What to Do with Our Daughter During the Hospital Stay?

I just went through this. I have a 6 month old and my older daughter will be 3 in June. My daughter stayed with my husbands parents the whole time, day and night. And I had a c-sect so it was a few days. The thing we focused on was that it was a fun, all about Ava (oldest daughter)time with her grandparents. She got to play all day, eat ice cream, and do all fun things. They brought her to see us everyday and she stayed as long as she could take, but then she wanted to go play with Nana and Pops! She was having too much fun to care!

I have 3 - they are each 2yrs or less apart in age, so we have been there. My kids really wanted to be at the hospital, we involved them as much as possible & let them take the 'big brother/big sister' class @ Women's Hospital which was wonderful & made them feel like a part of things. The hospital also had a 'happy birthday party' for the new baby with the sibling & brought cake & everything. Your family is a big help in getting the kinks worked out, but the birthing team is going to be vital also. My advise is to see what the hospital has that will help the transition & if you want hubby to stay w/you & the new baby then really play up spending the night @ grandma & grandpa's like it is an adventure!
Mine weren't jealous of each other & transitioned very well...so it seemed to work for us
Best of luck to you!

Congratulations first off.
And second, we had my husbands parents stay at our home so our first could stay in her own bed and have her own routine, minus mommy being gone for a few hours. I was lucky enough to have a vaginal delivery and since I was in the medical field my pediatrician let us go home just a few hours after our son was born so it was only one night.
anyway, sorry to get off the topic. Keeping her routine as close to normal as possibly really helped.
and before the birth I carried around one of her dolls and kept telling her all the new things we would be doing with her new brother, that helped a lot. And his parents had no problem staying at our house because they knew they would get the first phone call!!

Hi A.!
Congrats on your new bundle of joy! I am with the other mom who suggested you keep to your routine (as much as you can). One other thing I didnt think of when we brought #2 home - My daughter was more angry about her car seat being moved from the middle than anything else.... in retrospect, we should have moved her seat to the side a few weeks before we brought our new baby home so she wouldnt associate the change with the baby.
Try to get your 2 year old accustumed the the routine before the baby comes - deminishing resentment.

Good Luck!!!
T.

The more you keep her on her schedule at least for sleeping the better. Its great you are involving her. Another thought to help with the "rivalry" is to have her baby brother give her a "gift" when she meets him. A friend suggested this to us and we have done it and our boys love it. They get so excited to see what the baby has for them and that he thought so much of them being his brothers.

Wow, I can't believe how many responses you have gotten. My daughter was 2y and 2 months when our son was born in September. She stayed at my in-laws and came to visit me a few times. She was a little scared of the IV and the fact that I could not hold her. She also had to be picked up from preschool because she was crying so much and could not be consoled. I had forgotten how much I worried about her. I had an emergency c-section, my son was in the NICU for a few days and I couldn't comfort my little girl. Everything will be fine as long as you send that message to your daughter.

I have not dealt with this yet but I will in the future and have thought this through.

If your daughter loves the grandparents then it might be a fun speacial time with them. They can make it an adventure.

When I had my baby hubby stayed the first two nights and then I sent him home at night so the dog wasn't alone. Since you are in the hospital you have tons of help at your finger tips. So maybe hubby stays one night and comes back in the day. Or maybe your parents can stay a night at your house....

Good luck

Try finding a relative to come to your house. My sister came to my home while I was hospitalized to sit with my then 22 month old. She was happy at home and comfortable with her aunt. Try calling relatives that are available like a grandparent or aunt. It is very important that your daughter doesn't associate the arrival of a new sibling with being separated from you and being away from home at the same time. If you cannot find a relative try a college student relative that may be done with finals and doesnt mind staying at your home babysitting while you are away. It could become a fun time for your daughter.

You will need all the rest you can get ,, Yes,,,let daddy take her home for some just me and daddy time. We have a custom where the father and any one under 3 go together and pick out an outfit or blanket for the baby to come home in . I also pack a small baby doll for my daughter to get when I got my baby. the nurses would bring im my baby and one would bring in one for my daughters. Then they had a baby too. Get all the sleep you can get...you will need it . God Bless you and your family. About me mother of 5 (63,64,65,69,71)and I have 11 grands and 1 on the way..+ 1great and twins due in june. N.

I had 2 c-sections myself. Ironically, the age difference is the same with my children as they are yours. She was so involved with everything, from doctors visits to the babyshowers. To my knowledge she never experienced any jealousy towards her baby brother. Now that she will be turning 23 and he is 18, they are still very very close. Sometimes they talk more than she and I talk (she is in college). Let her go spend alone time with daddy while you are at the hospital. Once you all get home, continue to keep her involved. Ask her to do small tasks for you and her new baby brother. When he takes ask would she like to lay down to take a nap also. When you need to go do a minor task ask would she just watch him for a moment. If he is sleeping ask if she would check on him. Just keep her involved not overwhelmed. Everything will be fine.

My youngestjust turned two and my husband and I had the same question. What we ended up doing was having our son come to the hospital a few hours after the baby was born and he didn't stay long just an hour or so. My husband brought him back up the next day as well. I don't think my son understood that his sister was coming home with me. There will be plenty of time for your daughter to be involved once you get home. For me being at the hospital was a same break from two little ones wanting my attention. I'm glad I had the time alone with my daughter because I rarely get any time with either child separately. Good Luck

I didn't know which way things would go when expecting our second child because Lili had almost four years as the baby. She was very involved from the beginning. She even turned to us at the ultrasound and said, "I told you I am having a sister" She stayed with Grandma the night I went into be induced but happened to be with me when I delivered ahead of schedule and Dad missed it. When they took Julia away to NICU she asked, "where are they taking my baby?"
Second new baby Addison, Julia was 20 months old. My concern was she didn't have 4 yrs to be the baby, she didn't even have two whole years. I was in the hospital 9 days before I had Addison. My mother came and stayed with the girls and my husband. Even though I had been gone a little bit from her she adjusted so incredibly well to a new baby in the house. I have not seen a moment of jealousy and Addison is now 11 wks old. Both my older girls are mommy's helpers and neither had problems with their new sister. Congratulations! I hope everything goes well.

Augra let your husband go home there is nothing that he can do for you because the baby will be in the nursey most of the time,he will be mostly baby sitting you.I do know this because I had a c-section and I stayed druged up most of the time.Your husband will be able to get some rest also and be ready to help you the next day.I know you will have a good baby because he is going to be born in May my husband b-day May 21st and my sons b-day is May 18th.Good Luck and get plenty of rest.Please dont lift anything that weighs more than your baby.B. F.

A., congratulations on your growing family! You are very blessed. I am the grandmother of two beautiful little girls who have named me Mimi. The oldest just turned two, one month after her sister's birthday. When her mommy had to go to the hospital, she stayed with her beloved Papa and me, and we made it a very special time for her. Of course, we spent as much time at the hospital as possible, but when we went home in the evening, she was the center of lots of attention and affection. Our time at the hospital was important and special, of course, but also a little difficult for mommy. Recovering from childbirth is never easy, and with you having a C-Section, you'll need all the rest and care you can get. If your child's grandparents love your little one as much as we love ours, (and I bet they do), they'll make sure that this is a special and happy time.

My oldest was 27 months when his brother was born. We kept his routine as consistent as we could, with grandma spending the night at our house and dropping him off/picking him up from daycare every day. They stopped by the hospital at night for a little bit (make sure your hubby is holding the baby when the older one comes in!!! that way you can focus on the older child). He was too young to really understand everything and was more interested when his baby brother went poopy! It worked great for us. Then, when we got home from the hospital, we had a routine that I read bedtime stories to him so we had our special mom/child time every day. Good luck!

I would let her stay the night every some what days, my sister in law had all this planned out when she had her C-Section. Her husband and my niece spent the nights with her during her stay. That w-end before we had their baby/pamper/and big sister party. In which, we took gifts for big sister too. We got her new pjs for her stayover, books to read to the baby, coloring books and things to play with. We also got her some dress up stuff to keep her busy. It worked out well, we all went during the week to help keep her busy. Best of luck! Congratulations!

It is very good that you want your 2 year old involved and she should definitely meet her new baby sibling. But being in a hospital environment can be so long and stressful for little ones. I just recently had my second and my husband's mother kept our two yr old boy. He loved his new sister..and still plays with her to this day. He went through the jealously phase but it was nothing to be concerned with.

And besides being h*** o* your two yr old it would be stressful for you too. You need your husband there with ya to help and get to know your newborn. I wish you luck!

When I had my second C/ - my DH stayed home at night with our 2.5 year old. My mom was there too, to help play with her and give her extra attention. But they all came to visit me together, and they would stay as long as they could, but I was alone at night.

When I had my 3rd C - again, DH stayed home with both girls, 5 and 3. His mom was there too, to help play with the girls and give them extra attention. But again, they all came to visit me, and at night were alone again.

I realized that being alone with my NB was special for me. Even if it was at the hospital. Because, I've never been alone with them again, since.

I had a c-section with our 3rd child when my son was only 17months old. As much as I wanted my husband there with me at night, I knew it would be much better for him to take our children home so they wouldn't feel left out. This helped me get well rested for the next day with our new baby girl, and my children came early the next morning to visit us. I hope this helps you a little, it was important to us to not have our children feel left out also.

A.,

My sister had her second child this week and has a 2 (almost 3) year old at home. We copied the things that my friend did and everything has gone well so far. When the baby is born, you need to have family time with the 4 of you only for at least an hour and have a BIRTHDAY party with a cupcake or small cake to celebrate the birth with your daughter. Let her new baby brother give her a gift at the party. My sister bought a stuffed puppy for my nephew and the new baby gave it to her with balloons when she was born. He was so excited! He has carried the puppy EVERYWHERE and brings it over to my house every day and tells me that he is a big brother and that his sister gave it to him. My friend bought her daughter a cabbage Patch Doll because it comes with a bottle and birth certificate like the real baby. Her daughter had to feed her baby a bottle when mommy fed the baby, so it kept some of the jealousy down. My nephew also thought the balloons were great and kept him entertained in the hospital during his visits. I think the trick it to make it fun and exciting to have a new brother and she will be much more accepting.

Congratulations and good luck!!
T.

I suggest keeping her at your house at night with your husband and with your parents during the day if that is what she normally does. ROUTINE ROUTINE ROUTINE! First of all, a hospital is either boring or intriguing for a toddler. There is nothing to do but play with the wires and equipment.

You need some rest right after the baby is born and both your husband and you need some bonding time with this baby which can be during the day. Send him home at night to spend time with your daughter. That way SHE will be the focus of HIS attention and she will like that. Also consider giving her a gift...a baby doll, that is "FROM THE BABY" she is so young she won't know the difference and will like the baby for giving her a present. She can also change the doll and feed the doll and have her own "baby" to take care of.

My husband took my daughter (2 at the time) to the hospital when my son was born and it was a nightmare. She was trying to climb on me and pulled the IV straight out of my hand sending blood everywhere. Then she got stuck trying to climb through the handle of my carry-on suitcase.

I would recommend just taking it easy...maybe you have forgotten, but c-sections are no picnic! Good luck!

Congratulations on being a new mom again. I believe that your husband should be with you during the c section procedure and the first night to help you. Yes the other nights your husband should go home and allow your 2 year old to sleep in her own bed, and this will allow daddy to give her some pointers about a new baby and how much she can be of help. She still requires alot of attention and a new baby may make her feel like she is being put to the side. You will doing a good job keeping her involved.Being a parent does not come with instructions, we have to learn as we go along.
I am a 38 year old with 4 kids and one grandson. One step daughter and 5 more grandkids. Believe me when I say learning by experience i am still learning.
Good luck.

What I did, was take advatage of the been there done that thing. I sent my son home with my husband so that he could still have his routine, I got some sleep and not so many visitors and spent time with my new daughter. Then, in the morning and afternoon, my son and dad would come to visit to see the baby. I had a c-section too and she had jaundice so we were there for 6 days. My mom was also there and would bring my son for visits too.

I was really suprised to see the difference IMMEDIATELY after getting home in my new daughter. Without all the visitors and all the sleep I got in the hospital and the bonding time I had with her (uninterupted) she was sooo much more well adjusted when I brought her home. She started sleeping through the night right away!

With my son, I had a constant run of visitors, then at night, my husband was wanting to "stay up" with the baby (of course in the same room) and watching TV so I couldn't sleep. I was exhausted and wasn't given the chance to rest. It was really hard when I got home and my son and I were not adjusted because we just never had any ALONE time together. I chalked it up to the "first child" hoopla and decided the second time around, THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT!!

I say led dad watch her and bring her for visits and keep her rountine. This will also keep her from feeling left out because dad is right there with her and she is at home. Take advatage of it and get some real sleep with your new baby.

Good luck!! And, congrats!!

Hi, A.,

Being a labor and delivery nurse, I can tell you that you will need your husband to stay with you in the room during your hospital stay. He will need to get the baby out of the bassinette when the baby needs to be fed, and he will need to assist you with the diaper changes, since you won't be getting out of bed for at least 12 hours after the c/s.

In my experience, two year olds do not last long at the hospital. They get bored rather easily, even if you bring ALL their toys/snacks/etc. MOST two year olds will look at the baby but that's about it, and then they want to go play.

Your two year old would be much more comfortable either at your house with grandparents, or at their houses, rather than be at the hospital, which is not a great place for two year olds!

Hope this helps!

T.

I truly believe that your husband should spend some alone time with your 2 year old while you are in the hospital. She needs to know that she is still special even though there is another baby coming, and this effort needs to be made every painful step of the way. Yes, it's a lot of effort. Your daughter may be scared once you leave, and having both of you gone at bedtime could make it worse.

When my twin godsons were born, I took my friends' daughter in the evenings, so dad could be at the hospital. If dad wasn't home when it was bedtime for the daughter, there were tears, but it was ALWAYS made better when I said "Don't worry, daddy will be home soon/when you wake up!"

This needs to be a special time for everyone in the family including your 2 year old. Kids love daddy time because dad is usually the one who is busy working.

Congratulations! Our daughter was 21 months when our son was born, also a repeat c-section (though he broke my water & sent me into full labor just two hours before we were supposed to be at the hospital!!!). Anyway, we had my mom and my husband's mom stay with our daughter at home. My husband went home every night I was in the hospital to give her a bath and get her into bed -- to keep to the "routine" as much as possible. She came up to the hospital the 2nd day, to see me and to meet her brother. She did okay. I think seeing me with the IV and all really freaked her out, and truthfully, seeing the "baby" no longer inside Mommy freaked her out a little too. But within minutes she was sitting beside the baby and even touching him a little (on the hand or foot). For all that stress on her, she really did fine. The best tips we were given were from the pediatrician -- when your daughter meets the baby for the first time, have the baby "give" her a gift for being a great big sister (we had a teddy bear ready), and for you, DON'T be holding the baby when your daughter first sees you at the hospital and also when you come home from the hospital. For some reason that helps "stem" some of the jealousy that they will feel. Hope that helps, and good luck!!!

Hey, A.!

I watched my niece (2) for my sister when she had her second. We went up there right before the baby was born...my niece stayed outside with family, but came in right after the baby was born...then we brought her up the next day for a few hours. My sis delivered vaginally so she was home sooner than you will be, but I think that if your daughter visits everyday and understands that mommy and the new baby need a big rest before they come home she will be fine. I think staying with close relatives is a great idea :)

Hi A.!

Fun times ahead of you! Be prepared for a variety of responses of your daughter to the new baby. Each kid is different. Sometimes my oldest daughter (who was 2 at the time) would love on her new brother and then when it came time for me to nurse him she wasn't so sure about it. She would say "Grandma hold the baby".

It only took days until her dolls started nursing up her shirt (and even switching sides). She even used a "nursing pillow" on her lap. It was hilarious. Her dolls nursed several times a day and then promptly went to a bottle when her brother finally quit nursing a whole year later.

The transition for the older child is usually easier than you anticipate it to be (trust me, I have four kids and worried about it every time). Just treat her completely normal. The thing that is always hardest for me is to not get frustrated with the older child that is still a toddler. They want to help so much but they climb on you and it hurts! My kids always try to be the "binky patrol". It is cute until the baby is sound to sleep and the older one goes and rips the binky out of his/ her mouth just so they can be the "hero" to make the baby stop crying when they put the plug back in! It is a lot of fun! Just try to be extra patient.

As far as the hospital stay goes, I haven't ever had a C-section so I don't know how incapacitated you become. I personally like my husband to go home at night and come back early in the morning just so that both of us can be well rested. When the nurses come in and out all night, it is hard enough for you to get rest, let alone someone else.

Good luck and have a happy 19 days! Whoo hoo! We all love the countdown!

A.

My son was 2 1/2 when I had a repeat c-section to deliver his baby sister. None of our family live in the area, so my mom ended up flying in to take care of my son while we were in the hospital. I'm glad you've got family in the area already to help out! And really, that should keep your daughter from feeling like her routine is being changed, especially as you've said she'll be staying with your parents like she usually does. My son is VERY routine-oriented, but when we had his grandma stay with him while my husband stayed in the hospital with the baby and me, he had absolutely no problems and didn't feel in the least bit slighted or left out. In fact, he reveled in the fact that he had his grandma all to himself! I really doubt that the few days you'll be in the hospital will cause your daughter any problems if your husband stays with you over night, and you will need his help. If you're worried about her sleeping in her own bed, why don't you see if one or both of your in-laws would be willing to spend the night at your house with her?

I'm a grandma of 2 and mother of 3 so I have had alittle experience with bring the next baby home...

I think that staying with the grandparents would be a great idea for the first day and night, but unless your daughter is used to staying with them she might really miss mommy and daddy...if you haven't done so already, you should leave her with the grandparents starting now, to get her used to it and she should be brought up to the hospital to see you and the baby at least once during the stay...
The first time that your daughter gets to see you after the baby is born, try not to be holding the baby, so that YOU can lavish hugs and kisses on her... I also bought my kids a new baby(doll)of their own and gave it to them on the first time that I saw them after birth... that way when i had to feed the baby... my other kids could sit and feed their babies too...
Your daughter might like some daddy time too... depending on how long you have to stay in the hospital... he could take her to the park for the morning and then back to grandma's for the rest of the day...

We had the smae thoughts when our 2nd baby was born via C-section. One thing that we did that really helped was buy small presents for our 2 yr old from the baby - we gave her one each day while Iwas in the hospital and told her they were from her sister. Also, dad stayed home until she was in bed then came to the hospital to be with me. Good luck

My husband went home at night for our 2 year old when our second daughter was born - it worked very well for us. Just our experience. Good luck!

I had a repeat c-section as well :)
What we did was have my son there when I came out with the baby. He got to watch while they washed and dressed her (got it on film thanks to my sister),then my hubby and son went home together after a couple hours. My Mom stayed with me at the hospital and my son and hubby palled around together during the day--visiting us occasionally and my son slept nights at home with my hubby. It worked out really well. I had the support I needed during the night from my Mom being there and wasn't overly stressed out worrying about my son's comfort. AND my son and hubby had some bonding time together.
I think keeping your older child around you most of the time will be h*** o* you. It's an exciting time for you but will be mostly boring and sometimes overwhelming for your older child.

My daughter had just turned two when I had my son by scheduled c-section. My daughter is very much a child of routine so I did what I could to maintain her daily and nightly routine. We had someone stay the night with us the night before the c-section, so they could bring my daughter to the hospital as we had to be there in the wee hours of the morning. My husband stayed the first night in the hospital with me and then he took care of my daughter day and night as I am a SAHM. They came every day to visit me and the baby and I think this was great for her to get to know her brother and all the discussion that the baby was going to be coming home to live with us were also helpful. Sure I would of loved to have had my husband with me the entire time, but I sacrificed this for my daughter. I like you did not want my daughters life to be completely changed only for me to come home with the baby and then things be very different. Probably the most valuable thing for me was having my mom stay with me the first week home from the hospital. Taking care of the baby and myself was enough, I could not of handled my daughter as well. This is what I did, hope it helps. I hope you a wonderful delivery! God bless.

When I had my second c-section my mom kept my 1 year old. She never brought her up to see me and she was so sad. With my third c-section I had a 2 year old and a 1 year old and she kept them the first night then my husband brought them up to spend time at the hospital but they were really bored. He stayed with them at home the rest of the time.

When my girls were 4,3,2 I had a fourth c-section and they spent quite a bit of time at the hospital. We went for walks and saw the babies in the nursery and ate in the cafeteria and went shopping in the gift shop and played with the baby. The nurses thought it was adorable. Still, it was hard for them to spend lots of time there.

I don't think that staying with granparents will cause problems, just make sure she does get to come up to the hospital at least once to see you and the baby. And make sure your husband is there the first night with you because it is so hard recovering from a c-section and not having anyone there to help you.

BTW, second c0section is much easier then the first.

are you kidding me? days with one grandma, nights with another? that's a kids dream. seriously, she will take her cues from you. if you say "sorry we're passing you around so much. sorry we're not at home with you, sorry you're not in your own bed at night." then she will feel sorry for herself and may act out. if you treat it as a vacation for her, she will be excited about it. she will follow your lead.

My eldest son was 21 months old when our youngest was born and we were concerned about the same issue. My parents came into town and stayed at our house while I was in the hospital. My son would spend most of the day with us at the hospital (including napping in our room), but when it came time for him to go home for the night my dad stayed with me and the new baby while my husband ran home with my mother. They put our son through his regular nighttime routine together and then my husband would put him to bed. Once my son was asleep, my husband returned to the hospital to spend the night with the new baby and me and my dad went home to help my mom should our eldest wake up in the night. They would get him ready in the morning and then come on to the hospital. I know one night he didn't sleep well so my parents let him sleep with them, but overall he seemed to do well with the set-up and thought it was great fun to have his grandparents at his beck and call.

Other items that helped with sibling rivalry: Right after our youngest was born and I was stitched back together our eldest came in to meet the baby. Also, we gave him presents from his "new brother." Last, while I was in the hospital he and my mother baked a birthday cake for his new brother and we had a birthday party when we came home from the hospital (what toddler doesn't love cake and a party?). I also made a point when we came home from the hospital of letting grandparents take the new baby when he wasn't eating so that I could have some quality cuddle time with my eldest. In fact, I think I had a harder time being seperated from him than he had from me. I also perfected the double cuddle, learning to cuddle with my eldest on the couch even while nursing the baby so he would never feel left out. Overall, he has adjusted very well with almost no sibling rivalry and now that they are 14 months and nearly 3 they are great friends.

Good luck!

I think having her at both grandparents is a good idea. First of all it takes the stress off of both you and your hubby, second if your daughter wants to go see ya'll your mom or his can just drive up there with her. Child riviry doesnt start until she wants it to. If you show her all the love in the world there will still be riviry. If your daughter wants to stay up there one night because of her new sis or bro you can go with it from there, you are the parents and you know what is best for your family.

I was in the same situation a few years back. We decided to leave my oldest daughter with my parents and let her decided how much time she wanted to spend at the hospital. They get really bored quickly at the hospital and will probably be begging to go home. My dad made sure while we were in the hospital he took my oldest to do her favorite things. Eat donuts, go to the park, go to the movies. She truly thought this birth was more about her than her baby sister. It worked out great. Eventhough, as moms we are more worried about their "new baby" transistion then we need to be. Your daughter will do great! Just let her grandparents spoil her for this time and everything will be great! Congratulations!

First of all CONGRATS on the new baby. My kids are the about the same length apart as yours i also had 2 csections, my oldest stayed with my hubbys mom the whole time, except during the day he was at the hospital, we let him hold (with our help) him and feed him, he also helped me change his pamper get him dressed and bathe him, he loved it he felt like he was a good big brother, we praised him alot on that, we also got him a "big" gift so when he came to the hospital he didnt feel left out with the stuff people brought for the baby and all the attention the baby got, my parents an his did this also. He was ok with it at first but after a few weeks we had to keep an eye on him, but i believe that is all from being the only "baby" around for 2 1/2 years and now he has to share everyone, and plus he doesnt do well with change. Good Luck i think no matter how you handle it she will be ok, just let her get involved as much as you are comfy with, just teach her to be gentle, ohh my sons play therapist also recommended getting a baby doll and start teaching him (her) to be gentle see how she does, my hubby wouldnt let me get "his son a doll" LOL!! anyway congrats and good luck!!

When my son was born my husband went home at night simply because at 6'2" the couch in my room wouldn't be very comfortable and I certainly didn't want him in my bed after surgery. He brought our daughter (4) up once a day and she spent the rest of the day with my mom. 13 years later, the kids are still happy and love each other so I guess it worked. You know your daughter better than anyone online, you know what she will tolerate and what she won't. Have a happy birth!
:)

Take it from someone who has 4 kids and went through this on more then one occassion. Let your husband go home in the evening and give your daughter one on one time that she will never have again. Once the new baby comes home which is pretty soon now a days there will be so much attention on the baby that she will get lost no matter how hard you try. I packed several presents for my "other" kids each time I had a baby and they got one from the new sibling each night I was gone. Besides you will only get the sleep you receive in the hospital and then never get it again so enjoy your solitude for a day or two and the wonderful bonding with your son.
I hope this helps.
PS I also gave my children the opportunity to come to the hospital whenever possible and most of the time they watched TV

I am in an identical perdeciment, yet I am one month behind :) My scheduled c-section is June 27th. :) Anyway, my mom is coming down from MI so my situation is a bit different, but she is staying at my house and will take my 2 1/2 year old home for her regular naps, bed time ect. She also plans to take her alot of fun places like the zoo ect. I was in the hospital for a week last time with complications so we are expecting that again so we can plan. Even if your parents live close, perhaps they can stay at your house? I know you don't want to throw your 2 year old's life out of order, but you also need time to heal and bond with the new baby. I know I couldn't have recovered from my c-section without DH, he helped me SO much.

Good luck, and congratulations!!

I would ask Grandma and Grampa to stay at your home with her at night. I would have Daddy go home with her to put her to bed and have grandparents there in case she wakes up so he can come back to the hospital. Daddy can go home in the morning and get her when she wakes up. She'll probably never notice he was gone. This way she has the comfort of home and inclusion with the new baby.

We did a little of both. Our daughter was with us most of the day, but she spent time with others as well. I hope our experience can help you or someone else.

I am a SAHM, so we didn't have to work around daycare. Since I am addicted to my kids that also means she was not used to being away from us for more than one Overnight at a time. (That is different now that they're older, they LOVE overnights.) My husband had saved up 4 weeks of vacation, so he still got paid while on FMLA, but he only stayed home 2 weeks. He had saved 4 weeks for our daughter's birth also, but I had it under control after 2 weeks this time. :) I've been hopping ever since!

Our daughter was 3 1/2 when we had a planned repeat c-section to have our son. We had a bag packed for our daughter with changes of clothes, snacks and some favorite toys and coloring books. After our son was born, my husband and family brought our daughter to my room. She and Daddy were the first to meet her brother. After a couple of hours, my husband took her for breakfast and shopping while I slept. They picked out a couple of gifts from her and Daddy. She spent the whole day with my husband and myself. My husband took her home at night, they had breakfast at home, had lunch out as "Daddy-Daughter" time, they brought their dinner to my room each night so that we could have dinner together, she napped at the hospital when she needed to, she was able to look through all of "her Baby's" gifts and then home for bed. Sleep time was only a little difficult for her because I wasn't there for our bedtime routine. She was included in everything. The four of you need to bond as one, and just you and the new baby.

Both of my babies were NICU babies for completely different reasons (DD went home when I did, but DS stayed 2 days after I was released), so she got tired of looking in the NICU windows REAL QUICK! My husband's niece and her husband made a point of coming by in the afternoons and taking her to their home or out to the park each day for an hour or two. It was a nice change for her and we were able to go to the on-premise pediatrician to discuss circumcision techniques and talk to the NICU nurses without having to keep track of our DD.

If you choose to have someone else keep her at night, make it out to be a treat for being such a great Big Sister. Maybe have a new nightie or pillow for her with "Big Sister Overnight Gear" painted on it. If she says she wants to be with Dad at "her" house, try your best to do what she needs. You'll know if she's just trying to get her way or if she really needs her familiar bed. Once in a while it's okay to "cave in" to our kids' "demands". Plan what you feel is best even though you may end up "playing it by ear."

Even at ages 8 1/2 and 5 (as of April 30th), my kids love to be together. Yes, they have their moments, but there is no rivalry as to who is Mom or Dad's favorite.

Good Luck! Hope your delivery goes smoothly!

Hi A.,

I had 3 c-sections and I can tell you that the second time is MUCH different than the first. It is a great idea for your 2 year old to be there the first day the baby is born unless it is at night. I don't think it's a good idea right after the surgery though, because it might scare her to see you in pain or in a weakened condition. Having the grandparents keep her is the best idea and they can make a big deal of her being the "big sister" and getting to see the new baby as soon as everybody is ready. I remember when my second son was born at 7pm and we had a 2 1/2 year old. My parents were there the night he was born and we left my 2 yr old with a friend. They brought my 2 year old up the next morning and he was really excited to see his new baby. You are not going to be able to take care of your daughter after a c-section and your husband needs to take care of you and have quiet time to bond with the his new son. That is really important for boys.
I'll be praying for you.
Peace,
C.

I went thru similar...my son was 20 months old when I delivered my second son- emerg c-sec. Whatever you do...don't be a martyr and say you can stay alone at night! I tried that on night #3 and they gave me a med I was allergic too by accident. I hallucinated all night and couldn't put two words together to call anyone!! NOT that it happens a lot...just be careful. I had my husband stay w/ me the first night...w/ my mom staying at my house w/ my first baby. The next night they switched. I am a stickler for a schedule...I couldn't have my son being moved around out of his house for 5 days! My husband was able to get a week off work when we got home. Then my mother came over every morning after he left for work on weeks 2 & 3. My first son was already 25-30lbs..and still in a crib. I wasn't supposed to be picking him up and walking w/ him. So she would get him out of bed for our usual 'morning snuggle time'. He did extremely well thru the whole newborn thing!!! BEST of luck!!!

My daughter was 23 months when my son was born. She came to the hospital with my mom during the delivery and came to see us as soon as he was born. She was very scared of the hospital (so I don't know that that is such a good idea:)) She was worried about "mommy" because I was hooked up to all of the monitoring equipment. She stayed wtih my mom at our house that over the next 2 nights and my mom brought her to the hospital several times to see us. There was a little possessiveness in the beginning, but that soon went away...the worst she got was holding on to me and saying "My mommy". We just reassured her that I was both of their mommies and she was fine. Good luck!

Just went through this in December. My mom spent the night at our house with our daughter the first night and then My husband had her the next night. We tried to keep her on her schedule the best we could. My daughter had a really hard time seperating from me. I am sure she will be fine just prep her that you will not get to come home until your doctor says it is okay. My daughter wanted me home and was upset that I had to stay in the hospital. Also, you might want to lay the clothes out you want her to wear when she comes to see you and her new brother for the first time. I forgot that minor detail- the pictures make me laugh though. My son is 4 months old now and the rivalry is gone and he has 2 mommies now! Congratulations and Good Luck!

A.,

I am a mother of three who has gone through three c-sections. No matter what you chose to do with your daughter durning her stay she will eventually exhibit some kind of jealousy,but don't worry your dauther will get over it. I had each of my kids pick out a little gift for the new bady and my husband and I picked out a little gifts from the baby to the kids. This seems to delay the on set of jealousy. Just try to take time to sit down and still spend time with your daughter and make her the center of attention; even if it is just a little walk around the block.
During my second and third baby my husband stayed home with the kid or kids at night because the hospital really didn't have very comfortable sleep location for my husband. My husband then bought my kids up first thing in the morning so they new that me and the new baby were ok and then left them with grandparents to switch off so the grandparent could also visit the new arrival. This also gave my husband some good nights of sleep to prepare for the baby comming home. You have given birth before and you know what you can handle, don't feel bad let your husband and family help. You know your family better than anyone else so just go with your gut feeling.
As for what to do with your daughter during the hospital stay just do what you know she will be comfortable with. If you are very lucky your C-section will go on when scheduled. My kids chose to come eariier than schduled and we had to plain each hospital stay on the fly.
Congrats! on the new baby and I hope everything runs smoothly. Hope this helps..