What to Wear to a Wedding - Dana Point,CA

Updated on May 12, 2010
C.M. asks from Harpers Ferry, WV
20 answers

My husbands cousin is getting married in July and I hate wearing dresses. We will be going back east so it will be super hot and humid. But, at least the wedding and reception is indoors. So, I've always head that you can never wear black or white to a wedding. White because you don't want to outshine the bride and black because it's bad luck. But, when I've been to weddings (I'm a wedding photographer) I always see people wearing black. I found a dress that I really like at a great price and it's really cute and comfy too. But, it is black and doesn't come in any other colors. Would it be ok to wear black? Is that just an old fashion rule because from what I've seen, people do wear black. Thanks!!

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

I think a little black cocktail dress is perfect for a wedding. Not a formal floor length gown though. Spice it up with some metallic heels or a cute scarf. Have fun!

2 moms found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have often worn black to weddings because it is understated and simple and doesn't scream, "look at me"! I think you've hit the trifecta with the dress you've found: inexpensive, cute and comfy! Go for it!

1 mom found this helpful

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R.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi C.-

I wore a black suite to a friend's wedding a few years back, and it was find. If you're concerned, add a pretty pin or a scarf.

Congrats! to your cousin.

R. Magby

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

I personally wouldn't wear straight black to a wedding, not because of luck or whatever, but b/c it just seems like a gloomy color for a wedding.
I also hate wearing dresses, so I always wear dress pants and a nice blouse with heels or a skirt and blouse.
HTH! Have fun!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.T.

answers from Orlando on

It should be fine-- add colorful accessories

Updated

It should be fine-- add colorful accessories

1 mom found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from San Diego on

While I have no problem with wearing black to a wedding, be mindful if you think the bride/groom, their parents would be bothered by it. It doesn't hurt to ask them what they think. If it's a late afternoon/evening event, black is a more formal and elegant color choice. And there are many ways to soften the effects of black with nice jewelry, hair accessory, purse, etc. Consider a colorful or soft colored scarf or shawl.....I've noticed that during hot weather, they tend to over compensate with too much air conditioning.

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I think it's ok. I'd pair it with some fun bright colored accessories. Get a really bright colored pair of shoes and some fun colored jewelry too :)

1 mom found this helpful
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C.R.

answers from Seattle on

Wear black! No one cares!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You can wear black. No biggie. Have fun!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

I don't think there's anything wrong with a "little black dress" like a cocktail dress, but you shouldn't wear a black gown. And no white.

1 mom found this helpful

M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

Of course you can! I know SO many people who had their entire wedding black and white (where not just the bridal party, but all of the guests had to wear black and/or white). I have worn SO many black dresses to weddings! Have fun!

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J.R.

answers from San Diego on

I've seen plenty of people wearing black at weddings too. I think that's an outdated rule. Especially if this is a cute, comfortable dress that would be cool in hot weather.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

there's no reason not to wear black. I always wear black slacks and a nice shirt, unless I'm in the wedding or randomly feel like wearing a dress.

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C.L.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Wear black and don't worry about it. Everyone will be looking at the bride and no one should be worried about what you are wearing, so wear what makes you happy.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I think you have to go by what the family expects...if they have big concerns about black then they are going to focus on you and blame you for ruining an otherwise happy day, the joys of being in a family. I think just to be sure I'd call the cousin and ask her about it, it could be something like "hey, Jane Doe, this is C., tell me about your wedding, what are your colors, what is your mom wearing, ...what are your bridesmaids wearing,...I found this awesomly cute dress but it's black, do you think it would be oklay?" That way you can make a personal connection to her and still get your answer without it seeming like you are fishing for what they think about black.

I wore a long dress to a wedding at church, in the evening, when I was in high school and Gunny Sax dresses were the highest fashion. I was stared at and felt so out of place for the whole wedding and reception. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. I think a little black dress would be just fine. But if they are a superstitious family and you would stand out then I would caution you to pick the dress up to wear to something else and find something that would fit in there.

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D.T.

answers from Reno on

What about putting some really cute, bright jewelry with the black dress? Maybe some big fushia hoops and a chunky necklace, or even a multi-colored draped necklace with matching earrings or a big bracelet.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think the wearing black rule is old fashioned. Every wedding I go to has tons of people wearing black dresses. Even my own wedding, which was outside in the middle of the day, had many people in black. If you found a dress you love, go for it.

It is still considered inappropriate to wear white.

K.
http://oc.citymommy.com

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K.W.

answers from Phoenix on

The rule is not to wear white to a wedding, if you are not the bride. Off-white is fine. As far as black, that is perfectly acceptable! Etiquette never goes out of style. It is nice that you are thoughtful to ask too.

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

Oh plenty of people wear and white for that matter.. granted, I'd laid off the white ... not that that is an issue for you.. I would wear the black if you wish.. you could also look at NAVY blue pants if you don't feel too comfy in black... or just aren't quite sure if you should wear it.. Navy dress pants with a really cute light colored blouse and cute open toed shoes . really, if you aren't sure about the dress... resorting to pants, in my opinion is ok....and gives you a different option other than the black dress...
have fun whatever you do!

L.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Wear the black.... but I wouldn't go too overboard with the colored accesories.... a little splash of color here or there. That rule is old fashioned, and I think wearing white or Red to a wedding is horrible... the whole outshine the bride thing. Supposedly the mother-in-law wears red if she does not like the bride, lol.
The trend right now is jewel tones, so maybe some saphire or emerald colored shoes with a similiar colored necklace and earrings would look great!

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