24 answers

What to Do with Wedding Diamond from Previous Marriage

One never plans on ever getting divorced!

My first wedding set was a beautiful diamond set in platinum that I picked out myself and was exactly what I wanted. I was going to be married forever, so I got exactly what I dreamed.

Except things didn't work out exactly how I dreamed and we divorced. I kept my ring.

I tried to sell it many times, but there isn't much of a market for used diamonds, especially in the unpopular shape I picked. I had no luck on Ebay nor Craigslist (on ebay there are jewelers that sell non-used diamonds for cheap.) Jewelry stores wouldn't touch it because it was an unpopular shape. Pawn shops always offered me such a low offer that I left feeling insulted. I know that most of a diamond's value is sentimental, but a hundred dollars for a ring that cost us several thousand...I couldn't do it.

I have just hung onto it. I got re-married and this time both of us were going through tough times financially (with the recession and all) that we got inexpensive sterling silver wedding bands. I didn't get an engagement diamond but I didn't care at the time because I was so happy. We promised ourselves that we'd get nice rings when we got on our financial feet, but that hasn't happened yet.

I've thought about getting my previous diamond re-set into a right-hand ring that does NOT resemble a wedding set. (I don't wear necklaces much so getting it set in a necklace wouldn't do me much good.) It's such a pretty diamond. Is that weird to do? And is that even weirder since I don't have a nice diamond on my other hand from my now-husband? I went back to the jeweler that my ex and I originally purchased the ring from and he offered to take the side diamonds back and in exchange, re-set the ring for a cheap price. He won't take the center stone because of the shape :(

What do other people do with their diamond rings from a previous marriage?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Okay, okay! It's a heart-shaped diamond which is the most unpopular shape. Jewelers made sure to tell me that over and over! Many jewelers don't even carry heart-shaped diamonds, and those that do only carry one at a time.

I have no children from my previous marriage and my current hubby doesn't care what I do with the ring. At this point it's just a piece of jewelry. He was married before too and if we both made each other get rid of every single thing from our previous marriages we'd have an empty house!

Thanks for all the advice! I think I'll hang onto the ring and see if maybe I can donate it to a family member or something. I have lots of male cousins in their late teens, and maybe one day they'll want a nice diamond to re-set for their future wife! Thanks for the idea of donating!

Featured Answers

I sold my $800 set for $75. Someone else is using it and hopefully getting something out of it.
I could not stand the thought of anything reminding me of my first marriage.

4 moms found this helpful

i sold mine - originally cost over 1500 dollars and i got 300$ - oh well. i didn't want it (and i did LOVE it, like you i picked it out myself)

1 mom found this helpful

do what ever you feel the need to do as long as hubby is ok with it, i don't see the point of waisting a nice piece of jewlrey...still have my old wedding band from my previous marriage, BUT we had a child and when she gets married, i'll give my ring to her, i had both mine and her dad's but an ex bf pawned it off one day when i was at work...i was MIFFED!

1 mom found this helpful

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i know how you feel. my ex husband bought me a $1,500 3 stone PPF (past present and future) ring. we were married less than a year and he actually got the money from his parents for it as we were always broke ( he was on some serious drugs and always drunk) at the time i didnt care as i was 21 to his 31. but anyway back to the story. . . when i left him (he beat the daylights out of me) as a symbol to get rid of every aspect of him i sold the ring to some guy outside the pawn shop. i saw his girlfriend looking at the different types of rings and she kept telling him that was the type she wanted and he kept telling her they didnt have that kind of money as they were pawning his guitar to pay rent. i told him while she was in the store next door that if he promised not to turn around and pawn it i would sell it to him for $40.00. i didnt need it anymore and just looking at it brought back every feeling of hatred i had for my ex husband. i found out later that the guy was actually the son of one of the guests that stayed in the hotel i worked at. and they went to the court house with their parents 3 days later and got married with the "generous gift from a stranger" they now have been married for 5 years and have a beautiful daughter that i get email pictures of at least once a month. and "mom" is still wearing that 3 stone ring on her left finger.
i realize that there was no advice in that part of my story but was answering your question. my now husband of 3 years is happy i got rid of it. just the same as i got rid of all my things (except for clothes that would be kind of stupid) from ex's. the ring on my hand now is a simple band from walmart that cost no where near $1,500.00 but the love behind it is priceless. most men will tell you they dont care if you keep it but they are lying. ask yourself this would you be mad if he kept his ring from his ex wife and wore it on his right finger. and you KNEW where it was from and the story behind it? i would.

4 moms found this helpful

I too, am curious about the "odd" shape, lol. Please share :)

This may not even be an option for you, but I wanted to share my story with you.

I married my first husband (and father of my oldest child) when I was 23. I chose (and purchased, actually) my engagement ring and wedding set. That marriage lasted 6 months and entailed a bitter 2.5 year divorce. I met my current husband shortly after my ex and I separated and things moved extremely slow for us. 7 years and 3 kids later, he proposed last New Year's Eve, and we got married in May at the top of the Stratosphere in Las Vegas :) I should add that he was married before too. I held on to my first wedding set with the hopes that I could some day pass it to my daughter from that relationship. Then it hit me one day. The idea behind passing something like that down is the significance of the relationship behind it. Since that relationship essentially meant nothing to me, the meaning behind the ring was moot. We decided to go to Vegas to get married privately and we took both of our first wedding rings with us. We went to the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop...the one from the show Pawn Stars on The History Channel...and sold both of our old rings the day we got married. We didn't get much for them at all, but we weren't concerned about the price tag at that point. For us, it was more the significance behind it all. We left that last remaining bits of our past in that shop and went down the street and began our new life together.

As for resetting the stone, I would honestly consider how your husband feels about this, even if he doesn't tell you how he really feels. Put yourself in his shoes. Think about how you would feel if he continued to wear something given to him (in any form) by an old wife or girlfriend. You picked your ring out, yes, but your ex still gave it to you out of commitment. I can't imagine your husband has any positive feelings about you wearing it in any form.

4 moms found this helpful

I sold my $800 set for $75. Someone else is using it and hopefully getting something out of it.
I could not stand the thought of anything reminding me of my first marriage.

4 moms found this helpful

did you and your ex have children? maybe save it for them...

3 moms found this helpful

I can understand you not wanting to sell the diamond for a great deal less than its original value, but if it were me, I would just take what I could get for it and be done with it. Or give it back to your ex. I don't think I would want it anymore, even if it was re-set into something that didn't look like the original. By the way, what shape is it? Inquiring minds want to know!

3 moms found this helpful

I know that you are considering donating the ring but what about resetting it into a style that you and your new husband like? With money being tight and with not having a diamond ring, this might be the way to go. They can do lots of things now to make rings look so different. IF it were me, this is what I would do with it.

Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

I noticed you are a stepmom. Since you do not have children from your previous marriage, my 1st thought is out!

Next thought would be: I have several friends who had their previous stones reset into a right-hand ring (as you mentioned). BUT they found that they seldom wore the ring.....because of the drama attached to the "whole" event, & their current husbands were a little offput by it. Which brings me to my idea: since the value is no longer intrinsic - what about just donating the entire ring to the next silent auction of one of your fav charities? It could be your church, your alma mater, etc.

You would need to attach an appraisal from the jeweler to set a benchmark for the pricing. & that brings me to my next comment: based on how little you were offered by the pawn shops, how the original jeweler refused to take the central stone.....that really makes me question the integrity of the stone! Unusual shape, clarity of stone, etc.....normally holds or accelerates in value! BUT with anything used, it's used......& therefore will rarely be of any value other than to the original owner. Peace!

2 moms found this helpful

my mom kept her ring from her and my dads divorce and when my husband asked me to marry him she asked if i wanted her ring. she told me she had saved it all these yrs so one of us girls vould have it. i told her how cool that would be, but i wear a size 11 and my moms ring was a 6- no stretching there. the diamond wasnt very big but it was a beautiful ring anyway! so she still has it in her jewelry box, waiting for someone (with a smaller hand than mine) to get married

2 moms found this helpful

I pawned mine. Didn't get much, but don't want to have to answer to why I still have it in the future.

2 moms found this helpful

I talked to my hubby and told him I wanted my diamond reset as a pair of earrings. He was completely fine with it which was surprising since this was the man who insisted eradicating every pot, pan and dust bunny from my first marriage. Nothing's weird so long as you and the hubs talk and agree on the course of action. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

Why not keep it for your first born daughter? Like a family heirloom? What shape is it in, that is so unpopular? You can always try to sell it on ebay.com, but most buyers will expect paperwork to go with it, and an appraisal from a jeweler.

2 moms found this helpful

Do you have any children w/ your ex? If so, I would hold onto it and give it to them when they are older (either old enough to wear herself or old enough to give to the girl he wasn'ts to ask). My first engagement was a small one (it is what I wanted but it is considered a "friendship" ring) so it doesn't have much value and is personalized. I have saved it as a sentimental thing for my son.

Otherwise, I guess it would depend on how your hubby feels about you wearing the ring (or the reset stone) since it was from your first marriage.

1 mom found this helpful

My aunt had the most awesome ring ever made with her ring from her first marriage and other old jewelry she had laying around. It is a custom, one of a kind ring. It won't have the same meaning once it has been changed. Go for it. :)
And, yes, what is the 'odd' shape? Weird I have never heard of an odd shape diamond? There is a diamond outlet in Houston that promises to buy back any piece they sell, (at the original price it sold for or more), with a lifetime guarantee on that. I would think if that jewelry store sold it to you, surely they could sell it again in the future?

*I think this is the store that advertises the buy-back guarantee. They have a national, free hotline that may be able to help you if you still might want to sell it. You may have better luck selling it somewhere like Houston that has a bigger, more 'international' market. Just thinking?
http://www.diamondcuttersintl.com/

1 mom found this helpful

We wanna know - what shape is it?

I like the idea of donating it to a charity for auction.

1 mom found this helpful

do what ever you feel the need to do as long as hubby is ok with it, i don't see the point of waisting a nice piece of jewlrey...still have my old wedding band from my previous marriage, BUT we had a child and when she gets married, i'll give my ring to her, i had both mine and her dad's but an ex bf pawned it off one day when i was at work...i was MIFFED!

1 mom found this helpful

I am with the folks saying that maybe you should consider how your hubby may feel and realize that the ring symbolizes a relationship that no longer exists and therefore you might be better off letting it go. Another thought I had was to get it re-set as a pendent for a necklace instead another ring, if your hubby does not truly have an issue with it.

I actually still had a diamond engagement ring from my first boyfriend, prior to meeting my husband. That relationship ended amicably with no hard feelings on either end. I ended up getting it reset in another ring with a matching diamond, and a pearl in the middle. I wear it fairly often, but not all the time (my engagement ring and wedding band are on my left ring finger and I have a number of different rings for my right that I like to switch around). And DH doesn't care either way.

1 mom found this helpful

I think that you should just have it re-set into another ring. Talk to your new hubby and tell him that you want to do something with this diamond and celebrate your marriage at the same time.

I dont think it's weird. At this point it's merely an asset just sitting around being wasted! Have it reset and let your new hubby help pick out the design of the new ring.

1 mom found this helpful

i sold mine - originally cost over 1500 dollars and i got 300$ - oh well. i didn't want it (and i did LOVE it, like you i picked it out myself)

1 mom found this helpful

Get it reset or if you have a daughter get it cleaned put it into a jewerly box then as she gets older give it to her that is my plan if I ever became divorced from their father I couldn't just toss it away (but then again)..
I'm curious what shape is it in that's so odd about it??What would your new hubby say if it was reset into a bridal set just reusing the old diamond since your unable to afford one at this time?

1 mom found this helpful

You don't mention whether you have children from your previous marriage. If you do and if I were in your position, I would think about having the stone reset and giving it to my daughter/new DIL when the time comes. He's still her father/FIL, after all. I don't know where your town is in Illinois, but surely in Chicago you can find a jeweler who can make an unpopular-shaped diamond into a lovely piece of jewelry.

1 mom found this helpful

My first thought would be to save it for your children. If that's not an option, I'd go ahead and have it reset. Just out of curiosity, what is the center stone shape???? :)

My mother had her wedding rings from her marriage to my dad. She offered it to me and my sister, but neither of us wanted it. We told her to sell it and use the money for whatever SHE wanted.

My father had also given her an amazing custom designed dinner ring with 11 diamonds. She continued to wear it for years, but when she married her current husband he eventually purchased a dinner ring for her (it was so awful) so she would not wear the other ring. My mom agreed to not wear the original ring any longer and had him take back the dinner ring he gave her. She just told him she did not want any rings but her wedding rings from him.

You are never going to get the worth of the ring. So either sell it and get what you can and be done with it, donate it to charity and get a tax deduction, if you like the diamond see if your husband minds if you save and use the diamond in a future setting or save it in a safe place and give as an inheritance to someone else in your family.

It is just a ring at this point. It has no magical powers.

I worked at a jewelry store during college and we use to tell people that "diamonds have no memory". Of course that was when we were trying to get them to upgrade. =) I think, that if you love this stone, have it reset and wear it. That is of course if your hubby is ok with that, but where a diamond came from doesn't matter as much as what it means to you now. If you think this diamond is beautiful and it reminds you of the beautiful relationship you have with your current hubby, then go for it.

I don't even know where mine is! LOL
I think thrown in my jewelry box...somewhere.
I would have it set as a solitaire necklace. Not as "wedding-y" as a ring.
As for the missing diamond from current hubby....don't worry about not having one....you may still get it one day!

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