What to Make of Unpredictable Co-workers?

It's the group of women phenomenon! I'd take a garage full of men to work with any day! haha
My strategy: Be nice to everyone, be polite, be friendly (but not too much personal chit chat), never gossip and do your work. Isn't that the reason we're there? To w*o*r*k*?

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I would probably be one of the ones they would not talk to ...LOL! Because I really do not care for office cliques. I find it hard to work with lots of women, so I don't. If it were me, I would not waste anytime wondering why this one or that one talked to me today. It really does not matter to me. Don't let it ruin your day. Because you have a new one tomorrow.

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I feel your pain, B.! I have been in the workforce for 20 years now and have seen many workplaces marred by TME (Too Much Estrogen). It's especially tough for us women because we want to be "friends" with people we work with; our ability to just go to work to WORK is muddled up by our desire to get along with everybody. Sad to say, there are workplaces where that will be impossible. I guess you have to ask yourself...do you want to be friends with these people? Or do you just want to not be enemies? If it's the former, I have to ask, why? And if it's the latter, you might want to start bringing a book or magazine to work for during breaks or other downtime, and cultivate your "aloof" persona. And definitly have an after-work outlet (girlfriends, husband, workout friends, etc) so that you can satisfy that itch for friendship without seeking it from those who sound unworthy.

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Part of the problem is that it is all women... Not saying all women are like this, but there are a lot of them....

No offense intended ladies!

I work with just about all men. And the few other women here are tomboys just like me. It's not that there aren't days that they act like jerks, but you can tell them bluntly, 'You don't need to be an a-hole with me buddy!' I think that's the difference... I know I can say whatever my 'knee jerk' thought is and they won't be hurt by it. They don't take it personally.

My problem is that I'm blunt and say whatever comes to my head no matter who it is... That's likely why I have only a few female friends. My husband says that's one of many reasons he loves me... I don't do the 'you should know why I'm mad' thing. I tell him why I'm mad and how to make that change. : )

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HORMONES, EMOTIONS, WOMEN - Don't we all have our days. It may have nothing to do with you. To avoid it affecting you though, act professional at all times and respect when they are in their "moods" After all, it is a work environment not friendship. If they are not personally causing you grief, then I would try to overlook it and be who you are - shine around them no matter what. All the best!

PS: I must disagree with Denise P. I thought it was better working with all men, but I do now, and it too has it's problems - no communication, talk only about sports, distance themselves, ignore issues, etc.

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It is what it is. If you keep it work related and professional you can not offend.

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Ahh, yes been dealing with this for 15 years. As I say, "Leave your problems at the door." My supervisor is so moody that we know when to stay clear from her (she will cuss you out in a heartbeat!) I also work with "highly" educated professorial who think of me as "lower class." They will not even give me the time of day to speak to me, unless they need something done. I even got into it with co-workers as they are always late (we are talking 5-6 hours,) taking two hour lunches, and then leaving early when I have to do all their work cause they are not here. I could go on and on, but we need our jobs, right???

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B., women can be each other's worst enemies. We wonder why we hit the "glass ceiling", why men have all the best jobs and make the most money. We have been taught as girls to "get along" and defer to others. Yet, when we get into the workforce, that "getting along" and deferring to others goes out the window, and the pecking order of the "hens" emerges. It's really ugly, and really stupid.

I managed a group of women and saw this. I dealt with it hard and swift, not allowing it to continue. One woman nearly slammed a drawer on another woman's hand, I swear. She had warnings in her performance appraisal review before that. I just could not believe that she didn't straighten her attitude out. The best thing she ever did was quickly go find another job, because she knew she would have been fired otherwise. I often wondered if she straightened out then, if she was able to.

Try to ignore the rudeness and if they are nice, respond to that. Do a good job, especially if something you do has to do with their job. Never gossip, if they tell you anything, keep it to yourself, and if someone needs some help, help them. People's attitudes will change if they see something they like. That doesn't mean be someone's doormat. If you sense that, if they are not nice regardless of your help, if they throw you under the bus, no more.

Hope this helps.
D.

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Women are pretty much insane at times. Too many of them in charge under one roof is usually a pretty volatile place. Just do your job and don't worry about who is flavor of the day. This mellows once y'all hit 50, the games finally stop and you start respecting other women much more. You cant respect them when they still act like dizzy, moody school girls tho, it's impossible.

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I don't work anymore, but i see this with moms at school and at kids events.
I decided I am not going to talk to those women and just ignore them always. Well, I am stuck with one of them being in the classroom helping with me. It is awkward now. I wish I would have stayed friendly even when ignored as others notice we avoid each other now. Plus, she has way more people who know her than me so she could make more bad feelings by playing the victim.

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I fall in that same age group too, so I don't think it's the age. I honestly can't explain the behavior, maybe they all have been snobs all their life. I think you are handling it well, do YOU, which you are, and just smile on the inside for not being two face...

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I see the thing. I don't understand when people act like that. I like being nice to everyone.

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Oh this goes straight to the heart of Rachel Simmons' "Odd Girl Out" (I think that's the author's last name). Anyhow, females are programmed to act like this. Why, I do not know. But some are just predisposed to be c***ts!

I second the suggestion that you cultivate some relationships outside of your office. Why the HELL would you waste your time and energy with these serpents anyhow?

I've been where you're at before. In fact, the last office I worked at prior to becoming a mom was like that. I wish I had taken my own advice early on instead of getting hooked into the "why don't they like me?" business. It is so important for you to realize that the problem is not with you. The problem is with female relational aggression, which is too, too common in a workplace environment.

Best,

E.

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It's not fun, but it is normal. Any time you are in an office with a bunch of women, women who have hormonal cycles, you are bound to have days. You know? Shake it off. When work is over, go some place where you are loved and can enjoy yourself.
That's what they mean when they say if it was fun, it wouldn't be called "work". :) It shouldn't be that way, but it is.

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B.,

I hate to say this being a woman, but women can be very nasty, unkind, catty, the list goes on and on to their female co-workers but often not to their male co-workers. I have experienced this in my long work career (I am over 50) and have been working since I was 16. It has more to do with personalities I believe than anything you have going on in your life. Obviously, jealousy plays a part. My work mantra is to just do my job and not try to be social with others around me unless a co-worker goes out of their way to be social with me and we strike up a friendship. I have a number of friendships that have survived long after we left the workplace and still keep in touch years later. There are others that I would never care to see again. Don't worry if you aren't accepted by this gaggle of hens, just focus on your job (your boss will notice) and only reach out if someone genuinly reaches out to you. Those friendships can be valuable someday.

S.

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I don't know what's responsible for the behavior. I see it in my office as well. I've learned not to take it personally. These are usually the type that will gossip, spread rumors, report everything you say back to their little clique, back stab, manipulate, pit one against the other, etc. I've seen alot of that in the workplace!!! I guess maybe it's a control thing? Like they're controlling the pawns in a chess game. I don't know though...

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Wow, I hate the women drama in offices. I am a consultant and have been in the middle of it at clients, and thank my lucky stars that when the project is over, I will be done. It just makes me think back to high school, and I hated high school.

I have a little of that when I'm not at a client, but it is a small office and I can avoid most of it. My way through it is just to not care. I am there to work, not socialize. If I make a friend, great, but I try not to let it bother me. I know, easier said than done, and it does still bother me sometimes, and no, I can't explain it.

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I think it is like that in every office where females predominately work. I don't know if it is jealousy, hormones, pms, etc. I don't see why people get like this, especially women. I don't find it hard to smile and say a friendly "Hi" to everyone I pass, I just don't get why it is so hard for a lot of people. If I am not the one initiating the smile and "Hi" greeting first, there would be a lot of people that would just walk past me. Even when I smile and say "Hi" first, I still get the cold shoulder and people walk right past me without saying anything or even smiling. Some people are just naturally rude and negative and you can't let that sour your day. Have a great one.

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I feel your pain. My office has recently moved and I work arounf many many different types of people. One day they smile and say hi and maybe even strike up a conversation. Other days they walk by like I am a stranger and give a rude look. I am who I am if youlike me great if not thats fine to. But if you are going to be my friend you will be my friend everyday. So I smile and nod at everyone. I would not take it personal. It is their problem. After all we do not come to work to make friends. But it does make it a hostile work place.

Wow that seems like somethig I could have written. These women round here are crazy too.

Do you guys ever have office parties or get togethers where everyone is invited outside the office? I think the more a company has of those, the easier it is to fight cliques.

Unfortunetly - i think this is in every office everywhere, no matter what age, size or gender of group. I never know from one day to the next whether I will be on the "in" or "on" the out. But in my office no one does... There is definetly a leader of the pack.. but the members change from day to day. It seems that there always has to be someone to hate - and it changes as often as the wind. I try to be friendly, but non-commital to the clique because I don't want to make others feel like I do on the days when I am on the "out" Offices are just like High School, except the people in them THINK they have grown up.

eeehhhh..same here....some days you have a best friend in some of the ladies and some days it's like why the heck are you talking to me. I am 27 and I work with women and men from young to old.....it's very different from day to depending on peoples moods and things........