What Would You Do? Dog Question

Updated on July 23, 2014
E.B. asks from Virginia Beach, VA
16 answers

We live in an apartment complex. Next door is a guy, probably around 30, has a very good job (something to do with computers), lives alone, never has guests, and is super into fitness (has 2 really expensive bikes, about a dozen pair of very expensive running shoes, and I know he runs long distance ultra marathons), and has expensive computers, a car and a motorcycle, and really nice suits. I've never seen him speak to another person.

When he speaks to us, it's hello as he passes by, usually heading out on his bike or going for a run. Nothing else. I know nothing about him except his name.

However, he owns a big dog. He leaves town early Monday morning and returns very late Thursday night, for work. Don't know where he goes but I do know he flies to other cities, so he's not here during the week.

The big dog is an Akita hound. This guy did speak to me long enough a couple months ago, when I was outside with my little dog, to ask if my daughter, who lives with me, would be interested in dog walking. She likes dogs, he said he'd pay $15 a day, and so we said ok.

My daughter is 22 but disabled due to multiple medical conditions, so this was a good way for her to earn a little money, have some responsibility, and most of all get up and out of the house. She goes to the apartment, lets herself in, hooks up the dog's leash, takes the dog outside to do his business, and brings him back in. I usually accompany her. I fill his water bowl and once in the morning I put food in his dish.

Here's the weird stuff: the guy never asks "are you free to take care of the dog next week?". He doesn't text me (we have exchanged numbers in case of an emergency) to tell me he's leaving town. He just goes. He does pay promptly and on time, but only by leaving cash with the dog's leash in his apartment, never in person.

And the dog is so lonely and lately, looks horrible. He's scratching his fur right off and his skin is bleeding (a little, like if you scratched an itch too much). Last week I texted the guy at the end of the week to inform him that the scratching and itching were worse. The guy was due home for the weekend as usual. He texted back "thx".

Well, we went over today as usual on a Monday afternoon, and the dog's fur looks worse. I texted the guy. He texted back "you might have to take him to the vet." Those are his exact words. No more, no less. And I noticed that he did not refill the dog's food bin. He buys 50 pounds at a time and empties the bag into one of those pet food bins. Last Thursday it was low and I texted him to inform him. I don't chat, I just say something like "your dog's ok. His food supply is really low." Nothing more, since the guy is not a chatty type of guy, which is fine.

Well, today, there was the same amount of food that was in the bin as last Thursday, like almost nothing. I texted the guy and he said "spread it out and give him dog biscuits and I'll get more food on Friday." I texted back "there haven't been dog biscuits for some time now" (I had told him that a month ago and he said the dog didn't need biscuits, although he had previously told us to give him one biscuit in the afternoon.) He then texted "pick up a small bag of dog food. I'll get his usual food when I get back."

No "please" or "would you" or "thank you" or anything. I'm not leaving any words out.

Is this guy just socially challenged? Or mistreating his dog? The $45 a week is nice for my daughter, and the dog at least gets a little attention, but this guy doesn't say thanks or please or even inquire whether we're available (sadly, we always are, since my daughter doesn't feel well and doesn't go out except to the doctor, but still...!). And now he says "you might have to take him to the vet? Vets charge money and I'm not putting money up front like that! Vet emergency visits are expensive! I will buy a bag of food, since I know it's just a few dollars and I won't have the animal starve.

If I did have to take the dog to the vet, would they understand? And bill him? I am not legally or in any way connected to this guy except that we share a wall and a sidewalk, so would the vet even let me bring the dog in? And consent to treat it? Maybe it's not the same as a human hospital, but I've never dealt with any other dog besides our little old dog.

And if this were my son, I would sure give him a talking to. You don't just tell someone "do this". But this isn't a formal contract to walk the dog, and like I said this is a neighbor with whom we've exchanged a dozen texts about the dog and about 20 actual words in person.

What kind of food would be best? I don't know where the guy buys his, but I suspect Costco and I'm not going to lug a 50 pound bag home, and pay for it up front. I know you're not supposed to switch foods all of a sudden, but this dog won't eat tomorrow, or he'll only eat a small portion if I don't do something.

I am not going to call animal control, because the dog does have a home, a bed, water, and a caretaker (my daughter) and he hasn't been beaten, but what do I do?

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

a couple of questions to answer: the guy only texts, doesn't talk on the phone. I tried calling him once or twice. So phone calls really are out. As for doggy day care, I can't really do that, as I must be available for my daughter at all times. She has a heart condition and passes out, and has Lupus and is in pain, so I don't have things scheduled, like taking the dog to day care and picking it up again, etc. And no, the dog is not really social and doesn't like other dogs very much. My daughter has a lovely little dachshund that is quite old, but who is my daughter's constant companion. The Akita doesn't like other dogs very much and my daughter's little dog gets stressed. And due to my daughter's medical needs, I really can't have another dog in the house. The little dachshund is no work at all, just sleeps next to my daughter and watches over her. I went to the store a little while ago and bought some Iams food and a couple cans of Purina that say "optimal oils for skin and coat problems". Thank you for all your suggestions and helpful insight. I have some thinking to do! And I need to change my profile, we moved from Denver to Austin, TX. That's another problem. This hound is so furry, it should be in the Yukon territory, not the deep south. It's suffering with it's long fur. I will call the vet in the morning and ask what would happen if I needed to bring a stranger's dog in. Thanks again everyone. You guys are awesome. Oh, and the $45 is because we only take care of it 1/2 day on Monday, all day Tues and Wed., and 1/2 day on Thurs. The guy feeds the dog (allegedly) Mon morning and comes home Thurs night. So it averages 3 days.

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

If he loves his dog he should re-home it. If he doesn't love his dog it should be easy to re-home it. Please ask what vet he goes to and what dog food he buys. The last thing this poor guy needs is an upset belly. I would get advice from the vet on the best way to proceed. He may even be underweight.

PLEASE talk to this guy about his dog. The poor guy can't speak for himself.

Added: If you are in Denver I know some dog lovers there that could probably find him a great home and love him to death!

6 moms found this helpful
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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would like you to keep caring for the dog, because you are all he's got, poor thing.

I would keep communicating on his level. In response to the vet post, you could text back: "Call the vet and prepay for the visit and I will take him." (once he agrees, then you can ask for the vet's address)

For the food, I'd buy the food and treats and leave the receipt with the leash.

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Oh, man. That is tough. An Akita needs exercise. The dog is becoming neurotic because he doesn't have enough human interaction, and is now resorting to scratching and biting behaviors. He might even be developing an allergy to his food. Poor dog. Really, this guy should pay you to take his dog to doggy daycare for him every day. Then, the dog could play with other dogs and have attention all day long, returning home at night ready to sleep. Could you suggest that to him?

As for tonight, I'd just get a small bag of Purina One or something, and leave the receipt on the counter with the dog's leash. Hopefully he will reimburse you when he returns. Still, when he comes home, I'd go next door when you know he's home, and speak to him about the dog's health. He needs to take the dog to the vet, and also set up an account at the vet so that if an emergency arises, you can take the dog in to the vet, and the vet can contact him for approval of any costs, and to pay with a credit card over the phone or whatever. Under no circumstances should it be up to you to pay for the vet and then hope for reimbursement.

This guy sounds like a terrible dog owner. I'd almost be tempted to take the dog to the vet, just so you can get their feedback on how to handle this situation? Report it to the SPCA? Or Animal Control?

9 moms found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Forget the texting...give me his number and he'll get the message. The dog is neglected and in an apartment? I'm an ex vet tech and my man is a vet. I wrote their contract (5 pages, covered every possible situation) and it was a lot more than $15/day. Stupid pet people drove me to medical sales.

Talk to him in person, seriously not via text.

8 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Richland on

Text him asking the name of his vet and what dog food he buys.

6 moms found this helpful

V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

How sad. The guy may or may not be socially challenged or something, but he is mistreating the dog--even if it isn't intentional. It does sound neurotic (the hair loss) or stress related. The dog doesn't just need walks (which he does need) but attention as well. Dogs are social.

As for the food... if you pick up a small bag of something else, mix it with what is left of the other, so that the change isn't as dramatic to his system.

Not sure what else to say, other than, no it isn't likely a vet would provide treatment if you aren't the owner and aren't the paying responsible party.

---
Just wanted to clarify something. You mentioned in your SWH that the dog doesn't enjoy or even like other dogs and so isn't social. Whether or not the dog gets along with other dogs really has no bearing on whether the dog is in fact a social animal. Dogs are. They are not solitary creatures. They naturally would live in packs, not alone. This particular dog may not see other dogs as his pack, but rather people, since he lives only with people (or A guy, and is cared for by a young woman and her mom--you and your daughter). You guys are this dog's pack, whether or not you (and or his owner) realize it. And he is essentially abandoned by his pack.

Our dog is ok with other dogs. Doesn't love them, doesn't hate them. But isn't really accustomed to having them around, either. WE are her pack. When we go on vacation and have a dog sitter come to the house (several times a day) to take care of her, she sometimes doesn't eat. She gets depressed because her pack is gone.
When I have traveled out of town with the kids and husband was unable to come due to work, the dog would lay on the sidewalk outside and watch for our car and refuse to come in the house.

Being social isn't just a matter of playing with other dogs. A human might not feel particularly social, but there is a reason that most people do not choose to live totally in isolation--in the middle of the woods, truly alone, with no human contact. Because we are social creatures. We need contact and interaction with others. Some enjoy more and some prefer less, but we ALL need SOME. So do dogs. And this one isn't getting what he needs.
A "well socialized" dog, is given lots of exposure to people and pets (friends and strangers alike) when they are very young, to help them learn good/polite manners. But even if that doesn't happen, a dog left alone for the majority of its time/life/day/week... is going to be affected in a negative way.

6 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

The animal is severely neglected.
Sure your daughter walks him but he gets very little socialization/interaction and he's just alone all the time - which is cruel for a dog - they are social animals and need a pack.
Report him to the ASPCA.
He shouldn't own a dog if he's not going to be home to take care of it.

5 moms found this helpful

E.J.

answers from Chicago on

You and your daughter need to make up a written contract with this man to protect yourselves in the very least. Go to the library or look online. Have him sign it.

I would include your expectations of food being bought, dog biscuits, hours, how many times per day you will visit dog, how many minutes, holidays, etc.

I would also have him notify the vet you are caretaking and have copy of note on file and a copy for yourself. Make sure it says he is responsible for paying for visits. I would also clearly let the vet know what the arrangements are and have the vet communicate to the owner directly, while also sharing the information with you.

Can you increase the times of day you visit? Or enroll the dog in a doggie day care for a few hours? Bill him for it.

He is not being fair to his pet.

I think you have to ignore his style of communication. I think that is just who he is.

Get a written contract.

Maybe approach him if he feels he can really take care of a pet with so much traveling?

Poor dog :-(.

Best of luck to you

ETA: text him what food he eats and leave the receipt where he can see it to reimburse you.

5 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Can you text him back and ask what kind of food the dog eats? I'm sure you can get a smaller bag of his regular food, and leave the receipt for him so he knows how much he owes you for dog food.

Call your vet, who you take your little dog to. Explain the situation to them and see what they would do re: billing. My husband's brother had to take our dog to the vet when our daughter was born, she had jumped off of the couch and hurt her back. They didn't question him on whether or not he was the owner, he paid and we paid him back.

To me, this seems like neglect, why own a dog if you aren't going to spend any time with it? But at least he pays you guys spend time with it.

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S.N.

answers from Chicago on

This poor dog is one that needs to go on long daily walks. This is probably too much for your daughter to do but this breed needs it. This guy seems so uninterested that he doesn't even care if the dog gets walks, just that he can relieve himself.

This guy is a total jackass IMO. I would see if you could get a vet to see the dog and bill this guy. I would also talk with him about hiring a professional dog walker so they can treat him like a client and the dog will get proper exercise. It would take you out of the middle. Maybe give him a time frame but this dog needs more than your daughter can offer.

I would not text, I would tell him you want to talk to him.. See if he's thought about re homing the dog. This dog is being neglected for sure but the county would not see it that way. Poor thing is probably so lonely and bored.

4 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

poor dog. i'm glad he at least has you in his life.
i don't think you can or should take the dog to the vet. the owner would PROBABLY reimburse you, but with a guy this terse and clearly uncaring, it's not a given. unless you know you can afford the vet and are willing to donate it to the poor dog.
since he'll only communicate in text, simply state your case that way, and as simply as he does. 'no dog food. i will buy some, and will need the $20 on friday.' and 'i cannot take your dog to the vet. suggest you make appt ASAP.'
if he continues to neglect the dog, you may have to break off your arrangement with him and call animal control. no food, and no caretaker (if you and your daughter go off the job) IS neglect.
i sure hope it doesn't come to that.
why on earth do people get pets they don't have time for? grrrrrrr.
khairete
S.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

If this situation is no longer something you are comfortable with, then I would tell him he needs to find a new dog walker. I think that you need to be upfront with him that you need 1. notice, 2. for him to be proactive about his dog's care and 3. your (and your daughter's job) is limited to walking and spending time with the dog, not taking it anywhere or buying food. It is his responsibility to find time to take care of it other than providing a roof.

If he has no time for his dog, he should rehome it, but I would not be the one to take the dog to the vet because you don't know what might be wrong or how it might react to the vet. He didn't even tell you which vet!

I would also tell him that you need to speak to him because these short texts are insufficient.

3 moms found this helpful
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B.S.

answers from Denver on

The guy is too busy and shouldn't have a dog because he doesn't have time for it, also sounds like he doesn't really care about it. He's also socially a bit rude- maybe that's why he's in his 30's living alone...

If you report him for animal neglect and they take the dog away, the dog will just end up in a shelter. At least, the guy is paying you to take care of the dog. When he comes home I would go over and talk to him in person, just say you really want to keep caring for the dog and am willing to bring him to the vet but that you just need to be compensated for it...he should play you for these extra services and he SHOULD understand. Tell him he also needs to buy food (the nerve of this guy- maybe he should go on one less bike ride to make the time...).

Hopefully you can work something out, it sounds like caring for this animal is also a very good responsibility for your daughter!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.F.

answers from Orlando on

oof - I would ask the guy for weekly money to buy food so that you have a budget and can count on it. Just tell him you are happy to take care of it for him and pick it up when you are at your grocery store. I would also lean to finding an akita rescue and mentioning to this guy that if the dog becomes a burden for him there are options....

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

He probably has a vet he uses. I'd ask for sure.

As for the other stuff he's treating you like someone he's hired to do a job and he figures you do it every week, he doesn't need to ask you every week, he's hired you and expects you to show up and do your work. I bet he has a lot of people who he interacts with at work and he probably doesn't know a single one of them personally. You're his employee and that's all there is.

I think that you need to go knock on his door next time he's in town and ask him for some clarification. Let him know you'd be glad to take sweetie to the vet but you don't have a regular one and who should you take them to, who does he have an account with?

My FIL has a regular vet and when he's gone we can take the pets in for any reason or even go pick up dog food, meds, litter, greenies/treats, etc...and not pay a penny.

He does need to keep food on hand though. That's like leaving a kid with no food. The dog can't go get it's own food.

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M.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

Just text the guy and ask him who his vet is, the dog must get annual shots somewhere. If he doesnt have one call a vet near you and ask how much a typical visit is. Then let the guy know that so and so vet charges X and please leave that with the regular amount and that you will leave the receipt for him if any additional funds are due. The dog is likely scratching out of boredom or anxiety, they do that. If its gone on for a while it may be infected and he'll need antibiotics if he looks that much worse. Also, how long has it been since he's been groomed? Ask the vet if they do grooming or call a groomer and get a price. After the vet tell the guy to leave you money for that too. This guy sounds like a person with a social disability and likely has no inclining to have concern for another living being. The dog is there for when he needs him and doesn't exist when he doesn't. He tends to himself quite well with the expensive shoes, etc. so money should not be an issue. Just be as formal as he is and don't take offense by it. The guy will not be offended I assure you. It will go against your comfort level but do it for the poor dog.

Its a shame because Akitas are huge and do need to be walked several times a day if they are in an apartment. If your dog is mostly sitting with your daughter can the Akita sit in your living room and hang out? They are usually pretty calm, loving dogs and he'll be glad to have the company for at least a few hours a day.

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