What to Tell a 2 Yr Old Child After Death of Loved One

I am so, so sorry you are going through this. I agree with going to your library to get some helpful books.

While I don't know what to say, I do know that you should avoid saying that they went to sleep and won't wake up. This can cause a lot of children to be afraid of sleeping, or afraid of letting you (or anyone else) go to sleep.

Make a memory book of the child and parent together so that he can always look back on pictures of them together and read stories about things they did together, what the parent liked, etc.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Unfortunetly at 2 years old, there is no way the child will fully understand. The feeling of abandonment isn't likely if he is surrounded by people who love him. Most children's first memory is around the age of 4, and that means he may never actually remember this parent. Keep pictures and tell loving stories about them until they're old enough to really understand death.

Hmmm, the county hospitals have to care for people, pay or not. If the county hospital is terrible, then perhaps one of them has a relative in a bigger city? Her pay would be higher, she might get health benefits with a new job, he might live. It doesn't sound as if they even know what's wrong with him. Heck, he could die of dehydration and have a very curable issue, no?

Or, call Catholic Charities and United Way to see if and how they can help them. No one should assume they wouldn't qualify for their advice.

My heart & prayers goes to the family. When we did'nt have any benny's i had to go to the hosptial I was in there for a wk. The hosptial had a grant progrm for people that had no insurance. It was a simple applying procedure. They help us threw it and we didn't have to pay for anything except for the Dr. fees. So from a 30,000.00 bill we paid 5,000.00. Now that is still a lot of money for someone that does not have it but I was so GREATFUL that this was there for me.

i would have her goto the hospital and tell them her situration an see how they could help or call her local hospice agency that specilizes in kidney failure. They might be able to take care of him in the home. There is alot of help out there put you have to go for it.

He should go to the hospital. Like another poster said, they cannot turn someone away because of their inability to pay. The business office may actually be able to help them find programs they qualify for etc.

I find it difficult to believe that they wouldn't qualify based on the fact that only mom is working and they don't have much. Plus Dad has an illness. My husband made okay money last year (around 2k a month) and I was a stay at home mom and our son qualified for state funded insurance in Minnesota called Minnesota Care. My husband and I did not qualify because his employer offered insurance, but just having our son covered for a while helped a lot. She most likely qualifies for WIC. They have very forgiving guidelines for income, assets and things like that. WIC staff is wonderful and can help her apply for other programs such as Foodshare (snap/food stamps that comes on a card now, so its just like she is paying with her own debit card and no stigma attached) and whatever state run insurance program SD runs. Even if SHE doesn't qualify, her 2 year old will in all probability qualify for it. That will at least take some burden off of her shoulders with making ends meet. She will also qualify for child care assistance. Many state programs are also attached to a statewide database for available jobs so she can also possibly look for another job through this opportunity. She may also qualify for energy assistance during the heating season (typically oct 1- early may), and rental assistance to help her keep her home.

We told our 2yr old that grandma went to live with God. We also said she died, but there is no confusion, because a 2yr old is too young to understand what that really means. She just knows she can't see/visit her anymore. We also talk about her and try to remember some happy moments they had. She knitted an afghan and our daughter knows grandma made it for her, so there is a tangible connection.

Is there something dad and he like to do together? They can make memories now. Maybe a coloring/clay/art project they can do together or something that can be saved as a keepsake. Can you order something online and have it shipped direct to them?

I like the memory/photo book idea too. Be honest and don't be afraid to say the words "died" or "passed on." But don't say dad was sleepy/tired or sick...a toddler might be afraid of sleep or getting sick.

This sounds crazy to me that this person won't go get help! There's no reason he should die. It sounds like he'll leave the family destitute if he dies anyway. I would do everything in your power to get this person to hospital. What in the world is he thinking???

He needs to go to a doctor!! It is true that there are a lot of programs that will help pay for medical bills. My FIL had a medical emergency a couple years ago. He didn't have insurance. The hospital told him about a program, he applied and ended up paying very little. My in-laws could have afforded to pay the bill themselves but still qualified because of the amount of income they had coming in. Maybe you could call your friends local hospital and ask about it...it sounds like he may be too proud to call himself? Do something about this situation...you will always wonder how things could have turned out differently if you don't.
They are lucky to have a friend like you that cares!

Have you thought about throwing a fund raiser for the family? It's a lot easier than you think. Find a place with a banquet room, ask them to donate the space and maybe 10% of the days proceeds. Find a band or DJ, ask them to donate their services or do this at a reduced rate. Go to local businesses and ask for donations for a silent auction, run the silent auction during the rest of the fundraiser. Put together a party, start with a theme, '50's night or '80's night have a costume contest, limbo contest, etc, prizes are donated by local businesses. Contact local radio and TV stations,at least a month before, they will advertise the event for free. Talk to the local newspapers and have them run a story about the family.
The other easy fundraiser is to again get a donated space, contact home business people, Avon, Tupperware etc and have them set up a table or two anything they sell or book that day 10-20% of the sales go as a donation to the family. I was involved in one of those and we raised $1500 in one day.
No matter what this family needs to swallow their pride and find a doctor and hospital to go to. This dad could say I don't want to leave a bunch of bills, I'm doing this for my son etc. If given the choice the son would say I want my daddy to get better and be here. So they incur a lot of bills they can pay them off slowly when he is better or file a bk later if they need to. His health is more important than his pride.

He should go to a hospital - they cannot turn you away because of inability to pay. They might actually qualify for treatment, but don't know how to go about getting it.
I'm SURE that if she told her employer that she needed to take husband to emergency room, they would be considerate of that.
They need to get him to a medical facility. It would be incredibly sad to find out after the fact that what he has is treatable and curable.
YMMV
LBC

Oh so sorry.
There are some wonderful books for children that deal with death and dying. Your librarian or bookstore clerk should be able to direct you. You should, however, preview them first to be sure they are appropriate for your family.
Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie is a matter-of-fact book about death as part of the cycle of life for all living things.
Maria Shriver wrote a book called What's Heaven?
I'm sure there are many others. (Try an internet search.)

Peace, love and positive thoughts,
J.

First of all, I don't think the issue here is really how to tell a two-year-old his dad died. The issue is how to prevent the father dying in the first place. This all sounds so passive to me. If the father is refusing to get medical help and actually wanting to die, I'm wondering if there is mental illness at play here. The wife needs to suck it up, find someone to drive both of them to a major medical facility and go from there. If he's a veteran, he likely will not end up having to pay for care at all and in any case, they will treat him and work with the family after care has begun on payments. If their income is low, they will likely qualify for state aid and it can be retroactively applied.

Another concern here is whether this dad is able to care for his son while mom is at work. If he's suffering from kidney failure it is unlikely he's in any shape to run after a two-year-old or handle an emergency. What if he lost consciousness or even died while the toddler was dependent on him for care?

I think it's great you've stepped in to look for answers, but now is the time to call in the big guns. If the wife can't get him to the hospital and he's really so ill he's facing death soon, an ambulance should be called. Speak with his Legion buddies, with the local doctors or social services. This situation is an actual emergency that doesn't need to result in a two-year-old losing his dad. Even if the dad has a fatal condition, he should be evaluated and at least given help managing pain.