28 answers

What to Tell People!

I am a little frustrated! I had complications during my labor and almost died. People keeping asking me when I am having another one. I don't know if I ever will or if I do it will be a long time! If I tell people I don't know if I will they say oh yes you will or you can't have an only child! It's frustrating that people won't leave me alone and that they think they know what I went through. How could I nicely tell them to leave me the hell alone?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you all for your responses, it helped a lot! I just wish people weren't so ignorant and would just mind there own business!
I have always wanted to adopt and would love too, but I hear it is really expensive and with me not working it would be very hard for us.

Featured Answers

People ask me that question and I already have two great kids!
It's gotten to the point where I just say
"As soon as Andy can get pregnant we'll try for number 3!"

1 mom found this helpful

I only have one and am a young mom. People have asked me countless times when im going to have another. I just say: "I am not thinking about it right now." If they keep asking if I ever will, I just say "I dont know."....because I dont know. I have 15+yrs left of fertility. Anything can happen. I tell them right now Im fine with one...maybe someday I will change my mind, but right now "i dont know". Usually they stop pestering at that. This response isnt mean or lying to them.

practice being assertive. Just say, oh I'm not even thinking about that right now. Period. if they keep talking just be like yeah...I'm not even thinking about that right now...I am just enjoying her.

More Answers

People ask me that question and I already have two great kids!
It's gotten to the point where I just say
"As soon as Andy can get pregnant we'll try for number 3!"

1 mom found this helpful

Ask them why do you want to know with a smile and leave it at that.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I must say as a mother to an "Only child" those comments hurt.

Don't worry, having one child is wonderful and amazing. It allows you to truely enjoy every angle of development. If you do choose to have another, you will know that it was fate that brought about the decision not meddling, ignorant so and so's!

Congrats on the joy of Motherhood.

1 mom found this helpful

just tell them you don't want to overpopulate the world!! just kidding. you could say that you want to give all your energy into raising one amazing little girl, and not worry about spreading yourself too thin, emotionally, physically and financiallly just because someone thiinks she needs a sibling. i hope you are well now after such a scarry begining and good luck!! H.

Unfortunately, you get that question even more frequently when your kid gets older! Our son will be 3 in December, and we get that question almost weekly it seems. We are unsure about a second (probably, but finances are the issue), so we have a variety of answers depending on who's asking.
"We have a plan."
"Oh... maybe someday!"
"We're just enjoying Chase growing up right now. We're not in a rush for another one."
"We aren't sure about #2 - we got it right the first time!"
"Are you planning on financing the second one?"

Like I said, it depends on who's asking. It's frustrating. I think people mean well, but their nosiness is definitely annoying. Kids are a really personal decision, but they always seem like a very public topic!

Good luck!

K., I'm so sorry about what you went through with your daughter's birth. My first labor was a very difficult one, though not life-threatening, and it took me a long time just to get over that. I hope you're healing well, physically and emotionally.

I'm also sorry people have been so insensitive. I have very dear friends with only one child who have decided to stop there. I also have a dear friend who is working on #7. All those families work. If you want another child, that's wonderful (and adoption is a good idea too). If you don't, there are lots of good reasons to stop at one. But it's entirely up to you and your family. I think it's entirely appropriate to tell people that's a very personal question. I'm not a very private person, so if someone randomly asked me when we were going to have another, I would probably just say "not anytime soon" and leave it at that. If they started to give me a hard time about that, I would tell them it's a very personal decision and that I'm not going to question all the decisions they've made, so please respect mine.

I hope it helps and that people quit bugging you so much!

I understand EXACTLY what you're going through. I had one, and a year later, ended up with an ectopic pregnancy and didn't tell anyone about it. Now, almost 2 years after my ectopic, I'm finding out that I may not be able to have anymore children due to complications with my tubal pregnancy. People ask me all the time and everytime, I want to cry. People are so nosey and don't realise that sometimes, you want to keep some things private. I don't like to talk about my ectopic pregnancy or the fact that I probably won't be able to have anymore kids...and I certainly don't want to talk about it with some insignificant person that I don't care to discuss my inner most feelings with.

The unfortunate thing is that I don't know you will ever escape the question...people will always ask. And, if they except the fact that you have one, they will then ask,...why didn't you have more? Never mind that somepeople CAN'T have more, so for me, everytime they ask, it's rubbing it in and making me cry inside. Their asking makes me want to punch that person in the face. But, I do the polite thing and give short answers, like another reader suggested. How fast do they want to to get pregnant again..my god...she's only 6 months old. I find sarcasm works well...Tell them your plan is to have 10 kids...and see where the conversation goes...it usually shuts people up for a while and you never really have to answer the question. Good luck...and I hope you deal with it better than I do.

practice being assertive. Just say, oh I'm not even thinking about that right now. Period. if they keep talking just be like yeah...I'm not even thinking about that right now...I am just enjoying her.

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