/rule is.

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J.T.

answers from Binghamton on

Maybe they're wondering what kind of incompetent mother sends their young kid to school with such a bad cough. Would that be fair? No. Just like it's not fair for you and your friend to be so judgemental about the school all the time. Sounds like you guys should start paying for private school. Then maybe it'll be perfect.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Was it the same teacher who contacted you both times? Perhaps it was two different adults? Maybe the secretary or two different secretaries? I don't know what the schools policy is on giving cough drops. Maybe they don't need permission, but thought it would be a courtesy to inform you/ask you. I know the teachers in my school aren't in constant contact with their emails, so just because I send a message I wouldn't assume they would have time to read it because they are teaching. I certainly wouldn't be angry because my child was given a cough drop without permission, nor would I be angry if someone called me to ask permission to give him a cough drop. I would appreciate the school calling to let me know if my child was suffering from a coughing fit. I would feel a little bad if my child were coughing so badly he had to go to the office twice in one day, most likely disrupting the class. I probably would have gone to the school after the first phone call to administer allergy meds to my child. If you feel that things aren't running as smoothly as they should at the school you could volunteer to help out. I know our schools are always looking for parent volunteers to come in a do photocopying, laminating, bulletin boards and various other jobs that help free up the school staff so they can pay more attention to the children.

ETA: Please send allergy meds (and prescriptions) asap if this is a reoccurring problem.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I would recognize that the school nurse's office is an astoundingly busy place and be happy that they helped my child at all. It wouldn't even occur to me that there would be anything to be angry about. Additionally, in our school system, you fill out a form at the beginning of the year that states whether or not you are OK with the nurse giving OTC meds like Tylenol or cough drops. What I would do, if anything, is suggest that your school district adopt a similar procedure so that they can just check the file and not have to worry about making phone calls home for permission for things like this.

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T.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

It wouldn't bother me. I think their immediate response was to help him and then realized that they probably should have asked you first. The 2nd time they decided to ask before giving the cough drop. I think it's a good thing. At my daughter's school they would have called and told me to come and pick her up. At least they are letting him stay.

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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm surprised they even gave him a cough drop. The schools I've worked in typically won't give kids anything the parent hasn't provided.

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J.W.

answers from Harrisburg on

I'm just happy they let him have a cough drop. My son's middle school didn't allow them, so stupid.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Sounds to me like they are being extra careful, and that there were a million things going on at school such that the message to the teacher (about sending in more) didn't get relayed to the office or added into your child's file. I can't blame them, with all the paperwork they have to do and all the kids with serious allergies and diseases that they have to deal with.

I'd be pleased that they are being extra careful, and I'd understand that cough drop didn't make it to the top of the secretarial to-do list. It could also be that the office had to verify that you meant that cough drops are okay anytime and that more than 1 per day is fine with you.

Can you say more about what your feelings are? I'm not sure why you are holding off on that, or why you are holding off on your friend's opinions. Was there something else in the message that made you think they were being incompetent or careless?

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C.C.

answers from New York on

Well this explains why that mother came to school with the boy whose arm was in the cast! She was worried about what the school nurse would do to him!

I think there's a difference between cough drops and an epi pen. Maybe they were worried about him having too many cough drops?

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

If he had a reaction to anything, they would be up a creek without a legal paddle.
Schools consider cough drops to be medicine - which is why students can't carry them with them.
Some kids are hyper allergic to everything.
Thank goodness yours isn't.
Just put in writing (on his record) that cough drops are alright and they should be fine going forward.

3 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm surprised he was given a cough drop...that's not legal in MD. Probably not in most states. If my kids are caught with them they get in trouble. Even when I was in school, I carried hard candy with me because it wasn't banned.

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

I am actually allergic to some types of cough drops. My throat will swell and close up. They should have called the first time. It is very weird that they didn't but did the second time. Schools are supposed to verify all medications, even cough drops. Them missing my return call wouldn't bother me, they are busy and things like that happen. But not calling the first time and mentioning it after the fact would bother me.

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K.C.

answers from Denver on

I'd be happy they gave my son something to ease the coughing. But I'd be surprised they didn't check with me FIRST since our school policy is they can't give any medication (I think cough drops would qualify in this case) without doctor's orders or my permission. They're really strict about covering themselves. What if the child had been allergic to something in the cough drops? They'd open themselves up to all sorts of trouble.

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R..

answers from San Antonio on

I was told if my child was caught with cough drops at school they would count as a drug and would be disciplined as such. Great a second grader with a " drug record" at school. Because of the stupid "zero tolerance" rules allows no exceptions.

I had to fill out paper work then have the doctor fill out paper work so my child could have some cough drops that had nothing in them but fruit pectin at school for cough due to allergy. She had to go to the nurse to get one and sit in the nurses office until she finished it. The next time she had a cough I got smart and just sent hard candy like peppermints with her and a note to the teacher. That worked better than sheets and sheets of paper to sooth your cough.

Your situation seem so weird that they are so lacks about medication at school.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Even cough drops need a doctor's note in our schools. They have a general list that the doc can check off each thing they can have. Then the doc signs it and it's on record at the school.

This way they can look in his record and see they have a doc's permission to do this. No problems legally.

I would go to the school and write a note stating that child can have a cough drop every 4 hours for coughing. BUT that coughing associated with an allergy attack needs a call to mom. Allergy attacks are NOT general coughing and are a possible medical issue that might need intervention. So I'd want to know each time that happened.

What if he was coughing every day when he entered the bathroom at school. That bathroom might have mold under the tiles or in the ceiling or something that was triggering the coughing attack. Addressing what is causing the coughing attack would be my main concern if it was ongoing.

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