P.H. asks from Montgomery, IL on May 02, 2011
What to Do with X's Family Photos?
We have a wall of family photos in a prominant place from a special trip we took to Maui a few years ago. My son and daughter in law are close to the end of their divorce. My son and his son live at our house and he has a serious relationship with a new woman. What do you think I should do with his family picture with his first wife? It's history. She was there and the children still love their mom. I'm in a dilema. I'll apprecialte any ideas.
So What Happened?™
All your answers are thoughtful and considerate. I totally agree with everyone who commented that the grandkids mom is and will always be their mother. I also agree with keeping their family picture out at this time. The new woman in his life does understand. She is very thoughtful, loving and accepting. After reading your responses, I think what I will do is leave the picture up until it' time for a new family photo-like at their wedding. Thanks so much, mommies, it's always so nice to hear several different points of view.
More Answers
C.O. answers from Washington DC on May 02, 2011
I would leave them be. Divorce or no divorce - she is STILL part of your family as the mother of your grandchildren. Your grandchildren STILL come to YOUR HOME - just because their parents are divorced - does NOT mean THEY are divorced from her. You can't obliterate her from your life. Your grandchildren STILL need to see that you care for their mother even if your son and she couldn't make the marriage work.
If the new woman can't accept that - then she's not the right woman for your son.
10 moms found this helpful
M.A. answers from Orlando on May 02, 2011
Put them away for your grandson. He will appreciate them some day.
5 moms found this helpful
D.P. answers from Pittsburgh on May 02, 2011
She's your grandson's mother. I would leave them alone. What message would you be sending to your grandson if you tried to "make her go away" in that way? As for the new "serious" girlfriend, she'll have to deal...and if it offends her--that speaks volumes about her future relationship with your son and your grandson, right?
4 moms found this helpful
M.. answers from St. Louis on May 02, 2011
Keep them there. She still is family, she gave birth to your grandchild. If I were the new girl I wouldnt have a problem with it.
4 moms found this helpful
S.N. answers from Minneapolis on May 02, 2011
Quietly put them away for your grandson and take a new picture of him and his dad to fill the empty spot.
3 moms found this helpful
J.C. answers from Columbus on May 02, 2011
Growing up, my Grandpa had pictures of ALL of his childrens' weddings displayed in the hall...two of his daughters married twice, there were two wedding collages for both of them, because they had been married twice. In my home, I have a picture wall which includes memories of MY life and yes, there are pictures of both of my ex husbands (and probably every boyfriend I ever had) displayed there. Why? because they were a part of my life, and you can't just remove parts of your life because you 'don't like them' or 'have moved on'. My life made me ME, why would I want to hide or alter that?
3 moms found this helpful
A.V. answers from Washington DC on May 02, 2011
We have a couple of pictures of my SIL's ex only because he's in with the family (her kids or the extended family), so your mileage may vary. If you put only some of them away, tell your son that you have these pictures out because they are great pictures of him and the kids. My DH has a few pictures of his ex up not for her sake but for the kids but we talked about it and I'm fine with it. The kids have a mom, whether we adore her or not but the pictures are about the KIDS, not her.
I agree to take down any "couple" photos. Put them away for the kids to view later. I think that it's a juggling act to figure out what to do with photos and relationships. The pictures that we have with xBIL or my DH's ex aren't prominent. They're just in the middle of other family photos and just one or two each.
Over time you can rotate them out and put up similar photos with the new family if he remarries. It will be a process.
2 moms found this helpful
J.R. answers from South Bend on May 02, 2011
If the relationship truly is history, I don't see why the picture would cause any problems. Just move it to a less conspicuous position.
2 moms found this helpful
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